I am living in a completely different country than I grew up in and I don't have any idea what the school system is like, homework, etc. And even though Ecco grew up here for most of his schooling, the early years for him were in a different country altogether.
Plus the school system has changed a lot in the 20+ years since he's been through it.
Thinking about school and her going to school and how to handle school and things is honestly one of my biggest sources of anxiety right now and that I can feel coming along.
lonelyahava if it helps, my older step-kids moved to the US from NZ at age 10. They had to take some equivalency testing to make sure where they placed in the US school system. They kicked the shit out of all the testing except for math, and that was mainly because they simply learned stuff in a different order in NZ than the US. Like, we do fractions first and they do decemals first, that sort of thing.
So, primary education is really pretty comparable here and there, maybe even a bit better there.. It’s secondary education, universities and such, where the US probably solidly outstrips NZ.
Some of my anxieties (and sorry for dropping them all here) revolve around whether or not she's going to get what I consider a 'balanced' education. Is she going to get history and geography and art and music and literature as well as the math and reading and university prep stuff.
That's generally covered as Social Studies or Social Sciences here in NZ. It is definitely a required subject basically up until the point where you start picking electives and streaming your classes. MinEdu have the curriculum up here: http://nzcurriculum.tki.org.nz/The-New-Zealand-Curriculum/Social-sciences
If you have any questions about anything feel free to drop me a line whenever.
That's unbelievably cool. Your new name is cool guy. Let's have sex.
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FiggyFighter of the night manChampion of the sunRegistered Userregular
So my son has been acting off the past few weeks. Grumpy, introverted, extra cranky, and especially after school extremely exhausted. He fell asleep on the bus on the way home the other day. Keep in mind, this little guy gets 10-12 hours of sleep each night.
Like most parents, we can't get any info out of him about his day. "I don't know." "I'm too tired to remember." "My day was good."
The other night after stories I started telling him about my day, and I made a point to talk about some things that upset me, but it makes me feel better when I know I can come home and talk to my family about it.
When I was done, with minimal prompting, out it all came. The usual stuff I'd attribute to 4-year-old worries, like Elija wouldn't let me play baseball (they don't have sports equipment at recess in Jr K, so I found that hilarious thinking about them "playing baseball" in January.... in Canada.)
But he then started to describe interactions with a boy who we know is very close with him, this boy has behavioural issues and has a special "helper" with him at all times, but he's really high energy and so is my son, so I can see him gravitating to someone who can keep up. We saw him out in town one time, too, and his Mom told us they both talk about Pokemon all the time. My son makes up all the names (e.g. Stinker) so that's also probably pretty hilarious.
But then it got to some things that concerned me..
"He follows me around, and I can't get away"
"When we play, he pinches me and punches me, and he won't stop."
"It was yesterday, and today, and then another day, that day, that day.." And his voice started to waver.. I think he was just recalling how exhausting it's been. He even acted it out with his hands, little fingers walking and being chased around.
So after speaking with my wife, she spoke to one of the teachers who confirmed that they do spend a lot of time together, and this boy does project physically... "That's how he shows affection." That's nice...
My wife asked them to keep closer watch when they're together and step in when he gets physical. But also, make sure our son has opportunities to spend time away from him. Because to an outside observer, oh they're great friends and always together, and look they're playing tag and chase...
Right, or one kid is literally running away from this kid all day because if he doesn't he's getting hit and pinched.
The day after that talk he was a brand new kid. When I asked about his day his first words were "Jake didn't follow me!" And at Grandma's house, unprompted, "I didn't get picked on today!"
So hopefully this continues and they find ways to manage this other kid's impulses. My wife was less concerned than I was (she is a high school teacher) and takes the stance that we should keep an eye out, but this is normal. She also repeats often that I'm "overly sensitive to this kind of thing." I had a physically and emotionally abusive stepfather for my entire childhood. I maintain I'm just more "appropriately receptive" to these kinds of things, but I feel good about the quick action we saw from the school.
The day after that talk he was a brand new kid. When I asked about his day his first words were "Jake didn't follow me!" And at Grandma's house, unprompted, "I didn't get picked on today!"
