But if you're going to talk psychology, I'd like to know what aspects of the position can become offensive and to what mindset.
I think I've already mentioned some. The man is generally in a more "dominant" position (in control of pace and intensity, and even generally physically above his partner). Also, a lack of perceived intimacy (due to not facing each other), which is only heightened by the lack of control on the part of the woman. For somebody who doesn't particularly enjoy the position...as in, doesn't find it particularly physically pleasurable...and who has any sexual hang-ups in general (whether societal, personal, or religious) this can easily lead to feeling either "used" or "dirty."
I'll agree that in most cases any issues with this position probably point to larger sexual issues in general...but there are also aspects of this position that tend to exacerbate those issues.
Woman find it demeaning because it is seen by some as a sexual position of power. Basically, from doggy, you control everything, thus the woman thinks of it as the man is owning her and her controlling her.
This is from women I have talked to. The girlrfriend has absolutely no problem with it.
I could see some peoples problems with doggy as it can allow changing lanes without signaling easier (IE going for an unexpected anal encounter). Though isn't the thing with any sexual position to discuss it with your partner first, find what they want and like, and what you want and like and what works best for your bodies to achieve sexual satisfaction?
I mean you are in bed so intimacy is already there, is it that hard to ask what they would prefer?
Preacher on
I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.
How can doggy-style possibly be demeaning? It's one of the best ways to pleasure the both of you.
Says you.
Well, he is a Rear Admiral.
*rimshot*
But seriously, what ever happened to 'consenting adults' here? Don't consenting adults have adult, mature discussions about things in their sex life that they want or are uncomfortable with? If two people are going to engage in intercourse for pleasure or an act of love and intimacy, in either case they should at least be able to discuss the matter in advance and after the fact.
If you can't have that open a discussion with your partner, you shouldn't be having sex. One might point out that many cultures have taboos about such things, but open communication (in my opinion) is vital for a healthy and fulfilling sex life. Just because some (if not many) people feel it's impossible to talk about doesn't make it alright not to talk about it. Shame, inadequacy and other negative thoughts and emotions in regards to sex does nothing to further our understanding of one another, and as such, shouldn't be supported as a sterling example of how to be intimate with another person.
Forar on
First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKER!
I could see some peoples problems with doggy as it can allow changing lanes without signaling easier (IE going for an unexpected anal encounter). Though isn't the thing with any sexual position to discuss it with your partner first, find what they want and like, and what you want and like and what works best for your bodies to achieve sexual satisfaction?
I mean you are in bed so intimacy is already there, is it that hard to ask what they would prefer?
Are you insane?
"Well, here we are at last. Now, what positions would you prefer to partake in tonight? Does 'doggy' sound okay?"
I could see some peoples problems with doggy as it can allow changing lanes without signaling easier (IE going for an unexpected anal encounter). Though isn't the thing with any sexual position to discuss it with your partner first, find what they want and like, and what you want and like and what works best for your bodies to achieve sexual satisfaction?
I mean you are in bed so intimacy is already there, is it that hard to ask what they would prefer?
Are you insane?
"Well, here we are at last. Now, what positions would you prefer to partake in tonight? Does 'doggy' sound okay?"
What the fuck, people can't talk during sex? Or discuss their sex life while they're not having sex?
I could see some peoples problems with doggy as it can allow changing lanes without signaling easier (IE going for an unexpected anal encounter). Though isn't the thing with any sexual position to discuss it with your partner first, find what they want and like, and what you want and like and what works best for your bodies to achieve sexual satisfaction?
I mean you are in bed so intimacy is already there, is it that hard to ask what they would prefer?
Are you insane?
"Well, here we are at last. Now, what positions would you prefer to partake in tonight? Does 'doggy' sound okay?"
I could see some peoples problems with doggy as it can allow changing lanes without signaling easier (IE going for an unexpected anal encounter). Though isn't the thing with any sexual position to discuss it with your partner first, find what they want and like, and what you want and like and what works best for your bodies to achieve sexual satisfaction?
I mean you are in bed so intimacy is already there, is it that hard to ask what they would prefer?
Are you insane?
"Well, here we are at last. Now, what positions would you prefer to partake in tonight? Does 'doggy' sound okay?"
What the fuck, people can't talk during sex? Or discuss their sex life while they're not having sex?
During, yes. But actually having a discussion beforehand regarding the particulars can be a moodkill. At least for the girls I've been with. Sometimes you have to find out along the way. If there's communication, your partner will tell you during and you'll actually be sensitive enough to listen.
I could see some peoples problems with doggy as it can allow changing lanes without signaling easier (IE going for an unexpected anal encounter). Though isn't the thing with any sexual position to discuss it with your partner first, find what they want and like, and what you want and like and what works best for your bodies to achieve sexual satisfaction?
I mean you are in bed so intimacy is already there, is it that hard to ask what they would prefer?
Are you insane?
"Well, here we are at last. Now, what positions would you prefer to partake in tonight? Does 'doggy' sound okay?"
What the fuck, people can't talk during sex? Or discuss their sex life while they're not having sex?
During, yes. But actually having a discussion beforehand regarding the particulars can be a moodkill. At least for the girls I've been with. Sometimes you have to find out along the way. If there's communication, your partner will tell you during and you'll actually be sensitive enough to listen.
Oh my god. You're a "slip it in on accident" kind of guy. I just know it!
I'd guess this is where the myth that it's thought of as demeaning comes into play. From an abstract point of view, yeah, that makes the woman a bitch. Of course, from a realistic point of view, that's the classic "book by its cover" situation.
I could see some peoples problems with doggy as it can allow changing lanes without signaling easier (IE going for an unexpected anal encounter). Though isn't the thing with any sexual position to discuss it with your partner first, find what they want and like, and what you want and like and what works best for your bodies to achieve sexual satisfaction?
I mean you are in bed so intimacy is already there, is it that hard to ask what they would prefer?
Are you insane?
"Well, here we are at last. Now, what positions would you prefer to partake in tonight? Does 'doggy' sound okay?"
What the fuck, people can't talk during sex? Or discuss their sex life while they're not having sex?
During, yes. But actually having a discussion beforehand regarding the particulars can be a moodkill. At least for the girls I've been with. Sometimes you have to find out along the way. If there's communication, your partner will tell you during and you'll actually be sensitive enough to listen.
Oh my god. You're a "slip it in on accident" kind of guy. I just know it!
During, yes. But actually having a discussion beforehand regarding the particulars can be a moodkill.
Oh my god. You're a "slip it in on accident" kind of guy. I just know it!
Shocking expose; craftily designed banter, inuendo and outright discussion can be part of foreplay! The mind is the most powerful sexual organ that you can stimulate, and a little warming up chatter can be just as effective as a 'cold' talk while lounging around.
Pro tip; unless you know your partner REALLY well, I find it's often best to err on the side of caution.
Forar on
First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKER!
During, yes. But actually having a discussion beforehand regarding the particulars can be a moodkill. At least for the girls I've been with. Sometimes you have to find out along the way. If there's communication, your partner will tell you during and you'll actually be sensitive enough to listen.
My girlfriend and I do sometimes. Mostly because of our general inexperience and some positions are just plain difficult for us right now and we'll sometimes discuss whether or not we want to try and make something work. It doesn't ruin it for us at all.
I have heard the objection to doggystyle before, usually in one of several forms:
1) The idea that men get all the pleasure out of it, or that men want to feel dominant in their sexual position, and that doggystyle is a mild form of submission
2) The idea that doggystyle is the manner in which animals have sex, and that it reduces the sexual act to an animalistic one, or the woman to an animal
During, yes. But actually having a discussion beforehand regarding the particulars can be a moodkill. At least for the girls I've been with. Sometimes you have to find out along the way. If there's communication, your partner will tell you during and you'll actually be sensitive enough to listen.
My girlfriend and I do sometimes. Mostly because of our general inexperience and some positions are just plain difficult for us right now and we'll sometimes discuss whether or not we want to try and make something work. It doesn't ruin it for us at all.
