Penny Arcade Forums› Critical Failures
An update on recent technical problems and more from the admin: https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/250292/on-technical-difficulties-mod-coverage-and-other-things/p1?new=1
Options

Aw, son of a [Cards Against Humanity] (On break for a while, but reserves welcome)

1…5681011…73

Posts

  • Options
    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    I can't believe Extreaminatus is taking the advice of Duck Dynasty people.

    Round 43: Extreaminatus is judging

    Make a haiku.

    Please PM your answers after I send you your extra cards.

  • Options
    ExtreaminatusExtreaminatus Go forth and amplify, the Noise Marines are here!Registered User regular
    If it makes you, and the NSA, feel better, I felt kinda bad for playing that card.

    You know, after I was done giggling at my own cleverness.

  • Options
    initiatefailureinitiatefailure Registered User regular
    NSA hears ya, NSA dont care

    I Do Design | I PSN- Subtle_Ties | Secret Santa Evil-Amazon Wishlist
  • Options
    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    I haven't been exposed to @Initiatefailure‌'s and @Dr. Flamingo's best shots yet.

  • Options
    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    edited September 2014
    Yeah, I know. This is an especially tough card 90% of the time.


    Multiple stab wounds
    Ominous background music
    Three months in the hole (Iongantas) (*)
    Taking off your shirt
    Sneezing, farting and cumming at the same time
    Sweet, sweet vengeance (Discrider)
    Whispering all sexy
    Getting in her pants, politely
    Passable transvestites (Boozer)
    One thousand Slim Jims
    Filling every pouch of a UtiliKilt with pizza
    Bingeing and purging (Dr. Flamingo)
    Drinking responsibly
    Gift-wrapping a live hamster
    Not giving a shit about the Third World (Initiatefailure)
    Living in a trashcan
    Sharing needles
    Jerking off into a pool of children's tears (Cog)

    @Extreaminatus, who did the best job of making poets even more suicidal?

    Man in the Mists on
  • Options
    KaplarKaplar On Google MapsRegistered User regular
    One of the first posts to make me shamefully laugh.

  • Options
    CogCog What'd you expect? Registered User regular
    edited September 2014
    Honestly, I love the haiku rounds. And some of these are god damned masterpieces. You people are awful, awful poet laureates.

    Cog on
  • Options
    Fleur de AlysFleur de Alys Biohacker Registered User regular
    Five of those are goddamn fantastic. I don't envy Extreaminatus.

    Triptycho: A card-and-dice tabletop indie RPG currently in development and playtesting
  • Options
    initiatefailureinitiatefailure Registered User regular
    edited September 2014
    The Sauce wrote: »
    Five of those are goddamn fantastic. I don't envy Extreaminatus.

    oh thanks, make one of us feel inadequate then make all of us wonder if we're the one you're talking about. brb making a drink to wallow in early afternoon depression! You're trying to tear us apart to pick us off one by one!

    initiatefailure on
    I Do Design | I PSN- Subtle_Ties | Secret Santa Evil-Amazon Wishlist
  • Options
    CogCog What'd you expect? Registered User regular
    Yours was crap.

  • Options
    initiatefailureinitiatefailure Registered User regular
    I know :(

    I Do Design | I PSN- Subtle_Ties | Secret Santa Evil-Amazon Wishlist
  • Options
    CogCog What'd you expect? Registered User regular
    That post is gonna look extra dickish after Extreaminatus judges and Man in the Mists adds the names to all of them.

  • Options
    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    Guys, I think you gave Extreaminatus a haiku overload. We'll need to have the audience decide while he recovers.

    So everybody, please vote for your favorite in green.

  • Options
    KaplarKaplar On Google MapsRegistered User regular
    Taking off your shirt.
    Sneezing and cumming.
    Vengeance.

  • Options
    Fleur de AlysFleur de Alys Biohacker Registered User regular
    Multiple stab wounds
    Ominous background music
    Three months in the hole

    I get bonus points if this one is initiatefailure's

    Triptycho: A card-and-dice tabletop indie RPG currently in development and playtesting
  • Options
    initiatefailureinitiatefailure Registered User regular
    edited September 2014
    I'm just a commodity for points to you? I thought we had something

    initiatefailure on
    I Do Design | I PSN- Subtle_Ties | Secret Santa Evil-Amazon Wishlist
  • Options
    OrivonOrivon Happy Fun Ball They/ThemRegistered User regular
    Multiple stab wounds
    Ominous background music
    Three months in the hole

    I do want to say that all of the haikus are awesome.

  • Options
    LostNinjaLostNinja Registered User regular
    Kaplar wrote: »
    Taking off your shirt.
    Sneezing and cumming.
    Vengeance.

  • Options
    tzeentchlingtzeentchling Doctor of Rocks OaklandRegistered User regular
    Whispering all sexy
    Getting in her pants, politely
    Passable transvestites

  • Options
    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    I'm extending the deadline by 12 hours since we have a tie between "Taking off your shirt" and "Multiple stab wounds". Votes for the other choices will not be considered.

  • Options
    OminousLozengeOminousLozenge Registered User regular
    Multiple stab wounds
    Ominous background music
    Three months in the hole


    Sometimes I have ideas for things.
  • Options
    GizzyGizzy i am a cat PhoenixRegistered User regular
    Whispering all sexy
    Getting in her pants, politely
    Passable transvestites

    Switch Animal Crossing Friend Code: SW-5107-9276-1030
    Island Name: Felinefine
  • Options
    AnialosAnialos Collies are love, Collies are life! Shadowbrook ColliesRegistered User regular
    Whispering all sexy
    Getting in her pants, politely
    Passable transvestites



  • Options
    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    As overtime ends, the background music reaches a crescendo and Iongantas rises from The Hole.

