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b i o p h i l i ab i o p h i l i a Registered User regular
edited August 2019 in Help / Advice Forum
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b i o p h i l i a on

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    ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited August 2019
    Does anyone have the experience of their child leaving the house when they're ready? Or leaving the house in an altered custody agreement with the acknowledgement from all involved that it's for the best?

    I'm not sure exactly what kind of experience you're asking for, because the things you've mentioned are all very common on their own, only much of the time it's not all so friendly. This sounds like the kind of situation that talk therapy was made for, and finding a therapist who can help you with that is likely the very best course of action you can take at this point. Turning to a random forum on the internet for these answers is likely to do more harm to you and your situation (mentally and by extension otherwise) than sitting down and talking to someone who is trained for it. People at large have their own baggage to attach to this kind of thing, and if you're generally happy with how things are going and the situation is stable and there's a lot of support from all sides, it's probably better to speak with someone who can help you sort through your feelings about it than strangers who have dealt with a lot of negativity regarding these experiences.

    It sounds like you don't want to feel less good about the good thing, you want to feel more good about it. Talk to people who are trained to help you with that, because a loving divorce can be a precarious thing when arrangements are altered, for the better or otherwise.

    ceres on
    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
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    b i o p h i l i ab i o p h i l i a Registered User regular
    edited August 2019
    ceres wrote: »
    Does anyone have the experience of their child leaving the house when they're ready? Or leaving the house in an altered custody agreement with the acknowledgement from all involved that it's for the best?

    I'm not sure exactly what kind of experience you're asking for, because the things you've mentioned are all very common on their own, only much of the time it's not all so friendly. This sounds like the kind of situation that talk therapy was made for, and finding a therapist who can help you with that is likely the very best course of action you can take at this point. Turning to a random forum on the internet for these answers is likely to do more harm to you and your situation (mentally and by extension otherwise) than sitting down and talking to someone who is trained for it. People at large have their own baggage to attach to this kind of thing, and if you're generally happy with how things are going and the situation is stable and there's a lot of support from all sides, it's probably better to speak with someone who can help you sort through your feelings about it than strangers who have dealt with a lot of negativity regarding these experiences.

    It sounds like you don't want to feel less good about the good thing, you want to feel more good about it. Talk to people who are trained to help you with that, because a loving divorce can be a precarious thing when arrangements are altered, for the better or otherwise.

    Interesting. I don’t agree with the assumptions you are making about me. I am not nearly as sensitive as you seem to assume I am. I am a mature, healthy and self aware. If anything I am setting an example as to how things can be amicable. I appreciate your candor at the same time I was just seeing if anyone had this experience? Not asking for professional or emotional help. Not turning to a random forum for emotional help or trying to trigger people. If someone gets triggered, look away. This is all very normal and sound and good. It was really a simple question. Comradery can be a very useful tool.

    b i o p h i l i a on
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    ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited August 2019
    Yeah I didn't actually say any of that.

    Camaraderie IS an important tool! This is the help/advice forum though, not the camaraderie forum, so the assumption is that you are coming here looking for help/advice. If you aren't and just want to chat about it I recommend SE, specifically the family thread or the kids thread.

    I also recommend that you don't use the word "trigger" the way you just did here on this forum. It is not taken kindly to because it minimizes people with real, PTSD-associated triggers and downplays the severity of those situations, and generally speaking people here try to be aware of that kind of thing.

    ceres on
    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
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