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[Kids] are the best of times, the worst of times

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  • RanlinRanlin Oh gosh Registered User regular
    Septus wrote: »
    I'm feeling a little dark the more I think that there could be long-term lockdowns through the end of the year or early 2021, with perhaps at most a slight break in July/August. It's getting real hard to think of not only experiencing this much isolation, but also work and watch my 2 year old, and see how much he really wants to play with kids and can't. There's one neighborhood boy who's about 9, and a couple of times a week he's out and about in the afternoon and wants to talk, and Oliver just so badly wants to join in, and I'm basically constantly playing goalie trying to keep them 6 feet apart.

    Is anyone else getting desperate enough that they're trying to think of how they could pick a pandemic-buddy family, and only expose to them, for the sake of everyone's sanity? I can't tell if it's really an irresponsible thought or not, it seems like such a small concession, but we don't have any natural fits for it, we're not quite as close as I would like with parents of age-appropriate children to not make it seem uncomfortable.

    That's definitely an okay idea, and is supported as a reasonable choice by a lot of medical professionals. Obviously you're opening yourself up to more risk, since there are more people involved to act as a failure point, but if you feel you can trust another group to follow the same rules it can end up as a net positive for safety in some cases, if you coordinate shopping and the like as well.

    But even if it's just to let the kids play / have someone to socialize with in person, you just need to be sure they're on the same page as you. If something comes up and they have to break protocol for some (hopefully good!) reason, then you either stop entirely or give it the 2 week isolation period at least.

    I unfortunately don't know any of my kid's friend's families well enough to trust them that aren't also stuck working still. Which I guess I didn't mention specifically, it's obviously not recommended if the other family isn't otherwise isolated just like you are.

  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    So here's a thing

    my two year old has wantonly murdered two tower fans in the last week.

    He has one in his room because his room is warm and also for white noise, and because he is two he loves to do a smash, and tower fans fall to the ground in a very satisfying way I guess.

    So I'd actually repaired his first one a couple of times before its final death nell. What finally got it is he shoved a pencil through the vents while it was on and it carved a bunch of the little blades out of it. After that it was catastrophically imbalanced and couldn't be repaired.

    He wouldn't sleep without a fan, so I put the fan from our bedroom into his room and the next day he murders that one too. This time just pushed it hard enough to snap the plastic base off.

    So today I bought him a little desk fan that I can stick on top of his wardrobe which he CAN'T REACH TO MURDER

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  • RanlinRanlin Oh gosh Registered User regular
    Was your kid ever exposed to high doses of gamma radiation?

    KalnaurCaptain InertiaSmrtnikElvenshae
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    #pipe wrote: »
    So here's a thing

    my two year old has wantonly murdered two tower fans in the last week.

    He has one in his room because his room is warm and also for white noise, and because he is two he loves to do a smash, and tower fans fall to the ground in a very satisfying way I guess.

    So I'd actually repaired his first one a couple of times before its final death nell. What finally got it is he shoved a pencil through the vents while it was on and it carved a bunch of the little blades out of it. After that it was catastrophically imbalanced and couldn't be repaired.

    He wouldn't sleep without a fan, so I put the fan from our bedroom into his room and the next day he murders that one too. This time just pushed it hard enough to snap the plastic base off.

    So today I bought him a little desk fan that I can stick on top of his wardrobe which he CAN'T REACH TO MURDER

    Do you want to tempt the wrath from high atop the thing?!?!

    KalnaurElvenshaeBrodymrpakuKayne Red RobeDisruptedCapitalistSlacker71
  • El SkidEl Skid The frozen white northRegistered User regular
    edited April 2020
    They made cages around the fan blades to ensure the safety of kids.

    They neglected the cage around the entire device to ensure the safety of fans from the wrath of kids.

