Been at AusPAX at the most queer inclusive environment I'll be in all year. Sure would love to not have massive impostor syndrome any time I'm in an explicit queer space. Still, I've only had one shower cry so far while here.
Anyway,
I figured out some of the impostor syndrome stuff the night after the con ended (great timing!). They had some nice rainbow pride lanyards up in the diversity lounge that were reversible to trans pride colours, and they'd give one out if you could answer a basic queer gaming question. The issue was that they asked me to name a trans character in a game (other people were asked different questions), and my brain froze up and I couldn't name one at all. They ended up prompting me to name someone from one of the dragon age games (I've not played any of them) so I have the lanyard, but that whole exchange left me feeling pretty crappy. I probably should have either gone with my gut and said Celeste (which I've also not played but I had an inkling about something (turns out it's a correct answer)) or just taken some good game dev advice and failed faster and just left. Ultimately I blame games writers for not putting more [good] trans characters in games, but you know.
The next day they were just asking for favourite ships (which being ace/functionally aro also isn't great, but given that it wouldn't have felt like such a personal failure and I woulda just said Link/Sidon) so either they got some feedback or someone else was in charge of questions.
Anyway, I'm going to play some Celeste later.
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Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
Seems like a pretty demanding question. I can think of exactly one answer and that's only because of the DA prompt.
Yea, the next morning I thought of some poorly done ones (birdo and poison) but I'm not sure I'd've wanted to bring them up anyway. It's an indictement on game devs, it is.
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GrogMy sword is only steelin a useful shape.Registered Userregular
Been at AusPAX at the most queer inclusive environment I'll be in all year. Sure would love to not have massive impostor syndrome any time I'm in an explicit queer space. Still, I've only had one shower cry so far while here.
Anyway,
I figured out some of the impostor syndrome stuff the night after the con ended (great timing!). They had some nice rainbow pride lanyards up in the diversity lounge that were reversible to trans pride colours, and they'd give one out if you could answer a basic queer gaming question. The issue was that they asked me to name a trans character in a game (other people were asked different questions), and my brain froze up and I couldn't name one at all. They ended up prompting me to name someone from one of the dragon age games (I've not played any of them) so I have the lanyard, but that whole exchange left me feeling pretty crappy. I probably should have either gone with my gut and said Celeste (which I've also not played but I had an inkling about something (turns out it's a correct answer)) or just taken some good game dev advice and failed faster and just left. Ultimately I blame games writers for not putting more [good] trans characters in games, but you know.
The next day they were just asking for favourite ships (which being ace/functionally aro also isn't great, but given that it wouldn't have felt like such a personal failure and I woulda just said Link/Sidon) so either they got some feedback or someone else was in charge of questions.
Anyway, I'm going to play some Celeste later.
When I went, they said favourite queer ships could be canon or non-canon, so they may have had further feedback on top of that.
I don't think they intended it to be gatekeepey so much as celebratory.. they just missed a bit. Given how many I saw around I'm sure I wasn't the only person who couldn't think of anything and was just given one anyway. I'm sure I presented as someone who'd know an answer to that question, if anyone there would - I feel like less queer presenting people would've received easier yet still queer focussed questions.
+2
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lonelyahavaCall me Ahava ~~She/Her~~Move to New ZealandRegistered Userregular
I think my brain would have panicked and I'd have said something like Bowsette or Diva from Overwatch. But I don't know if those are right either.
I don't think they intended it to be gatekeepey so much as celebratory.. they just missed a bit. Given how many I saw around I'm sure I wasn't the only person who couldn't think of anything and was just given one anyway. I'm sure I presented as someone who'd know an answer to that question, if anyone there would - I feel like less queer presenting people would've received easier yet still queer focussed questions.
Oh I'm sure it was done with the best of intentions, it just illustrates the need to be extra mindful that in queer spaces you're going to have people who are uncertain, questioning and feeling vulnerable. Those people have just as much right to be there and be involved than anyone else.
I heard they gave you a lanyard even if you got the question wrong or something, but yeah I think it was like a cute question in theory that would help raise awareness or make people think about how typically bad the representation of queer folks are in video games...
but the way it happens can easily make actual queer people freeze up and feel bad for not instantly having an answer or suchlike. They probably did it the wrong way around: give the person the lanyard, and while doing so ask them the question. That way you're giving them the really nice thing and just asking a friendly question in return, rather than making the nice thing seem like a 'reward' for answering the question.
