i think it can be generally agreed upon that my intention was to suggest doobh be capable of shooting knives out of her mouth like a knife godzilla and we don't need further self-harm implications
+11
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mysticjuicer[he/him] I'm a muscle wizardand I cast P U N C HRegistered Userregular
i think it can be generally agreed upon that my intention was to suggest doobh be capable of shooting knives out of her mouth like a knife godzilla and we don't need further self-harm implications
does anybody here know what a soulknife is? because it's more like that
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i think it can be generally agreed upon that my intention was to suggest doobh be capable of shooting knives out of her mouth like a knife godzilla and we don't need further self-harm implications
does anybody here know what a soulknife is? because it's more like that
i think it can be generally agreed upon that my intention was to suggest doobh be capable of shooting knives out of her mouth like a knife godzilla and we don't need further self-harm implications
does anybody here know what a soulknife is? because it's more like that
I think my Hexblade could summon one but that was 4th ed.
i think it can be generally agreed upon that my intention was to suggest doobh be capable of shooting knives out of her mouth like a knife godzilla and we don't need further self-harm implications
does anybody here know what a soulknife is? because it's more like that
tomorrow the HR lady from california and the local HR lady are going to meet with me in order to discuss like...I don't even know, how to minimize disruption from the nature of my existence at work and what's the bare minimum required to keep me from suing them if my colleagues harass me
I am so displeased with this, but I don't want to quit my job and I do eventually want to be out at work when it makes sense visually, so I do need to make sure HR has a few months to figure out how they will force IT to change my usernames and stuff
I have enough savings I could live pretty comfortably without a job for the time it took me to physically transition, especially if I moved somewhere a little cheaper, but that would be a dumb thing to do with my savings and a dumb thing to do in the promising early stages of my career
But goddamn there are not many meetings I would less like to have
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Kane Red RobeMaster of MagicArcanusRegistered Userregular
tomorrow the HR lady from california and the local HR lady are going to meet with me in order to discuss like...I don't even know, how to minimize disruption from the nature of my existence at work and what's the bare minimum required to keep me from suing them if my colleagues harass me
I am so displeased with this, but I don't want to quit my job and I do eventually want to be out at work when it makes sense visually, so I do need to make sure HR has a few months to figure out how they will force IT to change my usernames and stuff
I have enough savings I could live pretty comfortably without a job for the time it took me to physically transition, especially if I moved somewhere a little cheaper, but that would be a dumb thing to do with my savings and a dumb thing to do in the promising early stages of my career
But goddamn there are not many meetings I would less like to have
I was thinking about this the other day and boy it would be nice if gender transition was covered under FMLA. Like, getting time off to get your shit together, both physically and mentally/emotionally then coming back with all the paperwork stuff already sorted (email/username, nameplate, etc). Of course this country can't even give new parents a reasonable amount of time off work when they have a baby so there's no way this would ever fly...
tomorrow the HR lady from california and the local HR lady are going to meet with me in order to discuss like...I don't even know, how to minimize disruption from the nature of my existence at work and what's the bare minimum required to keep me from suing them if my colleagues harass me
I am so displeased with this, but I don't want to quit my job and I do eventually want to be out at work when it makes sense visually, so I do need to make sure HR has a few months to figure out how they will force IT to change my usernames and stuff
I have enough savings I could live pretty comfortably without a job for the time it took me to physically transition, especially if I moved somewhere a little cheaper, but that would be a dumb thing to do with my savings and a dumb thing to do in the promising early stages of my career
But goddamn there are not many meetings I would less like to have
Hopefully it will be a productive meeting and it won't come to you having to leave your job.
The part I bolded bothers me a lot as a professional. As someone in IT, it's not hard at all to change a username and create a new primary SMTP address. If it's that big of a hassle for your IT people to do that they either suck at their job or just suck in general.
