Ok, so the Christmas forum shut down while I was reading and making a post. Here's what Cade had in his OP, since those topics are stuck there:
Okay folks what I'm going to post below has been spreading across the net due to early previews/reviews, could be a chance they're BS but chances are they're likely true considering all we know of what was going to happen. So read if you want to know and go play in the snow if you dont.
I know of two or three people who received their issues early via direct order from Marvel. One of them had given me a quick synopsis of the last issue. Here it is:
Ok I will be mr spolier but you might not believe it as it is SO bad. Pete wakes up alone in the bed to find MJ in that bathroom puking I guess (the art & story telling are so bad who can tell what is up). First 3 1/4s was pete & MJ talking over accepting the offer. They come off as so dumb with neither asking the ultimate question, what would May want which we all know she would want then to stay married. So then the devil appears, they say yes cuz... well theres no believable reason they would. Then as just a freebie the devil tosses in that he is gonna rub out the demasking of peter parker. MJ whispers something to the devil to get an easy way out if the writters need it later. Then after they agree the devil says what I predicted, hes rubbing out the child they would have had in the future,,, UGH, Then... poof! Pete wakes up alone, goes downstair to ol aunt may making wheat cakes then run off to a party for .. HARRY OSBORN!!!! Yes everything is totally as if the last 20 years hasnt happened (in fact last panel shows them making a toast & you can see petes web shooters peeking out just to say screw you payed to read is worthless now). It is so much worse than I expected it to be. They have just turned Amazing into the start of Ultimate Spider-man. Its the worst time ever in Amazing Spider-man history.
I know a lot of the pro-marriage fans were already planning to dump Amazing if the marriage was retconned away. The question is, how about all of you who were sitting on the fence?
Everyone who is planning to dump, do it this week (wait until you receive the issue if you must). BOMBARD Marvel's phone lines with cancellations...at the very least, cancel Amazing...and cancel more if you are so inclined. Marvel will refund you the rest of your subscription. Those of you who plan to continue reading but find this offensive, bombard them with complaints. Mail letters via USPS, too. Heck, I'm going to cancel subscriptions TWICE...once by phone (to make it happen more quickly), and then once by mailing in "NO THANKS" on all the subscription renewal letters I've received over the past few months (in their nice postage-paid envelopes). And bring in your off-line friends, too, if they feel likewise...don't let them think they're alone in this.
Jeez Louise...trading a loving wife for Harry Osborn. Trading character development and powers development for editorial nostalgia. Trading deep connections and cheesecake for satanic connections and wheatcakes. Insert multiple curse words here..
And there you go.
You can thank Joe Q for that as it's what he wanted.
And my thoughts, for as far as I got before the lockdown:
I get that people love Mary Jane, I love her too.
But I also kind of see Joey Q's point. Can you name a single great Spider-Man story that was centered around or relied on his marriage with MJ?
I mean maybe you could argue Kraven's Last Hunt but didnt even really need to be married for that.
That's not what it was about to me. MJ helped balance Peter a lot from his earlier days, where he was secretive from EVERYONE, and he seemed like less of a jerk. It actually allowed him some happy moments between ass-kicking and getting his ass-kicked. The one real light in his life, and now it's gone.
Hell, I wonder if Aunt May even still knows he's Spider-man now?
I don't see this doing anything but allowing him to just be more angsty. And with all due respect to both sides, if I want a hero like that, I'll go read Batman. He fills the part just fine.
If true, this sounds ridiculously convenient. No matter how they write it, there's no way you can't detect the editor's hand in it. It reads less like a story and more like a retcon event. At least Infinite Crisis had build up to it's retcons.
I mean, the unmasking too? What a lack of commitment. To think, this made a newspaper
Agreed. What the hell happened to "all the stories we can tell now?" What, three of them?
Meanwhile, has there been a single good story about Aunt May, ever?
I liked when she found out he was Spider-man.
But really, do any good stories need to be ABOUT the supporting cast? It's cool when there are, but don't forget who's name is on the cover.
Why does Peter need a link? For the most part, references to Uncle Ben take place in his inner monologue. May's only there to talk about how Ben used to own a motorcycle when he was young.
And while I'm sure there are more than a few good stories about Peter saving Aunt May's life, the fact is that there are hundreds of others that drew from the same well and are best left forgotten. Do we really need to leave the door open for even more?
It'd be different if Aunt May had as much potential as a character as anyone else, but she's a senior citizen in perpetually bad health who is firmly planted in Peter's human, civilian side. Nothing remarkable can ever happen to her because introducing something fantastic to the character would transplant her from the normal side to the weird side and defeat the purpose of the character, and that means she remains a normal senior citizen for all of time.
That's not to say we can't write good stories about senior citizens, of course. The question, however, is whether or not those stories have a place in a book called Spider-Man. The fact that Aunt May has always been more of a plot device justifying a secret identity than a character unto herself with her own life, foibles, goals, and sub-plots should answer that question well enough.
...says it better.
there's also the whole thing about being his last link to Uncle Ben who is the reason he is Spider-Man
Fair enough, a long time ago. I'd like to think that Peter's grown enough that he doesn't need to be reminded.
Man I liked the scene when Aunt May wrote off to all the papers who print bad stuff about spidey and called them dicks.
Back when Marvel just used to give free comics away.
Dear Joe Quesada,
Eat a dick.
Love,
Aunt May
Not fixed, just aptly adjusted for the situation at hand.
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It does strike me as funny, they've been saying how they could tell years worth of stories alone from when Peter got unmasked but considering how far comics are planned out in ideas it doesn't take much to know that this was being pushed the exact same time Civil War had to be ending by Joe Q.
The only point in the unmasking thus had to be for the media attention.
....son of a bitch.
Oh, and looking at all the art in this issue, what the fuck to Joe Q. so damn long? He repeated panels a lot, and most of his work was static shots anyway.
Wow, he must have HATED the movie and really pushed for the two to not get married in 3...
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And for thsoe still not believing how about pics
You can even see Pete's web shooter sticking out there in the last pic.
Otherwise, fuck.
That said, for some reason I'm compelled to read post-JMS Spidey.
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Considering it's exactly where his web shooters use to be and it had a nozzle just like that I extremely doubt it's a cell phone. Remember this change is to make Spiderman how he use to be, no organic shooters.
this is JMS' last Spider-Man story
he's leaving the title after this.
That's a shame too, since I really enjoyed JMS beginning run on ASM, all the way up till May finding out his identity.
But yeah, I'm wondering the same thing as most, as how this affects the rest of Marvel continuity. And I don't get how undoing the marriage...
anjinsan187 (10:42:31 PM): paying a man to shit on your face for three dollars
anjinsan187 (10:42:36 PM): once a month
anjinsan187 (10:42:50 PM): some folks want more peanuts
anjinsan187 (10:42:57 PM): some wonder why it's green
anjinsan187 (10:43:11 PM): some wonder why it came out messy one day
anjinsan187 (10:43:29 PM): at any time they could've stopped being a human toilet
anjinsan187 (10:43:31 PM): but alas
anjinsan187 (10:43:54 PM): they hunger for the taste and smell of bile and shit
anjinsan187 (10:43:57 PM): like germans
anjinsan187 (10:44:01 PM): vicious germans
The Divan Kopile (11:43:46 PM): so basically you're saying we need to bomb germany
anjinsan187 (10:44:13 PM): yes
That and your Christmas sig nearly made me piss myself from laughing so hard.
And, god, it taints the return of Harry so fucking much. Harry being back? Fucking awesome. Never should have died. Everything fucking else about this It makes me, me, want to just completely fucking quit entirely.
Holy shit I want to die.
You know that lame speech villains sometimes give where they say, "We're not so different..." and the hero says, "I'm NOTHING like you!" What if the villain were, undeniably, the same person? Not different halves, like Tyler Durden and the dude from Fight Club or any other example of someone's dark side become manifest, but simply the same person.
"I know why you're fighting me Peter, and it's not because what I'm doing is wrong. It's not because you're good. It's because you can't stand the sight of yourself anymore, knowing that you could have just as easily ended up in my position, with her blood on your hands."
Not to mention the fact that a clone gives writers the chance to take the character of Peter Parker and do anything they want to him while, at the same time, leaving the character of Peter Parker untouched for the purposes of keeping him recognizable. It's a gold mine.
But then I just remembered there were at least 3 evil Spider-Man clones, so I guess there really isn't any new ground to cover with Ben Reilly. Woops!
Man Pete should be all "What? No it's because you're endangering the lives of innocents!"
And Ben will be all "ARE WE SO DIFFERENT!?"
Then Pete punches him in the jaw.
Also, that this issue is a joke as well. Just, uh, early.
I don't care if that's incredibly cliche'd.
IN THE END, IT'S NOT AS BAD AS THIS.
this is just depressing
EXPLOSIVES.
i don't think there are enough in the world
Kyle
They're gonna wipe his past clean, but leave one lingering question in case the new direction isn't well received.
Just like every other Spider-Man retcon.
Way to push things forward, dudes.