Been at AusPAX at the most queer inclusive environment I'll be in all year. Sure would love to not have massive impostor syndrome any time I'm in an explicit queer space. Still, I've only had one shower cry so far while here.
Anyway,
I figured out some of the impostor syndrome stuff the night after the con ended (great timing!). They had some nice rainbow pride lanyards up in the diversity lounge that were reversible to trans pride colours, and they'd give one out if you could answer a basic queer gaming question. The issue was that they asked me to name a trans character in a game (other people were asked different questions), and my brain froze up and I couldn't name one at all. They ended up prompting me to name someone from one of the dragon age games (I've not played any of them) so I have the lanyard, but that whole exchange left me feeling pretty crappy. I probably should have either gone with my gut and said Celeste (which I've also not played but I had an inkling about something (turns out it's a correct answer)) or just taken some good game dev advice and failed faster and just left. Ultimately I blame games writers for not putting more [good] trans characters in games, but you know.
The next day they were just asking for favourite ships (which being ace/functionally aro also isn't great, but given that it wouldn't have felt like such a personal failure and I woulda just said Link/Sidon) so either they got some feedback or someone else was in charge of questions.
Anyway, I'm going to play some Celeste later.
When I went, they said favourite queer ships could be canon or non-canon, so they may have had further feedback on top of that.
that's what a ship is- a pairing that can be canon or non-canon. They probably just told people that because not everyone is familiar with the term 'ship' xD
+3
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Donovan PuppyfuckerA dagger in the dark isworth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered Userregular
cannons on a ship, who could possibly misinterpret that
+14
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VivixenneRemember your training, and we'll get through this just fine.Registered Userregular
edited October 2019
There were heaps of folks who knew plenty of answers to the questions after the fact, but froze having to think of them on the spot.
I was asked to name a queer lady character and it still took me ages to just say Cassandra from AC: Odyssey.
I chatted a bit to the folks at the table a bit after that first day, and they did say it was an awareness thing. I initially thought it was a neat idea, but it did seem to raise the issue of there being VERY POOR REPRESENTATION in games for queer folks, which is not the fault of con-goers, and I think on that one it definitely came across a bit gate-keepery.
It also sort of raises the notion that queer folks would know everything about queer representation in their area of interest... or play games where such things are made explicit (eg, what if you exclusively play Fortnite or puzzle games or mobile games etc, it doesn’t make you any less a gamer and it doesn’t make you any less queer ffs) which to me is straight nonsense.
So I’m kinda glad to hear that the questions changed after day one.
Anyone who wanted a pride lanyard should have just gotten one, period!
mmm I think this is a very uncharitable take, to be frank. especially after the queer person who related this story in the first place specifically said they did not think it was?
I absolutely think it can come off that way for some folks, and I think their particular choice of phrasing for the questions puts people on the spot more than it should... but I firmly believe their intentions were in the right place and they always gave anyone who asked for one a lanyard no matter what answer they had for the question
good, cute, idea with a slightly off execution that they clearly took feedback on to heart and changed it very quickly
Anzekay on
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GrogMy sword is only steelin a useful shape.Registered Userregular
Yeah, it sounds like they actually took the criticism on board and changed tack to a degree, so I'm much more willing to give some fellow queers the benefit of the doubt.
Save the vitriol for those who actually wish us harm.
Been at AusPAX at the most queer inclusive environment I'll be in all year. Sure would love to not have massive impostor syndrome any time I'm in an explicit queer space. Still, I've only had one shower cry so far while here.
Anyway,
I figured out some of the impostor syndrome stuff the night after the con ended (great timing!). They had some nice rainbow pride lanyards up in the diversity lounge that were reversible to trans pride colours, and they'd give one out if you could answer a basic queer gaming question. The issue was that they asked me to name a trans character in a game (other people were asked different questions), and my brain froze up and I couldn't name one at all. They ended up prompting me to name someone from one of the dragon age games (I've not played any of them) so I have the lanyard, but that whole exchange left me feeling pretty crappy. I probably should have either gone with my gut and said Celeste (which I've also not played but I had an inkling about something (turns out it's a correct answer)) or just taken some good game dev advice and failed faster and just left. Ultimately I blame games writers for not putting more [good] trans characters in games, but you know.
