Mall ninjas were not very good at stealth back in the day, but nowadays they are excellent.
Look around all you want, can’t find a single mall ninja anymore. They got too good.
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JedocIn the scupperswith the staggers and jagsRegistered Userregular
I was driving my nephews to the bone museum the other day and we passed the Old Paris Flea Market. They asked what a flea market is and I told them it was a hundred garage sales plus three dudes selling bootleg tshirts and throwing stars and I'm surprised they didn't wrest the steering wheel out of my hands then and there.
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minor incidentexpert in a dying fieldnjRegistered Userregular
Don’t forget the one dude selling an unnerving collection of animal bones.
Ah, it stinks, it sucks, it's anthropologically unjust
I loved Long Live The Queen and Black Closet, two games with heavily branching and systemic narratives and a lot of juicy melodrama, mystery and romance. Now developers Hanako Games have released something new. Night Cascades is a lesbian romance about two women investigating a supernatural mystery in an alternate 1980s, and it looks great.
Griphook: "The right to carry a wand has long been contested between wizards and goblins."
Ronald Weasley: "Well, goblins can do magic without wands."
Griphook: "That is immaterial! Wizards refuse to share the secrets of wandlore with other magical beings, they deny us the possibility of extending our powers!"
— Griphook's opinion on how wizards and witches have treated goblins unfairly[src]
Villainous goblin has a good point.
Edit:
He became a temporary acting Minister for Magic in 1752, and later was elected a regular Minister several times after his predecessor Basil Flack was forced to resign after two months, during the height of the Goblin Rebellions (the goblins had just joined forces with the werewolves). Gore successfully put down a number of revolts by the magical beings, although historians feel his refusal to contemplate rehabilitation programmes for werewolves ultimately led to more attacks.[2] One such revolt took place in 1762, in which goblin rebel Vargot was killed in battle — a popular historical theory that may have not been proved is that Vargot was really a renegade house-elf.[4]
Harry Potter lore is batshit in a bad way.
Couscous on
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JedocIn the scupperswith the staggers and jagsRegistered Userregular
I loved Long Live The Queen and Black Closet, two games with heavily branching and systemic narratives and a lot of juicy melodrama, mystery and romance. Now developers Hanako Games have released something new. Night Cascades is a lesbian romance about two women investigating a supernatural mystery in an alternate 1980s, and it looks great.
I loved Long Live The Queen and Black Closet, two games with heavily branching and systemic narratives and a lot of juicy melodrama, mystery and romance. Now developers Hanako Games have released something new. Night Cascades is a lesbian romance about two women investigating a supernatural mystery in an alternate 1980s, and it looks great.
it's also extremely confusing that there's any human/wizard pairings at all considering at no point in the franchise does it indicate that wizards have any remote interest in living in the regular world
You just find a comely looking muggle and then kidnap them
I managed to get an ending but it was kinda boring, and all my attempts to get other endings were met with horrible deaths, so I just kinda gave up after a while. Although, maybe being a magical girl and saving the kingdom with the power of song being a boring ending says things about me...
FencingsaxIt is difficult to get a man to understand, when his salary depends upon his not understandingGNU Terry PratchettRegistered Userregular
I just don't understand why WB decided to spend money on that. Like, there is no part of this that ends with them looking good, and it's possible they may not make much money, even though they might.
All Fortnite proceeds from Epic and Microsoft from today until April 3rd are being donated to humanitarian relief for Ukraine
Today is the start of a new Fortnite season, which is probably the most profitable part of every season, because everyone is buying the battle pass and new skins. This could be A LOT of money.
Crippl3 on
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Indie Winterdie KräheRudi Hurzlmeier (German, b. 1952)Registered Userregular
this unexpected largess reminds me, how is the epic vs apple court case going
Don’t forget the one dude selling an unnerving collection of animal bones.
I have a racoon skull along with some mystery bones in my car in the center console. Maybe vulture bones? I dunno, I found em on the roof at work so they're either a vulture's or something they brought up there and ate/vomited. My best friend also found some random animal bones at work and she keeps em in her car too
I just don't understand why WB decided to spend money on that. Like, there is no part of this that ends with them looking good, and it's possible they may not make much money, even though they might.
