I was just cleaning out of my favourite drinking vessel and it occurred to me it was fitting for this thread. This is a 100% true story btw.
I used to work at a historic military fort, portraying a 19th century soldier and demonstrating and explaining aspects of history. (As an aside, after almost two years at a different historic site, portraying 18th century civilian life, I'll be moving in three days to a new job at a different historic military fort, portraying an 18th century soldier. I digress.)
Anyway, I got used to seeing my face on posters and billboards, I did a tv interview, etc. But possibly the oddest thing was when I was given a mug with a photo of several of us marching in formation. It never went on sale in our stores, I still don't know why it exists, it may have been a prototype, I don't know.
Anyway, pretty much immediately I said, and have many times since when showing it to people:
My mug is on a mug.
Just in case you didn't believe me.
I'm second from the right.
"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
We went to a Trunk or Treat thing for the kids tonight. I brought an inflatable T. Rex costume but because it was really fucking hot I also brought a big ol’ shark head to wear when I got sick of being enveloped from head to toe in plastic.
Once I made the switch to shark head, I also took great pleasure in meeting people with terrible puns.
“So where are you from?” “Finland.”
“Hey, do you know what time a shark’s teeth fall out?” “No...” “Tooth hurty.”
“Why is your costume just a shark head?” “Because every girl’s crazy ‘bout a shark-dressed man.”
I was just cleaning out of my favourite drinking vessel and it occurred to me it was fitting for this thread. This is a 100% true story btw.
I used to work at a historic military fort, portraying a 19th century soldier and demonstrating and explaining aspects of history. (As an aside, after almost two years at a different historic site, portraying 18th century civilian life, I'll be moving in three days to a new job at a different historic military fort, portraying an 18th century soldier. I digress.)
Anyway, I got used to seeing my face on posters and billboards, I did a tv interview, etc. But possibly the oddest thing was when I was given a mug with a photo of several of us marching in formation. It never went on sale in our stores, I still don't know why it exists, it may have been a prototype, I don't know.
Anyway, pretty much immediately I said, and have many times since when showing it to people:
My mug is on a mug.
Just in case you didn't believe me.
I'm second from the right.
So, what you're saying is that you've been mugged?
I was just cleaning out of my favourite drinking vessel and it occurred to me it was fitting for this thread. This is a 100% true story btw.
I used to work at a historic military fort, portraying a 19th century soldier and demonstrating and explaining aspects of history. (As an aside, after almost two years at a different historic site, portraying 18th century civilian life, I'll be moving in three days to a new job at a different historic military fort, portraying an 18th century soldier. I digress.)
Anyway, I got used to seeing my face on posters and billboards, I did a tv interview, etc. But possibly the oddest thing was when I was given a mug with a photo of several of us marching in formation. It never went on sale in our stores, I still don't know why it exists, it may have been a prototype, I don't know.
Anyway, pretty much immediately I said, and have many times since when showing it to people:
My mug is on a mug.
Just in case you didn't believe me.
I'm second from the right.
So, what you're saying is that you've been mugged?
Im pretty sure he was being facetious.
+1
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facetiousa wit so dryit shits sandRegistered Userregular
This morning my iceberg lettuce was frozen.
This is another true story.
"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
Munkus BeaverYou don't have to attend every argument you are invited to.Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPAregular
I think that's one of those jokes that has been around so long, no one knows who came up with it.
Maybe it was Dangerfield... he was around that long too.
+5
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Munkus BeaverYou don't have to attend every argument you are invited to.Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPAregular
I think that's one of those jokes that has been around so long, no one knows who came up with it.
Maybe it was Dangerfield... he was around that long too.
It had the Dangerfield cadence to it.
Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
According to what I can find on google, Tommy Lasorda is credited with spreading it in 1970, but he admits he did not coin it, and no one seems to know the trail beyond that.
I think that's one of those jokes that has been around so long, no one knows who came up with it.
Maybe it was Dangerfield... he was around that long too.
It had the Dangerfield cadence to it.
I'm pretty sure the first time I heard it was from Dangerfield in Back To School.
But I imagine it's a joke that's been around as long as "see" and "sea" have sounded the same and people have been dieting.
Lord_AsmodeusgoeticSobriquet:Here is your magical cryptic riddle-tumour: I AM A TIME MACHINERegistered Userregular
edited November 2017
So this isn't really a bad joke but it IS a bad joke story and I feel the need to tell everyone about it because I love puns.
So I was at my brothers for Thanksgiving and I was helping them clean up, a biscuit fell on the floor and I was eating it and my brother was eating a muffin. I'd been making terrible jokes all day and my brother's wife commented on how bad he was sometimes. I said to him, "Don't worry, I've got muffin on you" and he gave me a look, so I just shrugged and said "Sorry for all the puns, but I'm on a roll" and the look he gave me after that had me laughing so hard I couldn't stand up straight. I laughed for like 5 minutes straight. It was the single greatest reaction I've ever gotten and it absolutely made my day.
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Lord_Asmodeus on
Capital is only the fruit of labor, and could never have existed if Labor had not first existed. Labor is superior to capital, and deserves much the higher consideration. - Lincoln
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If only it were real, and someday published.
Just in case you didn't believe me.
I'm second from the right.
Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
Once I made the switch to shark head, I also took great pleasure in meeting people with terrible puns.
“So where are you from?” “Finland.”
“Hey, do you know what time a shark’s teeth fall out?” “No...” “Tooth hurty.”
“Why is your costume just a shark head?” “Because every girl’s crazy ‘bout a shark-dressed man.”
Tit-for-tat, I suppose.
Really you've just got to tell him that you're not emused.
Might get a little bit hawkward after that though.
I'm in parrotise right now.
Gesundheit.
So, what you're saying is that you've been mugged?
Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
I always thought it was a Rodney Dangerfield bit.
Maybe it was Dangerfield... he was around that long too.
It had the Dangerfield cadence to it.
I'm pretty sure the first time I heard it was from Dangerfield in Back To School.
But I imagine it's a joke that's been around as long as "see" and "sea" have sounded the same and people have been dieting.
-Indiana Solo, runner of blades
He was The Green Lantern, and Deadpool
does that make it a holy-owned subsidiary?
I think it is. Though AA frowns on holy spirits in meetings.
I think they got away from that in recent years. These days, they're pretty much a non-prophet organization.
So I was at my brothers for Thanksgiving and I was helping them clean up, a biscuit fell on the floor and I was eating it and my brother was eating a muffin. I'd been making terrible jokes all day and my brother's wife commented on how bad he was sometimes. I said to him, "Don't worry, I've got muffin on you" and he gave me a look, so I just shrugged and said "Sorry for all the puns, but I'm on a roll" and the look he gave me after that had me laughing so hard I couldn't stand up straight. I laughed for like 5 minutes straight. It was the single greatest reaction I've ever gotten and it absolutely made my day.
Worst Jokes Best Jokes
...be very careful in the bedroom
Or be like The Clash and just threaten trouble and/or making it double.
She must have been thinking about the Beastie Boys, because she let the beet drop.