The next day they were just asking for favourite ships (which being ace/functionally aro also isn't great, but given that it wouldn't have felt like such a personal failure and I woulda just said Link/Sidon) so either they got some feedback or someone else was in charge of questions.
Anyway, I'm going to play some Celeste later.
When I went, they said favourite queer ships could be canon or non-canon, so they may have had further feedback on top of that.
that's what a ship is- a pairing that can be canon or non-canon. They probably just told people that because not everyone is familiar with the term 'ship' xD
Yeah I assumed that it was specifically mentioned to avoid people being put on the spot assuming it had to be a canon one.
mmm I think this is a very uncharitable take, to be frank. especially after the queer person who related this story in the first place specifically said they did not think it was?
I absolutely think it can come off that way for some folks, and I think their particular choice of phrasing for the questions puts people on the spot more than it should... but I firmly believe their intentions were in the right place and they always gave anyone who asked for one a lanyard no matter what answer they had for the question
good, cute, idea with a slightly off execution that they clearly took feedback on to heart and changed it very quickly
Yeah I responded straight away without reading the later responses.
I think I'll email them some feedback- both positive and negative. I'd been wanting to give them some positive feedback about the quantity of gender neutral toilets at PAX this year anyway, so including some thoughts about this will be a nice mix of both thanks and critique rather than just one or the other.
Also the question I got was a real softball considering I am a literal queer video games writer with an eidetic memory (name a queer character in a video game) of course I can name like three dozen such characters in an instant. I even got coy and asked the person if they wanted something a bit less common and named Zagreus from Hades because he's bi. That's what they should've been asking everyone from the start.
The better execution would be to give someone a lanyard and then ask who their favourite queer video game character is. No even slightly implied gatekeeping over a goddamn lanyard, asking people about their favourite X is a soft question that can give much more interesting answers, and it's a question that a lot of folks won't feel bad about if their answer is "don't really have one because most of them aren't very good or my sort of thing".
When it comes to queer topics, language is really important if it's going to be something with a very wide net of who it intersects with. You want to be as sensitive and mindful as possible because of the sheer variety of different experiences the folks you'll be interacting with can have.
best execution would be give them a lanyard and then something like having a raffle where you can enter by writing down your name and an answer on a piece of paper and the raffle gets announced later that day. Encourages people to return to the Diversity location, and hopefully bring friends, and doesn't put people on the spot at all while still giving them a reason to think about the current state of queer representation in games.
I think my brain would have panicked and I'd have said something like Bowsette or Diva from Overwatch. But I don't know if those are right either.
I'm sorry you felt off about it, pimento.
D.va would've been a great answer in my opinion, for what it's worth
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Erin The RedThe Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMABaton Rouge, LARegistered Userregular
Just got back from a tabletop gaming convention and like... gotdamn.
There were 1000 people or so and at least half of them were trans, I reckon? And then a large majority of people were in the LGBTQIA+ umbrella and it was the trans-est and gayest space I think I've ever been in and I loved it so much. Also getting to hang out with some of the folks who made my favorite games ever ever was real good too?
Ash is here with us for the week and she and Christine are getting along great and it's so so nice to be able to flop in bed and watch silly tv shows and cuddle up these wonderful ladies and I'm ***VERY*** gay and ***VERY*** in love
Also the question I got was a real softball considering I am a literal queer video games writer with an eidetic memory (name a queer character in a video game) of course I can name like three dozen such characters in an instant. I even got coy and asked the person if they wanted something a bit less common and named Zagreus from Hades because he's bi. That's what they should've been asking everyone from the start.
The better execution would be to give someone a lanyard and then ask who their favourite queer video game character is. No even slightly implied gatekeeping over a goddamn lanyard, asking people about their favourite X is a soft question that can give much more interesting answers, and it's a question that a lot of folks won't feel bad about if their answer is "don't really have one because most of them aren't very good or my sort of thing".
When it comes to queer topics, language is really important if it's going to be something with a very wide net of who it intersects with. You want to be as sensitive and mindful as possible because of the sheer variety of different experiences the folks you'll be interacting with can have.
best execution would be give them a lanyard and then something like having a raffle where you can enter by writing down your name and an answer on a piece of paper and the raffle gets announced later that day. Encourages people to return to the Diversity location, and hopefully bring friends, and doesn't put people on the spot at all while still giving them a reason to think about the current state of queer representation in games.
I'm not saying Sayonara Wild Hearts is a game about the Fool learning to love themself and accepting they're trans, I'm just saying it's a perfectly valid interpretation.
But then, SWH is open to a lot of interpretations.
+3
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Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
edited October 2019
I just found out about a big gay New Year's event happening near me called Queer Prom. It's a banquet and cabaret and party for £30 which sounds like a bargain. I am tempted to go, even though I generally feel super awkward at social things. And I'm used to going to bed at 9pm so staying up past midnight might literally kill me. Hmm.
Also I am pretty disappointed that it's not called New Queers Eve
Blanchard, to trans people, was an asshole. He put forth a lot of bullshit to invalidate who we are as people and turn it into some fetishistic crap that still echos today in the reasoning behind Gatekeeping and attacks on us by Gender Critical assholes.
Mostly just huntin' monsters.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
Blanchard, to trans people, was an asshole. He put forth a lot of bullshit to invalidate who we are as people and turn it into some fetishistic crap that still echos today in the reasoning behind Gatekeeping and attacks on us by Gender Critical assholes.
That really sucks! Follow up question, who was this person because the name's not ringing a bell and Google is just telling me about liquor stores and a murder mystery.
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GrogMy sword is only steelin a useful shape.Registered Userregular
Posts
I figured out some of the impostor syndrome stuff the night after the con ended (great timing!). They had some nice rainbow pride lanyards up in the diversity lounge that were reversible to trans pride colours, and they'd give one out if you could answer a basic queer gaming question. The issue was that they asked me to name a trans character in a game (other people were asked different questions), and my brain froze up and I couldn't name one at all. They ended up prompting me to name someone from one of the dragon age games (I've not played any of them) so I have the lanyard, but that whole exchange left me feeling pretty crappy. I probably should have either gone with my gut and said Celeste (which I've also not played but I had an inkling about something (turns out it's a correct answer)) or just taken some good game dev advice and failed faster and just left. Ultimately I blame games writers for not putting more [good] trans characters in games, but you know.
The next day they were just asking for favourite ships (which being ace/functionally aro also isn't great, but given that it wouldn't have felt like such a personal failure and I woulda just said Link/Sidon) so either they got some feedback or someone else was in charge of questions.
Anyway, I'm going to play some Celeste later.
"Mario"
"What? Mario's not trans"
"How do you know?"
I mean, yea, if they hadn't said confirmed by devs (I left that part out) then I'da said Samus.
Yea, the next morning I thought of some poorly done ones (birdo and poison) but I'm not sure I'd've wanted to bring them up anyway. It's an indictement on game devs, it is.
When I went, they said favourite queer ships could be canon or non-canon, so they may have had further feedback on top of that.
Steam ID - VeldrinD | SS Post | Wishlist
I don't think they intended it to be gatekeepey so much as celebratory.. they just missed a bit. Given how many I saw around I'm sure I wasn't the only person who couldn't think of anything and was just given one anyway. I'm sure I presented as someone who'd know an answer to that question, if anyone there would - I feel like less queer presenting people would've received easier yet still queer focussed questions.
I'm sorry you felt off about it, pimento.
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
In addition to Birdo and Poison
Erica from Catherine
The mishandled character from Andromeda
Kren who is unfortunately not voiced by a trans actor
Gwyndolin is trans only in the sense that someone else assigned them a gender
You basically have to choose a poor portrayal or say something like Samus or Mario
Also you need to be a massive, massive nerd or own a PS4 because I heard there's also a trans character in Horizon
Oh I'm sure it was done with the best of intentions, it just illustrates the need to be extra mindful that in queer spaces you're going to have people who are uncertain, questioning and feeling vulnerable. Those people have just as much right to be there and be involved than anyone else.
but the way it happens can easily make actual queer people freeze up and feel bad for not instantly having an answer or suchlike. They probably did it the wrong way around: give the person the lanyard, and while doing so ask them the question. That way you're giving them the really nice thing and just asking a friendly question in return, rather than making the nice thing seem like a 'reward' for answering the question.
that's what a ship is- a pairing that can be canon or non-canon. They probably just told people that because not everyone is familiar with the term 'ship' xD
Absolutely, that's just fucking gatekeeping.
