Yeah I mean walking is really the hardest thing for me at the moment. Not only is it extremely painful because it loads my lower back but I get out of breath extremely quickly to where my heart starts to race and the cold air doesn't help with that either.
And yeah the migraines are concerning. I get the aura more than the extreme pain usually because I'll eat something and feel better after a few minutes. It sucks because when the aura starts I can't see shit. It would be unsafe if say it happened while I was driving. It's like when you get your pupils dilated at the optometrist office. Everything looks like fireworks.
Is rowing an option? I can't run or jump rope due to physical limitations in my left leg / lungs / heart, but I've managed to make rowing work. I used to have to take periodic breaks to relieve pressure in my calf and catch my breath, but I've been able to work around that over time. Or maybe swimming could work for you?
Have you replaced the caffeine from the Dr. Pepper that you were drinking? Headaches are a very common symptom of caffeine withdrawal. Along with depression, anxiety, and low energy, among others.
Civics is not a consumer product that you can ignore because you don’t like the options presented.
Part of it is I started self medicating with soda again when I was out of my stimulant and still haven't totally kicked it again yet.
Honestly I haven't had the mental bandwidth to even track my calories in a few weeks either. It's hard to open an app every time I eat, weigh everything, look up and find the exact right entry when there isn't a good match for stuff when the barcode doesn't work... It's exhausting.
I know that you’ve said in the past that you don’t like diet pop, but maybe try coffee or strong teas? I drink plenty of coffee with a no-sweetener cashew milk; the milk is 25 calories per cup and I go through 8-12 cups a week. And maybe try to hit the sugar cravings with fruit? I find that apples are pretty good for that.
Civics is not a consumer product that you can ignore because you don’t like the options presented.
I don't think I could ever kick caffeine entirely. I do enjoy tea and coffee and I use the miio flavor things with energy in my water.
And what I meant is that I'm still drinking soda again, since I started after a day without my meds... I'm not drinking as much of it but still like 20 to 40oz a day. It's hard. Quitting it literally makes want to die.
Speaking of sled pushing and Conan I want to set up a log somewhere and hit it with a big wooden sword like they did in the old days. Swinging a sword or ax is hella strengthening.
Then if I feel like I'm plateauing I can just flip the log around.
Real talk one of the things on my bucket list is to enter a caber toss and just mad toss cabers.
Get a tire and a sledgehammer unless you really just enjoy swinging sharp implements while fatigued
That's actually not a bad idea. I just don't know how practical it would be for me. I don't have any space in my tiny ass apartment so I'd have to set it up at my mom's who lives 30 minutes away from me.
But I do like swinging heavy things. If I ever buy a house I legit want a wood burning furnace so I have an excuse to chop wood.
I don't think I could ever kick caffeine entirely. I do enjoy tea and coffee and I use the miio flavor things with energy in my water.
And what I meant is that I'm still drinking soda again, since I started after a day without my meds... I'm not drinking as much of it but still like 20 to 40oz a day. It's hard. Quitting it literally makes want to die.
You may at minimum want to consult with a dietician or nutrition coach to help you stay on track if you're struggling and want professional support, but if quitting soda makes you feel that way then realistically that's probably more in the purview of your therapist
I don't think I could ever kick caffeine entirely. I do enjoy tea and coffee and I use the miio flavor things with energy in my water.
And what I meant is that I'm still drinking soda again, since I started after a day without my meds... I'm not drinking as much of it but still like 20 to 40oz a day. It's hard. Quitting it literally makes want to die.
I'm not at all suggesting that you kick caffeine. What I'm suggesting is that by cutting out or cutting down on pop, you may be putting yourself into caffeine withdrawal. It's possible that you're misattributing your body's signals - it might not be the sugar deficit causing headaches, it might be the caffeine withdrawal. In which case, you may be able to treat your headaches and other problems in whole or part by going for coffee or tea rather than going for Dr. Pepper. One somewhat common factor among people who successfully lose weight is cutting out liquid calories. You may want to try a strategy of dealing with your pop cravings by instead having coffee/tea/diet pop and something to eat. Have some eggs or chicken or oatmeal or fruit or cheese or nuts or legumes or popcorn or whatever. Try to shift those calories into something more filling, while attacking the caffeine craving with some zero/low calorie liquid.
Civics is not a consumer product that you can ignore because you don’t like the options presented.
