Anyone have any feedback about looking into SERMs as an agender to partially demasculize?
Would you like to lower E levels
It's comparatively easy to lower T levels and T levels naturally vary by a lot across individuals
Platy on
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WeaverWho are you?What do you want?Registered Userregular
Turns out my hospital has a dedicated department for this kind of stuff so I'll just have a talk with them I guess.
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Mx. QuillI now prefer "Myr. Quill", actually...{They/Them}Registered Userregular
Doctor at Planned Parenthood took a new blood test and checked out my chest, she's like 95% certain it's nothing to be alarmed but I'll know in a few days.
She and the staff did like my pins:
Technically a feather, buuuuuut fuck it I call it a quill for a Quill.
+30
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3cl1ps3I will build a labyrinth to house the cheeseRegistered Userregular
Feathers contain quills so you're not wrong that there's a quill in there!
makes me happier than I thought because actually seeing such a clear 180 on trans rights is heartening and maybe I have been affected by the constant attacks from the highest levels of govt
plus this lady looks like a perfect archetype of a jewish lady of a certain age that my mom is friends with; I'm guessing she owns 50 scarves and has 5 cats basically someone who I have automatic warm feelings towards
credeiki on
Steam, LoL: credeiki
+30
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Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
I heard on the news today that a 13 year old boy has been charged with murder and it got me thinking about how the government in this country doesn't think under-18s are responsible enough to consent to puberty blockers but apparently they can be held responsible for murder and it made me go "Huh."
Meanwhile, not so good news in the UK.
This report seems completely unfair to me, giving NHS staff insufficient resources and then blaming them for long waiting times...
That's a good thing, for sure, but I want to see a law on the books. Executive orders can potentially only last as long as that party holds the presidency.
but the White House /contact page now asks for pronouns.
I know it's just a small little thing. But also? Changing an in-production web page by adding a new field, even just a drop down box, is not necessarily a quick little thing.
There's two ways to think about these sorts of changes.
1) Small or temporary (see: executive orders) changes for the better can be indicative of the attitude and values of the people making the decisions, and that might suggest bigger changes with larger reaching effects in the future.
2) They're nominal gestures that are comparatively easy to make in an effort to get support from different demographics, but that aren't going to be followed up with serious pushes for long-term change.
Hmm.. sounds like it sends a powerful message ("The new norm here is that we respect people's pronouns") - hopefully a sign of many good things to come?
That sort of thing with the timing that it happened in could only happen if enough people who manage that site gave enough shits to do it. There are Approvals to get through to do that sort of thing that can be daunting, for one thing. Whether it's a relatively small thing in a wave of bigger things is to be seen, but it's enough of a thing that happened too soon for it to be nothing.
That sort of thing with the timing that it happened in could only happen if enough people who manage that site gave enough shits to do it. There are Approvals to get through to do that sort of thing that can be daunting, for one thing. Whether it's a relatively small thing in a wave of bigger things is to be seen, but it's enough of a thing that happened too soon for it to be nothing.
Yeah there was a confirmation tweet with a screenshot that was posted around 2:30p. So, like. First 100 minutes? Someone hit the ground running with intent.
Paired with what's being called the most sweeping pro-LGBTQ executive order given by a President so far, I think it's indicative of what the administration wants.
What they can get through Congress remains to be seen, but if nothing else, this looks like a reprieve.
Hopefully it'll leave queer communities with more energy to spend making improvements instead of just dealing with the latest calamity. Go on offense instead of defense.
Triptycho: A card-and-dice tabletop indie RPG currently in development and playtesting
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WeaverWho are you?What do you want?Registered Userregular
edited January 2021
Edit: I am redacting this whole rambling post to instead say that having a partner who supports you in your identity, is just the best. Also my hair and eye game is apparently *on point*.
Weaver on
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WeaverWho are you?What do you want?Registered Userregular
This has been sitting in my mind all day, that there are so many people who don't have any tangible love in their life. People that deserve to be loved and appreciated.