    El Skid on
    mrpaku wrote: »
    my name is precisionk and i'm ten tanks

    wrath God fear traitor evil
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  • sponospono Mining for Nose Diamonds Registered User regular
    See, this is why we put ceiling fans in every room in the house before the boy was born

    Just go back in time and do that, jeez

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    ElvenshaePeen
  • mrpakumrpaku Registered User regular
    Secret Parental Cheevo Unlocked- Conduct Middle Guy's zoom preschool meeting at an 80% or better success rate, *with* Angry Tiny Wonder and Needy Girl Puppers on your lap right next to Middle Guy, *without* yelling or dropping the phone 8-)

    djmitchellaBrodylonelyahavaElvenshaeSlacker71
  • BrodyBrody The Watch The First ShoreRegistered User regular
    spono wrote: »
    See, this is why we put ceiling fans in every room in the house before the boy was born

    Just go back in time and do that, jeez

    I doubt that would stop Taramoor's ninja kids

    "I will write your name in the ruin of them. I will paint you across history in the color of their blood."

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  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    edited April 2020


    It crazy watching her being unable to solve the simple 5x5 boards to zipping through massive levels.

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  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    It’s funny what words have become nicknames in our family.

    I don’t really like the word ‘buddy’. But for some reason I began calling Niko that when he was born, and Mori followed suit (even though he doesn’t like it either!) and now Niko - who has thankfully apparently rather fond of the word - answers to ‘buddy’ or ‘bud’ more than any other name.

    Meanwhile Anya is ‘baby girl’ (me) ‘squishy’ (Mori). Which probably isn’t suitable any more for a big 8 year old, but there you go.

    Anyway... Niko changes up my name often (as I’ve mentioned before; as long as it begins with ‘M’ I typically answer to it) but he regularly just calls me ‘Moo’ and now Anya’s started calling me that, too. So I guess I’m ‘Moo’, which is on a similar level to ‘Buddy’.

    Mori got off lightest of all; his nickname is still ‘Daddo’ which is probably the most acceptable.

    So there we are: Moo, Daddo, Baby Girl and Buddy. Most of which I dislike on paper, but which just seem to work in person.

    ElvenshaeSlacker71
  • ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    My four year old:

    Can not pronounce “splash” or “three” to save his life.

    Has no problems with “inventory” or “several” or “vacation.”

    :D

    Or “Coronavirus.”

    :(

    ProlegomenaJansonMNC DoverkimeBrodylonelyahavaDisruptedCapitalist
  • TaramoorTaramoor Storyteller Registered User regular
    Elvenshae wrote: »
    My four year old:

    Can not pronounce “splash” or “three” to save his life.

    Has no problems with “inventory” or “several” or “vacation.”

    :D

    Or “Coronavirus.”

    :(

    I will admit to thinking some dark thoughts when I overheard my six year-old ask Siri how to stop the coronavirus so she could go to school.

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  • mrpakumrpaku Registered User regular
    My kids insisted on making t-shirt sleeve masks like Daddy wears when he has to leave, and now they'll run around the house in them laughing and playing and looking like little oblivious child soldiers, and then I need to go find something else to do pretty much immediately

    Lindsay Lohan
  • Lindsay LohanLindsay Lohan Registered User regular
    If you're ever concerned with the physical fitness of a teenager and want to see how fast they can run up a flight of stairs, try this line:

    We're watching Hallmark movies and doing a jigsaw puzzle. Wanna join us?

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  • PeenPeen tw1tch0rz occasionallyRegistered User regular
    It's a rainy day so we made soft pretzels! I'll be honest, I'm not sure who shaped them better, them or me.

    7nZFXKAl.jpg

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  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    edited April 2020
    Elbasunu wrote: »
    Anybody have chromebook suggestions for 1st graders?

    Wife is tired of my son having to use her laptop for school stuff, and we figured he should probably have something that's just his to work with. These storage sizes seem sooooo small but I guess that doesn't matter?