Great to see such an immediate, positive outcome. Obviously the situation still needs watching but I agree, apparently very good response by the school.
I don't think I can agree that the negative signs he was showing indicated a normal situation. Like, even without the immediate recovery to compare it to that was clearly a situation that needed intervention given he's only 4 and doesn't have an adult set of interpersonal skills to reference to handle the situation on his own.
ceresWhen the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderatormod
Hooooo boy. Okay. I have had to have that kind of conversation with way too many people about my son.
He's 5 now, and incredibly sensitive. He always has been. He takes everything very seriously even when they're being silly. He has always hated physical affection that didn't come from his family. I could always tell that, but I didn't know how bad it was until about last year. Instead of asking for help when he needs it he turns inward and feels bad. I could tell a ton of stories along those lines, but one has really stood out to me.
I have a friend at shul I love to hang out with if she ever has time, which she doesn't often. She has a son about a year older than mine who is on the spectrum, and severely so. They have interests in common and I can tell my kid wants to get along with him, but he is very physically affectionate and has a lot of trouble with boundaries. When someone he likes runs, he gives chase and doesn't understand they aren't playing. It's kind of heartbreaking, because this kid just does not understand why kids run from him. I've had a number of conversations with his dad where we both want to see his child better understood and played with on his level, and I don't want to hurt his feelings, but also I've been trying to teach my kid about boundaries and consent and neither of us (thankfully) is willing to ask him to put those things aside.
Generally speaking, they aren't allowed to play if both of us aren't present. So my son goes in with a lecture about how is something is happening while they play that feels bad or inappropriate, he needs to come and tell a grown-up because otherwise no one will know to help him. Then I take it to the other kid's dad and tell him the problem so he knows to give the boundaries lecture.
It's not ideal, but so far it's working for us. I'm really glad my friend's kid has parents willing to hear that kind of thing, he is very lucky.
And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
Mori’s mom came over on Saturday to help us do yard work. Afterwards I offered her a cup of tea and she sat inside with us for an hour or so.
Niko, all sweetly: Granny, may I ask you a question?
Mori’s mom: Of course my lo-
Niko: When are you going to leave?
His timing was hilarious and spot-on.
I’m going to blame the blood moon for how awful my little wolves were yesterday. They were bouncing off the walls, going into hysterics and generally creating giant messes everywhere. Anya had gymnastics for an hour and still didn’t fall asleep until 11.30 pm. Yesterday was the first day where I was really regretting having kids.
Also the other night, they were hiding in their 'ninja hideout' which is just the space between the guest bed and the bookshelf. They'd also made a huge mess in the living room.
Anya: You CANNOT COME IN if you don't know the PASSWORD.
Me: Okay, the password is "Both of these ninjas are going to be in big trouble if they don't pick up their toys and pokemon cards right now."
Anya: (while coming out) ... How did you guess the password?
Sprocket was sitting on the couch next to me earlier tonight, watching me play some game, and I felt her wriggle in that certain "lifting one butt cheek, clenching some core muscles" fashion, and a few moments later, smelled her handiwork.
I said something to the effect of "you farted, didn't you".
She was quiet for a few seconds and then replied
"No.
It was you."
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HenroidMexican kicked from Immigration ThreadCentrism is Racism :3Registered Userregular
edited January 2019
My little brother is a father to two more kids, making me an uncle to (I don't want to try counting anymore) kids. They were born prematurely but are doing well enough all things considered.
My step-sister has 6, the youngest of whom is in highschool and the eldest is in the Air Force (and he's only a few years younger than I am).
My younger brother has 5, though not the same mother because ugh, but I won't get into it. All children (and newborns!).
My oldest brother has 2, still children.
My other brother has 1, but he's actually a step-dad in this case. He is in his... 2nd year of college?
And then there's my nephew and niece here at home.
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Mojo_JojoWe are only now beginning to understand the full power and ramifications of sexual intercourseRegistered Userregular
I've got seven nieces and nephews (All from French Girl's side) and to me that feels like a crazily large family. I sometimes forget about the existence of one or other of them.
