Well after a weekend of hospital hell where my wife and I were pretty certain she was miscarrying, we saw our first ultrasound.
I saw the little heartbeat and I am not ashamed to say I teared up.
Everything was fine. All the signs that can say 'this might be a miscarriage on the way' were set firmly to 'nope, everything is good'. The bleeding was from the implantation and had just failed to get passed immediately.
Fuck the first trimester. I was able to keep some kind of 'this could very easily go south' throughout the past month and a half but finding out that everything is going well and seeing that heartbeat, well...
1st Heartbeat - amazing
1st Ultrasound - heart breaking
1st movement - holy shit what
birth - words not good enough for description
My wife's process took 50 hours I think? From water breaking on Monday morning to birth on Wednesday right at 2 AM or so. Most was just waiting around, then the vicious pain as mentioned, then epidural. Thankfully she was able to go naturally, as we were probably an hour or two from a C section thanks to my son, who decided wrapping the cord around his neck twice was a GREAT IDEA.
The numbers I saw were, at 8 weeks, with a detected heartbeat it's 2.8%
Which, I will say, is a little easier to deal with than the blanket 'first trimester is 25%' that I've been seeing, but it's still a high level of background stress.
Of course the corollary to all of this is that now I have to finish my basement because whoops I need to start getting a nursery ready.
So, I've mentioned this in a couple of other threads, but my cousin and her daughter (the niece I've been talking about because that's simpler than "first cousin once removed") are moving in with me because my cousin's got some serious health issues.
Childcare is more expensive than sending your kid to a state college, according to the national average. So if you can afford to straight up send your kid to daycare then you know you can get them through college and that's nice.
I hate playing the "more expensive here" game but I'm in NJ and i'm paying 316 a week. I can barely handle it.
Everyone keeps telling me to go somewhere cheaper, but just a BIT cheaper results in places that don't look good, to me. Too many kids per worker, dirty toys and playstuff, gross bathrooms. And the "out of a persons home" thing is out because I don't know anyone nearby who does that.
Over the summer while my kids aren't in school, it's going to cost us $800 a month for daycare.
That's a pretty sizeable chunk of one of my paychecks.
That's uh....super cheap. It's somewhere around an average of $1,600 here
I don't want to get into the "my childcare costs more than yours" dick-waving game, but between 8:00 and 3:00 costs $60 per kid per day here. Add an extra $60 per kid per day for childcare times outside of that ("extended hours").
So if you work from 7:00 until 4:00 (very common amongst blue collar trades here) and drop your two kids off before work and pick them up after, that's $1200/week... The government actually subsidises that a little bit for families that bring in under a certain amount of income per year, but I am not familiar with exactly what that cut-off point is, and how much the subsidisation is because the two kids in question are my nephews, not my own.
My wife's anesthesia didn't work for her first c-section (hence why I wasn't allowed in the room). She felt the whole surgery.
Fuuuuuuuuuck thaaaaaaaaaat
Holy shit yeah, I hope you're enjoying life on the private island you bought after suing the everything shit out of everyone involved in that horror show.
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Raijin QuickfootI'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPAregular
edited April 2015
We're also lucky because it's a good friend who runs the daycare
Raijin Quickfoot on
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Quoththe RavenMiami, FL FOR REALRegistered Userregular
$1200/week is the most absurd thing I have ever seen
I pay about $800/month and it's going down to $600 once VPK kicks in
1st child we went in on our due date at 9:00 PM to be induced. They checked and because Mrs. Arch was already dilated 3cm they declared her in labor and withheld pitocin. Epidural was administered at about 2:00 A.M. and baby was born at 10:57 A.M.
2nd child the doctor had us come in 9 days before the due date because Mrs. Arch was exhibiting symptoms of preeclampsia. We arrived at the hospital at about 1:00 PM. Pitocin was administered, and Mrs. Arch requested an epidural at 5:00 PM and it was administered at 5:30, but by that time she was in full labor and the epidural wasn't effective yet. At 7:13 PM baby #2 was born and the epidural finally kicked in by 7:30. My wife was not very happy with the epidural.
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Donovan PuppyfuckerA dagger in the dark isworth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered Userregular
$1200/week is the most absurd thing I have ever seen
I pay about $800/month and it's going down to $600 once VPK kicks in
I had a mate that was a diesel technician earning about $70k/annum, after his wife (a bank branch manager earning about $80k/annum) had their second kid, they decided he would be a stay at home Dad. It worked out much better, and that was nearly ten years ago now when childcare prices were only about half to two-thirds of what they are now.