    Daughter's been using my 'ASUS Chromebook Flip C302' which is the older model, but works fine for all the online only schoolwork. There's one or two sites- some PBS games - that use Flash but everything else is no problem.

    Got a 128GB micro card that just stays inside the machine for extra storage.

    Zoom (bleh) works as well.

    MichaelLC on
    Jokerman wrote: »
    If sigs were still a thing this would be mine.
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    So I'm pretty sure it's a normal thing but

    Ellie has been asking lately about when I'm (me) going to die.

    I don't quite know how to really react?

  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    So I'm pretty sure it's a normal thing but

    Ellie has been asking lately about when I'm (me) going to die.

    I don't quite know how to really react?

    Daughter has asked that too. We just say probably not for a long time but if anything does happen, one of mommy's friends would take care of you.

    Jokerman wrote: »
    If sigs were still a thing this would be mine.
  • BrodyBrody The Watch The First ShoreRegistered User regular
    Hopefully after you are done eating dinner, but at this rate...

    "I will write your name in the ruin of them. I will paint you across history in the color of their blood."

    The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson

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  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    Little King is such a liar lately. He can wake me up when the clock in his room changes color from blue to yellow. The past few days he walked into our room 30 mins early, waking me up and when I ask him what color the light was he just lies and refuses to go back to his room. I'm still groggy and just want to sleep.

    I'm currently trying to get my point across by doubting everything he says, but I'm wondering if any of you have better ideas?

  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    I’ve tried calling out my daughter when she lies. For example, when I don’t hear the toilet flush after she goes to the bathroom. As she comes downstairs I ask her if she flushed, and if she lies, I tell her that I’m going to check and if she didn’t she’s “in big trouble”.

    Thankfully It didn’t take many follow-ups her her to take my threats seriously and has started lying a lot less. Just use whatever punishment you feel will work for your kid (timeout, loss of toy, etc) and hope for the best.

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  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    Late last year, I decided to try the 123 discipline technique. My parents used it on us, although three for us meant a spanking (it was the 70/80s). She’s taken to it surprisingly well and is one of the only ways I can break her out of crazy mode.

    Naturally, I’ve read online arguments for and against the technique. Does anyone else do this? If so, did you find similar success?

    Legends of Runeterra: MNCdover #moc
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  • schussschuss Registered User regular
    We built a color chart that matched the one our son had at school, then all agreed on what were good behaviors and bad behaviors. Lying is a bad behavior, so it means they move down on the chart and have fewer choices (IE - no shows or tablet time) during their open period. Provided you're consistent, they'll start learning that lying and hiding things have consequences that directly impact the time and choices they get.

    MNC DoverBrody
  • m!ttensm!ttens Registered User regular
    Ours is too little for disciplining but our (former, they moved away last autumn :sad:) next door neighbors used it to great success with their rambunctious boys. She told me that the key is the kiddos need to know the consequences of inaction, that such consequences will take effect immediately upon 3, and she always counts with the same cadence, uses a loud and firm voice with direct eye contact while counting on her fingers.

    I think like schuss mentioned, consistency is key.

    MNC Dover
  • mrpakumrpaku Registered User regular
    We've finally got Little Man taking school seriously daily (as long as you don't, you know, *stop* triple-checking him every couple hours or so), and now his new fun character development is "utterly, infuriatingly incapable of cleaning". I've had a standing order to clean our trashed-out-by-kids basement and backyard for probably a month now, which started out in "when you get a chance, and I'll*pay* you" territory, to "this is your mess, it's only fair you contribute work to the household too", then "this weekend, before you get to do anything else that's fun", and finally "screw it then, grounding, toy, and privilege removal doesn't work, just go away and I'll do it myself"