Homogeneous distribution of your varieties of amuse-gueule
The amount of times Mallory tells us, "I'm not going to time out, Mommy/Daddy, I'm just going to [insert random activity here]", you'd think we do nothing but send her to timeout constantly every day all the time forever
My step-sister has 6, the youngest of whom is in highschool and the eldest is in the Air Force (and he's only a few years younger than I am).
My younger brother has 5, though not the same mother because ugh, but I won't get into it. All children (and newborns!).
My oldest brother has 2, still children.
My other brother has 1, but he's actually a step-dad in this case. He is in his... 2nd year of college?
And then there's my nephew and niece here at home.
As I read the numbers I wondered if you would end up having a niece or nephew that's older than you but I guess not. That's a big family!
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HenroidMexican kicked from Immigration ThreadCentrism is Racism :3Registered Userregular
My step-sister has 6, the youngest of whom is in highschool and the eldest is in the Air Force (and he's only a few years younger than I am).
My younger brother has 5, though not the same mother because ugh, but I won't get into it. All children (and newborns!).
My oldest brother has 2, still children.
My other brother has 1, but he's actually a step-dad in this case. He is in his... 2nd year of college?
And then there's my nephew and niece here at home.
As I read the numbers I wondered if you would end up having a niece or nephew that's older than you but I guess not. That's a big family!
That's the case for my little brother and eldest nephew. Said nephew is actually a year, year and a half older than my brother. I used to think it was really weird, but when I got older and realized how varied family structures can be with new marriages and such, it makes total sense and is fine.
Oooh, I thought you were saying your younger brother alone has 16 kids, haha. I have occasionally come across families that large online (there was one woman once who looked no older than 30 and was in super great shape and she said she had something like 12 biological children and 6 adopted children, she did have photos!), but it’s rare, of course.
My dad has 13 nephews and nieces and 6 kids of his own, so that’s a decent amount!
I met an old man years ago who told me he had 140 grandchildren. To this day those numbers baffle me. He was Boston Irish so it's entirely possible what with Irish stereotypes.
DisruptedCapitalist on
"Simple, real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time." -Mustrum Ridcully in Terry Pratchett's Hogfather p. 142 (HarperPrism 1996)
One reason I wanted my two youngest to have a sibling is the lack of cousins their age they will have.
My only brother probably isn't going to have kids. My husband has only half-brothers and sisters, and their kids are about 10-15 years younger than we are (and much older than my kids- they helped look after my youngest for a few months when he was born). His half-nieces may one day have kids, but probably not for about another 5-10 years at the earliest. And they live in the Netherlands (we're in America).
I am also the only one of my cousins to have kids, and although I'm the oldest, I'm not sure if any of the many cousins I have want kids. It's kind of odd to think about... My mom had two brothers and two sisters, and my dad had three brothers. One of my dad's brothers had three boys, and other had one. One of my mom's brothers had two girls, and one sister had one girl. Yet here I am, with the only kids so far. That family tree is getting whittled down.. My youngest cousin is in her early 20s, though, so it's not like things can't change.
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
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Drake ChambersLay out my formal shorts.Registered Userregular
I was just thinking a similar thing about our family the other day. Our sons just have two cousins, and the prospects for more in the future are pretty slim. This is a definite collapse from the previous generation, where my wife and I each have 10+ cousins.
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lonelyahavaCall me Ahava ~~She/Her~~Move to New ZealandRegistered Userregular
I technically had 7 cousins. But four of them were already in high school or older when I was born.
So I only really had three cousins growing up. Two of them became estranged when their parents divorced and they choose their psycho mother's side. One is from the black sheep side of the family and is such in her own right.
My daughter has no cousins and it's likely to stay that way.
I technically had 7 cousins. But four of them were already in high school or older when I was born.
So I only really had three cousins growing up. Two of them became estranged when their parents divorced and they choose their psycho mother's side. One is from the black sheep side of the family and is such in her own right.
My daughter has no cousins and it's likely to stay that way.
Whatchu talkin' bout? all the kids in this thread are like cousins! We need to have a PA playdate someday with all the kids here.
