Spring is here! I got so excited, I wet my plants.
What's the fastest liquid on earth?
Milk -- it's pasteurized before you even see it.
I dreamed last night that I drowned in an ocean of orange soda.
Turns out it was just a Fanta sea.
I'm terrified of elevators!
I've started taking steps to avoid them.
Now that's a site for sore eyes.
Doctor, doctor! I've broken my arm in several places!
Well, stop going to those places!
I spent $200 on one package of Velcro the other day.
What a rip-off.
Why does it take longer to get from 1st base to 2nd base than it does to get from 2nd to 3rd?
There's a shortstop in between.
What is Bruce Lee's favorite drink?
So I'm driving along and this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere...