Blanchard, to trans people, was an asshole. He put forth a lot of bullshit to invalidate who we are as people and turn it into some fetishistic crap that still echos today in the reasoning behind Gatekeeping and attacks on us by Gender Critical assholes.
That really sucks! Follow up question, who was this person because the name's not ringing a bell and Google is just telling me about liquor stores and a murder mystery.
Should I put this into spoilers because it's kinda fucked up? I think I should.
Ray Blanchard is the psychologist who coined the term "autogynephilia", which is the idea that some men get really turned on by the idea of themselves as a woman. This suggests that trans women are really just men with a very specific kink.
I don't think his ideas are commonly accepted among the trans community, to say the least.
WotanAnubis on
+2
Options
3cl1ps3I will build a labyrinth to house the cheeseRegistered Userregular
Blanchard, to trans people, was an asshole. He put forth a lot of bullshit to invalidate who we are as people and turn it into some fetishistic crap that still echos today in the reasoning behind Gatekeeping and attacks on us by Gender Critical assholes.
That really sucks! Follow up question, who was this person because the name's not ringing a bell and Google is just telling me about liquor stores and a murder mystery.
Should I put this into spoilers because it's kinda fucked up? I think I should.
Ray Blanchard is the psychologist who coined the term "autogynephilia", which is the idea that some men get really turned on by the idea of themselves as a woman. This suggests that trans women are really just men with a very specific kink.
I don't think his ideas are commonly accepted among the trans community, to say the least.
Blanchard, to trans people, was an asshole. He put forth a lot of bullshit to invalidate who we are as people and turn it into some fetishistic crap that still echos today in the reasoning behind Gatekeeping and attacks on us by Gender Critical assholes.
That really sucks! Follow up question, who was this person because the name's not ringing a bell and Google is just telling me about liquor stores and a murder mystery.
Should I put this into spoilers because it's kinda fucked up? I think I should.
Ray Blanchard is the psychologist who coined the term "autogynephilia", which is the idea that some men get really turned on by the idea of themselves as a woman. This suggests that trans women are really just men with a very specific kink.
I don't think his ideas are commonly accepted among the trans community, to say the least.
Yeah his stuff is super bullshit and unscientific.
I mean, using ‘autogynephilia’ to invalidate trans women’s gender is even more ironically ridiculous and shitty when you take into account the fact that about 90% of cis women experience autogynephilic feelings/fantasies according to his definition of autogynephilia.
It’s almost like women.... are women?
Apocalyptus on
+10
Options
ElldrenIs a woman dammitceterum censeoRegistered Userregular
Blanchard, to trans people, was an asshole. He put forth a lot of bullshit to invalidate who we are as people and turn it into some fetishistic crap that still echos today in the reasoning behind Gatekeeping and attacks on us by Gender Critical assholes.
That really sucks! Follow up question, who was this person because the name's not ringing a bell and Google is just telling me about liquor stores and a murder mystery.
Should I put this into spoilers because it's kinda fucked up? I think I should.
Ray Blanchard is the psychologist who coined the term "autogynephilia", which is the idea that some men get really turned on by the idea of themselves as a woman. This suggests that trans women are really just men with a very specific kink.
I don't think his ideas are commonly accepted among the trans community, to say the least.
Yeah his stuff is super bullshit and unscientific.
I mean, using ‘autogynephilia’ to invalidate trans women’s gender is even more ironically ridiculous and shitty when you take into account the fact that about 90% of cis women experience autogynephilic feelings/fantasies according to his definition of autogynephilia.
It’s almost like women.... are women?
Also like a huge amount of the super shitty depictions of “trans” characters in pop culture of previous decades draw directly from his crap hypotheses.
Most notably Thomas Harris used his writing as primary research for The Silence of the Lambs, and that shit put us back decades
Elldren on
fuck gendered marketing
+8
Options
CambiataCommander ShepardThe likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered Userregular
Can Hillary Clinton just, iunno, never answer another politically charged question ever again, please? I'm fucking tired of her giving the wrong answer every time, goddamn.
If you're wondering how this relates to the thread:
I mean on the plus side she just comes off as ignorant instead of a terf, but jfc.
At least Chelsea has her head on straight.
Meanwhile, Chelsea came down firmly in support of trans rights throughout the conversation, repeatedly throwing a “furious stare” at Aitkenhead over her questions.
"If you divide the whole world into just enemies and friends, you'll end up destroying everything" --Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind
You can tell she just does not like trans people but knows where the political winds are blowing.
I mean earlier this month she likened her staying with Bill after his cheating to a parent accepting their child after coming out as trans which is...woof.
Sterica on
+25
Options
CambiataCommander ShepardThe likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered Userregular
You can tell she just does not like trans people but knows where the political winds are blowing.
I mean earlier this month she likened her staying with Bill after his cheating to a parent accepting their child after coming out as trans which is...woof.
Oh ffs
"If you divide the whole world into just enemies and friends, you'll end up destroying everything" --Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind
I think sometimes when people talk about Blanchard they’ll
accidentally invalidate some people's sexual experiences, and I appreciate that Serano never does that. She acknowledges that people (both cis and trans) do have erotic fantasies focused on their bodies (she calls them embodiment fantasies) while also eviscerating Blanchard, his stupid notion that those sorts of fantasies cause people to become trans, and Blanchard’s various other extremely stupid, harmful, and disproven ideas
I think sometimes when people talk about Blanchard they’ll
accidentally invalidate some people's sexual experiences, and I appreciate that Serano never does that. She acknowledges that people (both cis and trans) do have erotic fantasies focused on their bodies (she calls them embodiment fantasies) while also eviscerating Blanchard, his stupid notion that those sorts of fantasies cause people to become trans, and Blanchard’s various other extremely stupid, harmful, and disproven ideas
From what I've seen and read, Julia Serano is pretty cool and extremely smart. That reminds me to try to get ahold of the rest of her books.
Remember that our perceived flaws are inflated in our own minds, as it's natural to think about the things that we would improve rather than the things we're happy with. Other people, however, will notice all of the things that are great about us, and in most cases, there are more of those things, and sometimes that which we consider a flaw is a quality in other people's eyes.
Yeah the snark answer is, "no I've pretty much come to expect it."
The better response is, "Hey, you're awesome, it's gonna be awesome. Maybe some awkwardness because meatspace, but otherwise you're gonna do great because you're great!"
You can tell she just does not like trans people but knows where the political winds are blowing.
I mean earlier this month she likened her staying with Bill after his cheating to a parent accepting their child after coming out as trans which is...woof.
I was ranting to my spouse about this, and he reminded me of something I really should have remembered - he asked if she really said that, because the press has a tendency to twist her words to be the worst possible thing all the time so he's skeptical she said something that hateful.
So I looked up her actual words (thinking to prove him wrong) and it turns out.. no she didn't really say that. The publication which originally used that headline is right-leaning, though other publications took the banner and reported it as if it were true were leftist. Which just goes to show I'm just as vulnerable to fake news as any other normal human, I just need to remind myself to double check when something sounds a little too far. If anyone wants her full comment in context, you can read and watch here. She talks about doing research as her way of helping a friend who had asked for help in what she should do for her trans child, something no one else in her friend group had experienced, which is pretty on-brand for her. It came up as an example of how she deals with a new and complex personal situation, not as a one to one with Bill Clinton.
Therefore I go back to thinking what I thought before: her statements are ignorant, not malicious. She is not a TERF. I still wish she'd stop answering questions about or bringing up politically charged topics, though.
Cambiata on
"If you divide the whole world into just enemies and friends, you'll end up destroying everything" --Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind
Had a stressful encounter the other day with pronouns
I was introduced to a friend ( lets go with X) of my friend (A) that prefers he/him pronouns. With my mutuals, I've tried to help encourage others with using them.
In this scenario he (A) left the scene for a bit, and I started a convo with his long time friend (X) that I had just met.
After I had used the preferred pronouns, while my friend (A) was away, his friend (X) makes the hand gestures for air quotes and goes, "Right HIM", then proceeds to use she/her.
I was left wondering,
Is this person (X) just a dirtbag?
Or did my friend (A) have different preferences with different people from different periods of their life?
Or do they not know (but if so, why exaggerate with airqoutes? - like did they think I was misgendering them?)
I was just kinda speechless at that moment, and the friend (X) moved on in conversation.
I both feel like I should have said something more, but I also didn't feel like I knew enough of their specific business.
Like would I be outing my friend (A) to someone they don't trust enough for pronouns? But then again, I've never been told to not use He/Him.
I'm thinking about whether I should I try to casually talk about it sometime,
"Like does (X) know your preference?", or would that be too nosey?,
or unnecessarily highlight a bad time and situation?
I feel like at minimum, I should have said "He told me he prefers He/Him pronouns", but it was pretty evident when I was continually using He/Him throughout that hangout. I also don't know if I would just be creating drama calling that person out for when they get back. I guess I'll shoot to be a better friend in future.
I'd probably ask A about it, but even if A told X it wasn't important or they could use whatever pronouns they want or whatever, 9 times out of 10 that's just capitulating to avoid conflict and X is just a dirtbag.
Also, I really don't like calling someone's pronouns their "preferred pronouns". Nobody talks about a cis person's preferred pronouns, they're just pronouns, so when a trans person's are just their "preference" it implies less legitimacy.
I'm ace and I didn't know it was Ace Awareness Week, so thank you for posting!
And now you’re aware it’s awareness week and everyone here is aware you’re ace!
It’s working
fuck gendered marketing
+20
Options
Erin The RedThe Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMABaton Rouge, LARegistered Userregular
Had to drop my gf off at the airport yesterday. Fuck. That was rough. Long distance relationships are hard, especially when you've closed the distance and have to say goodbye again.
The counselor at my PCP informed me that I picked the worst insurance for mental health coverage and no one takes it and literally Medicaid would be better
Had to drop my gf off at the airport yesterday. Fuck. That was rough. Long distance relationships are hard, especially when you've closed the distance and have to say goodbye again.
Bleh
Hope y'all are well
It is the worst.
I just got back from my trip with my girlfriend.
It was the hardest meal of sushi I had ever had, that last dinner before getting on the plane.
Seidkona on
Mostly just huntin' monsters.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
I had a very good presentation at the Out and Equal Summit. Many people cis and trans told us it was good (about 120 people came to it). It was about best practices for trans inclusion and visibility in the workplace, and it was pitched at fortune 1000 companies— big, primarily white collar corporations—so not everything is universally applicable. We mixed personal storytelling and trans education (I am the person who explains that gender identity is not gender presentation is not anatomical sex is not sexual or romantic orientation and all of these things can be a lot or a little and male or female or both or neither; and then I had to explain my gender identity and story to a whole room full of people which is a useful thing for me to practice doing; also we did a lot of special attention to the concept of being nb cause L. and I super care about that) with actionable advice and directions (bring in trans speakers or have people from your organization talk! Use gender-neutral language! Make sure your company’s transition policy recognizes that there are many way to transition! Here is how to be an ‘active ally’! Etc)
Someone from the national center from transgender equality especially liked our presentation and talked to me after and that was p cool cause she does this sort of thing professionally!
I also got to go to a roundtable that was only trans masc and trans male people, and that was really interesting and unique and positive for me. It was like 30 guys and it was so cool cause when else do I interact with people in my demographic—literally never.
Having to do this in a corporate setting is definitely weird, but here’s the thing:
1. I’m not independently wealthy so I need to work to support myself, and I spent 40+ hours at work every week, so it’s an important part of my life
2. It’s an important part of many people’s lives so we should make sure it’s a good place to be trans.
3. My workplace grants me more explicit protections than the state or country I work in. It’s bad that this is the case but I would rather have rights from my employer than from no one at all.
4. As soon as you talk one on one with anyone and they drop their guide you realize everyone there is just trying to do the best they can and also is often pretty anti-corporate and a little baffled at how they ended up there, and people are so fun to talk to.
I basically only hung out with trans people the whole 4 days which was awesome. Met this amazing nb consultant from another office who not dissimilarly to the hot nb consultant from the other other office is just covered in tattoos and has this excellent aura of subversion under a thin veneer of business competence. I mean also “I thought I couldn’t be trans for a decade because all the trans guys I saw were bros and I’m a goth.” A m a z i n g so yeah we just talked and drank for literally 4 days straight and it was great
Also @MsAnthropy i saw your company there (if I remember correctly who it is) and you should go next time if you can!
One other discussion I had that was good was at the last night dinner, where we ditched our assigned seating and made a trans table from the people at our company—but there was one cis bi guy at the table who had originally been assigned there and we were like o sorry and he was like nah man trans people are great, and I went to this bi+ panel in which surveys show that bi people often feel more comfortable around trans people than around gay or lesbian cis people, and also that a lot of trans people are bi—and I looked around the table and I was like oh huh it’s true we basically all are and also I would preferentially date someone who is also bi—and I never really thought of that too hard but it was just interesting and then we had a really fun discussion about being bi and various intersectionalities, and that was also pretty neat.
Posts
Should I put this into spoilers because it's kinda fucked up? I think I should.
I don't think his ideas are commonly accepted among the trans community, to say the least.
oh sweet jesus christ what the fuck
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
Yeah his stuff is super bullshit and unscientific.
Also like a huge amount of the super shitty depictions of “trans” characters in pop culture of previous decades draw directly from his crap hypotheses.
If you're wondering how this relates to the thread:
I mean on the plus side she just comes off as ignorant instead of a terf, but jfc.
At least Chelsea has her head on straight.
I mean earlier this month she likened her staying with Bill after his cheating to a parent accepting their child after coming out as trans which is...woof.
Oh ffs
hopefully don't actually need to worry about her crap on this topic in any greater capacity than folks already have to right now...
From what I've seen and read, Julia Serano is pretty cool and extremely smart. That reminds me to try to get ahold of the rest of her books.
Boy would they be surprised to meet me (or other ace people).
just kidding, they'd think i'm faking it.
Check out my site, the Bismuth Heart | My Twitter
Steam
Ever been terrified you won't live up to someone's expectations?
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
It's more of a constant low-grade dread
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
That's true, I was being unhelpful.
Remember that our perceived flaws are inflated in our own minds, as it's natural to think about the things that we would improve rather than the things we're happy with. Other people, however, will notice all of the things that are great about us, and in most cases, there are more of those things, and sometimes that which we consider a flaw is a quality in other people's eyes.
Yeah the snark answer is, "no I've pretty much come to expect it."
The better response is, "Hey, you're awesome, it's gonna be awesome. Maybe some awkwardness because meatspace, but otherwise you're gonna do great because you're great!"
Flying while trans sure is a thing.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
Steam
I was ranting to my spouse about this, and he reminded me of something I really should have remembered - he asked if she really said that, because the press has a tendency to twist her words to be the worst possible thing all the time so he's skeptical she said something that hateful.
So I looked up her actual words (thinking to prove him wrong) and it turns out.. no she didn't really say that. The publication which originally used that headline is right-leaning, though other publications took the banner and reported it as if it were true were leftist. Which just goes to show I'm just as vulnerable to fake news as any other normal human, I just need to remind myself to double check when something sounds a little too far. If anyone wants her full comment in context, you can read and watch here. She talks about doing research as her way of helping a friend who had asked for help in what she should do for her trans child, something no one else in her friend group had experienced, which is pretty on-brand for her. It came up as an example of how she deals with a new and complex personal situation, not as a one to one with Bill Clinton.
Therefore I go back to thinking what I thought before: her statements are ignorant, not malicious. She is not a TERF. I still wish she'd stop answering questions about or bringing up politically charged topics, though.
In this scenario he (A) left the scene for a bit, and I started a convo with his long time friend (X) that I had just met.
After I had used the preferred pronouns, while my friend (A) was away, his friend (X) makes the hand gestures for air quotes and goes, "Right HIM", then proceeds to use she/her.
I was left wondering,
Is this person (X) just a dirtbag?
Or did my friend (A) have different preferences with different people from different periods of their life?
Or do they not know (but if so, why exaggerate with airqoutes? - like did they think I was misgendering them?)
I was just kinda speechless at that moment, and the friend (X) moved on in conversation.
I both feel like I should have said something more, but I also didn't feel like I knew enough of their specific business.
Like would I be outing my friend (A) to someone they don't trust enough for pronouns? But then again, I've never been told to not use He/Him.
I'm thinking about whether I should I try to casually talk about it sometime,
"Like does (X) know your preference?", or would that be too nosey?,
or unnecessarily highlight a bad time and situation?
I feel like at minimum, I should have said "He told me he prefers He/Him pronouns", but it was pretty evident when I was continually using He/Him throughout that hangout. I also don't know if I would just be creating drama calling that person out for when they get back. I guess I'll shoot to be a better friend in future.
Also, I really don't like calling someone's pronouns their "preferred pronouns". Nobody talks about a cis person's preferred pronouns, they're just pronouns, so when a trans person's are just their "preference" it implies less legitimacy.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
Please take some time this week to consider Aces are valid, part of the LGBTQ community and definitely aren't "broken" people.
Thank you.
(I'm ace if you weren't aware of it.)
Check out my site, the Bismuth Heart | My Twitter
And now you’re aware it’s awareness week and everyone here is aware you’re ace!
It’s working
Bleh
Hope y'all are well
So uh, I guess I'm changing plans this year
It is the worst.
I just got back from my trip with my girlfriend.
It was the hardest meal of sushi I had ever had, that last dinner before getting on the plane.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
Someone from the national center from transgender equality especially liked our presentation and talked to me after and that was p cool cause she does this sort of thing professionally!
I also got to go to a roundtable that was only trans masc and trans male people, and that was really interesting and unique and positive for me. It was like 30 guys and it was so cool cause when else do I interact with people in my demographic—literally never.
Having to do this in a corporate setting is definitely weird, but here’s the thing:
1. I’m not independently wealthy so I need to work to support myself, and I spent 40+ hours at work every week, so it’s an important part of my life
2. It’s an important part of many people’s lives so we should make sure it’s a good place to be trans.
3. My workplace grants me more explicit protections than the state or country I work in. It’s bad that this is the case but I would rather have rights from my employer than from no one at all.
4. As soon as you talk one on one with anyone and they drop their guide you realize everyone there is just trying to do the best they can and also is often pretty anti-corporate and a little baffled at how they ended up there, and people are so fun to talk to.
I basically only hung out with trans people the whole 4 days which was awesome. Met this amazing nb consultant from another office who not dissimilarly to the hot nb consultant from the other other office is just covered in tattoos and has this excellent aura of subversion under a thin veneer of business competence. I mean also “I thought I couldn’t be trans for a decade because all the trans guys I saw were bros and I’m a goth.” A m a z i n g so yeah we just talked and drank for literally 4 days straight and it was great
Also @MsAnthropy i saw your company there (if I remember correctly who it is) and you should go next time if you can!