Artoria on
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MsAnthropyThe Lady of Pain Breaks the Rhythm, Breaks the Rhythm, Breaks the RhythmThe City of FlowersRegistered Userregular
tomorrow the HR lady from california and the local HR lady are going to meet with me in order to discuss like...I don't even know, how to minimize disruption from the nature of my existence at work and what's the bare minimum required to keep me from suing them if my colleagues harass me
I am so displeased with this, but I don't want to quit my job and I do eventually want to be out at work when it makes sense visually, so I do need to make sure HR has a few months to figure out how they will force IT to change my usernames and stuff
I have enough savings I could live pretty comfortably without a job for the time it took me to physically transition, especially if I moved somewhere a little cheaper, but that would be a dumb thing to do with my savings and a dumb thing to do in the promising early stages of my career
But goddamn there are not many meetings I would less like to have
Hopefully it will be a productive meeting and it won't come to you having to leave your job.
The part I bolded bothers me a lot as a professional. As someone in IT, it's not hard at all to change a username and create a new primary SMTP address. If it's that big of a hassle for your IT people to do that they either suck at their job or just suck in general.
IT departments do that kind of thing regularly due to marriages and divorces, too. It should not be a big deal. : /
tomorrow the HR lady from california and the local HR lady are going to meet with me in order to discuss like...I don't even know, how to minimize disruption from the nature of my existence at work and what's the bare minimum required to keep me from suing them if my colleagues harass me
I am so displeased with this, but I don't want to quit my job and I do eventually want to be out at work when it makes sense visually, so I do need to make sure HR has a few months to figure out how they will force IT to change my usernames and stuff
I have enough savings I could live pretty comfortably without a job for the time it took me to physically transition, especially if I moved somewhere a little cheaper, but that would be a dumb thing to do with my savings and a dumb thing to do in the promising early stages of my career
But goddamn there are not many meetings I would less like to have
My fingers are crossed for that all ending up hypothetical for you and everyone is mostly civil about it.
Does HRT make you more sensitive to cold air? My office keeps it pretty cool at all times but since starting treatment it feels like I'm freezing all the time now.
Does HRT make you more sensitive to cold air? My office keeps it pretty cool at all times but since starting treatment it feels like I'm freezing all the time now.
Blocking testosterone has this effect, yeah. I also had mild hot flashes before my E2 dose was high enough.
tomorrow the HR lady from california and the local HR lady are going to meet with me in order to discuss like...I don't even know, how to minimize disruption from the nature of my existence at work and what's the bare minimum required to keep me from suing them if my colleagues harass me
I am so displeased with this, but I don't want to quit my job and I do eventually want to be out at work when it makes sense visually, so I do need to make sure HR has a few months to figure out how they will force IT to change my usernames and stuff
I have enough savings I could live pretty comfortably without a job for the time it took me to physically transition, especially if I moved somewhere a little cheaper, but that would be a dumb thing to do with my savings and a dumb thing to do in the promising early stages of my career
But goddamn there are not many meetings I would less like to have
I was thinking about this the other day and boy it would be nice if gender transition was covered under FMLA. Like, getting time off to get your shit together, both physically and mentally/emotionally then coming back with all the paperwork stuff already sorted (email/username, nameplate, etc). Of course this country can't even give new parents a reasonable amount of time off work when they have a baby so there's no way this would ever fly...
I mean I'd love to but it'll take months to years and it's impossible to take that time off. I did take fmla to recover from top surgery a few months ago. Didn't tell my work what I was doing though, just gave them some doctor's forms which were rather unspecific about the nature of the medical necessity.
Except it's not actually financially impossible for me. I could quit, and I am pretty confident I could find an equally well-paying job after a hiatus. However, that's probably a maladjusted and panicked thought for me to have.
Nothing inherently wrong with transitioning on the job. Not my problem if they know my whole deal; not my problem if they take issue with it (...is what a reasonable, mentally-balanced person would think.)