Then again we're both pretty weird.
That makes sense. If you've been together a while, you'll obviously want to explore your options more in-depth.
I have heard the objection to doggystyle before, usually in one of several forms:
1) The idea that men get all the pleasure out of it, or that men want to feel dominant in their sexual position, and that doggystyle is a mild form of submission
2) The idea that doggystyle is the manner in which animals have sex, and that it reduces the sexual act to an animalistic one, or the woman to an animal
These are pretty lame. I mean, that position is one of the most pleasurable for me and a number of women I know. And also, there are plenty of people that get off on submission, and that includes women too! And I don't see how if you're reducing the sex to an animalistic thing (which isn't all sex animalistic no matter what position you're in?) that the woman would be reduced to an animal while the man would not.
I mean, this really seems like a non issue, just as much as men complaining about girl-on-top sex is a non issue.
I have heard the objection to doggystyle before, usually in one of several forms:
1) The idea that men get all the pleasure out of it, or that men want to feel dominant in their sexual position, and that doggystyle is a mild form of submission
2) The idea that doggystyle is the manner in which animals have sex, and that it reduces the sexual act to an animalistic one, or the woman to an animal
These are pretty lame. I mean, that position is one of the most pleasurable for me and a number of women I know. And also, there are plenty of people that get off on submission, and that includes women too! And I don't see how if you're reducing the sex to an animalistic thing (which isn't all sex animalistic no matter what position you're in?) that the woman would be reduced to an animal while the man would not.
I mean, this really seems like a non issue, just as much as men complaining about girl-on-top sex is a non issue.
They're pretty poor objections
I mean, we are animals, and we are animalistic, and that's an important thing to realize and come to terms with
Also doggystyle is awesome for all involved as long the anatomy matches up
I would like to consider queries for papers to fill a very few remaining spots in my collection, _Jane Sexes It Up: True Confessions of Feminist Desire_, forthcoming from Four Walls, Eight Windows, Spring 2001. This anthology addresses various aspects of young women's sexual identities from a third-wave feminist perspective. I ask that all essays strive for the
qualities of literary nonfiction, writing in an autobiographical voice infused with contemporary theories of sexuality (feminist, queer, black, postmodern, etc.). I am looking in particular for treatments of actual sexual practices, such as bondage, spanking, heterosexual sex (can you be a feminist and do it doggy-style?), strap-ons, HIV-positive sexuality, sex and disability, what am I missing?
I have heard the objection to doggystyle before, usually in one of several forms:
1) The idea that men get all the pleasure out of it, or that men want to feel dominant in their sexual position, and that doggystyle is a mild form of submission
2) The idea that doggystyle is the manner in which animals have sex, and that it reduces the sexual act to an animalistic one, or the woman to an animal
I will laugh openly and uproariously in the face of anyone who suggests that sex can be reduced to an animalistic act.
You can't reduce something to what it already is
Just because as far as we know, humans are the only animals to make sex intimate as well as physical/reproductive, doesn't mean its any less physical or animalistic.
I have heard the objection to doggystyle before, usually in one of several forms:
1) The idea that men get all the pleasure out of it, or that men want to feel dominant in their sexual position, and that doggystyle is a mild form of submission
2) The idea that doggystyle is the manner in which animals have sex, and that it reduces the sexual act to an animalistic one, or the woman to an animal
I will laugh openly and uproariously in the face of anyone who suggests that sex can be reduced to an animalistic act.
You can't reduce something to what it already is
Just because as far as we know, humans are the only animals to make sex intimate as well as physical/reproductive, doesn't mean its any less physical or animalistic.
Yes.
Also, I talk with my girlfriend about sex all the time. It's actually a lot more awkward if you don't talk about it, even during.
I have heard the objection to doggystyle before, usually in one of several forms:
1) The idea that men get all the pleasure out of it, or that men want to feel dominant in their sexual position, and that doggystyle is a mild form of submission
2) The idea that doggystyle is the manner in which animals have sex, and that it reduces the sexual act to an animalistic one, or the woman to an animal
I will laugh openly and uproariously in the face of anyone who suggests that sex can be reduced to an animalistic act.
You can't reduce something to what it already is
Just because as far as we know, humans are the only animals to make sex intimate as well as physical/reproductive, doesn't mean its any less physical or animalistic.
Yes.
Also, I talk with my girlfriend about sex all the time. It's actually a lot more awkward if you don't talk about it, even during.
Indeed. I've never heard this; in fact, my girlfriend says she loves it because she feels like it is mildly submissive, which evidently makes her hot.
Also, no objections to anal sex. Maybe I'm just dating someone awesome.
Fandyien on
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Dhalphirdon't you open that trapdooryou're a fool if you dareRegistered Userregular
I have heard the objection to doggystyle before, usually in one of several forms:
1) The idea that men get all the pleasure out of it, or that men want to feel dominant in their sexual position, and that doggystyle is a mild form of submission
2) The idea that doggystyle is the manner in which animals have sex, and that it reduces the sexual act to an animalistic one, or the woman to an animal
I will laugh openly and uproariously in the face of anyone who suggests that sex can be reduced to an animalistic act.
You can't reduce something to what it already is
Just because as far as we know, humans are the only animals to make sex intimate as well as physical/reproductive, doesn't mean its any less physical or animalistic.
Yes.
Also, I talk with my girlfriend about sex all the time. It's actually a lot more awkward if you don't talk about it, even during.
Indeed. I've never heard this; in fact, my girlfriend says she loves it because she feels like it is mildly submissive, which evidently makes her hot.
Also, no objections to anal sex. Maybe I'm just dating someone awesome.
And you will find a GREAT MANY WOMEN who think this way.
I'd even go so far as to say more women think this way than those who do not. Feel free to correct me on that though, thats just a hunch I have.
Yeah, I've never heard anyone, feminist or otherwise, argue that doggy-style was demeaning.
No kidding. I've also heard that it's more enjoyable from quite a few women.
Now anal sex, that's demeaning. Or so I'm told. Hell I don't know, it's awesome, who cares if a third party personally finds it to be demeaning
I think most of the negative feelings towards anal sex is about the physical obstacles that are involved. Some women uncomfortable with anal sex because it can really hurt if couples don't know what they're doing. Some women/men think it's really dirty because...well I don't think I need to go into the details. Both reasons are very understandable. However, anal sex can be very pleasurable for both parties and the woman can orgasm from it because it feels really intense.
She also prefers penetrative sex to cunnilingus in general. She doesn't dislike cunnilingus, just in her personal hierarchy, anal sex > vaginal sex > cunnilingus.
Generalizations suck.
Feral on
every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.
Posts
Thank you.
Says you.
This is from women I have talked to. The girlrfriend has absolutely no problem with it.
I mean you are in bed so intimacy is already there, is it that hard to ask what they would prefer?
pleasepaypreacher.net
Well, he is a Rear Admiral.
*rimshot*
But seriously, what ever happened to 'consenting adults' here? Don't consenting adults have adult, mature discussions about things in their sex life that they want or are uncomfortable with? If two people are going to engage in intercourse for pleasure or an act of love and intimacy, in either case they should at least be able to discuss the matter in advance and after the fact.
If you can't have that open a discussion with your partner, you shouldn't be having sex. One might point out that many cultures have taboos about such things, but open communication (in my opinion) is vital for a healthy and fulfilling sex life. Just because some (if not many) people feel it's impossible to talk about doesn't make it alright not to talk about it. Shame, inadequacy and other negative thoughts and emotions in regards to sex does nothing to further our understanding of one another, and as such, shouldn't be supported as a sterling example of how to be intimate with another person.
Aww, Cass, I wuvs you.
A thousand times yes.
Are you insane?
"Well, here we are at last. Now, what positions would you prefer to partake in tonight? Does 'doggy' sound okay?"
What the fuck, people can't talk during sex? Or discuss their sex life while they're not having sex?
The correct response to that is "Yes, yes it is."
During, yes. But actually having a discussion beforehand regarding the particulars can be a moodkill. At least for the girls I've been with. Sometimes you have to find out along the way. If there's communication, your partner will tell you during and you'll actually be sensitive enough to listen.
Oh my god. You're a "slip it in on accident" kind of guy. I just know it!
I'd guess this is where the myth that it's thought of as demeaning comes into play. From an abstract point of view, yeah, that makes the woman a bitch. Of course, from a realistic point of view, that's the classic "book by its cover" situation.
I'm really starting to warm up to this thread.
Oop ya caught me.
Shocking expose; craftily designed banter, inuendo and outright discussion can be part of foreplay! The mind is the most powerful sexual organ that you can stimulate, and a little warming up chatter can be just as effective as a 'cold' talk while lounging around.
Pro tip; unless you know your partner REALLY well, I find it's often best to err on the side of caution.
Then again we're both pretty weird.
1) The idea that men get all the pleasure out of it, or that men want to feel dominant in their sexual position, and that doggystyle is a mild form of submission
2) The idea that doggystyle is the manner in which animals have sex, and that it reduces the sexual act to an animalistic one, or the woman to an animal
That makes sense. If you've been together a while, you'll obviously want to explore your options more in-depth.
How can you make that comment without ending it with a :winky:?
That almost certainly would've killed it.
These are pretty lame. I mean, that position is one of the most pleasurable for me and a number of women I know. And also, there are plenty of people that get off on submission, and that includes women too! And I don't see how if you're reducing the sex to an animalistic thing (which isn't all sex animalistic no matter what position you're in?) that the woman would be reduced to an animal while the man would not.
I mean, this really seems like a non issue, just as much as men complaining about girl-on-top sex is a non issue.
"Can't it be about feeling good without caring who is on top/on bottom/in front/behind the other person?"
I don't like being on the bottom because I want to submit to my partner/be dominated by them.
I like being on the bottom because I'm lazy.
But it would have been a good death.
fixed
They're pretty poor objections
I mean, we are animals, and we are animalistic, and that's an important thing to realize and come to terms with
Also doggystyle is awesome for all involved as long the anatomy matches up
IN DA BUTT
Literally lolled.
http://cfp.english.upenn.edu/archive/1999-12/0059.html
Has anybody read that book? Does it say anything about doggy style?
I will laugh openly and uproariously in the face of anyone who suggests that sex can be reduced to an animalistic act.
You can't reduce something to what it already is
Just because as far as we know, humans are the only animals to make sex intimate as well as physical/reproductive, doesn't mean its any less physical or animalistic.
Also, I talk with my girlfriend about sex all the time. It's actually a lot more awkward if you don't talk about it, even during.
Same here.
Anways, I've dated girls who just didn't doggy but I never got a full explanation. Oh well, their loss.
No kidding. I've also heard that it's more enjoyable from quite a few women.
Now anal sex, that's demeaning. Or so I'm told. Hell I don't know, it's awesome, who cares if a third party personally finds it to be demeaning
CUZ THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE MIDDLE AND IT'S GIVING ME A RASH
Indeed. I've never heard this; in fact, my girlfriend says she loves it because she feels like it is mildly submissive, which evidently makes her hot.
Also, no objections to anal sex. Maybe I'm just dating someone awesome.
And you will find a GREAT MANY WOMEN who think this way.
I'd even go so far as to say more women think this way than those who do not. Feel free to correct me on that though, thats just a hunch I have.
I think most of the negative feelings towards anal sex is about the physical obstacles that are involved. Some women uncomfortable with anal sex because it can really hurt if couples don't know what they're doing. Some women/men think it's really dirty because...well I don't think I need to go into the details. Both reasons are very understandable. However, anal sex can be very pleasurable for both parties and the woman can orgasm from it because it feels really intense.
She also prefers penetrative sex to cunnilingus in general. She doesn't dislike cunnilingus, just in her personal hierarchy, anal sex > vaginal sex > cunnilingus.
Generalizations suck.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.