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[PA Comic] Monday, July 21, 2014 - The Talk, By Mike Krahulik
Never understood the fear with talking to your kids about sexuality; it's the most honest, and if you treat it right, useful to everybody, talks you can have with your kid.
That may stem from the fact that my "parental talk" was a phone call from my father to my broher, while he was at work, saying that my folks caught me and my girlfriend the night before, and my brother had to talk to me, which resulted in me talking to him and explaining/correcting, despite him being 4 years older than me..... yeah, i come from one of THOSE families that are the inspiration for sitcoms.
Anyways, the comedic value of this comic is still pretty good, mostly due to the sheer panic look in panel 3, coupled with the innuendos
I laughed at this one; it was funny, but I was simultaneously horrified thinking about how many parents really do have this problem. Kids have to hear about sex, and they should probably hear about it from you. I'm sure it's stressful; I'm not a parent yet, so I'm not going to criticize anyone for being uncomfortable/nervous about it. Just saying.... the real people who can't do this are definitely not doing their kids any favors.
My parents threw a giant book at me, told me to read it, and said to come talk to them if I still had questions.
I knew pretty much everything in the book already because, well, kids talk to each other, and the stuff I didn't know the book didn't give me answers for. So I asked my mom, who said, "I think you'd better look at that book again."
I guess I should say for me, but as a parent it's not talking about sex, it's admitting that they've grown up. It's losing Santa claus, easter and, oh yeah, the idea that your children are still kids. Objectively I understand that having the sex talk is important. But this is your baby. You remember when he or she couldn't even walk or shit without help. Honest to god, that's what you see when you look at them. And now they're asking what a clit is.
It's a powerful feeling to overcome.
+1
KalTorakOne way or another, they all end up inthe Undercity.Registered Userregular
The book my parents threw at me had a lot of Jesus talk in it, and warned against masturbation without telling me how to do it.
ComradebotLord of DinosaursHouston, TXRegistered Userregular
Ah, the talk. I didn't get much of one.
You know, beyond my mom telling me "You won't be welcome in this house if you ever do that with a black girl, and while some of those Mexican girls may look really cute now they'll all get real fat and want eight kids."
And I guess my dad showed me a few old Playboys. Beyond that, I had Gabe Jr's carousel education, involving the ramblings of confused kids (one of em' was obsessed with drawing male genitals, usually with massive, massive testicles that were placed above the penis), softcore Cinemax porn, a health teacher that avoided letting me ask questions (I once overheard her say that I "had eyes that were dark and soulless with no emotion or future, like a shark's eyes", so maybe that was why), and hushed whispers about the majesty and mystery of "The Boobs".
Just, you know, with my mom's casual racism sprinkled on top. Which reminds me, she also mentioned that Asian girls have sideways vaginas.
the thing that really worries me about potential future mini-fightinfilipinos is not that i won't be able to give frank words about sex and sexuality, it's that my offspring will talk with other kids, and those kids' parents will be prude jerks who will think i'm giving my kid terribad parenting :[
This bit from Tycho's post made me laugh pretty damn hard, "I would never say that I was better at this than Gabriel the Elder. Until recently there was an active rivalry, but I am currently the worst father in this galaxy - just beating out the malevolent Husk-Ship Armogedra. But my son does know what his dick is about, on account of a policy called Facts By Five. He listened in ever crystallizing horror until everything seemed to coalesce for him, he said “Okay,” and finished building his robot; a robot now studded with brutal, gas-powered chain-dongs."
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Goose!That's me, honeyShow me the way home, honeyRegistered Userregular
I don't recall that I ever had "the talk" with my parents. I think I just gradually gleaned things from a variety of sources (sex ed, friends, TV, peer ridicule, internet in my later teens). However, I figured out at a very young age that if you touch "it" in the right ways it feels good.
Which reminds me, she also mentioned that Asian girls have sideways vaginas.