Once upon a time, I thought I'd rather have no love in my life as people who loved me always seemed to become possessive, controlling, obsessive. I remember an ex screaming "Leave if you want, but nobody will ever love you as much I do!" and thinking "Thank god for that."
That was a long time ago, now I've been with my partner for over 10 years who is unconditionally supportive of me, loves me as I am (bi, poly and kinky) and makes every day better.
So, yay for healthy supportive love! < 3
That's a good thing, for sure, but I want to see a law on the books. Executive orders can potentially only last as long as that party holds the presidency.
Bostock v Clayton County already upheld that the CRA includes gender identity and sexual orientation as protected against workplace discrimination. This seems like both a symbolic gesture of the administration’s attitude towards LGBTQ rights and maybe providing cover in case of [looks at Supreme Court].
Hello friends!
I haven’t been as active around here as I intended recently, but I wanted to share what’s been going on.
Over the last several months, I’ve been coming out to friends and family. All of my friends have been super supportive, and my mother has been amazing. It makes me feel a little foolish for being so afraid for so long.
But now I’m ready to pull the trigger on presenting as myself full time. I talked to my boss and hr last week, and will be coming out to my immediate team on Thursday. Then, on the first, that will be it - I’ll be Sarah at work, and everywhere!
So anyway, I’m super excited, and also super terrified. And, um, that is what’s been going on.
PS - thank you so much to everyone here who has been visible and shared your stories. You all inspire me.
I’m gonna get back into AC sometime. I was getting super burned out anyway, then I moved in September and couldn’t jump back in once I got settled
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21stCenturyCall me Pixel, or Pix for short![They/Them]Registered Userregular
Woke up with some negative thoughts this morning....
Negativity
i'm still convinced there's no way i would look any good if i tried to look more like i feel. I'm too scared of things going downhill to try to transition towards a nonbinary aesthetic.
And it really sucks but i have to admit that people like Abigail Thorn coming as trans and looking fantastic makes me feel a lot worse about myself.
And then there's the whole........ nonbinary thing. like, what does that even mean? I know what i don't want to look like but i've no clue what i want to look like.... it sucks. I know i want less of this and less of that but more of what? I just don't know.
Woke up with some negative thoughts this morning....
Negativity
i'm still convinced there's no way i would look any good if i tried to look more like i feel. I'm too scared of things going downhill to try to transition towards a nonbinary aesthetic.
And it really sucks but i have to admit that people like Abigail Thorn coming as trans and looking fantastic makes me feel a lot worse about myself.
And then there's the whole........ nonbinary thing. like, what does that even mean? I know what i don't want to look like but i've no clue what i want to look like.... it sucks. I know i want less of this and less of that but more of what? I just don't know.
I’m sorry you are feeling that way. Those feelings are super common and I know I had a lot of them for years and years and years before deciding to come out and transition.
Not knowing exactly what you want is 100% valid. You absolutely have the right to experiment and figure out what you want and like—and to change your mind if something you try out doesn’t feel right.
"The only real politics I knew was that if a guy liked Hitler, I’d beat the stuffing out of him and that would be it." -- Jack Kirby
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Hi I'm Vee!Formerly VH; She/Her; Is an E X P E R I E N C ERegistered Userregular
Can some transfolk talk a bit about how they reconcile their identity/presentation with the idea that we should be rejecting gender norms?
I got some nice smelling soap yesterday and used it today in the shower for the first time. It was a fun apple-y floral scent, and I was very pleased with it, it felt very girly and nice.
But also I definitely think that, say, cis dudes should be able to use that soap without it being a 'girly' thing. But I can't deny that indulging in stereotypical feminine things like smelly bath stuff and whatnot is really self-affirming. What are y'all's thoughts on that?
My philosophy on that is first do what feels good and right for oneself, and second check your preconceptions and be accepting towards what others feel is right for them. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you and so on. Only you know what feels right for yourself, and the same is true for each other individual. As more people think and act that way, gradually that should shift society's general expectations.
Can some transfolk talk a bit about how they reconcile their identity/presentation with the idea that we should be rejecting gender norms?
I got some nice smelling soap yesterday and used it today in the shower for the first time. It was a fun apple-y floral scent, and I was very pleased with it, it felt very girly and nice.
But also I definitely think that, say, cis dudes should be able to use that soap without it being a 'girly' thing. But I can't deny that indulging in stereotypical feminine things like smelly bath stuff and whatnot is really self-affirming. What are y'all's thoughts on that?
The best way to do this is by continuing to be a strong feminist and ally to anyone who is cis but rejects gender norms (and also anyone who isn't cis and rejects gender norms!).
I want to dress masc but I unconditionally support my cis male partner who wants to have long hair and paint his nails and want to make sure there is more and more social acceptance of things like that. Similarly I want to advocate for the right of women to present however they want and be respected in feminine or masculine presentation or anything in between.
It is important to think about, because we are in a situation where:
1. we have chosen to shift our position along the binary and/or to try to step outside of it
2. because of this, we can see the binary better than most people--we cannot deny that this societal force shapes every interaction around us, and we need to be extremely aware of all gender signifiers in order to try to place ourselves where we want to be in the perceptions of ourselves and others
3. we might believe that the world would be better off without any concept of gender at all, or with a totally different concept of gender--but as per the above, we live in a world where there is a gender binary, and we are compelled by our own psychological impulses to shift our position relative to it, and as such are forced to engage with it
But yeah, I think a lot of thoughtful trans people have some qualms here, or guilt. Like ok, I wish that gender norms didn't exist! But also I feel best when adhering to certain gender norms! Or maybe I don't but the only way to get gendered correctly is by adhering to those norms and I can't decouple the two!
Am I letting down ALL WOMEN by deciding that the way I feel is incompatible with me being female? But also I believe that a woman could dress and act like me and still absolutely be female and it would be great and cool? aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Hm also I gotta say my partner uses scented soaps, and for my whole life I have not used any sort of bath products beyond dandruff shampoo and unscented bar soap lest my nonexistent dick fall off, but actually the fancy scented soaps are great, fuck it, but also it's important to me that it's his stuff and I'm just using it ;_;
Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
edited January 2021
Transitioning has made me a horrendous gender hypocrite if I'm honest. Before I transitioned I would loudly proclaim that men can wear pink and do their nails and ladies can be hairy lumberjacks, and now I've transitioned I recently agonised over wearing a sweatshirt because was it too purple???
I should say that I still think men and women can do whatever the fuck, I just fail to apply those standards to myself
Transitioning has made me a horrendous gender hypocrite if I'm honest. Before I transitioned I would loudly proclaim that men can wear pink and do their nails and ladies can be hairy lumberjacks, and now I've transitioned I recently agonised over wearing a sweatshirt because was it too purple???
I should say that I still think men and women can do whatever the fuck, I just fail to apply those standards to myself
I mean it's different though. People who transition are often in a tenuous spot wrt their personal appearance and need to adhere to conventional gender norms or else they do not pass*, which causes distress. Similarly they may feel more uncertainty/need to validate their gender identity internally, since it's being called into question from the outside.
You and I face a different set of pressures wrt masculinity than most people do, and it isn't hypocritical, really, to give in to said pressures, as long as we keep it personal and do not police others+continue to support variety in gender expression in other people.
*I look like a girl if I wear men's clothing that is effeminate. There is nothing I can do about this except not wear that clothing, or adjust my mentality so I am not very bothered if people perceive me as female. The former is generally easier than the latter although sometimes I wanna wear my skinny jeans and metrosexual sorta v neck tshirt, so, sometimes I can't do either!
Oh no : (
Please say it's not mock the week @Curly_Brace
Can't meaningfully contribute to @Hi I'm Vee! 's soap discussion (being cis & addicted to the Body Shop)
Just wanted to say hang in there @21stCentury , I hope you'll find the look you like & that feels authentic so that you'll feel just as happy and free as Abigail Thorn feels right now**
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GrogMy sword is only steelin a useful shape.Registered Userregular
edited February 2021
I think it comes down to generalising or essentialising from one's own experiences. Just because a given presentation is dysphoric or euphoric for me doesn't mean there is some inherent MALE/FEMALE quality to it.
Being trans is seeing through the lie and taking what we want, not (necessarily) rejecting everything entirely and existing gender-free.
Posts
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
Maybe worth taking about it w your GP?
Would you like to lower E levels
It's comparatively easy to lower T levels and T levels naturally vary by a lot across individuals
She and the staff did like my pins:
Technically a feather, buuuuuut fuck it I call it a quill for a Quill.
makes me happier than I thought because actually seeing such a clear 180 on trans rights is heartening and maybe I have been affected by the constant attacks from the highest levels of govt
plus this lady looks like a perfect archetype of a jewish lady of a certain age that my mom is friends with; I'm guessing she owns 50 scarves and has 5 cats
Meanwhile, not so good news in the UK.
This report seems completely unfair to me, giving NHS staff insufficient resources and then blaming them for long waiting times...
the smallest thing
but the White House /contact page now asks for pronouns.
I know it's just a small little thing. But also? Changing an in-production web page by adding a new field, even just a drop down box, is not necessarily a quick little thing.
So, like, I feel like that's not nothing?
1) Small or temporary (see: executive orders) changes for the better can be indicative of the attitude and values of the people making the decisions, and that might suggest bigger changes with larger reaching effects in the future.
2) They're nominal gestures that are comparatively easy to make in an effort to get support from different demographics, but that aren't going to be followed up with serious pushes for long-term change.
I hope it's the former.
Yeah there was a confirmation tweet with a screenshot that was posted around 2:30p. So, like. First 100 minutes? Someone hit the ground running with intent.
What they can get through Congress remains to be seen, but if nothing else, this looks like a reprieve.
Hopefully it'll leave queer communities with more energy to spend making improvements instead of just dealing with the latest calamity. Go on offense instead of defense.
glad you're loved!
This has been sitting in my mind all day, that there are so many people who don't have any tangible love in their life. People that deserve to be loved and appreciated.
That was a long time ago, now I've been with my partner for over 10 years who is unconditionally supportive of me, loves me as I am (bi, poly and kinky) and makes every day better.
So, yay for healthy supportive love! < 3
I haven’t been as active around here as I intended recently, but I wanted to share what’s been going on.
Over the last several months, I’ve been coming out to friends and family. All of my friends have been super supportive, and my mother has been amazing. It makes me feel a little foolish for being so afraid for so long.
But now I’m ready to pull the trigger on presenting as myself full time. I talked to my boss and hr last week, and will be coming out to my immediate team on Thursday. Then, on the first, that will be it - I’ll be Sarah at work, and everywhere!
So anyway, I’m super excited, and also super terrified. And, um, that is what’s been going on.
PS - thank you so much to everyone here who has been visible and shared your stories. You all inspire me.
More importantly, congrats on all the awesome things you've been doing!
Good luck tomorrow**
I’m gonna get back into AC sometime. I was getting super burned out anyway, then I moved in September and couldn’t jump back in once I got settled
Negativity
And it really sucks but i have to admit that people like Abigail Thorn coming as trans and looking fantastic makes me feel a lot worse about myself.
And then there's the whole........ nonbinary thing. like, what does that even mean? I know what i don't want to look like but i've no clue what i want to look like.... it sucks. I know i want less of this and less of that but more of what? I just don't know.