"Simple, real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time." -Mustrum Ridcully in Terry Pratchett's Hogfather p. 142 (HarperPrism 1996)
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lonelyahavaCall me Ahava ~~She/Her~~Move to New ZealandRegistered Userregular
I technically had 7 cousins. But four of them were already in high school or older when I was born.
So I only really had three cousins growing up. Two of them became estranged when their parents divorced and they choose their psycho mother's side. One is from the black sheep side of the family and is such in her own right.
My daughter has no cousins and it's likely to stay that way.
Whatchu talkin' bout? all the kids in this thread are like cousins! We need to have a PA playdate someday with all the kids here.
I have 11 cousins, 5 of whom have reproduced, none of whom live anywhere near us. Which honestly is fine as I love my extended family more from a distance. I do wish one of them lived closer though.
Because of my job I’ve been away from her for 3 of them, bah
Anyway I was on the phone with my wife tonight and my baby started crying in the background and I missed that sound so much. My wife, exasperated, thought I was crazy, but man I’ve already missed 23% of my baby’s life, I want all the good and the challenging!!!
I see them again at the airport at 4:30pm tomorrow. I’m having a tough time calming down to go to bed...
Awesome’d for seeing them tomorrow, not for being apart from them so often! Have fun!
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ceresWhen the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderatormod
Because of my job I’ve been away from her for 3 of them, bah
Anyway I was on the phone with my wife tonight and my baby started crying in the background and I missed that sound so much. My wife, exasperated, thought I was crazy, but man I’ve already missed 23% of my baby’s life, I want all the good and the challenging!!!
I see them again at the airport at 4:30pm tomorrow. I’m having a tough time calming down to go to bed...
Be prepared to change every last diaper for the next three weeks. At least, that's where you'd be at if I were her >>
And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
so if someone could invent a drug that renders me completely comatose until the threenager phase is over that'd be great
FYI I just spent 10 minutes trying to type something that is both true and kinda positive, but everything I could think of kind of fails one or the other.
I wish I could tell you it gets easier, or your kid(s) will start treating you well at some magic point. From my experience though, that's just not going to happen- as a parent you'll (hopefully) be your kid(s)' safe space to vent at and misbehave in and generally not have to keep their guard up all the time. Make the best of it, and when they are old enough to hang out with and play games with make sure you take advantage.
Just.... remember how it felt when you finally got out of the terrible twos and you got here instead. In my experience, that trend is probably not going to reverse anytime soon, so you'll have to figure out how to cope. Sorry!
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El SkidThe frozen white northRegistered Userregular
edited January 2019
On a more positive note, just wanted to share something that's been working pretty well with us.
We've been having trouble with our 8 year old. She requires someone to be standing over her and prompting her to do every small detail of everything from the time she gets up (goes to the washroom, gets dressed, have breakfast, brush her teeth, get ready to get on the bus, get out the door...) until the moment she goes to sleep. It's been utterly infuriating, because she knows she has to do all this stuff...she just won't do it in a timely fashion without constant supervision and direction.
So anyway, we have started with a pompom jar, and so far it's going really well.
Basically, if she accumulates 30 pompoms she gets a special treat- the current one is she'll be taken out for dinner and a movie.
She earns a pompom for:
- Morning routine (getting up, getting dressed, making her bed(!), having breakfast and getting to the school bus on time).
- Afternoon routine (emptying her bag, doing her homework)
- Evening routine (brushing her teeth, getting her pjs on)
- Bonus ones whenever she shows initiative (helping take the garbage bins in without being asked, helping with dishes or snow shoveling)
She loses pompoms for:
- Being late to the school bus
- Yelling at her parents for no good reason (this has been a problem)
- Not moving when she's told to move when we're in a hurry
- General misbehaviour
...And it's going really well! It's not perfect by any means (we are reminding her when she forgets things, and she is still surly at times because that's just how she's used to being), but it's really helped motivate her to move her own butt a lot more.
Just wanted to share in case any other parents were in similar situations!
It snowed a fuckload the last two days. School is closed, so I’m working from home with Sprocket. Employers do know that when you’re working from home with a 6 year old that you’re not doing any work, right?
It snowed a fuckload the last two days. School is closed, so I’m working from home with Sprocket. Employers do know that when you’re working from home with a 6 year old that you’re not doing any work, right?
Shit...even when I'm working from home and the kids are in daycare and my wife is out, I'm not doing any work.
On a more positive note, just wanted to share something that's been working pretty well with us.
We've been having trouble with our 8 year old. She requires someone to be standing over her and prompting her to do every small detail of everything from the time she gets up (goes to the washroom, gets dressed, have breakfast, brush her teeth, get ready to get on the bus, get out the door...) until the moment she goes to sleep. It's been utterly infuriating, because she knows she has to do all this stuff...she just won't do it in a timely fashion without constant supervision and direction.
So anyway, we have started with a pompom jar, and so far it's going really well.
Basically, if she accumulates 30 pompoms she gets a special treat- the current one is she'll be taken out for dinner and a movie.
She earns a pompom for:
- Morning routine (getting up, getting dressed, making her bed(!), having breakfast and getting to the school bus on time).
- Afternoon routine (emptying her bag, doing her homework)
- Evening routine (brushing her teeth, getting her pjs on)
- Bonus ones whenever she shows initiative (helping take the garbage bins in without being asked, helping with dishes or snow shoveling)
She loses pompoms for:
- Being late to the school bus
- Yelling at her parents for no good reason (this has been a problem)
- Not moving when she's told to move when we're in a hurry
- General misbehaviour
...And it's going really well! It's not perfect by any means (we are reminding her when she forgets things, and she is still surly at times because that's just how she's used to being), but it's really helped motivate her to move her own butt a lot more.
Just wanted to share in case any other parents were in similar situations!
I have to be honest, I bought a tool to implement at work to get people to work more/better using these same tactics as well
It’s still not turned on yet because once you call something “gamification” everyone poops themselves and thinks it’s hokum.
It snowed a fuckload the last two days. School is closed, so I’m working from home with Sprocket. Employers do know that when you’re working from home with a 6 year old that you’re not doing any work, right?
Shit...even when I'm working from home and the kids are in daycare and my wife is out, I'm not doing any work.
Posts
Nah.
That's generally covered as Social Studies or Social Sciences here in NZ. It is definitely a required subject basically up until the point where you start picking electives and streaming your classes. MinEdu have the curriculum up here: http://nzcurriculum.tki.org.nz/The-New-Zealand-Curriculum/Social-sciences
If you have any questions about anything feel free to drop me a line whenever.
Like most parents, we can't get any info out of him about his day. "I don't know." "I'm too tired to remember." "My day was good."
The other night after stories I started telling him about my day, and I made a point to talk about some things that upset me, but it makes me feel better when I know I can come home and talk to my family about it.
When I was done, with minimal prompting, out it all came. The usual stuff I'd attribute to 4-year-old worries, like Elija wouldn't let me play baseball (they don't have sports equipment at recess in Jr K, so I found that hilarious thinking about them "playing baseball" in January.... in Canada.)
But he then started to describe interactions with a boy who we know is very close with him, this boy has behavioural issues and has a special "helper" with him at all times, but he's really high energy and so is my son, so I can see him gravitating to someone who can keep up. We saw him out in town one time, too, and his Mom told us they both talk about Pokemon all the time. My son makes up all the names (e.g. Stinker) so that's also probably pretty hilarious.
But then it got to some things that concerned me..
"He follows me around, and I can't get away"
"When we play, he pinches me and punches me, and he won't stop."
"It was yesterday, and today, and then another day, that day, that day.." And his voice started to waver.. I think he was just recalling how exhausting it's been. He even acted it out with his hands, little fingers walking and being chased around.
So after speaking with my wife, she spoke to one of the teachers who confirmed that they do spend a lot of time together, and this boy does project physically... "That's how he shows affection." That's nice...
My wife asked them to keep closer watch when they're together and step in when he gets physical. But also, make sure our son has opportunities to spend time away from him. Because to an outside observer, oh they're great friends and always together, and look they're playing tag and chase...
Right, or one kid is literally running away from this kid all day because if he doesn't he's getting hit and pinched.
The day after that talk he was a brand new kid. When I asked about his day his first words were "Jake didn't follow me!" And at Grandma's house, unprompted, "I didn't get picked on today!"
So hopefully this continues and they find ways to manage this other kid's impulses. My wife was less concerned than I was (she is a high school teacher) and takes the stance that we should keep an eye out, but this is normal. She also repeats often that I'm "overly sensitive to this kind of thing." I had a physically and emotionally abusive stepfather for my entire childhood. I maintain I'm just more "appropriately receptive" to these kinds of things, but I feel good about the quick action we saw from the school.
He's 5 now, and incredibly sensitive. He always has been. He takes everything very seriously even when they're being silly. He has always hated physical affection that didn't come from his family. I could always tell that, but I didn't know how bad it was until about last year. Instead of asking for help when he needs it he turns inward and feels bad. I could tell a ton of stories along those lines, but one has really stood out to me.
I have a friend at shul I love to hang out with if she ever has time, which she doesn't often. She has a son about a year older than mine who is on the spectrum, and severely so. They have interests in common and I can tell my kid wants to get along with him, but he is very physically affectionate and has a lot of trouble with boundaries. When someone he likes runs, he gives chase and doesn't understand they aren't playing. It's kind of heartbreaking, because this kid just does not understand why kids run from him. I've had a number of conversations with his dad where we both want to see his child better understood and played with on his level, and I don't want to hurt his feelings, but also I've been trying to teach my kid about boundaries and consent and neither of us (thankfully) is willing to ask him to put those things aside.
Generally speaking, they aren't allowed to play if both of us aren't present. So my son goes in with a lecture about how is something is happening while they play that feels bad or inappropriate, he needs to come and tell a grown-up because otherwise no one will know to help him. Then I take it to the other kid's dad and tell him the problem so he knows to give the boundaries lecture.
It's not ideal, but so far it's working for us. I'm really glad my friend's kid has parents willing to hear that kind of thing, he is very lucky.
Niko, all sweetly: Granny, may I ask you a question?
Mori’s mom: Of course my lo-
Niko: When are you going to leave?
His timing was hilarious and spot-on.
I’m going to blame the blood moon for how awful my little wolves were yesterday. They were bouncing off the walls, going into hysterics and generally creating giant messes everywhere. Anya had gymnastics for an hour and still didn’t fall asleep until 11.30 pm. Yesterday was the first day where I was really regretting having kids.
Anya: You CANNOT COME IN if you don't know the PASSWORD.
Me: Okay, the password is "Both of these ninjas are going to be in big trouble if they don't pick up their toys and pokemon cards right now."
Anya: (while coming out) ... How did you guess the password?
Haven't been able to feel it yet as he stops wriggling about once I put my hand on her stomach.
She's 22 weeks now, had a bad today with tiredness and emotions but the main difficulty she has is that he just doesn't stop kicking/punching her :P
I said something to the effect of "you farted, didn't you".
She was quiet for a few seconds and then replied
"No.
It was you."
Edit - 16 oh my god.
My younger brother has 5, though not the same mother because ugh, but I won't get into it. All children (and newborns!).
My oldest brother has 2, still children.
My other brother has 1, but he's actually a step-dad in this case. He is in his... 2nd year of college?
And then there's my nephew and niece here at home.
We almost never send her to timeout!
PSN/Steam/NNID: SyphonBlue | BNet: SyphonBlue#1126
As I read the numbers I wondered if you would end up having a niece or nephew that's older than you but I guess not. That's a big family!
My dad has 13 nephews and nieces and 6 kids of his own, so that’s a decent amount!
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My only brother probably isn't going to have kids. My husband has only half-brothers and sisters, and their kids are about 10-15 years younger than we are (and much older than my kids- they helped look after my youngest for a few months when he was born). His half-nieces may one day have kids, but probably not for about another 5-10 years at the earliest. And they live in the Netherlands (we're in America).
I am also the only one of my cousins to have kids, and although I'm the oldest, I'm not sure if any of the many cousins I have want kids. It's kind of odd to think about... My mom had two brothers and two sisters, and my dad had three brothers. One of my dad's brothers had three boys, and other had one. One of my mom's brothers had two girls, and one sister had one girl. Yet here I am, with the only kids so far. That family tree is getting whittled down.. My youngest cousin is in her early 20s, though, so it's not like things can't change.
So I only really had three cousins growing up. Two of them became estranged when their parents divorced and they choose their psycho mother's side. One is from the black sheep side of the family and is such in her own right.
My daughter has no cousins and it's likely to stay that way.
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
Whatchu talkin' bout? all the kids in this thread are like cousins! We need to have a PA playdate someday with all the kids here.
Lol
Blood cousins then. Not blood, she's got plenty!
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
Siglet has three cousins and one descendent of her mom's first cousin, whatever that term is
Because of my job I’ve been away from her for 3 of them, bah
Anyway I was on the phone with my wife tonight and my baby started crying in the background and I missed that sound so much. My wife, exasperated, thought I was crazy, but man I’ve already missed 23% of my baby’s life, I want all the good and the challenging!!!
I see them again at the airport at 4:30pm tomorrow. I’m having a tough time calming down to go to bed...
Be prepared to change every last diaper for the next three weeks. At least, that's where you'd be at if I were her >>
FYI I just spent 10 minutes trying to type something that is both true and kinda positive, but everything I could think of kind of fails one or the other.
I wish I could tell you it gets easier, or your kid(s) will start treating you well at some magic point. From my experience though, that's just not going to happen- as a parent you'll (hopefully) be your kid(s)' safe space to vent at and misbehave in and generally not have to keep their guard up all the time. Make the best of it, and when they are old enough to hang out with and play games with make sure you take advantage.
Just.... remember how it felt when you finally got out of the terrible twos and you got here instead. In my experience, that trend is probably not going to reverse anytime soon, so you'll have to figure out how to cope. Sorry!
We've been having trouble with our 8 year old. She requires someone to be standing over her and prompting her to do every small detail of everything from the time she gets up (goes to the washroom, gets dressed, have breakfast, brush her teeth, get ready to get on the bus, get out the door...) until the moment she goes to sleep. It's been utterly infuriating, because she knows she has to do all this stuff...she just won't do it in a timely fashion without constant supervision and direction.
So anyway, we have started with a pompom jar, and so far it's going really well.
Basically, if she accumulates 30 pompoms she gets a special treat- the current one is she'll be taken out for dinner and a movie.
She earns a pompom for:
- Morning routine (getting up, getting dressed, making her bed(!), having breakfast and getting to the school bus on time).
- Afternoon routine (emptying her bag, doing her homework)
- Evening routine (brushing her teeth, getting her pjs on)
- Bonus ones whenever she shows initiative (helping take the garbage bins in without being asked, helping with dishes or snow shoveling)
She loses pompoms for:
- Being late to the school bus
- Yelling at her parents for no good reason (this has been a problem)
- Not moving when she's told to move when we're in a hurry
- General misbehaviour
...And it's going really well! It's not perfect by any means (we are reminding her when she forgets things, and she is still surly at times because that's just how she's used to being), but it's really helped motivate her to move her own butt a lot more.
Just wanted to share in case any other parents were in similar situations!
Shit...even when I'm working from home and the kids are in daycare and my wife is out, I'm not doing any work.
PSN/Steam/NNID: SyphonBlue | BNet: SyphonBlue#1126
I have to be honest, I bought a tool to implement at work to get people to work more/better using these same tactics as well
It’s still not turned on yet because once you call something “gamification” everyone poops themselves and thinks it’s hokum.
It's assholes like us that ruin it for everyone.
But just because you want me to come put the password into the laptop does not mean I will leap off the toilet and come at your beck and call.
You asked 5 times and the answer is still “NO, I’M POOPING”.
Fun fact: My 14 year old son is the only one in the house that consistently knows what my paypal password is.