So, I've mentioned this in a couple of other threads, but my cousin and her daughter (the niece I've been talking about because that's simpler than "first cousin once removed") are moving in with me because my cousin's got some serious health issues.
Holy fuck is daycare expensive.
Instead of paying for both of you to go to daycare, why don't you just watch her daughter, instead?
Kiddo is fifteen months and I'm about to head back to work (got laid off in December) so while it's been a blast to have unfettered access to hugs it will also be nice to have a paycheck coming in. Also good to know that while she's curious and handsy she's pretty much limited to walking. It's not like she can get into absolute everyth-
ceresWhen the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderatormod
Yeah "off the floor" meant "out of reach" for shockingly little time.
And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
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El SkidThe frozen white northRegistered Userregular
I'm lucky in a way, because we're saving a bunch of money having Grandma come in and look after our daughter on PD days, and doing school bus drop offs/pick ups 3 days a week. So we aren't paying any daycare.
...On the other hand, my mother in law lives too far away to really commute daily, so she is staying with us 3 nights a week. And some days I can't help but wish we WERE paying for daycare so that we had some privacy/sanity in our lives. :-/
My most recent birth was super short. I was having regular contractions for over a week. Then they became painful. I didn't even have time to get pain medication after I made it to the hospital.
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
So, I've mentioned this in a couple of other threads, but my cousin and her daughter (the niece I've been talking about because that's simpler than "first cousin once removed") are moving in with me because my cousin's got some serious health issues.
Holy fuck is daycare expensive.
Instead of paying for both of you to go to daycare, why don't you just watch her daughter, instead?
Because your way doesn't involve a juice box and nap time for me.
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FishmanPut your goddamned hand in the goddamned Box of Pain.Registered Userregular
I'm paying for 3 mornings childcare at the moment, but in a few months Case turns 3 and it becomes free as NZ has universal 20 hours free childcare for 3-5 year olds. We've got him enrolled for Montessori next year, and that will probably ramp up to more than 20 hours eventually but even then I'll still only be on the hook for a small portion of the cost.
My wife's anesthesia didn't work for her first c-section (hence why I wasn't allowed in the room). She felt the whole surgery.
Fuuuuuuuuuck thaaaaaaaaaat
Holy shit yeah, I hope you're enjoying life on the private island you bought after suing the everything shit out of everyone involved in that horror show.
Yeah it didn't occur to us until a few years later that we could have sued for anything. I do wonder now what would have come of something like that. Honestly though, I still don't feel like there was any real malpractice. The care we received there was miles above anything we got two years later at a regular hospital, even though the second surgery was as routine as can be.
Those daycare costs are mind blowing, I feel for you guys, that's a really difficult situation. I'm so glad that we're able to get by on my income, though hopefully in a few years Erica will be able to do some work part time. We're also really lucky that our local community center has a thing where we can pay $70 a month and have Taz cared for for an hour and a half every day, which is enough for Erica to be able to get a bit of work done on the research contract she has currently.
ceresWhen the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderatormod
So here is the other side of expensive daycare.
We can totally get by on Scott's income. But he makes just too much for us to receive any subsidies, and all the fuck I want to do is get a part-time job or take a couple classes to get started on the nursing thing. We have no local family and no local friends and at this point daycare is so expensive it's actually a net negative for me to get a job.
I mean, I guess that's what that's meant to do, right? Keep women out of the workplace?
And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
We can totally get by on Scott's income. But he makes just too much for us to receive any subsidies, and all the fuck I want to do is get a part-time job or take a couple classes to get started on the nursing thing. We have no local family and no local friends and at this point daycare is so expensive it's actually a net negative for me to get a job.
I mean, I guess that's what that's meant to do, right? Keep women out of the workplace?
ladyroar was in the same spot when the kiddo was a young bean, she could get a job but daycare was so astronomically expensive it would void out her even having a job.
Yeah, child care sucks. We live in the midwest where cost of living isn't that high, but sending our two daughters to day care is more expensive than our mortgage payment, property tax, and homeowners insurance combined. But my wife and I both make enough money that it's not worth it to have one of us stay home either. Plus, neither one of us wants to be a stay at home parent.
My mother in law is going to retire several years before the girls are school age, at which point she's going to start watching them for us which will be a great boon.