Check out my site, the Bismuth Heart | My Twitter
I’m sorry you are feeling that way. Those feelings are super common and I know I had a lot of them for years and years and years before deciding to come out and transition.
Not knowing exactly what you want is 100% valid. You absolutely have the right to experiment and figure out what you want and like—and to change your mind if something you try out doesn’t feel right.
"The only real politics I knew was that if a guy liked Hitler, I’d beat the stuffing out of him and that would be it." -- Jack Kirby
I got some nice smelling soap yesterday and used it today in the shower for the first time. It was a fun apple-y floral scent, and I was very pleased with it, it felt very girly and nice.
But also I definitely think that, say, cis dudes should be able to use that soap without it being a 'girly' thing. But I can't deny that indulging in stereotypical feminine things like smelly bath stuff and whatnot is really self-affirming. What are y'all's thoughts on that?
The best way to do this is by continuing to be a strong feminist and ally to anyone who is cis but rejects gender norms (and also anyone who isn't cis and rejects gender norms!).
I want to dress masc but I unconditionally support my cis male partner who wants to have long hair and paint his nails and want to make sure there is more and more social acceptance of things like that. Similarly I want to advocate for the right of women to present however they want and be respected in feminine or masculine presentation or anything in between.
It is important to think about, because we are in a situation where:
1. we have chosen to shift our position along the binary and/or to try to step outside of it
2. because of this, we can see the binary better than most people--we cannot deny that this societal force shapes every interaction around us, and we need to be extremely aware of all gender signifiers in order to try to place ourselves where we want to be in the perceptions of ourselves and others
3. we might believe that the world would be better off without any concept of gender at all, or with a totally different concept of gender--but as per the above, we live in a world where there is a gender binary, and we are compelled by our own psychological impulses to shift our position relative to it, and as such are forced to engage with it
But yeah, I think a lot of thoughtful trans people have some qualms here, or guilt. Like ok, I wish that gender norms didn't exist! But also I feel best when adhering to certain gender norms! Or maybe I don't but the only way to get gendered correctly is by adhering to those norms and I can't decouple the two!
Am I letting down ALL WOMEN by deciding that the way I feel is incompatible with me being female? But also I believe that a woman could dress and act like me and still absolutely be female and it would be great and cool? aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Hm also I gotta say my partner uses scented soaps, and for my whole life I have not used any sort of bath products beyond dandruff shampoo and unscented bar soap lest my nonexistent dick fall off, but actually the fancy scented soaps are great, fuck it, but also it's important to me that it's his stuff and I'm just using it ;_;
I should say that I still think men and women can do whatever the fuck, I just fail to apply those standards to myself
I mean it's different though. People who transition are often in a tenuous spot wrt their personal appearance and need to adhere to conventional gender norms or else they do not pass*, which causes distress. Similarly they may feel more uncertainty/need to validate their gender identity internally, since it's being called into question from the outside.
You and I face a different set of pressures wrt masculinity than most people do, and it isn't hypocritical, really, to give in to said pressures, as long as we keep it personal and do not police others+continue to support variety in gender expression in other people.
*I look like a girl if I wear men's clothing that is effeminate. There is nothing I can do about this except not wear that clothing, or adjust my mentality so I am not very bothered if people perceive me as female. The former is generally easier than the latter although sometimes I wanna wear my skinny jeans and metrosexual sorta v neck tshirt, so, sometimes I can't do either!
They really just can't fucking help themselves over there, can they?
Please say it's not mock the week @Curly_Brace
Can't meaningfully contribute to @Hi I'm Vee! 's soap discussion (being cis & addicted to the Body Shop)
Just wanted to say hang in there @21stCentury , I hope you'll find the look you like & that feels authentic so that you'll feel just as happy and free as Abigail Thorn feels right now**
Being trans is seeing through the lie and taking what we want, not (necessarily) rejecting everything entirely and existing gender-free.