How would that even
I've actually heard that one before. But damned if I know where the hell it got started.
I heard the same from an uncle when I was young but he said it was Jewish girls built such. People are fucked up.
1st ever "Penny-Arcade Hero Academy Tournament" Toilet Bowl Champion!
"You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."
My father never told me a goddamn thing about this either. He won't shut up about the boring shit, but sex? I was schooled by friends. One of them was four years older than me, and the other turned out to be gay.
My mother gave my sisters a "secret book" to teach them the mysteries of womanhood. But me and my penis were left to your own devices, and the mercies of the cold, hard street.
-~ÿ~-Pinky-~ÿ~-
Beer is the perfect lubricant for twisted and vile animal gibberish. I use it myself when the times are ripe and my need great.
But my son does know what his dick is about, on account of a policy called Facts By Five. He listened in ever crystallizing horror until everything seemed to coalesce for him, he said “Okay,” and finished building his robot; a robot now studded with brutal, gas-powered chain-dongs.
Rollers are red, chargers are blue....omae wa mou shindeiru
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That may stem from the fact that my "parental talk" was a phone call from my father to my broher, while he was at work, saying that my folks caught me and my girlfriend the night before, and my brother had to talk to me, which resulted in me talking to him and explaining/correcting, despite him being 4 years older than me..... yeah, i come from one of THOSE families that are the inspiration for sitcoms.
Anyways, the comedic value of this comic is still pretty good, mostly due to the sheer panic look in panel 3, coupled with the innuendos
I knew pretty much everything in the book already because, well, kids talk to each other, and the stuff I didn't know the book didn't give me answers for. So I asked my mom, who said, "I think you'd better look at that book again."
It's a powerful feeling to overcome.
what the fuck good is that to me
You know, beyond my mom telling me "You won't be welcome in this house if you ever do that with a black girl, and while some of those Mexican girls may look really cute now they'll all get real fat and want eight kids."
And I guess my dad showed me a few old Playboys. Beyond that, I had Gabe Jr's carousel education, involving the ramblings of confused kids (one of em' was obsessed with drawing male genitals, usually with massive, massive testicles that were placed above the penis), softcore Cinemax porn, a health teacher that avoided letting me ask questions (I once overheard her say that I "had eyes that were dark and soulless with no emotion or future, like a shark's eyes", so maybe that was why), and hushed whispers about the majesty and mystery of "The Boobs".
Just, you know, with my mom's casual racism sprinkled on top. Which reminds me, she also mentioned that Asian girls have sideways vaginas.
How would that even
Damn right it is.
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Ahh I miss Mike's old (i.e. good) art style.
I cried my brains out, because (since I had been in her womb) I very logically concluded that she had once devoured me like I was pizza.
The book my parents threw at me suggested masturbating with my best friend so that we could compare methods.
I did not follow the book's advice, and that was the last time I looked at that book.
What if you're one of those people who says your mom/dad is your best friend
Or what about Man's Best Friend
My reaction was mainly, "Really? That's how it works? But I pee with that."
"Then when you get older, stuff comes out."
I heard the same from an uncle when I was young but he said it was Jewish girls built such. People are fucked up.
"You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."
Why would that even matter, even if it was true
It's not like it can't still serve its intended functions!
Yeah, because a mystery has always been a great way to divert the interest of children.
My mother gave my sisters a "secret book" to teach them the mysteries of womanhood. But me and my penis were left to your own devices, and the mercies of the cold, hard street.
Beer is the perfect lubricant for twisted and vile animal gibberish. I use it myself when the times are ripe and my need great.
What's wrong with a good old-fashioned tube sock? The street sounds like it would chafe.
Was it Flowers for Algernon?
Flowers for Algernon isn't that long though! It is a short story.
Moby Dick, maybe. The book was very large.
Unless you're trying to say my posts have become gradually more intelligent until they peaked, and are now becoming dumber.
Sure...
Meant the awkward sex stuff in it.