We can totally get by on Scott's income. But he makes just too much for us to receive any subsidies, and all the fuck I want to do is get a part-time job or take a couple classes to get started on the nursing thing. We have no local family and no local friends and at this point daycare is so expensive it's actually a net negative for me to get a job.
I mean, I guess that's what that's meant to do, right? Keep women out of the workplace?
is it?
I'd just kind of assumed it was because of costs of living and upkeep as well as wanting to be compensated for taking care of a bunch of kids.
My wife makes most of the money, so I couldn't take any job until I found one that paid enough to offset the potential cost of daycare.
This. My wife was working hourly, I had the salary. When little dude was on his way we had to make the decision, make it work on one paycheck; or find a better paying career-type job for the wife (meaning putting her schooling on hold).
We decided that day care was so fucking expensive that any job she could get would essentially just be paying for daycare and little else. So we are making a go of it on a single income. Honestly, it hasn't been as big a deal as we thought it might be.
-Cut back on carryout
-Cut cable
-Tax refund this year was NICE (thanks Obama)
'
We were able to get my Mother-in-Law to watch the little guy one day a week, and we have a nanny come in for another day (while my wife is finishing her degree)
But because we only get her for one day a week, and she still needs to make an income, we pay her $20 bucks an hour. Worth every penny for the short amount of time we are doing it, and I can write off up to $1,600 without having to worry about any other additional "employer taxes." But in the mean time, 4 days a month costs us $640 a month.
Thankfully we are almost through it, just April and half of May, then it will be like getting a massive pay raise this summer!
We can totally get by on Scott's income. But he makes just too much for us to receive any subsidies, and all the fuck I want to do is get a part-time job or take a couple classes to get started on the nursing thing. We have no local family and no local friends and at this point daycare is so expensive it's actually a net negative for me to get a job.
I mean, I guess that's what that's meant to do, right? Keep women out of the workplace?
is it?
I'd just kind of assumed it was because of costs of living and upkeep as well as wanting to be compensated for taking care of a bunch of kids.
(this is actually really exciting for me 'cause I am glad to have the motivation to finally finish my basement)
Welcome to being an adult, where your primary buying involves home depot/lowes and home decorating stores. Also - since we're discussing it - get on Daycare waitlists NOW. Not kidding. We barely got into one before my wife's leave ended, despite being on the waitlists 6+ months for 4 places.
But yeah, daycare costs are like whoa. We're fortunate that our local college has a great program, so all the daycares are pretty high quality.
Posts
I saw the little heartbeat and I am not ashamed to say I teared up.
Everything was fine. All the signs that can say 'this might be a miscarriage on the way' were set firmly to 'nope, everything is good'. The bleeding was from the implantation and had just failed to get passed immediately.
Fuck the first trimester. I was able to keep some kind of 'this could very easily go south' throughout the past month and a half but finding out that everything is going well and seeing that heartbeat, well...
I really hope nothing bad happens.
1st Ultrasound - heart breaking
1st movement - holy shit what
birth - words not good enough for description
My wife's process took 50 hours I think? From water breaking on Monday morning to birth on Wednesday right at 2 AM or so. Most was just waiting around, then the vicious pain as mentioned, then epidural. Thankfully she was able to go naturally, as we were probably an hour or two from a C section thanks to my son, who decided wrapping the cord around his neck twice was a GREAT IDEA.
Which, I will say, is a little easier to deal with than the blanket 'first trimester is 25%' that I've been seeing, but it's still a high level of background stress.
Of course the corollary to all of this is that now I have to finish my basement because whoops I need to start getting a nursery ready.
Holy fuck is daycare expensive.
(Massachusetts has the highest daycare costs in the nation.)
That's a pretty sizeable chunk of one of my paychecks.
That's uh....super cheap. It's somewhere around an average of $1,600 here
PSN/Steam/NNID: SyphonBlue | BNet: SyphonBlue#1126
Everyone keeps telling me to go somewhere cheaper, but just a BIT cheaper results in places that don't look good, to me. Too many kids per worker, dirty toys and playstuff, gross bathrooms. And the "out of a persons home" thing is out because I don't know anyone nearby who does that.
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I don't want to get into the "my childcare costs more than yours" dick-waving game, but between 8:00 and 3:00 costs $60 per kid per day here. Add an extra $60 per kid per day for childcare times outside of that ("extended hours").