I was asked to name a queer lady character and it still took me ages to just say Cassandra from AC: Odyssey.
I chatted a bit to the folks at the table a bit after that first day, and they did say it was an awareness thing. I initially thought it was a neat idea, but it did seem to raise the issue of there being VERY POOR REPRESENTATION in games for queer folks, which is not the fault of con-goers, and I think on that one it definitely came across a bit gate-keepery.
It also sort of raises the notion that queer folks would know everything about queer representation in their area of interest... or play games where such things are made explicit (eg, what if you exclusively play Fortnite or puzzle games or mobile games etc, it doesn’t make you any less a gamer and it doesn’t make you any less queer ffs) which to me is straight nonsense.
So I’m kinda glad to hear that the questions changed after day one.
Anyone who wanted a pride lanyard should have just gotten one, period!
mmm I think this is a very uncharitable take, to be frank. especially after the queer person who related this story in the first place specifically said they did not think it was?
I absolutely think it can come off that way for some folks, and I think their particular choice of phrasing for the questions puts people on the spot more than it should... but I firmly believe their intentions were in the right place and they always gave anyone who asked for one a lanyard no matter what answer they had for the question
good, cute, idea with a slightly off execution that they clearly took feedback on to heart and changed it very quickly
Save the vitriol for those who actually wish us harm.
Yeah I assumed that it was specifically mentioned to avoid people being put on the spot assuming it had to be a canon one.
Steam ID - VeldrinD | SS Post | Wishlist
Yeah I responded straight away without reading the later responses.
The better execution would be to give someone a lanyard and then ask who their favourite queer video game character is. No even slightly implied gatekeeping over a goddamn lanyard, asking people about their favourite X is a soft question that can give much more interesting answers, and it's a question that a lot of folks won't feel bad about if their answer is "don't really have one because most of them aren't very good or my sort of thing".
When it comes to queer topics, language is really important if it's going to be something with a very wide net of who it intersects with. You want to be as sensitive and mindful as possible because of the sheer variety of different experiences the folks you'll be interacting with can have.
best execution would be give them a lanyard and then something like having a raffle where you can enter by writing down your name and an answer on a piece of paper and the raffle gets announced later that day. Encourages people to return to the Diversity location, and hopefully bring friends, and doesn't put people on the spot at all while still giving them a reason to think about the current state of queer representation in games.
D.va would've been a great answer in my opinion, for what it's worth
There were 1000 people or so and at least half of them were trans, I reckon? And then a large majority of people were in the LGBTQIA+ umbrella and it was the trans-est and gayest space I think I've ever been in and I loved it so much. Also getting to hang out with some of the folks who made my favorite games ever ever was real good too?
ALSO!
Ash is here with us for the week and she and Christine are getting along great and it's so so nice to be able to flop in bed and watch silly tv shows and cuddle up these wonderful ladies and I'm ***VERY*** gay and ***VERY*** in love
Zagreus is bi? I need to get back in that game.
Check out my site, the Bismuth Heart | My Twitter
Too bad Nintendo killed Paper Mario stone dead.
But then, SWH is open to a lot of interpretations.
Also I am pretty disappointed that it's not called New Queers Eve
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
Why's that?
Blanchard, to trans people, was an asshole. He put forth a lot of bullshit to invalidate who we are as people and turn it into some fetishistic crap that still echos today in the reasoning behind Gatekeeping and attacks on us by Gender Critical assholes.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
That really sucks! Follow up question, who was this person because the name's not ringing a bell and Google is just telling me about liquor stores and a murder mystery.
Oh shit, how did I have no idea my wife was trans.
But yeah, Rowan Ray Blanchard is an 'academic' who's floated loads of 'autogynephelia' theories and whatnot and generally is a skeezy old fuck
edit: woops, got my R's mixed up