I don't think I could ever kick caffeine entirely. I do enjoy tea and coffee and I use the miio flavor things with energy in my water.
And what I meant is that I'm still drinking soda again, since I started after a day without my meds... I'm not drinking as much of it but still like 20 to 40oz a day. It's hard. Quitting it literally makes want to die.
I'm not at all suggesting that you kick caffeine. What I'm suggesting is that by cutting out or cutting down on pop, you may be putting yourself into caffeine withdrawal. It's possible that you're misattributing your body's signals - it might not be the sugar deficit causing headaches, it might be the caffeine withdrawal. In which case, you may be able to treat your headaches and other problems in whole or part by going for coffee or tea rather than going for Dr. Pepper. One somewhat common factor among people who successfully lose weight is cutting out liquid calories. You may want to try a strategy of dealing with your pop cravings by instead having coffee/tea/diet pop and something to eat. Have some eggs or chicken or oatmeal or fruit or cheese or nuts or legumes or popcorn or whatever. Try to shift those calories into something more filling, while attacking the caffeine craving with some zero/low calorie liquid.
That's what I said I already do?
The only thing I don't do is eat something when I get a sugar craving. Because it's not like always hungry sensation. It's more of a huge mood crash. And nothing I like to snack on is good for me as a replacement. Usually too fatty or carby.
Also really hard to eat just a small portion of a snack. So I tend to avoid snack foods overall week I can. Because I'll just keep going until they are gone. I've got some goldfish near right now for an example and meant to have like one handful earlier but have gone back for like 5 by now.
This right here worked for me. I filled my fridge and cupboards with foods that I enjoyed, but didn’t enjoy so much that I would binge on. I know that certain foods, if they’re in the house, I will devour them way ahead of any planned schedule. For example, if I buy trail mix, I know that I’ll eat the bag in three days or less. So if and when I do get trail mix, it’s in the weekend, usually a long weekend, and I plan for the idea that I’ll snack on it uncontrollably.
A friend of mine IRL uses Weight Watchers zero point foods as her guide to snacking. If she’s hungry enough to eat some chickpeas or fry up some zucchini and cauliflower and broccoli in a tiny bit of olive oil with salt and pepper, she’ll happily do it. But she doesn’t keep processed snacks in her house - otherwise it’s way too tempting for her to grab and handful or three.
I think that the easiest way to resist temptation is to avoid having it as an option.
Civics is not a consumer product that you can ignore because you don’t like the options presented.
@Juggernut you may have thought of this but you could get a steel mace like this and then swing heavy stuff around to your heart's content! It's fun, just don't be like me and buy one that's a little too heavy before you've ever tried it!
It's possible I shouldn't be so cocky about not drinking soda when I require a pot of coffee to wake up... But at least coffee is minimal calories/sugar.
Also it's -20F with wind chill and I am rethinking my "walk to and from the gym no matter what" strategy
MalReynoldsThe Hunter S Thompson of incredibly mild medicinesRegistered Userregular
edited February 2021
I ended up kind of making myself enjoy foods that I normally wouldn't; primarily, carrots and hummus. I ate a lot of that to kick the in between meals snacking habits down a fair amount. When I started working out, I couldn't do much (I was around 350 pounds} so the biggest and hardest changes came from altering what I was eating. I was maintaining a 2000 calorie a day diet, and I wasn't going over any of the fat metrics that MyFitnessPal had offered for weight loss, but it just wasn't happening. It was a slow process of figuring out what I could eat, how much, but eventually it boiled down to a diet I was comfortable with and that I could consistently stick to. It equals out to around 1,800-2000 calories a day, but a larger portion of it comes from protein.
I also still eat like... Ice cream occasionally and I had oreos and some waffles last night. It just took me a while to get to the point where I'm comfortable doing that. So much of it was finding what worked for me since I couldn't afford a trainer or someone to really lay out what exactly I should be eating; a lot of trial and error, a lot of frustrating weeks where I thought I knew what I was doing. I lurked these threads and some free fitness articles, and got pointers and ended up putting together a program that worked out pretty well for me. But the start was the hardest.
And I'm not going to lie; I was HIGHLY depressed when I started. Calorie restriction was much easier since I had no appetite. But I don't have a gym membership; I own a sum total of three weights (no pullup bar) and I only work out 3x a week for half an hour.
EDIT: I also drink a ton of caffeine {around 300mg a day from sugar free drinks} which I'm looking to cut back on. I also drink diet soda but the taste hasn't really bothered me much.
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So yeah, the thing about restructuring your diet and exercise is that no small part of it is "this sucks and I don't want to do it but I have to because my health is on the line."
A big part of it is muscling over that initial pushback you get from your body/mind. You have to make a conscious effort to retrain your tastebuds and rebuild your habits. I would absolutely love to eat a box of those hostess chocolate cupcakes instead of an apple and cheese sticks, but I don't because I know what both the short term and long term impacts to that would be. It's not easy by any stretch of the imagination. If it was we'd all be walking around with six packs.
@Tallahasseeriel to the point about living with people and not being able to control what food is in the house, you might want to put your foot down and create no fly zones for snacks/soda. Everybody gets what they want and then those snacks stay in the individual's room where only they have access to it.
So get you some healthy shit to snack on or eat, and keep it in your room just for you, devoid of any temptation from others stuff.
If nobody else in your household is wanting to eat healthier then they should respect that you are. Moving non perishable snacks and sodas out of the common kitchen area into individual rooms is a small and non inconvenient concession to make, imo.
Mal I am jealous of your neck and shoulder muscles
Most of it comes from shrugs, but when I started, I would just walk carrying the kettlebells at my sides. But not to the point of exhaustion, either. I would make myself stop because overdoing it one day meant I could easily talk myself out of underdoing another day when consistency was way more important.
Also like... sincerely, thank you. I have a lot of body image issues. That means a lot.
"A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline."
"Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback!
I've tried to get claw to work with me on the whole no fly zone for snacks and soda before but they refuse and turn it around on me like I'm being unreasonable and placing unfair demands on others when my health issues are my own fault. It's fucked.
Luckily I don't enjoy snacking anyway because like I said I eat to much. Usually leaves me feeling sick so most of the year I don't keep much snacks around. Soda is a different story though. Though honestly without snacks around I tend to get really hungry come meal times and overeat at those.
Problem is I don't like most healthy replacement snacks. I can't do carrots or celery because of the texture. Can't do nuts because my teeth suck and most of them don't taste very good except pistachio.
you gotta value what you are trying to change more than what you have now. the food will start to taste better once your body flushes out all that addictive food that doesn't actually taste good, it just conditions your mind to think that it does. for snacks I eat the shit out of granola bars and whole wheat crackers
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MalReynoldsThe Hunter S Thompson of incredibly mild medicinesRegistered Userregular
edited February 2021
Doesn't have to be complete healthy, could just be less non healthy. I eat a LOT of peanut butter crackers. My go to snack for empty calories is baked chips instead of regular, but I'll still use a dip or a salsa. Bean dips are pretty filling.
I can't do super soft foods, but black beans with spices on chips was a staple food for a bit when grocery stores were empty last year.
Edit: And recognizing that change is gradual. That's two years of trial and error and getting things wrong. But not giving up was just as important. Building yourself up as a person is another muscle that you need to grow. Be kind to yourself.
MalReynolds on
"A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline."
"Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback!
That's going to be an issue for me then. Ie don't value getting healthier physically over the toll it takes mentally.
Even when I lost all that weight 5 years ago I felt worse mentally when I was at my lightest adult weight of 300. I was always either depressed, stressed, and or furious. There was literally nothing to sooth or relax with. I was in go mode constantly and I couldn't handle it sustainably.
Because at the core of it food is the only reliable way I can get joy or contentment. Or regulate feelings. There is nothing I've ever been able to do that can replace it. It's why I'm so resistant to looking into bariatric again. I might get healthier physically but I'll probably be too depressed to care.
Well then you need to go to therapy to resolve that
we will try to help you, mate, but all we can do is give advice and support
And we will, for sure, but also like, nobody is going to say "okay then just don't cut your weight and eat what you want" and at the same time, that sounds like you are mentally struggling and it needs professional care
That's going to be an issue for me then. Ie don't value getting healthier physically over the toll it takes mentally.
Even when I lost all that weight 5 years ago I felt worse mentally when I was at my lightest adult weight of 300. I was always either depressed, stressed, and or furious. There was literally nothing to sooth or relax with. I was in go mode constantly and I couldn't handle it sustainably.