So if you work from 7:00 until 4:00 (very common amongst blue collar trades here) and drop your two kids off before work and pick them up after, that's $1200/week... The government actually subsidises that a little bit for families that bring in under a certain amount of income per year, but I am not familiar with exactly what that cut-off point is, and how much the subsidisation is because the two kids in question are my nephews, not my own.
I pay about $800/month and it's going down to $600 once VPK kicks in
2nd child the doctor had us come in 9 days before the due date because Mrs. Arch was exhibiting symptoms of preeclampsia. We arrived at the hospital at about 1:00 PM. Pitocin was administered, and Mrs. Arch requested an epidural at 5:00 PM and it was administered at 5:30, but by that time she was in full labor and the epidural wasn't effective yet. At 7:13 PM baby #2 was born and the epidural finally kicked in by 7:30. My wife was not very happy with the epidural.
I had a mate that was a diesel technician earning about $70k/annum, after his wife (a bank branch manager earning about $80k/annum) had their second kid, they decided he would be a stay at home Dad. It worked out much better, and that was nearly ten years ago now when childcare prices were only about half to two-thirds of what they are now.
Instead of paying for both of you to go to daycare, why don't you just watch her daughter, instead?
Damn it.
twitch.tv/Taramoor
@TaramoorPlays
Taramoor on Youtube
...On the other hand, my mother in law lives too far away to really commute daily, so she is staying with us 3 nights a week. And some days I can't help but wish we WERE paying for daycare so that we had some privacy/sanity in our lives. :-/
http://www.homedepot.ca/product/dricore-r-insulated-panel/863431
(this is actually really exciting for me 'cause I am glad to have the motivation to finally finish my basement)
Because your way doesn't involve a juice box and nap time for me.
Yeah it didn't occur to us until a few years later that we could have sued for anything. I do wonder now what would have come of something like that. Honestly though, I still don't feel like there was any real malpractice. The care we received there was miles above anything we got two years later at a regular hospital, even though the second surgery was as routine as can be.
We can totally get by on Scott's income. But he makes just too much for us to receive any subsidies, and all the fuck I want to do is get a part-time job or take a couple classes to get started on the nursing thing. We have no local family and no local friends and at this point daycare is so expensive it's actually a net negative for me to get a job.
I mean, I guess that's what that's meant to do, right? Keep women out of the workplace?
ladyroar was in the same spot when the kiddo was a young bean, she could get a job but daycare was so astronomically expensive it would void out her even having a job.
My wife makes most of the money, so I couldn't take any job until I found one that paid enough to offset the potential cost of daycare.
twitch.tv/Taramoor
@TaramoorPlays
Taramoor on Youtube
Same with us. Such is the way with our wondrous society.
My mother in law is going to retire several years before the girls are school age, at which point she's going to start watching them for us which will be a great boon.
is it?
I'd just kind of assumed it was because of costs of living and upkeep as well as wanting to be compensated for taking care of a bunch of kids.
This. My wife was working hourly, I had the salary. When little dude was on his way we had to make the decision, make it work on one paycheck; or find a better paying career-type job for the wife (meaning putting her schooling on hold).
We decided that day care was so fucking expensive that any job she could get would essentially just be paying for daycare and little else. So we are making a go of it on a single income. Honestly, it hasn't been as big a deal as we thought it might be.
-Cut back on carryout
-Cut cable
-Tax refund this year was NICE (thanks Obama)
'
We were able to get my Mother-in-Law to watch the little guy one day a week, and we have a nanny come in for another day (while my wife is finishing her degree)
But because we only get her for one day a week, and she still needs to make an income, we pay her $20 bucks an hour. Worth every penny for the short amount of time we are doing it, and I can write off up to $1,600 without having to worry about any other additional "employer taxes." But in the mean time, 4 days a month costs us $640 a month.
Thankfully we are almost through it, just April and half of May, then it will be like getting a massive pay raise this summer!
Fortytwo's blog about fatherhood, life, and everything.
Also insurance costs.
Fortytwo's blog about fatherhood, life, and everything.
Welcome to being an adult, where your primary buying involves home depot/lowes and home decorating stores. Also - since we're discussing it - get on Daycare waitlists NOW. Not kidding. We barely got into one before my wife's leave ended, despite being on the waitlists 6+ months for 4 places.
But yeah, daycare costs are like whoa. We're fortunate that our local college has a great program, so all the daycares are pretty high quality.