For describing my own deal, I treat Bi and Pan as interchangeable, and use whichever one I think is going to be less of a hassle with the particular audience I'm talking to. I favor Bi slightly, because it's the one that has some mainstream currency. Also because I've grown numb to the standard array of shitty Bisexual jokes, but the stock Pansexual joke is an immediate accusation of bestiality, and I will punch someone right in the goddamn mouth, I swear.
If anyone ever gives you a hassle about Bi vs. Pan in your own usage, be cautious of that person's agenda. In my experience, there's been a pretty consistent overlap between the Prescriptive Language Police and TERFs, trying to subtly poison the lexicon as another way they can carve trans and nonbinary people out of the community. A definition of Bi as only liking the two 'traditional' poles of the gender binary feels like their kind of Ministry of Truth nonsense, and from there it's a short 'logical' jump to argue that only Cis people 'really count' as either. I suspect that most Bi people in early stages of figuring themselves out probably haven't even considered the question of attraction to nonbinary or trans people, so they don't need a dictionary definition with a hard No maliciously encoded into it.
Realizing lately that I don't really trust or respect basically any of the moderators here. So, good luck with life, friends! Hit me up on Twitter @DesertLeviathan
Last night a friend invited me to a twitch stream run by an artist she likes and I gave into the urge to buy a pic. I was so taken with ideas that I got something to commemorate my first Pride Month in the LGBTQ+ community ^u^ The whole idea of the pic is me embracing my true self via my fursona over at furaffinity. :> And when I posted it there, it was my first time publicly coming out anywhere but here (save for random slips of the tongue and/or chit chat during a picarto stream). And I mean, it's kind of big because I've been posting at FA for over 10 years now. Holy shit my 10th year anniversary at FA was just late last month lol time flies when you're a horrible ball of stress and depression, I guess XD
Last night a friend invited me to a twitch stream run by an artist she likes and I gave into the urge to buy a pic. I was so taken with ideas that I got something to commemorate my first Pride Month in the LGBTQ+ community ^u^ The whole idea of the pic is me embracing my true self via my fursona over at furaffinity. :> And when I posted it there, it was my first time publicly coming out anywhere but here (save for random slips of the tongue and/or chit chat during a picarto stream). And I mean, it's kind of big because I've been posting at FA for over 10 years now. Holy shit my 10th year anniversary at FA was just late last month lol time flies when you're a horrible ball of stress and depression, I guess XD
Last night a friend invited me to a twitch stream run by an artist she likes and I gave into the urge to buy a pic. I was so taken with ideas that I got something to commemorate my first Pride Month in the LGBTQ+ community ^u^ The whole idea of the pic is me embracing my true self via my fursona over at furaffinity. :> And when I posted it there, it was my first time publicly coming out anywhere but here (save for random slips of the tongue and/or chit chat during a picarto stream). And I mean, it's kind of big because I've been posting at FA for over 10 years now. Holy shit my 10th year anniversary at FA was just late last month lol time flies when you're a horrible ball of stress and depression, I guess XD
I also did a double-take seeing the name, for some reason wasn't expecting a different username, hah.
Yeah ^^;; it's an oooooooooold account. I'd move to a new one (due to the inability to change my username) but rebuilding my audience would be near impossible and I need it to be that big for my money to keep coming in XD
+1
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Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
Closeted transmasc logic: wearing a binder because you want a flat chest, but also wearing a baggy hoody so nobody can tell you have a flat chest :rotate:
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mysticjuicer[he/him] I'm a muscle wizardand I cast P U N C HRegistered Userregular
Got a call from my mom this morning before work, and thought "wow, she felt inspired to call me on day one of Pride Month, maybe it's time to finally have this conversation." But it turns out that my stepdad is going in for emergency surgery (gastrointestinal blockage, uncertain source, hard to say what the long-term impact is until they actually get in there and see what the hell it is), and given that my mom suffers from some of the worst anxiety attacks that I've ever witnessed, I decided today was not actually the day to stress her out any more.
So I put it all out on social media in front of a bunch of people who don't care or already knew instead.
(twitter post of my bigass beard removed)
Stepdad's surgery kept getting delayed, finally happened today, stepdad got out about half an hour ago and everything seems to have gone well.
Realizing lately that I don't really trust or respect basically any of the moderators here. So, good luck with life, friends! Hit me up on Twitter @DesertLeviathan
+32
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Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
edited June 2018
Woken up to more doubts this morning. Feeling like transitioning is so much effort and will cause so many problems, and maybe I can just tolerate staying this way for the rest of my life. How big an improvement can it really be.
I think hiding everything is messing with my head. Hopefully when I'm back home in a few weeks I can find some trans friendly places I can be out and it will stop feeling like this stuff only exists in my own mind.
Woken up to more doubts this morning. Feeling like transitioning is so much effort and will cause so many problems, and maybe I can just tolerate staying this way for the rest of my life. How big an improvement can it really be.
I think hiding everything is messing with my head. Hopefully when I'm back home in a few weeks I can find some trans friendly places I can be out and it will stop feeling like this stuff only exists in my own mind.
This is a really common thing among trans people I've talked to so just let me assure you: it's a huge improvement and tolerating misery is no way to live.
Woken up to more doubts this morning. Feeling like transitioning is so much effort and will cause so many problems, and maybe I can just tolerate staying this way for the rest of my life. How big an improvement can it really be.
I think hiding everything is messing with my head. Hopefully when I'm back home in a few weeks I can find some trans friendly places I can be out and it will stop feeling like this stuff only exists in my own mind.
You have a supportive family and supportive friends which is a huge ++++
I know the feeling of everything just being inside one's own head, it's paralyzing
Woken up to more doubts this morning. Feeling like transitioning is so much effort and will cause so many problems, and maybe I can just tolerate staying this way for the rest of my life. How big an improvement can it really be.
I think hiding everything is messing with my head. Hopefully when I'm back home in a few weeks I can find some trans friendly places I can be out and it will stop feeling like this stuff only exists in my own mind.
Gross metaphor involving bugs warning:
I like to think of dysphoria as a pile of garbage in my living room, with a lot of roaches living under it. It feels embarrassing to admit (thanks, transphobia) and it'll be expensive to fully clean up (thanks, privatized medicine), and I hate roaches and have no idea how many are living under there, but the pile was getting bigger and more rotten every year and that's just no way to live. And at first I was dealing with the garbage and the roaches, and it was awful - it felt worse than just leaving the pile alone. But now that the garbage is mostly gone, and the roaches are either dead or scattered, I can actually breathe and live like a normal person. I'll probably still be finding roaches for the rest of my life, but they'll be few and far between.
It's hard, but it's mostly hard up front and gets easier.
Woken up to more doubts this morning. Feeling like transitioning is so much effort and will cause so many problems, and maybe I can just tolerate staying this way for the rest of my life. How big an improvement can it really be.
I have a friend who I'd literally never seen smile before he came out as trans.
Woken up to more doubts this morning. Feeling like transitioning is so much effort and will cause so many problems, and maybe I can just tolerate staying this way for the rest of my life. How big an improvement can it really be.
I think hiding everything is messing with my head. Hopefully when I'm back home in a few weeks I can find some trans friendly places I can be out and it will stop feeling like this stuff only exists in my own mind.
Something that I'm keeping in mind, as I've spent a lot of time asking my husband if I could take this back so we could stay together, is that he's like 'the thing is no one ever takes this back permanently; that's not how being trans works. You don't actually see people do that; you just see people making themselves miserable for a bit until something breaks through again. So I wouldn't believe you if you did.'
And although that's horribly negatively emotionally inflected, I also think it's probably true, that once you've started going down this path you probably won't be at ease with not progressing down it some more. So while there is some comfort in telling yourself, ok, I can take this back at any point, it's also like, yeah but can you though? Do you actually want to? Or are you just going to think about it all the time until you do something about it anyway?
Steam, LoL: credeiki
+6
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GrogMy sword is only steelin a useful shape.Registered Userregular
Woken up to more doubts this morning. Feeling like transitioning is so much effort and will cause so many problems, and maybe I can just tolerate staying this way for the rest of my life. How big an improvement can it really be.
I think hiding everything is messing with my head. Hopefully when I'm back home in a few weeks I can find some trans friendly places I can be out and it will stop feeling like this stuff only exists in my own mind.
At this stage that's a natural feeling, given that you're not experiencing the full effect, as it were, of being out. It's your brain going into overdrive thinking about the complexities and uncertainties and erring heavily on the side of caution and inertia.
Problem is, that's a short term view (shorter term than you think) and it's not factoring the actually wanting to live life effect that being out gave me.
Woken up to more doubts this morning. Feeling like transitioning is so much effort and will cause so many problems, and maybe I can just tolerate staying this way for the rest of my life. How big an improvement can it really be.
I think hiding everything is messing with my head. Hopefully when I'm back home in a few weeks I can find some trans friendly places I can be out and it will stop feeling like this stuff only exists in my own mind.
This is definitely a mood I get as well, and I think you're right that hiding stuff contributes to it. I get trapped thinking "I pretend to be a dude at work everyday so clearly it's not that big a deal" without considering how often I dread going in or how quickly I abandon those clothes when I get home. I think in addition to what others are saying it's a side-effect of the coping mechanisms we employ to stay hidden in places we aren't ready or able to come out. Repression, even necessarily knowing repression, really fucks you up.
+3
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Erin The RedThe Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMABaton Rouge, LARegistered Userregular
Woken up to more doubts this morning. Feeling like transitioning is so much effort and will cause so many problems, and maybe I can just tolerate staying this way for the rest of my life. How big an improvement can it really be.
I think hiding everything is messing with my head. Hopefully when I'm back home in a few weeks I can find some trans friendly places I can be out and it will stop feeling like this stuff only exists in my own mind.
I can't speak to this experience directly, but from all of the folks I know who have done it, I can say it's absolutely worth doing. It's not all positive (Duh) but the upsides far outweigh the downs.
Woken up to more doubts this morning. Feeling like transitioning is so much effort and will cause so many problems, and maybe I can just tolerate staying this way for the rest of my life. How big an improvement can it really be.
I think hiding everything is messing with my head. Hopefully when I'm back home in a few weeks I can find some trans friendly places I can be out and it will stop feeling like this stuff only exists in my own mind.
I can't speak to this experience directly, but from all of the folks I know who have done it, I can say it's absolutely worth doing. It's not all positive (Duh) but the upsides far outweigh the downs.
that's really going to depend on the person; I'm sure it's not universally true. Kinda depends what you're losing as a consequence and how bad or not it was before. I think the main point is more that regardless of whether it's causing a good outcome or a bad outcome, it's probably going to happen now that pandora's box is open.
credeiki on
Steam, LoL: credeiki
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GrogMy sword is only steelin a useful shape.Registered Userregular
Woken up to more doubts this morning. Feeling like transitioning is so much effort and will cause so many problems, and maybe I can just tolerate staying this way for the rest of my life. How big an improvement can it really be.
I think hiding everything is messing with my head. Hopefully when I'm back home in a few weeks I can find some trans friendly places I can be out and it will stop feeling like this stuff only exists in my own mind.
I can't speak to this experience directly, but from all of the folks I know who have done it, I can say it's absolutely worth doing. It's not all positive (Duh) but the upsides far outweigh the downs.
that's really going to depend on the person; I'm sure it's not universally true. Kinda depends what you're losing as a consequence and how bad or not it was before. I think the main point is more that regardless of whether it's causing a good outcome or a bad outcome, it's probably going to happen now that pandora's box is open.
Well yeah, of course. There are no absolutes, and not everyone has an accommodating family or a safe workplace.
Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204
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mysticjuicer[he/him] I'm a muscle wizardand I cast P U N C HRegistered Userregular
Sadly I picked a too-dark blue and green, or too-bright everything else, so it only looks good using colour adjustment and in the right lighting, so I ended up just redoing my nails in green after taking the pic.
Need to find pastel ROYGB somewhere and do it right.
Sadly I picked a too-dark blue and green, or too-bright everything else, so it only looks good using colour adjustment and in the right lighting, so I ended up just redoing my nails in green after taking the pic.
Need to find pastel ROYGB somewhere and do it right.
Posts
It more or less reflects what most folks have already said
Source
Steam ID - VeldrinD | SS Post | Wishlist
I just don't want to stick my foot in my mouth like usual.
I think for me, for now, bi is well I am.
Although I'm sure the hetero marriage with kid would cause more headaches for others than which word I used.
Thank you for your help, my friends.
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
If anyone ever gives you a hassle about Bi vs. Pan in your own usage, be cautious of that person's agenda. In my experience, there's been a pretty consistent overlap between the Prescriptive Language Police and TERFs, trying to subtly poison the lexicon as another way they can carve trans and nonbinary people out of the community. A definition of Bi as only liking the two 'traditional' poles of the gender binary feels like their kind of Ministry of Truth nonsense, and from there it's a short 'logical' jump to argue that only Cis people 'really count' as either. I suspect that most Bi people in early stages of figuring themselves out probably haven't even considered the question of attraction to nonbinary or trans people, so they don't need a dictionary definition with a hard No maliciously encoded into it.