Because at the core of it food is the only reliable way I can get joy or contentment. Or regulate feelings. There is nothing I've ever been able to do that can replace it. It's why I'm so resistant to looking into bariatric again. I might get healthier physically but I'll probably be too depressed to care.
That's really, really tough and it's hard to break out of. I have a strong support circle (diminished during quarantine but ehhhhhhhhh) but I was able to find a counselor to help manage things.
But I'm serious about being nice to yourself even if you're not getting results. Little self putdowns accumulate mentally and I know it's not always possible to avoid that. But a positive word about yourself to yourself goes a long way. Even if you feel kinda dumb saying stuff out loud or even if you think it isn't all the way true.
Edit: already covered
MalReynolds on
"A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline."
"Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback!
Hey Uriel, do you still have access to therapy/DBT? No need to answer if that's too personal!
Yeah. I've had a therapist (not the same person) for years at this point.
It really doesn't help much with stuff like this.
We always have to cover other more pressing things in my brain issues department considering I only see them twice a month at most.
I've done a bit of dbt stuff in the past and it helped but kinda fell off it after that particular therapist left for maternity reasons. That's actually when I had the most success though now that I think of it. Back in 2016. I still wasn't happy but at least I was getting stuff done.
I went up to 20kgs with the push-ups today and man, they are hard.
I did all the 8 reps for the normal, canted out hands and wide-hands. The Diamond and two inverted sets I got to 6 each, and then failed, which is ace, exactly what I wanted. Glad I went to 20kgs not just 18. Just did one set of each. So now I have a target, complete a set of each. And then I'll try a repeated superset, and then when I can go that, I'll go up to 22kgs. Nice slow progression.
Hey Uriel, do you still have access to therapy/DBT? No need to answer if that's too personal!
Yeah. I've had a therapist (not the same person) for years at this point.
It really doesn't help much with stuff like this.
We always have to cover other more pressing things in my brain issues department considering I only see them twice a month at most.
I've done a bit of dbt stuff in the past and it helped but kinda fell off it after that particular therapist left for maternity reasons. That's actually when I had the most success though now that I think of it. Back in 2016. I still wasn't happy but at least I was getting stuff done.
I've also found those techniques super helpful!
I know you get a lot of advice about how/what/when to eat here, let me try something different--maybe carve out 15-20 min your next therapy sesh to talk about coping mechanisms?
I still use food as a coping mechanism an awful lot, so it's tough when folks suggest "eat better/eat differently!" because it's not about being hungry its about being anxious/activated/traumatized/etc. and food is a tool I use to get me out of those feelings (sadness + dopamine hit from soda/candy/food = temporarily less sadness, and that math works super reliably every time).
But maybe your therapist can help you develop new/different coping skills that don't involve food (I've been working on this a lot the past year, with some varying success!)
Hey Uriel, do you still have access to therapy/DBT? No need to answer if that's too personal!
Yeah. I've had a therapist (not the same person) for years at this point.
It really doesn't help much with stuff like this.
We always have to cover other more pressing things in my brain issues department considering I only see them twice a month at most.
I've done a bit of dbt stuff in the past and it helped but kinda fell off it after that particular therapist left for maternity reasons. That's actually when I had the most success though now that I think of it. Back in 2016. I still wasn't happy but at least I was getting stuff done.
I've also found those techniques super helpful!
I know you get a lot of advice about how/what/when to eat here, let me try something different--maybe carve out 15-20 min your next therapy sesh to talk about coping mechanisms?
I still use food as a coping mechanism an awful lot, so it's tough when folks suggest "eat better/eat differently!" because it's not about being hungry its about being anxious/activated/traumatized/etc. and food is a tool I use to get me out of those feelings (sadness + dopamine hit from soda/candy/food = temporarily less sadness, and that math works super reliably every time).
But maybe your therapist can help you develop new/different coping skills that don't involve food (I've been working on this a lot the past year, with some varying success!)
Thanks usagi.
You understand what I'm trying to say better than I do.
I really appreciate it.
I think I should work on getting more structure to my therapist sessions. Understandably I think most of the past year has been scatter shot putting out emotional fires as they spring up... It might help to be a little more proactive in tackling them.
You mind if I send you a pm later about how to approach my therapist and my pcp that I see on Friday about all my concerns?
Absolutely PM away my dude, I'm off work today but the rest of the week is pretty busy so don't be discouraged if it takes me a bit to respond!
Just try and remember, these coping mechanisms have saved our lives, they've given us a way to self-regulate overwhelming feelings when Bad Shit has happened/is happening--it's just that maybe now we've grown out of these coping mechanisms and need news ones that aren't simultaneously helping our emotions and harming our health.
@MalReynolds you do look fantastic! Your arms and shoulders especially.
Tracking is tough but I really did need it. Despite the daily exercise I realize I wasn’t being nearly as active as I could have been. Tracking calories on MFP isn’t too laborious given the enormous database. I think the hardest part is trying to work out portion sizes of large recipes; ie we may divide it by 4 but the kids eat less than the adults, but also we have some leftovers.
In terms of nutrients I could definitely up my protein. My sugar intake is below MLP’s default allowance for me but above the recommended daily intake, but it’s also mostly from fruit at this time.
Sleep... well, I averaged below 5 hours this weekend. D’oh.
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MalReynoldsThe Hunter S Thompson of incredibly mild medicinesRegistered Userregular
@MalReynolds you do look fantastic! Your arms and shoulders especially.
Tracking is tough but I really did need it. Despite the daily exercise I realize I wasn’t being nearly as active as I could have been. Tracking calories on MFP isn’t too laborious given the enormous database. I think the hardest part is trying to work out portion sizes of large recipes; ie we may divide it by 4 but the kids eat less than the adults, but also we have some leftovers.
In terms of nutrients I could definitely up my protein. My sugar intake is below MLP’s default allowance for me but above the recommended daily intake, but it’s also mostly from fruit at this time.
Sleep... well, I averaged below 5 hours this weekend. D’oh.
Thanks! Torso is taking some time since I used to be so big but I started doing leg raises from laying down as well as some bicycle kicks and planking.
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And yeah the migraines are concerning. I get the aura more than the extreme pain usually because I'll eat something and feel better after a few minutes. It sucks because when the aura starts I can't see shit. It would be unsafe if say it happened while I was driving. It's like when you get your pupils dilated at the optometrist office. Everything looks like fireworks.
Don't just suddenly cut 500 calories out, decrease by 100 a week (or even 50) until you get there
If you can't walk without physical pain and immediate exhaustion that might be something to visit a doctor about, though.
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Have you replaced the caffeine from the Dr. Pepper that you were drinking? Headaches are a very common symptom of caffeine withdrawal. Along with depression, anxiety, and low energy, among others.
Honestly I haven't had the mental bandwidth to even track my calories in a few weeks either. It's hard to open an app every time I eat, weigh everything, look up and find the exact right entry when there isn't a good match for stuff when the barcode doesn't work... It's exhausting.
I know that you’ve said in the past that you don’t like diet pop, but maybe try coffee or strong teas? I drink plenty of coffee with a no-sweetener cashew milk; the milk is 25 calories per cup and I go through 8-12 cups a week. And maybe try to hit the sugar cravings with fruit? I find that apples are pretty good for that.
And what I meant is that I'm still drinking soda again, since I started after a day without my meds... I'm not drinking as much of it but still like 20 to 40oz a day. It's hard. Quitting it literally makes want to die.
That's actually not a bad idea. I just don't know how practical it would be for me. I don't have any space in my tiny ass apartment so I'd have to set it up at my mom's who lives 30 minutes away from me.
But I do like swinging heavy things. If I ever buy a house I legit want a wood burning furnace so I have an excuse to chop wood.
You may at minimum want to consult with a dietician or nutrition coach to help you stay on track if you're struggling and want professional support, but if quitting soda makes you feel that way then realistically that's probably more in the purview of your therapist
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I'm not at all suggesting that you kick caffeine. What I'm suggesting is that by cutting out or cutting down on pop, you may be putting yourself into caffeine withdrawal. It's possible that you're misattributing your body's signals - it might not be the sugar deficit causing headaches, it might be the caffeine withdrawal. In which case, you may be able to treat your headaches and other problems in whole or part by going for coffee or tea rather than going for Dr. Pepper. One somewhat common factor among people who successfully lose weight is cutting out liquid calories. You may want to try a strategy of dealing with your pop cravings by instead having coffee/tea/diet pop and something to eat. Have some eggs or chicken or oatmeal or fruit or cheese or nuts or legumes or popcorn or whatever. Try to shift those calories into something more filling, while attacking the caffeine craving with some zero/low calorie liquid.