And yeah no I'm not worried that IT wouldn't change stuff for me. And the guy in IA is my bro so getting my name changed on the isolated networks should also be pretty easy. It's more like, they probably need some process to just tell people that it's a thing.
And just stuff like, given the nebulous way people are and aren't assigned work in this company, what do I do if I have fuzzy suspicions people are discriminating against me or whatever. And like does my company have my back with respect to client interactions; what does that look like.
The problem is more just, I hate telling people what my deal is. They have no right to know that this is something I want; it's really none of their business. And that's demented, of course, like there is necessarily going to be a period where I have to express how I want to be called even though my appearance does not perfectly match that--I do have to in fact tell people this thing about myself. And I've already disclosed that to friends and family (but I hate doing so and I hate talking about it with anyone other than my closest confidants and I hate any commentary on it), and I am so very uninterested in putting myself in a position of vulnerability to these HR ladies who I do not particularly know.
It's really not great. Hard to focus on work when this is all going through my head all the time, not to mention the more personal fallout of the whole situation.
tomorrow the HR lady from california and the local HR lady are going to meet with me in order to discuss like...I don't even know, how to minimize disruption from the nature of my existence at work and what's the bare minimum required to keep me from suing them if my colleagues harass me
I am so displeased with this, but I don't want to quit my job and I do eventually want to be out at work when it makes sense visually, so I do need to make sure HR has a few months to figure out how they will force IT to change my usernames and stuff
I have enough savings I could live pretty comfortably without a job for the time it took me to physically transition, especially if I moved somewhere a little cheaper, but that would be a dumb thing to do with my savings and a dumb thing to do in the promising early stages of my career
But goddamn there are not many meetings I would less like to have
I was thinking about this the other day and boy it would be nice if gender transition was covered under FMLA. Like, getting time off to get your shit together, both physically and mentally/emotionally then coming back with all the paperwork stuff already sorted (email/username, nameplate, etc). Of course this country can't even give new parents a reasonable amount of time off work when they have a baby so there's no way this would ever fly...
I mean I'd love to but it'll take months to years and it's impossible to take that time off. I did take fmla to recover from top surgery a few months ago. Didn't tell my work what I was doing though, just gave them some doctor's forms which were rather unspecific about the nature of the medical necessity.
Except it's not actually financially impossible for me. I could quit, and I am pretty confident I could find an equally well-paying job after a hiatus. However, that's probably a maladjusted and panicked thought for me to have.
Nothing inherently wrong with transitioning on the job. Not my problem if they know my whole deal; not my problem if they take issue with it (...is what a reasonable, mentally-balanced person would think.)
And yeah no I'm not worried that IT wouldn't change stuff for me. And the guy in IA is my bro so getting my name changed on the isolated networks should also be pretty easy. It's more like, they probably need some process to just tell people that it's a thing.
And just stuff like, given the nebulous way people are and aren't assigned work in this company, what do I do if I have fuzzy suspicions people are discriminating against me or whatever. And like does my company have my back with respect to client interactions; what does that look like.
The problem is more just, I hate telling people what my deal is. They have no right to know that this is something I want; it's really none of their business. And that's demented, of course, like there is necessarily going to be a period where I have to express how I want to be called even though my appearance does not perfectly match that--I do have to in fact tell people this thing about myself. And I've already disclosed that to friends and family (but I hate doing so and I hate talking about it with anyone other than my closest confidants and I hate any commentary on it), and I am so very uninterested in putting myself in a position of vulnerability to these HR ladies who I do not particularly know.
It's really not great. Hard to focus on work when this is all going through my head all the time, not to mention the more personal fallout of the whole situation.
It's a tough conundrum and one I've been thinking about a lot too. At some point I definitely want to be called Lexi at work, but I very much dread having the conversations where I tell people about it. It's an uncomfortable thing to talk about with people who don't understand.
I dunno, some IT departments have jokers running the joint, but I can also think of situations where updating a username is not just updating a username.