    Round 44: Iongantas is judging

    The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, _______, acceptance.

    Please PM your answers while Iongantas admires how well "multiple stab wounds" would fit.

  • Options
    LostNinjaLostNinja Registered User regular
    edited September 2014
    Cog wrote: »
    That post is gonna look extra dickish after Extreaminatus judges and Man in the Mists adds the names to all of them.

    Or after we vote and he doesn't get any...

    Sorry @initiatefailure‌ :\

    LostNinja on
  • Options
    ExtreaminatusExtreaminatus Go forth and amplify, the Noise Marines are here!Registered User regular
    Well, the winner ended up being the one I liked most, so I'm okay with it.

    And sorry for not judging another damn round. I am worst judge.

  • Options
    CogCog What'd you expect? Registered User regular
    edited September 2014
    I'm glad this won.

    Multiple stab wounds
    Ominous background music
    Three months in the hole

    Not only do I enjoy the instant scene that this one creates, it's also actually a god damned haiku.

    Cog on
  • Options
    discriderdiscrider Registered User regular
    edited September 2014
    The only haiku I could create involved using 2 cards in one line, and the 3rd spanning the next two :/

    discrider on
    Steam Community page: http://steamcommunity.com/id/discrider/
  • Options
    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    edited September 2014
    I go through a mini-version of the five stage every Monday morning.

    The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, Viagra, acceptance. (Boozer)
    The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, concealing a boner, acceptance. (Extreaminatus)
    The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, civilian casualties, acceptance. (Cog)
    The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, throwing a Virgin into a volcano, acceptance. (Discrider)
    The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, a fart, acceptance. (Dr. Flamingo)
    The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, another shot of morphine, acceptance. (Initiatefailure) (*)

    @Iongantas, what beats the hell out of depression?

    Man in the Mists on
  • Options
    CogCog What'd you expect? Registered User regular
    edited September 2014
    For added fun, read only our answers top to bottom for the 6 stages of Cards Against Humanity.

    Viagra
    Concealing a boner
    Civilian casualties
    Throwing a virgin into a volcano
    A fart
    Another shot of morphine

    Cog on
  • Options
    IongantasIongantas Registered User regular
    Nothing takes the pain away like another shot of morphine.

  • Options
    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    edited September 2014
    Once it hits, Initiatefailure will accept anything.

    Round 45: Initiatefailure is judging

    This month's Cosmo: "Spice up your sex life by bringing _______ into the bedroom."

    Please PM your answers while Initiatefailure makes sure there's enough "party favors" on the nightstand.

    Man in the Mists on
  • Options
    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    Oh come on @Dr. Flamingo, your bedroom can't be that boring.

  • Options
    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    edited September 2014
    I still fondly remember someone's blank black card riffing off this one. Many people ended up in the hospital after listening to Cosmo.

    This month's Cosmo: "Spice up your sex life by bringing a robust mongoloid into the bedroom." (Iongantas)
    This month's Cosmo: "Spice up your sex life by bringing a PowerPoint presentation into the bedroom." (Boozer)
    This month's Cosmo: "Spice up your sex life by bringing eating the last known bison into the bedroom." (Extreaminatus)
    This month's Cosmo: "Spice up your sex life by bringing Sunny D! Alright! into the bedroom." (Dr. Flamingo) (*)
    This month's Cosmo: "Spice up your sex life by bringing the KKK into the bedroom." (Discrider)
    This month's Cosmo: "Spice up your sex life by bringing Daddy's belt into the bedroom." (Cog)

    @Initiatefailure, what will make things hotter than a habanero condom?

    Man in the Mists on
  • Options
    initiatefailureinitiatefailure Registered User regular
    Man, kyle's mom always had sunny d in the fridge for us after school... Or was it?

    I Do Design | I PSN- Subtle_Ties | Secret Santa Evil-Amazon Wishlist
  • Options
    CogCog What'd you expect? Registered User regular
    That was unexpected.

  • Options
    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    Not as surprising as when Dr. Flamingo woke up with a headache, no clothes, and a furious Kyle.

    Round 46: Dr. Flamingo is judging

    I'm sorry, Professor, but I couldn't complete my homework because of _______.

    Please PM your answers while Dr. Flamingo tries to convince the professor that a wild housewife ruined their homework.

  • Options
    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    edited September 2014
    You don't want to know what you're going to have to do for makeup extra credit.

    I'm sorry, Professor, but I couldn't complete my homework because of the Y2K bug. (Initiatefailure)
    I'm sorry, Professor, but I couldn't complete my homework because of 8 oz of sweet Mexican black-tar heroin. (Discrider)
    I'm sorry, Professor, but I couldn't complete my homework because of the entire Internet. (Iongantas) (*)
    I'm sorry, Professor, but I couldn't complete my homework because of sexy pillow fights. (Extreaminatus)
    I'm sorry, Professor, but I couldn't complete my homework because of a caress of the inner thigh. (Cog)
    I'm sorry, Professor, but I couldn't complete my homework because of a tiny horse. (Boozer)

    @Dr. Flamingo, what excuse won't you immediately laugh out of the room?

    Man in the Mists on
  • Options
    Dr. FlamingoDr. Flamingo 49 Gilded Disc Perceives the Sun Registered User regular
    The entire internet is out to get us, one assignment at a time.

  • Options
    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    So what did you in this time, Iongantas? YouTube? TV Tropes? Reddit?

    Round 47: Iongantas is judging

    Blessed are you, Lord our God, creator of the universe, who has granted us _______.

    Please PM your answers while Iongantas begins his assignment on how to create a God Of The Internet.

Sign In or Register to comment.
Penny Arcade Forums› Critical Failures