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You're a burglar, but...

Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark isworth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
You are a professional burglar who is paid just to inconvenience people. You don't steal things of high monetary value, just things that will make their lives slightly more frustrating.

What do you steal?

All the batteries from their remotes?
Their wallet, but leave the cash and cards in a pile on their bedside table?
All of their forks?
Their keyrings - just the rings, leave the keys?

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    UrielUriel Registered User regular
    edited April 2020
    I just move things around a bit so that they slowly think they are losing their minds.

    Like you ever go to the kitchen for a tv snack and leave the remote in the fridge? I would do that kinda thing.

    Uriel on
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    MulysaSemproniusMulysaSempronius but also susie nyRegistered User regular
    Comfy sweaters

    If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
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    LasbrookLasbrook It takes a lot to make a stew When it comes to me and youRegistered User regular
    Sunglasses.

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    VeldrinVeldrin Sham bam bamina Registered User regular
    Their ability to properly scratch an itch

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    UrielUriel Registered User regular
    Also I go on adventures to lonely mountains, so I mainly steal magic rings.

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    I needed anime to post.I needed anime to post. boom Registered User regular
    jcz6jmaxv2pn.png

    liEt3nH.png
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    PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    I'd rearrange their porn magazines

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    Lindsay LohanLindsay Lohan Registered User regular
    Left socks and right shoes.

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    StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    Break into their houses just to move things around

    That's the Bridgewater Astral League way, baby

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zf_fPy9iZe0

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    see317see317 Registered User regular
    I don't steal anything, I just come in, and rearrange the kitchen drawers to they will be jammed next time somebody tries to open them.

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    breton-brawlerbreton-brawler Registered User regular
    Turn every coat-hanger around the wrong way in every closet.
    steal every lid in the place.
    superglue the toilet paper so it never unrolls.
    just some ideas.

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    DeansDeans Registered User regular
    Tie all their charging cables into a Gordian Knot.

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    bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    Can I bring a sander and sand every piece of furniture in the house that has legs so there's nothing level again?

    Just enough that you wouldn't notice unless you're really looking but really noticeable on the beds and when you put a pen down it rolls off the surface.

    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
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    StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    bowen wrote: »
    Can I bring a sander and sand every piece of furniture in the house that has legs so there's nothing level again?

    Just enough that you wouldn't notice unless you're really looking but really noticeable on the beds and when you put a pen down it rolls off the surface.

    Joke's on you, I live in an apartment that was built over a century ago

    Nothing is level already!

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    3cl1ps33cl1ps3 I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    Every 3rd sock from their drawer.

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    TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    Change their clock settings to different time zones/military time/daylight savings settings

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    DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited April 2020
    I take several socks, each from a different pair
    I look in the fridge and the pantry and take the bits of the thing that are lowest but you assume you still have a few days' worth of.
    I re-arrange all the keys on your keyring.

    DarkPrimus on
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    UrielUriel Registered User regular
    Burglar butt

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    TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    jcz6jmaxv2pn.png

    Woops, accidentally shot myself right in the femoral artery.

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
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    UrielUriel Registered User regular
    TankHammer wrote: »
    Change their clock settings to different time zones/military time/daylight savings settings

    Jokes on you. My only wall clock is broken... I still have it hung up... The wall looks kinda bare without it.

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    JayKaosJayKaos Registered User regular
    Just the good bottle openers and pens, leave them with the ones that barely work so they don't feel like getting new ones right away and they just suffer for a bit.

    Steam | SW-0844-0908-6004 and my Switch code
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    JuggernutJuggernut Registered User regular
    In order

    1. Doorstoppers

    2. Shoelaces but only from one shoe

    3. Either cumin, paprika or garlic powder from the spice cabinet.

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    HobnailHobnail Registered User regular
    The line between burglary pranks and cannibal murder is so thin and easily crossed you won't even notice it happening until it is far FAR too late

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    tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    All of you are just describing poltergeists.

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    UrielUriel Registered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    All of you are just describing poltergeists.

    My second post was describing a hobbit thank you very much.

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    Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    i'd replace remotes with remotes from other tvs

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    AtheraalAtheraal Registered User regular
    All the ram sticks from their computer except one

    Sex toys

    Charging cables

    Ketchup

    Spare toilet paper

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    PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    Nobody asked yet what the victims did to deserve this

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    Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    Platy wrote: »
    Nobody asked yet what the victims did to deserve this

    they crowd my damn planet that's enough

    plus im getting paid

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    JuggernutJuggernut Registered User regular
    I am playing by the rules with which I was given.

    Speaking of, what's the guideline on leaving potentially inconvenient items? Like, say

    A key of H and a ill heater?

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    PeasPeas Registered User regular
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    PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    Why is the name of the plant genus Fuchsia pronounced in such a weird way in English

    Is it because people didn't want to say "Fucks"

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    HobnailHobnail Registered User regular
    If you have a kilogram of heroin available for prank purposes I am not able to relate to you

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    JuggernutJuggernut Registered User regular
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    DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    Platy wrote: »
    Nobody asked yet what the victims did to deserve this

    They treat retail workers like garbage

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    Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    All of you are just describing poltergeists.

    I know what I'd steal to piss you off - all your screwdrivers!

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    UnbrokenEvaUnbrokenEva HIGH ON THE WIRE BUT I WON'T TRIP ITRegistered User regular
    half of their reusable plastic kitchen containers and half of the lids, but chosen in such a way that there are zero matched pairs remaining

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    Lindsay LohanLindsay Lohan Registered User regular
    Take all the tape in their Scotch tape dispensers except that last inch or so when you can feel it's unrolling harder than normal and you're at the end of the roll but you're just hoping to get that last gift wrapped.

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    IronKnuckle's GhostIronKnuckle's Ghost This is also my fault Registered User regular
    I take the cushions from the couch and chairs, leaving exactly as many cushions as there are people living there.

    In the garage, I steal all of the 2-stroke fuel cans.

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    JasconiusJasconius sword criminal mad onlineRegistered User regular
    all the HDMI cables

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