    I already got frustrated and cleaned the yard of all their trash once, sent them out for space and went down to start cleaning the basement, and when I came back upstairs, the kids had somehow trashed the yard even worse than it was before. My wife's threatened to just start bagging up and disposing of our too-many toys, which Little Man pretends he's cool with if the only alternative is "please clean" (but he'll lose his shit the second he remembers they used to be his toys and he doesn't have them anymore; he is *absolutely*, 100% bluffing. Also, not fair to his brothers). He's been grounded from screens, had his room cleared out of everything but a bed. Nothing sticks, he just gets sadder and less helpful

    Last straw was giving him three full hours this weekend to clean the basement, coming down at the end and being told that what had been accomplished was moving *this* handful of trash over *here*, and when, befuddled, we asked what he possibly thought was gonna be our reaction after that, and were weepingly answered with "....that I'd tried my best?" Followed by immediately bursting into tears and needing to take space upon being answered with "no, it *definitely* wasn't"

    The original rule was to clean your area every night so I doesn't get like that, but he won't follow through, unless you go make him every single time. You can stand there and show him what and how to "clean" (and I have! repeatedly!), but that very quickly becomes Little Man playing the "how little can I do so he doesn't get mad at me" game, while you complete the majority of the cleaning anyways but with added work. And I'll eventually get frustrated at feeling like the only one cleaning and *stop* completely, but going on strike just means there's that much more nightmare squalor I need to deal with when I *do* get back to work

  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    MNC Dover wrote: »
    Late last year, I decided to try the 123 discipline technique. My parents used it on us, although three for us meant a spanking (it was the 70/80s). She’s taken to it surprisingly well and is one of the only ways I can break her out of crazy mode.

    Naturally, I’ve read online arguments for and against the technique. Does anyone else do this? If so, did you find similar success?

    When I google this it sends me to 1-2-3 Magic Technique, is that what you meant? They don't have a wikipedia article on it and just links to their own resources, so I am a bit leery.

    I am going to try to be more awake so I can properly send him back to his room and when I notice him laughing at me I'm just going to confiscate a bunch of his plushies. He's probably going to cry/scream then, but he needs to see that lying=bad.

  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    edited April 2020
    Aldo wrote: »
    MNC Dover wrote: »
    Late last year, I decided to try the 123 discipline technique. My parents used it on us, although three for us meant a spanking (it was the 70/80s). She’s taken to it surprisingly well and is one of the only ways I can break her out of crazy mode.

    Naturally, I’ve read online arguments for and against the technique. Does anyone else do this? If so, did you find similar success?

    When I google this it sends me to 1-2-3 Magic Technique, is that what you meant? They don't have a wikipedia article on it and just links to their own resources, so I am a bit leery.

    I am going to try to be more awake so I can properly send him back to his room and when I notice him laughing at me I'm just going to confiscate a bunch of his plushies. He's probably going to cry/scream then, but he needs to see that lying=bad.

    The version I grew up with, and employ now, is a stern, loud, direct, and consistent count to 3. The “one” is loud and booming so there can be no doubt what’s going down. That “one” usually stops her in her tracks and gets her to do what I asked prior.

    The set-up was telling her directly and in a firm voice what was about to happen. Explaining I’m going to count to 3 and, if she didn’t do what I asked, she’d get x punishment. The first few times she counted along thinking it was a game, but that didn’t last long.

    These days I rarely get to 2 before she springs to action. The important part I’ve found isn’t screwing around by counting slow or giving half numbers so I don’t get to 3. Getting to 3 is important since it shows the punishment is real and the counting isn’t a game.

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  • SmrtnikSmrtnik job boli zub Registered User regular
    My wife drives me nuts with slow counting and fractional numbers.

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  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    That sort of counting just sends the message that “I’ve got a few more seconds of being bad before I have to do something.”

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  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    MNC Dover wrote: »
    Aldo wrote: »
    MNC Dover wrote: »
    Late last year, I decided to try the 123 discipline technique. My parents used it on us, although three for us meant a spanking (it was the 70/80s). She’s taken to it surprisingly well and is one of the only ways I can break her out of crazy mode.

    Naturally, I’ve read online arguments for and against the technique. Does anyone else do this? If so, did you find similar success?

    When I google this it sends me to 1-2-3 Magic Technique, is that what you meant? They don't have a wikipedia article on it and just links to their own resources, so I am a bit leery.

    I am going to try to be more awake so I can properly send him back to his room and when I notice him laughing at me I'm just going to confiscate a bunch of his plushies. He's probably going to cry/scream then, but he needs to see that lying=bad.

    The version I grew up with, and employ now, is a stern, loud, direct, and consistent count to 3. The “one” is loud and booming so there can be no doubt what’s going down. That “one” usually stops her in her tracks and gets her to do what I asked prior.

    The set-up was telling her directly and in a firm voice what was about to happen. Explaining I’m going to count to 3 and, if she didn’t do what I asked, she’d get x punishment. The first few times she counted along thinking it was a game, but that didn’t last long.

    These days I rarely get to 2 before she springs to action. The important part I’ve found isn’t screwing around by counting slow or giving half numbers so I don’t get to 3. Getting to 3 is important since it shows the punishment is real and the counting isn’t a game.

    Ah yes, I do that as well. There is no magic involved. Divine might, more like. I hate doing it, but it is a great communication tool.

    MNC DoverBrody
  • schussschuss Registered User regular
    So proud/jealous of my son right now.
    Proud - he wanted a big boy bicycle, so we told him he'd have to master his balance bike.
    Jealous - he did it. In under a week. Also is now pedaling and has figured how to start on his own with his new bike in the span of maybe 3 hours. No clue where the athletic talent comes from, but it's crazy to watch.

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  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    That’s awesome! My poor kids inherited my lack of coordination and are still learning to ride.

    I had a hard time telling Niko off last night. He threw a dinosaur into the bath - that was the bad action; he knows he’s not allowed to throw things since it could hurt someone and Anya was sitting *right* there. However it bounced off the wall and landed perfectly on Anya’s shoulder. All of us laughing hard did not help drive the message home. :P

    MichaelLC
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    mrpaku wrote: »
    We've finally got Little Man taking school seriously daily (as long as you don't, you know, *stop* triple-checking him every couple hours or so), and now his new fun character development is "utterly, infuriatingly incapable of cleaning". I've had a standing order to clean our trashed-out-by-kids basement and backyard for probably a month now, which started out in "when you get a chance, and I'll*pay* you" territory, to "this is your mess, it's only fair you contribute work to the household too", then "this weekend, before you get to do anything else that's fun", and finally "screw it then, grounding, toy, and privilege removal doesn't work, just go away and I'll do it myself"

    I already got frustrated and cleaned the yard of all their trash once, sent them out for space and went down to start cleaning the basement, and when I came back upstairs, the kids had somehow trashed the yard even worse than it was before. My wife's threatened to just start bagging up and disposing of our too-many toys, which Little Man pretends he's cool with if the only alternative is "please clean" (but he'll lose his shit the second he remembers they used to be his toys and he doesn't have them anymore; he is *absolutely*, 100% bluffing. Also, not fair to his brothers). He's been grounded from screens, had his room cleared out of everything but a bed. Nothing sticks, he just gets sadder and less helpful

    Last straw was giving him three full hours this weekend to clean the basement, coming down at the end and being told that what had been accomplished was moving *this* handful of trash over *here*, and when, befuddled, we asked what he possibly thought was gonna be our reaction after that, and were weepingly answered with "....that I'd tried my best?" Followed by immediately bursting into tears and needing to take space upon being answered with "no, it *definitely* wasn't"

    The original rule was to clean your area every night so I doesn't get like that, but he won't follow through, unless you go make him every single time. You can stand there and show him what and how to "clean" (and I have! repeatedly!), but that very quickly becomes Little Man playing the "how little can I do so he doesn't get mad at me" game, while you complete the majority of the cleaning anyways but with added work. And I'll eventually get frustrated at feeling like the only one cleaning and *stop* completely, but going on strike just means there's that much more nightmare squalor I need to deal with when I *do* get back to work

    There is currently a box of toys upstairs in the 'attic' portion of our house (it's a little cubby on our 2nd floor) that is from when Ellie refused to clean up her mess from our bedroom floor.

    She was advised that if she did not clean it up by the time I was finished folding the pile of laundry, then it would be gathered up and put away.

    She didn't, I started to clean it up, she started to have a tantrum, I kept on cleaning. She had been given plenty of warnings and knew the consequences, and she had plenty of time and knew the time limit. I was originally going to put them in the donate away pile, but there were brand. new. toys. in that mix that she had just bought for herself for her birthday. So they simply got tidied up and put away upstairs.

    She hasn't asked for them, really noticed that they're missing, or seemed to care, so there they stay.

    For your situation, imo, I would say I'm sorry to the brothers, but that's just how it goes. If they don't want their toys being swept up in the mess, maybe they should also be helping Little Man to do the cleaning up. Chores are a family thing and making a house livable is a family thing and needs everybody to contribute.


    As for the 1-2-3 stuff, I don't actually do the counting, something about the counting just seems.... I dunno it upsets me on a deep level that I can't really explain. But Ellie gets 3 chances on things. And she knows that. And after the third chance, she gets sat on the step. Bottom step is 60 seconds, if she tries to get up, she moves up a step and gets another 20 seconds added.

    So far, she hasn't made it very far up the steps.

    After the time isup, I sit on the floor/steps/sofa with her and we talk about what went wrong, and then we go and do the chore.

    mrpakuJaysonFourSlacker71
  • PeenPeen tw1tch0rz occasionallyRegistered User regular
    We've used counting since my kids were old enough to understand it and it's great, top notch. My wife uses it more than I do because she is kind and merciful, I tend to say "do this or this happens" and that's that, but my kids are older so it's less of a thing now.

  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    i'm trying so very hard to not lose my cool with this child.

    I know that this has been tough, it's disrupted her routine and her life. And while she seems to have adjusted pretty well to staying home with us, it's still not quite right.

    But sometimes my patience is just..... minimal.

    mrpakuDonovan Puppyfucker
  • EntriechEntriech Registered User regular
    I try not to be afraid of expressing how I'm feeling to our daughter, even if how I'm feeling is negative. Not only does it serve as a sort of pressure valve to avoid a larger blow-up, and can trigger an empathetic response with a behaviour change in her, I can very directly model the same sort of steps I ask her to take when she's frustrated, or angry, or sad. Granted, that's with a five year old who has good communication, but sometimes I just have to lay out that I'm worn down at the moment, you need to give dad 10 minutes of peace and quiet please.

  • FiggyFiggy Registered User regular
    We've never tried counting since a firm "Now!" seems to do the trick if the initial request/direction isn't followed.

    We're not a big fan of threatening to take away things, like "If you don't do your chores now I'm going to give all your toys away" because we likely wouldn't actually follow through with that.

    We do take away privileges/access though, so losing tablet time for the evening. I would just never say "I'll give your tablet away" because... I wouldn't.

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  • ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    edited April 2020
    Looking for some recommendations for good, half-an-hour or so documentaries suitable for 4 and 8 year olds: GO!

    ED: Netflix, Amazon video, YouTube, Disney+, and cable on-demand; no Hulu. :D

    Elvenshae on
  • m!ttensm!ttens Registered User regular
    How it's made, any of the planet Earth docs (they are usually an hour though so you may need to divide the episode into 2 sessions), Unwrapped. What are they interested in?

    Elvenshae
  • sponospono Mining for Nose Diamonds Registered User regular
    Tiger King
    Grizzly Man
    Making a Murderer
    Mommy Dead and Dearest

    Good bedtime television for the youngins

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    TheStigElvenshaePeenBrodySlacker71
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