Let me tell you, it makes riding a bike very difficult. It was very frustrating!
That's what I said I already do?
The only thing I don't do is eat something when I get a sugar craving. Because it's not like always hungry sensation. It's more of a huge mood crash. And nothing I like to snack on is good for me as a replacement. Usually too fatty or carby.
Also really hard to eat just a small portion of a snack. So I tend to avoid snack foods overall week I can. Because I'll just keep going until they are gone. I've got some goldfish near right now for an example and meant to have like one handful earlier but have gone back for like 5 by now.
Like, if you don't have em, you can't eat em!
That's what I try for. But not totally under my control because I don't live alone
This right here worked for me. I filled my fridge and cupboards with foods that I enjoyed, but didn’t enjoy so much that I would binge on. I know that certain foods, if they’re in the house, I will devour them way ahead of any planned schedule. For example, if I buy trail mix, I know that I’ll eat the bag in three days or less. So if and when I do get trail mix, it’s in the weekend, usually a long weekend, and I plan for the idea that I’ll snack on it uncontrollably.
A friend of mine IRL uses Weight Watchers zero point foods as her guide to snacking. If she’s hungry enough to eat some chickpeas or fry up some zucchini and cauliflower and broccoli in a tiny bit of olive oil with salt and pepper, she’ll happily do it. But she doesn’t keep processed snacks in her house - otherwise it’s way too tempting for her to grab and handful or three.
I think that the easiest way to resist temptation is to avoid having it as an option.
I'm not losing weight, but I'm not gaining either so considering I basically don't exercise indoors, I'm calling it a win
come on spring. I need to get outside.
Also it's -20F with wind chill and I am rethinking my "walk to and from the gym no matter what" strategy
I also still eat like... Ice cream occasionally and I had oreos and some waffles last night. It just took me a while to get to the point where I'm comfortable doing that. So much of it was finding what worked for me since I couldn't afford a trainer or someone to really lay out what exactly I should be eating; a lot of trial and error, a lot of frustrating weeks where I thought I knew what I was doing. I lurked these threads and some free fitness articles, and got pointers and ended up putting together a program that worked out pretty well for me. But the start was the hardest.
And I'm not going to lie; I was HIGHLY depressed when I started. Calorie restriction was much easier since I had no appetite. But I don't have a gym membership; I own a sum total of three weights (no pullup bar) and I only work out 3x a week for half an hour.
EDIT: I also drink a ton of caffeine {around 300mg a day from sugar free drinks} which I'm looking to cut back on. I also drink diet soda but the taste hasn't really bothered me much.
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"Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor
My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback!
A big part of it is muscling over that initial pushback you get from your body/mind. You have to make a conscious effort to retrain your tastebuds and rebuild your habits. I would absolutely love to eat a box of those hostess chocolate cupcakes instead of an apple and cheese sticks, but I don't because I know what both the short term and long term impacts to that would be. It's not easy by any stretch of the imagination. If it was we'd all be walking around with six packs.
@Tallahasseeriel to the point about living with people and not being able to control what food is in the house, you might want to put your foot down and create no fly zones for snacks/soda. Everybody gets what they want and then those snacks stay in the individual's room where only they have access to it.
So get you some healthy shit to snack on or eat, and keep it in your room just for you, devoid of any temptation from others stuff.
If nobody else in your household is wanting to eat healthier then they should respect that you are. Moving non perishable snacks and sodas out of the common kitchen area into individual rooms is a small and non inconvenient concession to make, imo.
Most of it comes from shrugs, but when I started, I would just walk carrying the kettlebells at my sides. But not to the point of exhaustion, either. I would make myself stop because overdoing it one day meant I could easily talk myself out of underdoing another day when consistency was way more important.
Also like... sincerely, thank you. I have a lot of body image issues. That means a lot.
"Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor
My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback!
Luckily I don't enjoy snacking anyway because like I said I eat to much. Usually leaves me feeling sick so most of the year I don't keep much snacks around. Soda is a different story though. Though honestly without snacks around I tend to get really hungry come meal times and overeat at those.
Problem is I don't like most healthy replacement snacks. I can't do carrots or celery because of the texture. Can't do nuts because my teeth suck and most of them don't taste very good except pistachio.