International House of Bi/Pan
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
Last night a friend invited me to a twitch stream run by an artist she likes and I gave into the urge to buy a pic. I was so taken with ideas that I got something to commemorate my first Pride Month in the LGBTQ+ community ^u^ The whole idea of the pic is me embracing my true self via my fursona over at furaffinity. :> And when I posted it there, it was my first time publicly coming out anywhere but here (save for random slips of the tongue and/or chit chat during a picarto stream). And I mean, it's kind of big because I've been posting at FA for over 10 years now. Holy shit my 10th year anniversary at FA was just late last month lol time flies when you're a horrible ball of stress and depression, I guess XD
Anyway, I hope you enjoy~!
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/27551370/
Yay!
I also did a double-take seeing the name, for some reason wasn't expecting a different username, hah.
Yeah ^^;; it's an oooooooooold account. I'd move to a new one (due to the inability to change my username) but rebuilding my audience would be near impossible and I need it to be that big for my money to keep coming in XD
remember that you don't owe shit to folk who wish harm on you and yours
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
with knives
Wait no that can be disastrously misinterpreted
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
HUGE mood
ineedmayo.com Eidolon Journal Updated
spoiler huge
While I admit I don't recognize some of them, they're all lovely.
A list of things, should you be of the gifting persuasion
Stepdad's surgery kept getting delayed, finally happened today, stepdad got out about half an hour ago and everything seems to have gone well.
I think hiding everything is messing with my head. Hopefully when I'm back home in a few weeks I can find some trans friendly places I can be out and it will stop feeling like this stuff only exists in my own mind.
Here ya go! http://umberarts.tumblr.com/post/174584036299
This is a really common thing among trans people I've talked to so just let me assure you: it's a huge improvement and tolerating misery is no way to live.
ineedmayo.com Eidolon Journal Updated
You have a supportive family and supportive friends which is a huge ++++
I know the feeling of everything just being inside one's own head, it's paralyzing
Gross metaphor involving bugs warning:
It's hard, but it's mostly hard up front and gets easier.
I have a friend who I'd literally never seen smile before he came out as trans.
Something that I'm keeping in mind, as I've spent a lot of time asking my husband if I could take this back so we could stay together, is that he's like 'the thing is no one ever takes this back permanently; that's not how being trans works. You don't actually see people do that; you just see people making themselves miserable for a bit until something breaks through again. So I wouldn't believe you if you did.'
And although that's horribly negatively emotionally inflected, I also think it's probably true, that once you've started going down this path you probably won't be at ease with not progressing down it some more. So while there is some comfort in telling yourself, ok, I can take this back at any point, it's also like, yeah but can you though? Do you actually want to? Or are you just going to think about it all the time until you do something about it anyway?
At this stage that's a natural feeling, given that you're not experiencing the full effect, as it were, of being out. It's your brain going into overdrive thinking about the complexities and uncertainties and erring heavily on the side of caution and inertia.
Problem is, that's a short term view (shorter term than you think) and it's not factoring the actually wanting to live life effect that being out gave me.
This is definitely a mood I get as well, and I think you're right that hiding stuff contributes to it. I get trapped thinking "I pretend to be a dude at work everyday so clearly it's not that big a deal" without considering how often I dread going in or how quickly I abandon those clothes when I get home. I think in addition to what others are saying it's a side-effect of the coping mechanisms we employ to stay hidden in places we aren't ready or able to come out. Repression, even necessarily knowing repression, really fucks you up.
And my wife got me a fun hairband!!
I can't speak to this experience directly, but from all of the folks I know who have done it, I can say it's absolutely worth doing. It's not all positive (Duh) but the upsides far outweigh the downs.
that's really going to depend on the person; I'm sure it's not universally true. Kinda depends what you're losing as a consequence and how bad or not it was before. I think the main point is more that regardless of whether it's causing a good outcome or a bad outcome, it's probably going to happen now that pandora's box is open.
Well yeah, of course. There are no absolutes, and not everyone has an accommodating family or a safe workplace.
Sadly I picked a too-dark blue and green, or too-bright everything else, so it only looks good using colour adjustment and in the right lighting, so I ended up just redoing my nails in green after taking the pic.
Need to find pastel ROYGB somewhere and do it right.
Yesssss this is delightful
I don't know if that typically ends well.