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Round One: Gamora VS. She-Hulk: Voting is Open!
Son of Beyonder
From BeyondBeyondRegistered User regular
From BeyondBeyondRegistered User regular
ROUND ONE, DAY ONE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQNv2sY7Ge0Location
A high school gym somewhere
Backgound
Beat the Champ is an album from the Mountain Goats that's mostly inspired by professional wrestling. This song is about using foreign objects in fights. A foreign object is, essentially, anything you use to beat someone with in the context of a professional wrestling match. In some matches, this is illegal and will get you disqualified. In others, there are no disqualifications, or the match specifically encourages the use of foreign objects.
This match is that kind of match.
Your Prompt
Gamora and She-Hulk aren't here to have a chat. They're here to have a full on, no holds barred fight to the finish. In this battle, versions of these characters from an alternate universe where comic superheroes are professional wrestlers meet for one final battle. The story doesn't have to line up with any pro wrestling storyline that's ever been written.
That's it, though
TIME TO FIGHT
Son of Beyonder on
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She-Hulk counters the sword with a set of bleachers the crowd was sitting on
Gamora cuts it in half with her sword
She-Hulk pulls chunks of the actual floor and hurls them at Gamora
Gamora cuts them in half with her sword
She-Hulk tried to use the rubber band things on the sides of the ring the tie Gamora up
Gamora cuts them into ribbons with her sword
She-Hulk, desperate, throws the Ref at her
Gamora slices the ref in half
Finally, out of ideas and things to throw, She-Hulk pulls deep into her energy reserves, she has one last thing, a final gambit to win this match. She opens her briefcase and hits Gamora with....
Serving papers to appear in court because she just cut a dude in half. What the hell Gamora.
Gamora loses the landmark case "The People Vs. Gamora" which Jen is the prosecuting attorney.
Winner: She-Hulk
A. There's a conflict of interest there on Jen's side as she was recently involved in a conflict with the defendant
B. Also, at best she herself should be charged with assault for tossing that ref at a lady wielding a sword; at worst she's an accessory to the murder.
EDIT: C. As a non-resident of America, Earth and technically not even human, I'm not sure if she can even be charged with crimes under the criminal system.
It's like bird law. It's just not governed by reason.
Why I fear the ocean.
Their rivalry stretches back over a year, when Gamora's ruthless agression and constant attacks on the other women in A-Force caught the attention of She-Hulk who seeks to bring her to WrestleJustice. They butted heads a few times before this show, but after Gamora threatened to curb-stomp Hellcat, Shulkie's former tag partner, through cinderblocks She-Hulk agreed to one final bout that sacrifices her greatest strength: knowledge of WrestleLaw. Throwing down in a Street Fight, all of the rules go out the window and She-Hulk is forced to survive on her strength and wits alone.
Gamora enters the ring first, armed with a golf bag full of swords of all shapes and sizes and carrying two adamantium chairs under each arm. She sets them up in each corner of the ring as She-Hulk enters the ring, carrying no weapons except her own, formidable, fists.
They stare each other down as the bell rings, Gamora wasting no time and drawing a pair of swords while leaping at She-Hulk. Jennifer ducks the assault and rips the bag off Gamora, throwing it outside the ring. Gamora senses that Jen wants this to be a fair fight, she grabs Shulkie's hair and slams it down onto her knee. Normally such a low blow would be an instant DQ, but Street Fights have no rules.
They brawl for a good 15 minutes, with She-Hulk trying her best to keep Gamora close at hand and landing a few brutal suplexes until Gamora lands a decisive blow by DDTing the lawyer into one of the adamantium chairs. Sliding under the ropes while the Jade Giantess is dazed, Gamora snatches up her swords and hurls one at Jennifer. In a stunning feat of athleticism, Jennifer catches the sword mid-air and shatters it in half. She laughs at the would-be assassin and motions for another throw. Realizing she might very well be outmatched, Gamora decides to do what she does best: fight dirty. She grabs the nearest fan, sporting a BETTER CALL SHULK shirt, and holds him at hurls him over the ring, hurtling to the hard gymnasium floor.
Jennifer can't stand-by as a fan of hers is injured due to her inaction and races to catch him. She does and sets him down gingerly, complimenting his shirt. But before she can turn around, Gamora clocks her with a Phoenix splash from the top rope, holding an adamantium chair to her chest to make the blow count. Wincing from the move herself, Gamora refuses to let She-Hulk catch her breath and hammers her over and over and over with the adamantium chair until there is a She-Hulk head shaped dent in the damned thing. Dragging the barely aware She-Hulk into the ring, she holds her down for the three count and takes the match.
WINNER: GAMORA
Every Title On The Line. Every Rivalry Explodes. Everything Ends.
Hardcore Championship Match
The Challenger: "The Incredible" She-Hulk
vs.
The Champion: "Guardian of the Galaxy" Gamora
Let me tell you, this match has history behind it, dating back to She-Hulk's debut on the indie scene some years prior. A former valet to "The Big Green Monster" The Hulk, She-Hulk shared her cousin's hardcore edge, leaving many a competitor injured in the middle of the ring with her cousin's signature "Gamma Bomb". But the fans took differently to this lovely young woman than they did her cousin--within a year's time, she had found the love of the crowd and embraced a purer, babyfaced style, rising through the ranks and becoming a force for justice in the wrestling scene.
Meanwhile, a similar turn seemed to be occurring in the woman that would come to be her challenger, Gamora. A hired gun by the feared Thanos World Order stable, Gamora instantly won the respect of the crowd when she turned on her employers, breaking Ronan The Accuser's leg with a steel chair.
But unlike Ms. Walters, Gamora didn't steer into the love of the crowd. She turned on the fans, declaring that they were as complicit in the TWO's crimes as Thanos was, and that their fickleness had allowed other criminals to thrive. Appointing herself the "Guardian of the Galaxy," Gamora went on a campaign to eliminate these so-called criminals--taking a buzzsaw blade to the head of "The Hawk Guy" Chico Halcon, throwing a dumpster containing The She-Spider off the stage, and smashing a truck into Frank "The Punisher" Castle's car, before pinning him for his Hardcore championship. (When asked, Gamora said "She did it for the people.")
She-Hulk was seemingly next in line for Gamora's rage. The two clashed regularly in the months leading up to Secret Wars--Gamora attacking She-Hulk after matches with weapons, and She-Hulk narrowly escaping. Gamora claimed that, no matter how she tried to hide it, She-Hulk was a monster, and she would bring that monster out. But seemingly no matter what she did, She-Hulk stayed resolute. Until, that is, Gamora retired She-Hulk's friend and occasional tag partner, The Hellcat, with a sledgehammer.
She-Hulk declared that at Secret Wars, she was going to bring out the monster. She was going to get angry. "And Gamora... you're going to ****ing hate me when I'm angry.
The Match
Gamora starts the match off slow and cocky, trying to further piss She-Hulk off, but Walters is plainly stone-faced; she's having none of it. They go to the mat at first, which seems to enrage Gamora; she was supposed to be facing a monster. She rolls out of the ring, more mind-games. Jenn turns to the crowd, hyping the audience. There's still hope she can beat the champ her way. Gamora slides into the ring, and eats a series of power moves. The crowd is eating out her hand.
Until Gamora hits her with salt in the eyes. The ref is enraged but helpless. It's fair game!
Gamora brings the hardcore, rolling out of the ring and grabbing a pair of kendo sticks and beating Walters until they break. She throws Walters through the ropes into the announce table. BIG BODY SLAM THROUGH A TABLE. She-Hulk kicks out at 2. Gamora finally pulls out the sledgehammer--THE SAME ONE THAT RETIRED HELLCAT--to take out She-Hulk for good, screaming "YOU'RE NO MONSTER." She slams Walters with the sledgehammer, and She-Hulk goes down. Gamora has it won. She goes for the pin, but stops, and sees in the crowd...
IT'S HELLCAT! SHE'S HERE TO ROOT FOR HER FRIEND! Gamora gets in her face, and She-Hulk goes for the roll-up! Kick-out at 2! Hellcat tosses She-Hulk her signature clawed glove, and tells her "She-Hulk... Smash."
She-Hulk goes on the offensive, raking Gamora in the eyes, and laying into her with that same sledgehammer. Gamora is busted open, struggling to remain standing. "YOU WANTED A MONSTER, YOU GOT ONE." She sets up a pile of cinderblocks on the floor, and carries Gamora to the top turnbuckle. SHE'S GOING FOR A GAMMA BOMB. Gamora slips out, shoves She-Hulk off the turnbuckles, onto the Cinder Blocks, and--NO, AN INFINITY SPLASH THROUGH THE CINDER BLOCKS. SHE-HULK IS BROKEN IN HALF.
Gamora gloats in the face of Hellcat and goes for the pin. She's got this won, she has to--KICK-OUT! Wait, something happening... She-Hulk is shaking... staring at her hands... Oh my god... She's...
SHE'S ENTERING SHEHULKAMANIA!
Gamora throws wild punches, but She-Hulk shakes them off. She-Hulk lays out Gamora with a big boot! She stares out to the crowd. She locks eyes with Hellcat. She's going to finish this! She goes back to the top turnbuckle with Gamora in her arms. lifts her up... GAMMA BOMB OFF THE TOP TURNBUCKLE TO THE CENTER OF THE RING! THE RING HAS COLLAPSED AROUND SHE-HULK AND GAMORA! 1... 2... 3!
SHE-HULK WINS! SHE-HULK WINS! Hellcat is in the remains of the ring, hugging her dear friend! She-Hulk has lifted her onto her shoulders! What a day for professional wrestling! What a day to be a fan!
Winner: She-Hulk
Don't get me wrong she's one of my favorite lady heroes but Gamora, the deadliest assassin in the cosmos squared circle seems like she'd have the edge in any anything goes fight where she can pull out every dirty trick she knows
I picked her for two main reasons:
It was a bold challenge on She-Hulk's part. Everyone knew she was the better wrestler, but Gamora's viciousness and creativity when it came to weapons would give her a distinct advantage under these terms. She-Hulk had arranged this negotiation though, and had her associate, Hellcat taunt Gamora into coming out and agreeing to the match, declaring that if she didn't, she "wasn't really green at all, but yellow." It didn't make sense for her to draw Gamora out, and then agree to a match that favored her rival - there had to be another angle here, somehow.
No sooner had Gamora finished signing the contract when the question was answered. She-Hulk gathered up the papers, locked them inside her metal briefcase, and then swung the briefcase full-force into the side of Gamora's head. "Under the agreed terms, I choose now." Reeling, Gamora tried to recover, but She-Hulk pounded away with the briefcase, slamming it into Gamora's stomach when she tried to protect her head. She scrambled away, looking for anything she could use as a weapon, but She-Hulk had planned this from the start. They had stood at the table while signing the contract - She-Hulk had said it would look better for the fans, but it was clear that it was to limit her opponent's options. No chance to bring weapons to the fight, and not even any chairs to use in a pinch.
Battered by repeated hits to the head, Gamora staggered forward, possibly hoping to wrestle the briefcase away, or at least get too close for it to be swung at her. Instead she found herself grabbed by the throat, and chokeslammed through the very table where she'd sealed her fate. As she lay there, pinned contemptuously beneath She-Hulk's boot, with the ref pounding a three-count on the mat beside her, she saw her opponent open the briefcase, and pull out a new set of documents, these ones with the words "SUBPOENA FOR TRADEMARK INFRINGEMENT" written across the top.
"Gamora Zen Whoberi Ben Titan, you have been served."
Winner: She-Hulk
Remember, the floor is still open for debate!