did i tell you about the time i randomly met yahoo serious's nephew in a kiribilli bar and talked with him for two hours about the script he was writing
i could do five minutes of jokes on that. sorry, tynic. i think yahoo serious's nephew trumps yahoo serious
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UnbrokenEvaHIGH ON THE WIREBUT I WON'T TRIP ITRegistered Userregular
North Atlantic piracy around the turn of the 17th century
My favourite is Henry Mainwaring, an English naval officer who was given a ship and crew and commissioned to hunt a particularly notorious pirate that was operating out of Newfoundland (really), and barely got out of port before deciding "nah, fuck this" and turning pirate themselves. He even took over his assigned target's base of operations when the original pirate retired.
Then, when he decided he was tired of the life he accepted a pardon from the king, and in return he wrote a book on how to combat piracy - "On the Beginnings, Practices, and Suppression of Pirates." One of his key pieces of advice was that pirates should never, ever be pardoned, as removing all hope of retiring peacefully and returning home would discourage people from taking up the life to begin with. I don't know if I've ever seen a more purely distilled example of "fuck you, got mine."
so naturally followed this by becoming a lawyer, and then ran for parliament
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PiptheFairFrequently not in boats.Registered Userregular
Probably the late Bronze Age decline
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JedocIn the scupperswith the staggers and jagsRegistered Userregular
I could probably go on a rant about mini games in Final Fantasy games. Like, just look at the Colosseum in Final Fantasy VI. You play this whole game, and after you go to Zozo, it’s practically screaming at you to use these big shiny rocks to learn magic. Turn a corner? Magicite. Do a story event? Magicite. Oh, you beat the dungeon? Here’s 8 Magicite for free! So in Square’s infinite wisdom, they decided to make a mini game that punishes you for ever looking at a damn Magicite! This coliseum has you choose one of your dudes to bet your valuables on, and he starts fighting on his own, choosing his moves randomly. And I do mean totally randomly! Meaning that every single spell you learned? Equal chance of being picked as the option to just fight! Ever seen a martial artist with bulging muscles and a knife on his hand decide that it’s a better idea to try and cure a poison he doesn’t have? It’s alnost as funny as him choosing a suicide spell on his first turn!
...but i think I’d be more interested in doing a routine about the history of ads desperately trying to get you to see them in a world with internet browser plugins and the ability to record TV shows. Jeopardy is particularly devious about it.
Posts
something less than 0.1% of the American population would have even heard of
it should be at least a C+ comedy routine
Maybe Neil Breen?
Okay so I don't actually have to tell any jokes, just yell my political opinions
DB Cooper
That’s a gold mine of comedy, if I do say so myself.
It half writes itself; he threw a big chunk of ice into Winston Churchill's bath at one point.
That's pretty obscure. I could tell a story from my life.
Like maybe a story about how I read some interesting and obscure facts about a topic and muse upon those facts in a unique and amusing manner.
I don't know what that topic would be, though.
i could do five minutes of jokes on that. sorry, tynic. i think yahoo serious's nephew trumps yahoo serious
My favourite is Henry Mainwaring, an English naval officer who was given a ship and crew and commissioned to hunt a particularly notorious pirate that was operating out of Newfoundland (really), and barely got out of port before deciding "nah, fuck this" and turning pirate themselves. He even took over his assigned target's base of operations when the original pirate retired.
Then, when he decided he was tired of the life he accepted a pardon from the king, and in return he wrote a book on how to combat piracy - "On the Beginnings, Practices, and Suppression of Pirates." One of his key pieces of advice was that pirates should never, ever be pardoned, as removing all hope of retiring peacefully and returning home would discourage people from taking up the life to begin with. I don't know if I've ever seen a more purely distilled example of "fuck you, got mine."
so naturally followed this by becoming a lawyer, and then ran for parliament
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Bronze Age: No, thanks.
Environmental factors accompanied by invasion of Sea Peoples??: Too late.
Bronze Age: Dang.
Humor can be dissected as a frog can. It often dies in the process
*murmurs of anticipation*
Ozu puts his camera like this!
*uproarious laughter*
https://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/1JI9WWSRW1YJI
"take my wife... please!" - posthumus
there are too many options
but my heart says burger king advertising from the early-mid 2000s
i could get a tight 15 outta subservient chicken alone
ey, you think poisoning your stepdaughter's evil, you should see my wife when i don't take out the garbage
these kids, they live in a cave, they hunt their own food *wipes away flopsweat*... i can barely get my kids off the damn x box!!
Tell me more.
...but i think I’d be more interested in doing a routine about the history of ads desperately trying to get you to see them in a world with internet browser plugins and the ability to record TV shows. Jeopardy is particularly devious about it.