Assuming we're talking about the Hogwarts game, it's absolutely going to make a lot of money, and it's probably best to brace yourself for that now. People still love that universe and people are extremely good at justifying buying things they want to buy to themselves.
One thing I'd say about the Hogwarts game is that there are fundamental pillars to the world-building that just don't work and increasingly don't work as people look at it. Many of these get worse if you go back in time, unless they do what the Star Trek reboot did and intentionally split off from the timeline. I can look at the premise of the game, where you're tasked with helping to stop a goblin rebellion and then, over the course of the game, realize that the goblins are in the right. For all of the original series' problems with race, it did at least concede that racism was actually bad and that, you know, the house elves were hard done by, even if it was less, "these people are oppressed," and more, "you can tell this person is bad because he abuses his dog." There's a path forward where, divorced from JK Rowling's direct influence, you can make some changes and tell a slightly more complicated story.
The one-two punch of this having to exist as a prequel to the existing series, meaning that some stuff is probably just...set in stone, and the fact that video games have a terrible history with telling stories about things like rebellions for a multitude of reasons, means that even if they do go, "well, the goblins have a point," they'll probably also follow it up with something like, "but the goblin just attacked an orphanage, so even if he's right, he's gone ]i]too far[/i]
+7
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Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
As a certified Baby Gamer Who is Bad, this is the first thing I've seen of this game that makes me tempted to buy it. But I have a real mental block about not wanting to try any other Fromsoft games until unless I manage to beat Dark Souls first.
fromsoft fans have made it pretty clear that my tendency to play games on lower difficulty settings is actually a moral failing on my part, and also killing art somehow, so I'm good with never touching their work
One thing I'd say about the Hogwarts game is that there are fundamental pillars to the world-building that just don't work and increasingly don't work as people look at it. Many of these get worse if you go back in time, unless they do what the Star Trek reboot did and intentionally split off from the timeline. I can look at the premise of the game, where you're tasked with helping to stop a goblin rebellion and then, over the course of the game, realize that the goblins are in the right. For all of the original series' problems with race, it did at least concede that racism was actually bad and that, you know, the house elves were hard done by, even if it was less, "these people are oppressed," and more, "you can tell this person is bad because he abuses his dog." There's a path forward where, divorced from JK Rowling's direct influence, you can make some changes and tell a slightly more complicated story.
The one-two punch of this having to exist as a prequel to the existing series, meaning that some stuff is probably just...set in stone, and the fact that video games have a terrible history with telling stories about things like rebellions for a multitude of reasons, means that even if they do go, "well, the goblins have a point," they'll probably also follow it up with something like, "but the goblin just attacked an orphanage, so even if he's right, he's gone ]i]too far[/i]
The thing is that the license holders and Rowling herself don’t seem to realise why Harry Potter was popular. Exemplified by the abomination that is the fantastic beasts series
And it’s not really the extended lore and world building that fans like, not deep down. Instead it’s specifically the setting of Hogwarts as it is in the books related to Harry Potter and his friends and foes. Most of the “world building” that’s fun or memorable is off hand stuff that’s not delved into because it’s a kids adventure setting first and foremost. Trying to focus on the lore, explaining it, fleshing it out, is something that’s not in anyones interests, even if it was done well and they somehow managed to patchwork together a decent setting. It’s just not the point, people are here for butterbears and silly spells, any effort spent on anything other than that, and of having a likeable group of core characters do adventurous things is a waste of everyone’s time.
Also the setting isn’t just “magic world”. Harry Potter set in any time really prior to maybe Harry’s parents generation is just not going to feel the same, and capture the same feeling as the original books. To work it also needs the idea of a kind of vague “current/modern” world, and escaping from that into a magical vaguely medieval (but the fun kind) world. It’s that transition, that contrast, that’s the heart of the settings appeal.
The fantastic beasts movies are absolute disasters on every level, but they also just miss that an important part of the setting that fans like is the modern world and how the kind of old timey magic world contrasts with it. That and it’s not set in a school, with kids!
The game is at least set in a magic school, but it should be set in the modern world to get the full use out of the setting. Most fans of Harry Potter have very little interest in the extended world building outside of how it relates to the core gang of heroes. And so if you can’t use them, or their kids, or their parents, you’re going to have an uphill battle getting it to work
also most fans LIKE that the origins and roots, no matter how “dark and adult” it gets, are firmly within a kids book. Stop making things about genocide and rebellions, start making things fucking light and fun again, and then see if you have enough support and grounding to go anywhere even remotely young adult with it
I have no doubt Rowlings iron grip on controlling anything related to Harry Potter and his friends means that all new projects will be garbage, because fans want to see the heroes, or characters relating to those heroes. And tangential straw grabbing, like having young dumbedore but he’s not really anything like the dumbedore fans liked, isn’t going to cut it.
Prohass on
+3
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Indie Winterdie KräheRudi Hurzlmeier (German, b. 1952)Registered Userregular
edited March 2022
I still believe "rockstar's bully but magic" is a sound concept that should be explored fully
edit: and to be clear, this upcoming game very much isn't that
I still believe "rockstar's bully but magic" is a sound concept that should be explored fully
edit: and to be clear, this upcoming game very much isn't that
You’re going to Hogwarts, but you’re Harry’s kids and hermoine and Ron’s kids. It’s your first year, and a sinister plot is afoot in Hogwarts!
There, print money WB
Likely they’re saving this for a new movie series, or Rowling wants control of it for a book series though
But hell, choose any character and follow them. Harry’s parents during the first rise of Voldemort. Maybe the new generation but just not the main crew, have Luna lovegoods kids, or so on and so forth. Also maybe have your main character to start in the muggle world, and have a similar introduction to the world of wizardry that Harry did. Because that’s part of the fun!
I imagine Rowling would shut all this down as she’d want to protect these plot threads for herself tho
I just really hate the idea of setting it in the 1890s. It’s like a hat on a hat for the setting
I still believe "rockstar's bully but magic" is a sound concept that should be explored fully
edit: and to be clear, this upcoming game very much isn't that
Also, Harry should have to practice kissing with Draco, or whatever that minigame was.
Help Dumbledore hook up with some guy
Honestly helping two teachers who are too befuddled or nervous to like go on a date, playing Cupid, would genuinely be great and work with the setting. It’s just such a waste to have it some dumb war or rebellion happen in it. Just have school stuff! At worst a spooky dungeon with a moustache twirling villain
Posts
well not anymore, there's no malls
Look around all you want, can’t find a single mall ninja anymore. They got too good.
Never dated a goth girl I see
You can't just say those and not give us more details! (Unless this based off already established idiocy like the toilet incident which yep)
Steam: https://steamcommunity.com/id/TheZombiePenguin
Stream: https://www.twitch.tv/thezombiepenguin/
Switch: 0293 6817 9891
Dating isn't real though pip
Part of my previous job was… ugh… “influencer relations.”
He was just a giant, self important twerp to deal with. More so than most influencers. Which is saying a lot!
Https://www.rockpapershotgun.com/night-cascades-is-a-supernatural-mystery-from-the-maker-of-long-live-the-queen
Man, I wish.
Edit: Harry Potter lore is batshit in a bad way.
Man, I don't know if I'm hardcore enough for that. Long Live the Queen pretty much broke me. It's the Dark Souls of computer games.
It’s about time someone made a dark souls of computer games.
You just find a comely looking muggle and then kidnap them
Love potions do the rest
My all falconry playthrough did not go swimmingly.
Steam profile.
Getting started with BATTLETECH: Part 1 / Part 2
All Fortnite proceeds from Epic and Microsoft from today until April 3rd are being donated to humanitarian relief for Ukraine
Today is the start of a new Fortnite season, which is probably the most profitable part of every season, because everyone is buying the battle pass and new skins. This could be A LOT of money.
I have a racoon skull along with some mystery bones in my car in the center console. Maybe vulture bones? I dunno, I found em on the roof at work so they're either a vulture's or something they brought up there and ate/vomited. My best friend also found some random animal bones at work and she keeps em in her car too
Assuming we're talking about the Hogwarts game, it's absolutely going to make a lot of money, and it's probably best to brace yourself for that now. People still love that universe and people are extremely good at justifying buying things they want to buy to themselves.
The one-two punch of this having to exist as a prequel to the existing series, meaning that some stuff is probably just...set in stone, and the fact that video games have a terrible history with telling stories about things like rebellions for a multitude of reasons, means that even if they do go, "well, the goblins have a point," they'll probably also follow it up with something like, "but the goblin just attacked an orphanage, so even if he's right, he's gone ]i]too far[/i]
As a certified Baby Gamer Who is Bad, this is the first thing I've seen of this game that makes me tempted to buy it. But I have a real mental block about not wanting to try any other Fromsoft games until unless I manage to beat Dark Souls first.
The thing is that the license holders and Rowling herself don’t seem to realise why Harry Potter was popular. Exemplified by the abomination that is the fantastic beasts series
And it’s not really the extended lore and world building that fans like, not deep down. Instead it’s specifically the setting of Hogwarts as it is in the books related to Harry Potter and his friends and foes. Most of the “world building” that’s fun or memorable is off hand stuff that’s not delved into because it’s a kids adventure setting first and foremost. Trying to focus on the lore, explaining it, fleshing it out, is something that’s not in anyones interests, even if it was done well and they somehow managed to patchwork together a decent setting. It’s just not the point, people are here for butterbears and silly spells, any effort spent on anything other than that, and of having a likeable group of core characters do adventurous things is a waste of everyone’s time.
Also the setting isn’t just “magic world”. Harry Potter set in any time really prior to maybe Harry’s parents generation is just not going to feel the same, and capture the same feeling as the original books. To work it also needs the idea of a kind of vague “current/modern” world, and escaping from that into a magical vaguely medieval (but the fun kind) world. It’s that transition, that contrast, that’s the heart of the settings appeal.
The fantastic beasts movies are absolute disasters on every level, but they also just miss that an important part of the setting that fans like is the modern world and how the kind of old timey magic world contrasts with it. That and it’s not set in a school, with kids!
The game is at least set in a magic school, but it should be set in the modern world to get the full use out of the setting. Most fans of Harry Potter have very little interest in the extended world building outside of how it relates to the core gang of heroes. And so if you can’t use them, or their kids, or their parents, you’re going to have an uphill battle getting it to work
also most fans LIKE that the origins and roots, no matter how “dark and adult” it gets, are firmly within a kids book. Stop making things about genocide and rebellions, start making things fucking light and fun again, and then see if you have enough support and grounding to go anywhere even remotely young adult with it
I have no doubt Rowlings iron grip on controlling anything related to Harry Potter and his friends means that all new projects will be garbage, because fans want to see the heroes, or characters relating to those heroes. And tangential straw grabbing, like having young dumbedore but he’s not really anything like the dumbedore fans liked, isn’t going to cut it.
edit: and to be clear, this upcoming game very much isn't that
You’re going to Hogwarts, but you’re Harry’s kids and hermoine and Ron’s kids. It’s your first year, and a sinister plot is afoot in Hogwarts!
There, print money WB
Likely they’re saving this for a new movie series, or Rowling wants control of it for a book series though
But hell, choose any character and follow them. Harry’s parents during the first rise of Voldemort. Maybe the new generation but just not the main crew, have Luna lovegoods kids, or so on and so forth. Also maybe have your main character to start in the muggle world, and have a similar introduction to the world of wizardry that Harry did. Because that’s part of the fun!
I imagine Rowling would shut all this down as she’d want to protect these plot threads for herself tho
I just really hate the idea of setting it in the 1890s. It’s like a hat on a hat for the setting
Help Dumbledore hook up with some guy
Honestly helping two teachers who are too befuddled or nervous to like go on a date, playing Cupid, would genuinely be great and work with the setting. It’s just such a waste to have it some dumb war or rebellion happen in it. Just have school stuff! At worst a spooky dungeon with a moustache twirling villain