Oh! In that case, my only advice is be more ruthless! I actually need to do another pass myself. It felt so good to actually be able to fit all of my clothes with room in my closets/wardrobe.
yeah i know
it's so emotionally difficult to be like
this is a perfectly good shirt
i like it!
i could wear it!
but i do not need 40 t shirts and like 25 button downs
poo
+4
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miscellaneousinsanitygrass grows, birds fly, sun shines,and brother, i hurt peopleRegistered Userregular
Oh! In that case, my only advice is be more ruthless! I actually need to do another pass myself. It felt so good to actually be able to fit all of my clothes with room in my closets/wardrobe.
yeah i know
it's so emotionally difficult to be like
this is a perfectly good shirt
i like it!
i could wear it!
but i do not need 40 t shirts and like 25 button downs
Definitely set aside a good chunk of time to do it - I spent the bulk of a Saturday on saying goodbye to clothes. Some of which still had the price tag on
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Indie Winterdie KräheRudi Hurzlmeier (German, b. 1952)Registered Userregular
oh well don't let me being stupid about perfumes discourage you. staying power has a lot to do with how it takes to your skin and/or clothes and that changes so much between person to person. just have fun with it
I recommend reading the life changing magic of tidying up. I got rid of 15 (trader joe's paper bag-sized) bags of clothes and haven't missed a thing.
Of course I haven't read the rest of the book past the clothes section, but I'm sure that's good too!
Did you stop at about the part where she said her socks felt happier now? Because I think that's where I got off.
Simplicity is great, and downsizing is awesome, and from what I've heard that book has some great ideas! I love a lot of the potential takeaways, but... I keep coming back to some aspects that trouble me.
For example, I routinely buy clothing to feel better about my body. I don't like how much I spend on clothing, necessarily, but the whole "does this spark joy?" approach to purging what I own is deeply flawed re: my wardrobe and my brain, because on some days virtually nothing I own can possibly spark joy in me. The stuff isn't the problem, obviously, my body image is. I think the inclination can be to dive into 'purging yourself of excess' in order to cure problems (clutter, for example) that are just symptomatic of deeper issues than decluttering can cure.
I dunno.
I've read lots of articles about Marie Kondo, but I haven't read the book itself. Maybe this concern is addressed.
"Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
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miscellaneousinsanitygrass grows, birds fly, sun shines,and brother, i hurt peopleRegistered Userregular
help me i own too many clothes and i need to declutter, i just moved and have a lot less space....
and this whole process has made me really realize how much money i wasted frivolously buying clothes on a whim, or because they were on sale
and then accumulating so many, things that were barely used or worn
omg
it's absurd
if i had invested all that money in a few things i coulda just gotten some really nice things
and also saved a lot of money and closet space too
(the guilt of this makes getting rid of / donating things harder, wasted money, sigh... sunk cost fallacy tho)
i have like 40 fucking t shirts alone
help me
how to minimize wardrobe?
what are good numbers to aim for?
Lost Salientblink twiceif you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered Userregular
Actually I was just talking to Dan about this and I kind of realized my beef with these capsule wardrobe/Marie Kondo lifestyle changes are.
And it's that, like a lot of things, the hype around them (even if their own claims are not as extreme) is that THIS WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE! THIS ONE THING SOLVES EVERYONE'S PROBLEMS! IT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPIER, HEALTHIER, AND EVEN BETTER IN BED!
I am very wary of anything offered as a magical panacea with the same results no matter who you are or where you're coming from.
"Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
Also excessive decluttering is just as much of an OCD impulse as excessive hoarding, it's just celebrated rather than condemned by our current mindset. I am wary of the people who find too much joy in disposal - I suspect it's sometimes a pathology rather than enlightenment.
Lost Salientblink twiceif you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered Userregular
I mean I'm not saying you shouldn't muck out your wardrobe, I donated like eight bags to the Goodwill last fall.
Just, like, you ain't gotta only own 30 items of clothing which can be strategically layered into enough iterations of outfits to make you seem sane.
You can and should if you want to, and if you see value in doing so, by all means! But if that makes you wanna ralph, don't! Maybe look for some freecycling events? Or organize a clothing swap? Or just sit down and sort everything into "nah really probably not going to wear this," "I still wear this when I feel like a lumpo," and "Every day, twice on Sundays" piles.
"Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
A reasonable guide for me has been "Can you remember when the last time you wore this was?"
If no, lose it, since the effective difference to your daily existence is nil. Same with "wait, I own this?" If you didn't know you owned it, and your discovery isn't met with an immediate "and I will wear this tomorrow", or "oh thank god, I thought I was out of underwear", then lose it. Again, you won't know the difference.
Formalwear etc is exempt, mind. Not worn a suit in ages, but not getting rid of 'em, for instance.
I dunno where I read this tho (I think a different author) but it did kind of make to me tho, all this general philosophy stuff of like
Own things for the lifestyle you want / the type of person you wish to be
Like think about what you want and own things that fit that
That made a lot of sense to me
I've hung onto a lot of things that are way old and I hang onto because at one point they were what I wanted
And I feel guilty getting rid of them
But I don't really want to have them anymore and they take up both physical and mental space / are a drag
And also all this taught me that, for me at least, that fleeting dopamine rush of buying shit on a whim / because it's on sale without consideration for what I own and how that item will fit in my life ain't worth it and I need to be more deliberate in my purchases
This is how I ended up with like 40 tees (post some serious purging) many of which are like the same color too
To be clear, I'm not talking about like going crazy minimalist or anything
Just general purging to a reasonable amount
I still have a really hard time getting rid of things even if I never wear them anymore because they're still perfectly good items of clothing
So in that regard a lot of the stuff she said in the book makes sense to me - the stuff isn't really serving me any purpose now, it served its purpose at the time when I bought it and it made me happy in that moment
But now it's just wasting mental and physical space
Thus you're trying not to feel guilty about getting rid of it, by acknowledging what role it played and accepting that it's no longer useful for you, I think, is the philosophy
Which made a ton of sense to me
The great purging must commence
Because right now my stuff doesn't even fit in my drawers and closet
i regularly dig up stuff i haven't worn in awhile. i just get really into certain pieces or styles, then forget about and eventually cycle back into it, sometimes years later.
you just have to know if you're likely to wear it again. that is more important than some arbitrary time limit. because people will always find a way to shift deadlines, if they are attached in some other fashion.
it's an interesting push-pull between having options while limiting excess, since a lack of options with the payoff of space can be equally stressful as a crowded closet. this is why people frequently end up with random pieces they buy to fill a specific temporary need, then never wear again.
you have to determine which is going to benefit you more on the regular -- a streamlined, curated wardrobe of outfits, or a wide variety of pieces to mix and match. i think a mix is going to be useful for most people -- coordinated looks that they can throw on to suit an occasion (work, attending a wedding, ie function costumes) and individual pieces that let them express a mood.
i admire the concept of a capsule wardrobe, but i recognize that i would feel restricted rather than freed. purging clothes is really useful to do on a somewhat regular basis, just to evaluate what you no longer enjoy, or doesn't fit, is grubby beyond cleaning or damaged beyond repair, anything that doesn't build your personal brand. but to claim that everyone would benefit from a cutthroat harvest of the closet kinda hinges on the idea that you can afford to rotate through clothes and replace them as needed. i am at a point in my life where i can do that if i need to -- not everyone has that luxury, and i certainly haven't always.
so having a lot of clothes is reassuring as a ... mmm, financial insecurity blanket, but also as a form of creative expression. like i said, interesting. that said, i also need to do some spring cleaning and arrange some clothing swaps...
@Angelina, i know you found your jewelry bits, but i like these guys. i usually treat myself to a couple pieces anytime i'm back in town. looks like shipping would be about 9US for you.
Then there's my mother in law, who gets rid of clothes just to have an excuse to buy more. I have clothes from highschool and haven't bought clothes in years, so I totally don't get it.
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
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Lost Salientblink twiceif you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered Userregular
Different strokes!
But yeah Shaz, sounds like you're due. Why don't you look for an upscale resale place or do the freecycle/swap thing? Definitely don't just throw out perfectly good clothes, but there are lots of other options! Think of that whole travels-of-a-t-shirt that Planet Money did!
"Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
it's just one of those things. learn from the past, don't live in regret.
i've gotten in the habit of taking books to resale places, then either take the money if it's a decent payoff, or donate all of them to my favorite thrift store.
i usually go friends -> sell (garage sale, ebay, resale shops) -> donate with usable things i'm purging, but it can be easy to get bogged down and lose momentum, so sometimes it's just easier to go straight to donating.
The things I have monumental trouble getting rid of are clothes my mother has bought me. Even if they no longer fit, or I never wore them, I just feel terrible giving them away or selling them. It's a whole different psychological category, because they're not so much clothes as symbols.
I could probably be ok giving them to a friend maybe?
The things I have monumental trouble getting rid of are clothes my mother has bought me. Even if they no longer fit, or I never wore them, I just feel terrible giving them away or selling them. It's a whole different psychological category, because they're not so much clothes as symbols.
I could probably be ok giving them to a friend maybe?
Yeah I have a bunch of tshirts my sister and my girlfriend have given me and I just feel awful getting rid of them
+1
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Lost Salientblink twiceif you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered Userregular
The things I have monumental trouble getting rid of are clothes my mother has bought me. Even if they no longer fit, or I never wore them, I just feel terrible giving them away or selling them. It's a whole different psychological category, because they're not so much clothes as symbols.
I could probably be ok giving them to a friend maybe?
Totally. My dad's a super sharp dresser, but it's like any time he picks something for me clothing-wise, I look at it, and look at him, and look at me, and think, "?????"
Accessories, he's on point! Clothes, it's like he's dressing some other weird moon daughter he dreamt of one night. But I feel terrible just being like "seriously someone else take these."
I still give them away, because eugh, but I feel terrible doing it.
"Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
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lonelyahavaCall me Ahava ~~She/Her~~Move to New ZealandRegistered Userregular
I was just looking at my cltohes and thinking I need to do another purge soon.
My purges are based upon "how much room do I have"
I bought a LOT of dresses while pregnant and have found that I actually don't mind wearing them as much as I used to. I don't think I've been in a pair of jeans since about this time last year.
So I need to dig into my jeans (which are in a vacuum seal bag in the bottom of the closet) and figure it I still want them. I've got to get rid of some of my "round the house" clothes, cause I'm just not wearing them. Then get the truly Summer dresses into vacuum bags until next summer.
I'm just running out of closet/drawer space and I am NOT going to buy more hangers.
I also need to purge the baby's clothes again. She's growing out of her 0-3months clothes already! Wahhhhh!
Like, every time I buy a new shirt, I have three shirts that I ought to throw away
And there's a fifty fifty on me actually doing that, as I am likely to become wildly displeased with that new shirt within the first two wears of it
Yeah, this right here is why I by simple t-shirts (also no pressure to dress up at all, because I can wear a Hawaiian print and slacks and that's suitable for business settings).
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Lost Salientblink twiceif you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered Userregular
I... is it though?
I mean I guess it depends on your business settings!
"Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
+3
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lonelyahavaCall me Ahava ~~She/Her~~Move to New ZealandRegistered Userregular
clothes are so fucking WEIRD
going through my closet (hey the baby was napping, might as well do what I was talking about, right?) and I find a dress that I wore to a friends wedding about 4 years ago. It's a size 20. I laugh and figure, 'no way in hell that's going to fit'. But I try it on and HEY it fits! Sweet! I have a nice formal looking short dress to wear!
Find another dress that I wore to a wedding 3 years ago. It's a size 24. Try it on. hahaha NOPE. So not fitting. Not even the slightest.
I used a bunch of clothing to pack up my stuff when I moved across the country at the start of last year. It's still sitting in the boxes that they were packed around stuff in.
That probably qualifies for 'I'm not going to miss this stuff, get rid of it'. One day, when I have shelves and cupboards, everything else will come out of boxes and be judged.
Posts
sure it is.
after awhile you just can't smell what you have on because you're so used to it. other people can still smell it fine but you yourself can't
and that makes some people start overapplying it
but some fragrances do completely wear off after ridiculously short amounts of time
oh absolutely x 2
yeah i know
it's so emotionally difficult to be like
this is a perfectly good shirt
i like it!
i could wear it!
but i do not need 40 t shirts and like 25 button downs
maybe? i was looking for a good entry-level fragrance and found it on sale
Definitely set aside a good chunk of time to do it - I spent the bulk of a Saturday on saying goodbye to clothes. Some of which still had the price tag on
i have a lot of pants that still have price tag on
that probably don't even fit
okay
if you believe in me bits, i believe in me
i can get rid of clothes
I CAN SAY GOODBYE TO THEM
I WILL HAVE A SMALL WARDROBE
Look, I'm not gonna kinkshame but...
Simplicity is great, and downsizing is awesome, and from what I've heard that book has some great ideas! I love a lot of the potential takeaways, but... I keep coming back to some aspects that trouble me.
For example, I routinely buy clothing to feel better about my body. I don't like how much I spend on clothing, necessarily, but the whole "does this spark joy?" approach to purging what I own is deeply flawed re: my wardrobe and my brain, because on some days virtually nothing I own can possibly spark joy in me. The stuff isn't the problem, obviously, my body image is. I think the inclination can be to dive into 'purging yourself of excess' in order to cure problems (clutter, for example) that are just symptomatic of deeper issues than decluttering can cure.
I dunno.
I've read lots of articles about Marie Kondo, but I haven't read the book itself. Maybe this concern is addressed.
"Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
here's a post i saw the other day related to this
https://rocknrollrunner.com/2016/04/24/project-333-capsule-wardrobe-challenge/
And it's that, like a lot of things, the hype around them (even if their own claims are not as extreme) is that THIS WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE! THIS ONE THING SOLVES EVERYONE'S PROBLEMS! IT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPIER, HEALTHIER, AND EVEN BETTER IN BED!
I am very wary of anything offered as a magical panacea with the same results no matter who you are or where you're coming from.
"Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
Lives can change and it's always worth remembering you can too, if you want to, or not if you don't
But I am wary of those things because in my experience changing yourself and your life is quite a bit of work and by no means is there a quick fix
Just, like, you ain't gotta only own 30 items of clothing which can be strategically layered into enough iterations of outfits to make you seem sane.
You can and should if you want to, and if you see value in doing so, by all means! But if that makes you wanna ralph, don't! Maybe look for some freecycling events? Or organize a clothing swap? Or just sit down and sort everything into "nah really probably not going to wear this," "I still wear this when I feel like a lumpo," and "Every day, twice on Sundays" piles.
"Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
If anyone wants to swing by boston they can feel free to take whatever they can carry/wear
If no, lose it, since the effective difference to your daily existence is nil. Same with "wait, I own this?" If you didn't know you owned it, and your discovery isn't met with an immediate "and I will wear this tomorrow", or "oh thank god, I thought I was out of underwear", then lose it. Again, you won't know the difference.
Formalwear etc is exempt, mind. Not worn a suit in ages, but not getting rid of 'em, for instance.
*
Steam ID - VeldrinD | SS Post | Wishlist
I wore that dress you gave me to Mysst and Jennerose's wedding on Saturday
"Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
I dunno where I read this tho (I think a different author) but it did kind of make to me tho, all this general philosophy stuff of like
Own things for the lifestyle you want / the type of person you wish to be
Like think about what you want and own things that fit that
That made a lot of sense to me
I've hung onto a lot of things that are way old and I hang onto because at one point they were what I wanted
And I feel guilty getting rid of them
But I don't really want to have them anymore and they take up both physical and mental space / are a drag
And also all this taught me that, for me at least, that fleeting dopamine rush of buying shit on a whim / because it's on sale without consideration for what I own and how that item will fit in my life ain't worth it and I need to be more deliberate in my purchases
This is how I ended up with like 40 tees (post some serious purging) many of which are like the same color too
To be clear, I'm not talking about like going crazy minimalist or anything
Just general purging to a reasonable amount
I still have a really hard time getting rid of things even if I never wear them anymore because they're still perfectly good items of clothing
So in that regard a lot of the stuff she said in the book makes sense to me - the stuff isn't really serving me any purpose now, it served its purpose at the time when I bought it and it made me happy in that moment
But now it's just wasting mental and physical space
Thus you're trying not to feel guilty about getting rid of it, by acknowledging what role it played and accepting that it's no longer useful for you, I think, is the philosophy
Which made a ton of sense to me
The great purging must commence
Because right now my stuff doesn't even fit in my drawers and closet
you just have to know if you're likely to wear it again. that is more important than some arbitrary time limit. because people will always find a way to shift deadlines, if they are attached in some other fashion.
you have to determine which is going to benefit you more on the regular -- a streamlined, curated wardrobe of outfits, or a wide variety of pieces to mix and match. i think a mix is going to be useful for most people -- coordinated looks that they can throw on to suit an occasion (work, attending a wedding, ie function costumes) and individual pieces that let them express a mood.
i admire the concept of a capsule wardrobe, but i recognize that i would feel restricted rather than freed. purging clothes is really useful to do on a somewhat regular basis, just to evaluate what you no longer enjoy, or doesn't fit, is grubby beyond cleaning or damaged beyond repair, anything that doesn't build your personal brand. but to claim that everyone would benefit from a cutthroat harvest of the closet kinda hinges on the idea that you can afford to rotate through clothes and replace them as needed. i am at a point in my life where i can do that if i need to -- not everyone has that luxury, and i certainly haven't always.
so having a lot of clothes is reassuring as a ... mmm, financial insecurity blanket, but also as a form of creative expression. like i said, interesting. that said, i also need to do some spring cleaning and arrange some clothing swaps...
@Angelina, i know you found your jewelry bits, but i like these guys. i usually treat myself to a couple pieces anytime i'm back in town. looks like shipping would be about 9US for you.
But yeah Shaz, sounds like you're due. Why don't you look for an upscale resale place or do the freecycle/swap thing? Definitely don't just throw out perfectly good clothes, but there are lots of other options! Think of that whole travels-of-a-t-shirt that Planet Money did!
"Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
Shit goes to donation
Or to my dad who was like bring me your old shirts
Look at all these t shirts!
https://imgur.com/a/88LOr
(Doesn't count gym shirts)
The most painful thing is I really only wear 2 pairs of pants but own way more
Cuz half don't fit me or I just don't like them
Some still have tags on
If only I'd taken all those hundreds of dollars spend on pants and instead bought a few really nice pairs of pants
At least I've stopped myself from buying new clothes the last good while except a few nice things
For a while it'd just be OH THERES A SALE?
Luckily I unsubscribed from most of those newsletters
Oh marketing
i've gotten in the habit of taking books to resale places, then either take the money if it's a decent payoff, or donate all of them to my favorite thrift store.
i usually go friends -> sell (garage sale, ebay, resale shops) -> donate with usable things i'm purging, but it can be easy to get bogged down and lose momentum, so sometimes it's just easier to go straight to donating.
I do want to get rid of a lot of things, not just clothes, but clothes first
I could probably be ok giving them to a friend maybe?
Yeah I have a bunch of tshirts my sister and my girlfriend have given me and I just feel awful getting rid of them
Totally. My dad's a super sharp dresser, but it's like any time he picks something for me clothing-wise, I look at it, and look at him, and look at me, and think, "?????"
Accessories, he's on point! Clothes, it's like he's dressing some other weird moon daughter he dreamt of one night. But I feel terrible just being like "seriously someone else take these."
I still give them away, because eugh, but I feel terrible doing it.
"Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
My purges are based upon "how much room do I have"
I bought a LOT of dresses while pregnant and have found that I actually don't mind wearing them as much as I used to. I don't think I've been in a pair of jeans since about this time last year.
So I need to dig into my jeans (which are in a vacuum seal bag in the bottom of the closet) and figure it I still want them. I've got to get rid of some of my "round the house" clothes, cause I'm just not wearing them. Then get the truly Summer dresses into vacuum bags until next summer.
I'm just running out of closet/drawer space and I am NOT going to buy more hangers.
I also need to purge the baby's clothes again. She's growing out of her 0-3months clothes already! Wahhhhh!
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
Like, every time I buy a new shirt, I have three shirts that I ought to throw away
And there's a fifty fifty on me actually doing that, as I am likely to become wildly displeased with that new shirt within the first two wears of it
Yeah, this right here is why I by simple t-shirts (also no pressure to dress up at all, because I can wear a Hawaiian print and slacks and that's suitable for business settings).
I mean I guess it depends on your business settings!
"Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
going through my closet (hey the baby was napping, might as well do what I was talking about, right?) and I find a dress that I wore to a friends wedding about 4 years ago. It's a size 20. I laugh and figure, 'no way in hell that's going to fit'. But I try it on and HEY it fits! Sweet! I have a nice formal looking short dress to wear!
Find another dress that I wore to a wedding 3 years ago. It's a size 24. Try it on. hahaha NOPE. So not fitting. Not even the slightest.
clothes. are. weird.
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
I have shirts that are 4xl that are tighter than the 2xl i'm wearing now
sizing is lol
Want to play co-op games? Feel free to hit me up!
I live in Honolulu, so... yes. There's some positions where you want a suit but believe me when I say they are few and far between.
That probably qualifies for 'I'm not going to miss this stuff, get rid of it'. One day, when I have shelves and cupboards, everything else will come out of boxes and be judged.