I have been with my current job for 3.5 years, but decided to make a career change of it. I left the job on good terms, no bridges burned, was on a "re-hire" list if things didn't work out with my new job.
Things did not work out with my new job. I was back at my old employer (now current) within 3 months, however, I was under a new role that was different than the one I left.
As a result, there was a Renaissance Painter, and a Ninja Turtle* in the system. Promotions within the company should not normally cause these kinds of problems. It should not be hard to take UserX in RoleX to be UserX in RoleY.
They took 2 months to get my IDs set up correctly and access to all of the programs I needed to perform in my new role because the system kept getting confused with the Painter when I was now a Ninja. Additionally, the department I was hired for needed additional licenses of programs because the Painter-me had access to different things that the Ninja-me wouldn't need, but other things that Ninja-me would.
Again, jokers sometimes work in IT. Really inept, went to Clown University, jokers.
Well in the case of just a name change it's not hard at all. One of my co-workers was put in under his formal first name, but goes exclusively by a shortened version of the name and all it took was an email to get it changed. If you're on Active Directory, it's just a matter of updating a few fields and adding an alias for the old address to make sure you still get all your mail.
tomorrow the HR lady from california and the local HR lady are going to meet with me in order to discuss like...I don't even know, how to minimize disruption from the nature of my existence at work and what's the bare minimum required to keep me from suing them if my colleagues harass me
I am so displeased with this, but I don't want to quit my job and I do eventually want to be out at work when it makes sense visually, so I do need to make sure HR has a few months to figure out how they will force IT to change my usernames and stuff
I have enough savings I could live pretty comfortably without a job for the time it took me to physically transition, especially if I moved somewhere a little cheaper, but that would be a dumb thing to do with my savings and a dumb thing to do in the promising early stages of my career
But goddamn there are not many meetings I would less like to have
I was thinking about this the other day and boy it would be nice if gender transition was covered under FMLA. Like, getting time off to get your shit together, both physically and mentally/emotionally then coming back with all the paperwork stuff already sorted (email/username, nameplate, etc). Of course this country can't even give new parents a reasonable amount of time off work when they have a baby so there's no way this would ever fly...
I mean I'd love to but it'll take months to years and it's impossible to take that time off. I did take fmla to recover from top surgery a few months ago. Didn't tell my work what I was doing though, just gave them some doctor's forms which were rather unspecific about the nature of the medical necessity.
Except it's not actually financially impossible for me. I could quit, and I am pretty confident I could find an equally well-paying job after a hiatus. However, that's probably a maladjusted and panicked thought for me to have.
Nothing inherently wrong with transitioning on the job. Not my problem if they know my whole deal; not my problem if they take issue with it (...is what a reasonable, mentally-balanced person would think.)
And yeah no I'm not worried that IT wouldn't change stuff for me. And the guy in IA is my bro so getting my name changed on the isolated networks should also be pretty easy. It's more like, they probably need some process to just tell people that it's a thing.
And just stuff like, given the nebulous way people are and aren't assigned work in this company, what do I do if I have fuzzy suspicions people are discriminating against me or whatever. And like does my company have my back with respect to client interactions; what does that look like.
The problem is more just, I hate telling people what my deal is. They have no right to know that this is something I want; it's really none of their business. And that's demented, of course, like there is necessarily going to be a period where I have to express how I want to be called even though my appearance does not perfectly match that--I do have to in fact tell people this thing about myself. And I've already disclosed that to friends and family (but I hate doing so and I hate talking about it with anyone other than my closest confidants and I hate any commentary on it), and I am so very uninterested in putting myself in a position of vulnerability to these HR ladies who I do not particularly know.
It's really not great. Hard to focus on work when this is all going through my head all the time, not to mention the more personal fallout of the whole situation.
It's a tough conundrum and one I've been thinking about a lot too. At some point I definitely want to be called Lexi at work, but I very much dread having the conversations where I tell people about it. It's an uncomfortable thing to talk about with people who don't understand.
Yeah I don't know. My own goddamn name isn't going to feel particularly real or natural to me until I actually use it at work and stop having to sign my emails as/answer to my other name. But actually making that happen is going to be extremely unpleasant. Not because I'll get blowback (I think I will, but honestly I'd rather confront someone else's hostility than my own internal self-directed discomfort. I don't mind conflict with others.) but because of my own discomfort with letting other people know this thing about me.
Man I really don't know if I should go and get these blood tests for hormones until I can stop thinking of this with so much negativity. Probably should work on my mindset first.
It's different for everyone, but personally, starting HRT has done a lot for my mindset. The knowledge that I'm physical doing something about this, taking a tangible step forward, has been a real driving factor for me. The social transition for me is a slow process of gradually pushing my boundaries, HRT is like a baseline for that progress--even when I feel like I'm not making tangible changes in my day-to-day life I know I've still got something moving me toward my goal.
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Garlic Breadi'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm aRegistered User, Disagreeableregular
WHY IS MAKEUP SO HARD TO DO
+13
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HenroidMexican kicked from Immigration ThreadCentrism is Racism :3Registered Userregular
AthenorBattle Hardened OptimistThe Skies of HiigaraRegistered Userregular
Hi thread!
So I've spent the last 2 hours reading from about page 40. It's been a rollercoaster of emotions, mostly positive, and feeling happy for people I may know in passing.
It started because I saw what I thought was a new mod, then digging a bit and finding that was not the case, and wanting to make sure I used the right pronouns going forward once I figured out where that information might be. I've also noticed a marked uptick in name changes on the forums lately, and finding out the reason has been awesome.
i think it can be generally agreed upon that my intention was to suggest doobh be capable of shooting knives out of her mouth like a knife godzilla and we don't need further self-harm implications
I'm really sorry for that, I wasn't really thinking. Picture has been removed.
Though I must admit I have no clue how your post was supposed to imply THAT, of all things.
Goatmon on
Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204
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Erin The RedThe Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMABaton Rouge, LARegistered Userregular
that meeting with hr was stressful and now I don't want to work
the overall theme was something like, how do we manage the communication around this. HR didn't seem to have a firm agenda exactly and was largely asking me.
And like, do I have resources I recommend that they have on hand for people who have questions.
No; that's your job.
And how will I handle coming out eventually
idk I'll send a group email or something.
What does your 'transition team' have to say about that.
What transition team?
Oh you know, therapists, support system, etc
no yeah I don't have that so. Can we just keep this low key please.
You seem really lonely and no one should do this difficult thing alone.
god damn that is pretty inappropriate for you to say (I did not say as much, just thought it). Kind of disturbing that I come off as that embittered/isolated/lost/? in this impersonal professional interaction where I thought I was just being neutral and matter of fact. I mean excuse me for not smiling about it I guess.
They're really very concerned that people will come to them with questions and concerns and complaints and are prepping for that more than anything. I know that's true and that's their job but I hate hearing it. Hey we're preparing for when people inevitably have complaints about your existence. Fuck, all right, but, man, I don't know, can we maintain the polite fiction that you're here as my advocates, and maybe you later discuss between yourselves what you'll do when people have complaints, instead of putting that on me?
How is it possible to actually accomplish anything productive when you start your day with something like this. Got a deadline on tuesday though so...need to pull myself together
I've been warned that many HR people look to the person transitioning for cues on how things should go, but... that's them just being bad at their job.
Curly_Brace on
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GrogMy sword is only steelin a useful shape.Registered Userregular
So disappointing. You'd have thought they'd do their research, then confirm details of what you want.
Also, lmao 'transition team'. "Yes, let me consult my entourage on how best to deal with your bullshit. Hm, yes, mhm. The team says do your goddamn job properly."
+15
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MsAnthropyThe Lady of Pain Breaks the Rhythm, Breaks the Rhythm, Breaks the RhythmThe City of FlowersRegistered Userregular
So disappointing. You'd have thought they'd do their research, then confirm details of what you want.
Also, lmao 'transition team'. "Yes, let me consult my entourage on how best to deal with your bullshit. Hm, yes, mhm. The team says do your goddamn job properly."
Yeaaah. “My team suggests you try typing your questions into something called ‘the Googles’. They also wonder how you react to men complaining about women being present in the workplace and how you respond to the concerns of racial segregationists...”
So disappointing. You'd have thought they'd do their research, then confirm details of what you want.
Also, lmao 'transition team'. "Yes, let me consult my entourage on how best to deal with your bullshit. Hm, yes, mhm. The team says do your goddamn job properly."
Yeaaah. “My team suggests you try typing your questions into something called ‘the Googles’. They also wonder how you react to men complaining about women being present in the workplace and how you respond to the concerns of racial segregationists...”
Yeah I mean I think she was trying to offload some of the work or thinking, like hope I had a social worker(?) or someone who had come up with the optimal coming out strategy and attitude for me. Man, I don't even have a therapist cause I don't like the one available through my insurance all that much (and frankly it's pretty clear to me without outside intervention what I need to do to work on my attitude.) I mean I think there are people with transition teams, maybe people with a lot of intersecting issues who have a social worker or psychiatrist or even just support group but yeah that isn't me.
I said, if people have questions, they should google it, yeah, and that I'd be a bit mistrustful of official corporate 'resources' on the topic.
Lol my workplace is pretty iffy about women so that's not a good guideline. The technical staff is pretty much all male, almost all white. The younger scientist I work with (half-asian, female) gets treated in a way that is always slightly off and I try my best to like amplify her work and praise her to other people etc but there's not all that much I can do to help her other than that. One person--a woman on the security team who only started working here last year--brought a same sex partner to the christmas party. No one did the year before.
Defense contracting in DC :rotate:
I didn't want to make it into a hostile/confrontational/snarky thing because I need these people on my side in case of any discrimination in the future. I usually respond to embarrassment with hostility but I'm actually pretty good at suppressing that instinct in the workplace because I do have some modicum of control over my feelings and actions, and recognize when such a response would be inappropriate (...I am pretttttty worried that going on T will erode some of that hard-earned anger-management. We'll see)
I made it clear I wanted to keep it all extremely low key so hopefully they'll respect that.
Just went to lunch and vented to it about my work friend and he's like 'yeahhhhhhh honestly I expected worse from hr', and I'm kinda like...yeah, true. Lunch was pretty good and weather's nice enough provided you can go back to air conditioning afterwards, so all right.
Posts
does anybody here know what a soulknife is? because it's more like that
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
I love Psylocke
I think my Hexblade could summon one but that was 4th ed.
I love Magik
I am so displeased with this, but I don't want to quit my job and I do eventually want to be out at work when it makes sense visually, so I do need to make sure HR has a few months to figure out how they will force IT to change my usernames and stuff
I have enough savings I could live pretty comfortably without a job for the time it took me to physically transition, especially if I moved somewhere a little cheaper, but that would be a dumb thing to do with my savings and a dumb thing to do in the promising early stages of my career
But goddamn there are not many meetings I would less like to have
I was thinking about this the other day and boy it would be nice if gender transition was covered under FMLA. Like, getting time off to get your shit together, both physically and mentally/emotionally then coming back with all the paperwork stuff already sorted (email/username, nameplate, etc). Of course this country can't even give new parents a reasonable amount of time off work when they have a baby so there's no way this would ever fly...
Hopefully it will be a productive meeting and it won't come to you having to leave your job.
The part I bolded bothers me a lot as a professional. As someone in IT, it's not hard at all to change a username and create a new primary SMTP address. If it's that big of a hassle for your IT people to do that they either suck at their job or just suck in general.
IT departments do that kind of thing regularly due to marriages and divorces, too. It should not be a big deal. : /
"The only real politics I knew was that if a guy liked Hitler, I’d beat the stuffing out of him and that would be it." -- Jack Kirby
My fingers are crossed for that all ending up hypothetical for you and everyone is mostly civil about it.
Blocking testosterone has this effect, yeah. I also had mild hot flashes before my E2 dose was high enough.
I mean I'd love to but it'll take months to years and it's impossible to take that time off. I did take fmla to recover from top surgery a few months ago. Didn't tell my work what I was doing though, just gave them some doctor's forms which were rather unspecific about the nature of the medical necessity.
Except it's not actually financially impossible for me. I could quit, and I am pretty confident I could find an equally well-paying job after a hiatus. However, that's probably a maladjusted and panicked thought for me to have.
Nothing inherently wrong with transitioning on the job. Not my problem if they know my whole deal; not my problem if they take issue with it (...is what a reasonable, mentally-balanced person would think.)
And yeah no I'm not worried that IT wouldn't change stuff for me. And the guy in IA is my bro so getting my name changed on the isolated networks should also be pretty easy. It's more like, they probably need some process to just tell people that it's a thing.
And just stuff like, given the nebulous way people are and aren't assigned work in this company, what do I do if I have fuzzy suspicions people are discriminating against me or whatever. And like does my company have my back with respect to client interactions; what does that look like.
The problem is more just, I hate telling people what my deal is. They have no right to know that this is something I want; it's really none of their business. And that's demented, of course, like there is necessarily going to be a period where I have to express how I want to be called even though my appearance does not perfectly match that--I do have to in fact tell people this thing about myself. And I've already disclosed that to friends and family (but I hate doing so and I hate talking about it with anyone other than my closest confidants and I hate any commentary on it), and I am so very uninterested in putting myself in a position of vulnerability to these HR ladies who I do not particularly know.
It's really not great. Hard to focus on work when this is all going through my head all the time, not to mention the more personal fallout of the whole situation.
It's a tough conundrum and one I've been thinking about a lot too. At some point I definitely want to be called Lexi at work, but I very much dread having the conversations where I tell people about it. It's an uncomfortable thing to talk about with people who don't understand.
I have been with my current job for 3.5 years, but decided to make a career change of it. I left the job on good terms, no bridges burned, was on a "re-hire" list if things didn't work out with my new job.
Things did not work out with my new job. I was back at my old employer (now current) within 3 months, however, I was under a new role that was different than the one I left.
As a result, there was a Renaissance Painter, and a Ninja Turtle* in the system. Promotions within the company should not normally cause these kinds of problems. It should not be hard to take UserX in RoleX to be UserX in RoleY.
They took 2 months to get my IDs set up correctly and access to all of the programs I needed to perform in my new role because the system kept getting confused with the Painter when I was now a Ninja. Additionally, the department I was hired for needed additional licenses of programs because the Painter-me had access to different things that the Ninja-me wouldn't need, but other things that Ninja-me would.
Again, jokers sometimes work in IT. Really inept, went to Clown University, jokers.
*Yes, I'm having fun with my name here.
Steam: TheArcadeBear
Yeah I don't know. My own goddamn name isn't going to feel particularly real or natural to me until I actually use it at work and stop having to sign my emails as/answer to my other name. But actually making that happen is going to be extremely unpleasant. Not because I'll get blowback (I think I will, but honestly I'd rather confront someone else's hostility than my own internal self-directed discomfort. I don't mind conflict with others.) but because of my own discomfort with letting other people know this thing about me.
Man I really don't know if I should go and get these blood tests for hormones until I can stop thinking of this with so much negativity. Probably should work on my mindset first.
So I've spent the last 2 hours reading from about page 40. It's been a rollercoaster of emotions, mostly positive, and feeling happy for people I may know in passing.
It started because I saw what I thought was a new mod, then digging a bit and finding that was not the case, and wanting to make sure I used the right pronouns going forward once I figured out where that information might be. I've also noticed a marked uptick in name changes on the forums lately, and finding out the reason has been awesome.
I'm really sorry for that, I wasn't really thinking. Picture has been removed.
Though I must admit I have no clue how your post was supposed to imply THAT, of all things.
the overall theme was something like, how do we manage the communication around this. HR didn't seem to have a firm agenda exactly and was largely asking me.
And like, do I have resources I recommend that they have on hand for people who have questions.
No; that's your job.
And how will I handle coming out eventually
idk I'll send a group email or something.
What does your 'transition team' have to say about that.
What transition team?
Oh you know, therapists, support system, etc
no yeah I don't have that so. Can we just keep this low key please.
You seem really lonely and no one should do this difficult thing alone.
god damn that is pretty inappropriate for you to say (I did not say as much, just thought it). Kind of disturbing that I come off as that embittered/isolated/lost/? in this impersonal professional interaction where I thought I was just being neutral and matter of fact. I mean excuse me for not smiling about it I guess.
They're really very concerned that people will come to them with questions and concerns and complaints and are prepping for that more than anything. I know that's true and that's their job but I hate hearing it. Hey we're preparing for when people inevitably have complaints about your existence. Fuck, all right, but, man, I don't know, can we maintain the polite fiction that you're here as my advocates, and maybe you later discuss between yourselves what you'll do when people have complaints, instead of putting that on me?
How is it possible to actually accomplish anything productive when you start your day with something like this. Got a deadline on tuesday though so...need to pull myself together
Also, lmao 'transition team'. "Yes, let me consult my entourage on how best to deal with your bullshit. Hm, yes, mhm. The team says do your goddamn job properly."
Yeaaah. “My team suggests you try typing your questions into something called ‘the Googles’. They also wonder how you react to men complaining about women being present in the workplace and how you respond to the concerns of racial segregationists...”
"The only real politics I knew was that if a guy liked Hitler, I’d beat the stuffing out of him and that would be it." -- Jack Kirby
Yeah I mean I think she was trying to offload some of the work or thinking, like hope I had a social worker(?) or someone who had come up with the optimal coming out strategy and attitude for me. Man, I don't even have a therapist cause I don't like the one available through my insurance all that much (and frankly it's pretty clear to me without outside intervention what I need to do to work on my attitude.) I mean I think there are people with transition teams, maybe people with a lot of intersecting issues who have a social worker or psychiatrist or even just support group but yeah that isn't me.
I said, if people have questions, they should google it, yeah, and that I'd be a bit mistrustful of official corporate 'resources' on the topic.
Lol my workplace is pretty iffy about women so that's not a good guideline. The technical staff is pretty much all male, almost all white. The younger scientist I work with (half-asian, female) gets treated in a way that is always slightly off and I try my best to like amplify her work and praise her to other people etc but there's not all that much I can do to help her other than that. One person--a woman on the security team who only started working here last year--brought a same sex partner to the christmas party. No one did the year before.
Defense contracting in DC :rotate:
I didn't want to make it into a hostile/confrontational/snarky thing because I need these people on my side in case of any discrimination in the future. I usually respond to embarrassment with hostility but I'm actually pretty good at suppressing that instinct in the workplace because I do have some modicum of control over my feelings and actions, and recognize when such a response would be inappropriate (...I am pretttttty worried that going on T will erode some of that hard-earned anger-management. We'll see)
I made it clear I wanted to keep it all extremely low key so hopefully they'll respect that.
Just went to lunch and vented to it about my work friend and he's like 'yeahhhhhhh honestly I expected worse from hr', and I'm kinda like...yeah, true. Lunch was pretty good and weather's nice enough provided you can go back to air conditioning afterwards, so all right.
I'm honestly kinda giggling at that.
this response makes me angry because it seems like it's making light of a situation I found very upsetting and still do
If HR was a spice, it'd be flour. If it was a book, it'd be two books.
Pralines and dick is delicious though.