I can't do super soft foods, but black beans with spices on chips was a staple food for a bit when grocery stores were empty last year.
Edit: And recognizing that change is gradual. That's two years of trial and error and getting things wrong. But not giving up was just as important. Building yourself up as a person is another muscle that you need to grow. Be kind to yourself.
"Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor
My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback!
Even when I lost all that weight 5 years ago I felt worse mentally when I was at my lightest adult weight of 300. I was always either depressed, stressed, and or furious. There was literally nothing to sooth or relax with. I was in go mode constantly and I couldn't handle it sustainably.
Because at the core of it food is the only reliable way I can get joy or contentment. Or regulate feelings. There is nothing I've ever been able to do that can replace it. It's why I'm so resistant to looking into bariatric again. I might get healthier physically but I'll probably be too depressed to care.
we will try to help you, mate, but all we can do is give advice and support
And we will, for sure, but also like, nobody is going to say "okay then just don't cut your weight and eat what you want" and at the same time, that sounds like you are mentally struggling and it needs professional care
That's really, really tough and it's hard to break out of. I have a strong support circle (diminished during quarantine but ehhhhhhhhh) but I was able to find a counselor to help manage things.
But I'm serious about being nice to yourself even if you're not getting results. Little self putdowns accumulate mentally and I know it's not always possible to avoid that. But a positive word about yourself to yourself goes a long way. Even if you feel kinda dumb saying stuff out loud or even if you think it isn't all the way true.
Edit: already covered
"Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor
My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback!
Yeah. I've had a therapist (not the same person) for years at this point.
It really doesn't help much with stuff like this.
We always have to cover other more pressing things in my brain issues department considering I only see them twice a month at most.
I've done a bit of dbt stuff in the past and it helped but kinda fell off it after that particular therapist left for maternity reasons. That's actually when I had the most success though now that I think of it. Back in 2016. I still wasn't happy but at least I was getting stuff done.
I did all the 8 reps for the normal, canted out hands and wide-hands. The Diamond and two inverted sets I got to 6 each, and then failed, which is ace, exactly what I wanted. Glad I went to 20kgs not just 18. Just did one set of each. So now I have a target, complete a set of each. And then I'll try a repeated superset, and then when I can go that, I'll go up to 22kgs. Nice slow progression.
I've also found those techniques super helpful!
I know you get a lot of advice about how/what/when to eat here, let me try something different--maybe carve out 15-20 min your next therapy sesh to talk about coping mechanisms?
I still use food as a coping mechanism an awful lot, so it's tough when folks suggest "eat better/eat differently!" because it's not about being hungry its about being anxious/activated/traumatized/etc. and food is a tool I use to get me out of those feelings (sadness + dopamine hit from soda/candy/food = temporarily less sadness, and that math works super reliably every time).
But maybe your therapist can help you develop new/different coping skills that don't involve food (I've been working on this a lot the past year, with some varying success!)
Thanks usagi.
You understand what I'm trying to say better than I do.
I really appreciate it.
I think I should work on getting more structure to my therapist sessions. Understandably I think most of the past year has been scatter shot putting out emotional fires as they spring up... It might help to be a little more proactive in tackling them.
You mind if I send you a pm later about how to approach my therapist and my pcp that I see on Friday about all my concerns?
Just try and remember, these coping mechanisms have saved our lives, they've given us a way to self-regulate overwhelming feelings when Bad Shit has happened/is happening--it's just that maybe now we've grown out of these coping mechanisms and need news ones that aren't simultaneously helping our emotions and harming our health.
i think me and my partner are gonna play some fitness boxing on the switch and call it good enough.
maybe do some squats in my underwear in front of our window. who knows.
Tracking is tough but I really did need it. Despite the daily exercise I realize I wasn’t being nearly as active as I could have been. Tracking calories on MFP isn’t too laborious given the enormous database. I think the hardest part is trying to work out portion sizes of large recipes; ie we may divide it by 4 but the kids eat less than the adults, but also we have some leftovers.
In terms of nutrients I could definitely up my protein. My sugar intake is below MLP’s default allowance for me but above the recommended daily intake, but it’s also mostly from fruit at this time.
Sleep... well, I averaged below 5 hours this weekend. D’oh.
Thanks! Torso is taking some time since I used to be so big but I started doing leg raises from laying down as well as some bicycle kicks and planking.
"Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor
My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback!