The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums here.
The Guiding Principles and New Rules document is now in effect.

Mike Rowe Has Never Worked In A Video Store {Your Worst Job Thread}

CriticalCritical Registered User regular
edited January 2008 in Social Entropy++
I worked as an ASM for Movie Gallery for a year. By far the worst job I've ever had. And it was in Colorado, so it was even worse. Here I will regale you with some stories from said job.

This Happens Every Week

It is 7PM on a Saturday. There are 50 to 75 people in the store at any given time. We have two people clocked in, because my fuckmuppet manager is trying to stay under the retarded hours allotment so he can get his $10 bonus for the week.

I have a line of about 15 to 20 people constantly. I'm moving along at a decent clip, getting two to three people rang out per minute. And someone invariably comes in an asks "Do you have Fat Albert in?"

I know three things about this person:

1) Their taste sucks. It is always the horrible "garbage in, garbage out" feature that has come in that week that people want. They never asked for Blade Runner or anything halfway fucking decent.

2) They are a lazy fuck. We'll get to that in a second.

3) They are apparently blind. If I see a clerk being bombarded by people during their busiest time of the day, I try to research my query before springing it on them.

This conversation occurs:

"Probably. We got a bunch in."
"Well can you check before I look?"
"Not right now, no. The new release wall is in alphabetical order. I just checked everything in, so everything I have will be out there."
They sigh. "Well, there is it?"
I'm getting rather perturbed. "After E and before G, one would think."
Now I get their most withering look, which compresses their mong face into a scowl and drops their IQ 20 more points. "Well, what general area for Chrissakes???"
I finally give up and point to the area. Some people would actually ask me to walk them over to the movie.

The Porn Room

We had an adult room, which did a decent business in a town of ex-cons and meth addicts. The room has a buzzer installed, so we knew when someone was heading back there so we could keep watch via security camera. People inherently tried to sneak by the buzzer because they were ashamed of their porn habit.

Unfortunately, it was my job to stock said room. Most people would be excited about this prospect. I fucking hated it.

Because of the nature of the content I had to open all boxes and price the merchandise back in the room. So when a customer asks me if they have any "TS rape" DVDs in while I'm doing all of this by myself, you can see the cause of my apprehension. I just wanted to get out of there without having a size eight asshole.

Also, one night about 11 PM a young couple with a kid who was about 5 years old come in. They wander around for a while, then I hear the buzzer go off. Both parents are in the adult room. The kid is wandering around the store by himself. I'm willing to let this slide as long as the kid behaves himself, which it looks like he's doing for the moment. No need to get in an argument over their suspect parenting techniques.

That is until I hear "Bobby, get you ass over here, NOW!" They called their son into the porn room with them.

I almost broke my neck getting back there to tell them to get the righteous fuck out of my store, post-haste.

And, after doing inventory on a room filled with DVDs of women fucking balloons and drinking cum out of other women's assholes, you tend to go home in a decidedly non-sexy mood. Inventory would destroy my sex life for three days, minimum.

So, SE, what was the worst job you've ever had to endure?

edesig.jpg
Critical on
«13456710

Posts

  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    What part of Colorado?

    Poorochondriac on
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Dishwasher at a BBQ Restuarant

    Worked for 5 hours every night surrounded by blindingly hot water, various cleaning chemical mixtures that would invariably mix with the steam of the water, a floor so slick with years-old grease that you could slide across it a la Risky Business with full tread shoes on for $7 an hour.

    Abracadaniel on
  • DaricDaric Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Reading this post.

    Daric on
    cc61181c22f23454a304a4f1f0867845044.gif
  • NogsNogs Crap, crap, mega crap. Crap, crap, mega crap.Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    i worked at a pizza place. but i kinda liked it because my co-workers and manager were awesome.

    Though I did get a call from a dude once and he demanded to get the "veteran's discount". That was kinda shitty.

    And the time I worked for 12 hours straight, with no breaks while some of my co-workers took a smoke break every 30 minutes. Also, there was only one chair in the whole building, and that was in the manager's office.

    Nogs on
    rotate.jpg
    PARKER, YOU'RE FIRED! <-- My comic book podcast! Satan look here!
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    edited January 2008
    drug dealer

    Knob on
  • Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    I was on a black balcony. With black rocks. There was also black glue.

    I glued the rocks to the balcony.

    There was no shade.

    It was 45 degrees.

    It was so hot I when sweat and the sweat hit the rocks it evaporated in about 1.5 seconds.

    My knuckles got sunburnt.

    It was pretty shit

    Blake T on
  • PataPata Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    A collage bookstore.

    I got there during the rush when everybody is buying textbooks.

    There's this retarded rule that you're not allowed to bring any sort of bag inside the store.

    I was put outside, standing under a tent, taking peoples bags.

    For 6 hours. Every day for a week.

    Then, when it was finally done. To add a final bit of pain, they laid me off once they didn't need a bag-taker.

    Pata on
    SRWWSig.pngEpisode 5: Mecha-World, Mecha-nisim, Mecha-beasts
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    edited January 2008
    either that or mercenary

    Knob on
  • CriticalCritical Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    What part of Colorado?

    A nice little prison farm named Canon City. Basically a Dennys surrounded by 4 medium security prisons and a Supermax.

    Critical on
    edesig.jpg
  • casper_27dcasper_27d The Friendly Ghost EverywhereRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    My worst job would have to have been standing in front of a trench full of human waste, pouring gallons of diesel over it, lighting it on fire and stirring it will a long stick to make sure I got it all. For hours at a time. While it is a 130 degrees outside. In a place that frequently got hit by mortars.

    casper_27d on
  • NogsNogs Crap, crap, mega crap. Crap, crap, mega crap.Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Pata wrote: »
    A collage bookstore.

    man, how does that work?

    Nogs on
    rotate.jpg
    PARKER, YOU'RE FIRED! <-- My comic book podcast! Satan look here!
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    edited January 2008
    Critical wrote: »
    What part of Colorado?

    A nice little prison farm named Canon City. Basically a Dennys surrounded by 4 medium security prisons and a Supermax.

    there's a rad chinese restaurant there

    Knob on
  • PataPata Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Nogs wrote: »
    Pata wrote: »
    A collage bookstore.

    man, how does that work?

    College, sorry, I always misspell that word for some reason.

    Basically it's where the students buy their overpriced textbooks.

    Pata on
    SRWWSig.pngEpisode 5: Mecha-World, Mecha-nisim, Mecha-beasts
  • CriticalCritical Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    casper_27d wrote: »
    My worst job would have to have been standing in front of a trench full of human waste, pouring gallons of diesel over it, lighting it on fire and stirring it will a long stick to make sure I got it all. For hours at a time. While it is a 130 degrees outside. In a place that frequently got hit by mortars.

    So, yeah, I'm a pussy.

    Critical on
    edesig.jpg
  • arod_77arod_77 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited January 2008
    My current law firm sinecure for 10 dollars an hour. I get work done, but its hard to hit maximum productivity when you can come and go as you please.

    arod_77 on
    glitteratsigcopy.jpg
  • CriticalCritical Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Knob wrote: »
    Critical wrote: »
    What part of Colorado?

    A nice little prison farm named Canon City. Basically a Dennys surrounded by 4 medium security prisons and a Supermax.

    there's a rad chinese restaurant there

    The one on main street? I can't remember the name of the motherfucker, but it was pretty damn good.

    Critical on
    edesig.jpg
  • RuckusRuckus Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    casper_27d wrote: »
    My worst job would have to have been standing in front of a trench full of human waste, pouring gallons of diesel over it, lighting it on fire and stirring it will a long stick to make sure I got it all. For hours at a time. While it is a 130 degrees outside. In a place that frequently got hit by mortars.

    Ya ya, everyone hates New York...

    Ruckus on
  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Critical wrote: »
    What part of Colorado?

    A nice little prison farm named Canon City. Basically a Dennys surrounded by 4 medium security prisons and a Supermax.

    That is pretty far south. And southern Colorado sucks a bunch. So, sorry, I suppose.

    Poorochondriac on
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    edited January 2008
    Critical wrote: »
    Knob wrote: »
    Critical wrote: »
    What part of Colorado?

    A nice little prison farm named Canon City. Basically a Dennys surrounded by 4 medium security prisons and a Supermax.

    there's a rad chinese restaurant there

    The one on main street? I can't remember the name of the motherfucker, but it was pretty damn good.

    i think so

    we stopped in canon city on our way back from mew mexico and had chinese

    and the place was awesome

    no idea what it was called

    Knob on
  • DrZiplockDrZiplock Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Critical wrote: »
    casper_27d wrote: »
    My worst job would have to have been standing in front of a trench full of human waste, pouring gallons of diesel over it, lighting it on fire and stirring it will a long stick to make sure I got it all. For hours at a time. While it is a 130 degrees outside. In a place that frequently got hit by mortars.

    So, yeah, I'm a pussy.


    As we all are compared to this...

    DrZiplock on
  • mastmanmastman Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Critical wrote: »
    What part of Colorado?

    A nice little prison farm named Canon City. Basically a Dennys surrounded by 4 medium security prisons and a Supermax.

    That is pretty far south. And southern Colorado sucks a bunch. So, sorry, I suppose.

    I've been there. Not to that Dennys, but I've driven through that town.

    mastman on
    ByalIX8.png
    B.net: Kusanku
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    hahaha

    mew mexico

    Abracadaniel on
  • FlyingmanFlyingman Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Subway in a ghetto suburb... (high school was horrible)

    Flyingman on
    PAsig-1.gif
  • autono-wally, erotibot300autono-wally, erotibot300 love machine Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    fluffer

    autono-wally, erotibot300 on
    kFJhXwE.jpgkFJhXwE.jpg
  • Grandaddy DeliciousGrandaddy Delicious Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    For my first job when I was fifteen, I was the janitor at a funpark. My duties included cleaning out the metal boxes in the ladies room stalls everyday. If you don't know what the ladies room metal boxes contain, then you don't know my hell.

    Grandaddy Delicious on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • CriticalCritical Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Knob wrote: »
    Critical wrote: »
    Knob wrote: »
    Critical wrote: »
    What part of Colorado?

    A nice little prison farm named Canon City. Basically a Dennys surrounded by 4 medium security prisons and a Supermax.

    there's a rad chinese restaurant there

    The one on main street? I can't remember the name of the motherfucker, but it was pretty damn good.

    i think so

    we stopped in canon city on our way back from mew mexico and had chinese

    and the place was awesome

    no idea what it was called

    It think it was like Dragon Gate or something. Had a gold plated Buddha in the foyer. Only worthwhile restaurant in the whole town.

    Critical on
    edesig.jpg
  • RuckusRuckus Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    For my first job when I was fifteen, I was the janitor at a funpark. My duties included cleaning out the metal boxes in the ladies room stalls everyday. If you don't know what the ladies room metal boxes contain, then you don't know my hell.

    I'm assuming it wasn't wads of money.

    Ruckus on
  • autono-wally, erotibot300autono-wally, erotibot300 love machine Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    I worked at a hospital for mandatory civil service
    Let's say I know what's in those blue sacks they throw into the biohazard containers, because they kept fucking opening while transporting them

    autono-wally, erotibot300 on
    kFJhXwE.jpgkFJhXwE.jpg
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    edited January 2008
    For my first job when I was fifteen, I was the janitor at a funpark. My duties included cleaning out the metal boxes in the ladies room stalls everyday. If you don't know what the ladies room metal boxes contain, then you don't know my hell.

    oh, you mean the candybox!

    Knob on
  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Dumb Hero wrote: »
    hahaha

    mew mexico

    Sister state to Connecticat

    Poorochondriac on
  • autono-wally, erotibot300autono-wally, erotibot300 love machine Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Knob wrote: »
    For my first job when I was fifteen, I was the janitor at a funpark. My duties included cleaning out the metal boxes in the ladies room stalls everyday. If you don't know what the ladies room metal boxes contain, then you don't know my hell.

    oh, you mean the candybox!

    raspberry tea bags

    autono-wally, erotibot300 on
    kFJhXwE.jpgkFJhXwE.jpg
  • redfenixredfenix Aka'd as rfix Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Flyingman wrote: »
    Subway in a ghetto suburb... (high school was horrible)

    Is that the kind of subway that has the bulletproof-glass partition that you have to slide money into the drawer for?

    I went to a Subway in north St. Louis like that (at Natural Bridge and Kingshighway, for any Nelly fans) and not only was there glass between me and the cold cuts, but there were already gun shot fractures in the glass.

    redfenix on
  • Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    edited January 2008
    redfenix wrote: »
    Flyingman wrote: »
    Subway in a ghetto suburb... (high school was horrible)

    Is that the kind of subway that has the bulletproof-glass partition that you have to slide money into the drawer for?

    There are subways without that?

    Garlic Bread on
  • BrainleechBrainleech 機知に富んだコメントはここにあります Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Knob wrote: »
    either that or mercenary

    I would disagree Knob because a Sgt of one of the other fireteams would say thier is no sweeter Job
    His quote of
    You get to kill people and get paid well for it? What the fuck am I doing with you?


    My worst job was working in a Casino they had the rule book they played like Calvinball when they had to enforce it I could go on and on about how much I hated that place
    They paid well but that barely covered up the fact I was the only white man in a indian casino used by hispanics. Racsim was so much fun to deal with

    Brainleech on
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    edited January 2008
    what the hell

    all our subways are just a counter with a dumb highschool girl and dell meat

    no psychotic fucking security

    Knob on
  • casper_27dcasper_27d The Friendly Ghost EverywhereRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    redfenix wrote: »
    Flyingman wrote: »
    Subway in a ghetto suburb... (high school was horrible)

    Is that the kind of subway that has the bulletproof-glass partition that you have to slide money into the drawer for?

    I went to a Subway in north St. Louis like that (at Natural Bridge and Kingshighway, for any Nelly fans) and not only was there glass between me and the cold cuts, but there were already gun shot fractures in the glass.

    I have worked in some pretty hostile areas and I still hate going on a subway. I feel i should have my M4, my IBA and sometimes my gasmask just to be on the safe side.

    casper_27d on
  • BrainleechBrainleech 機知に富んだコメントはここにあります Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    The subways around where I live have the counter behind what seems like bullet proof glass but then I don't live in a nice area

    Brainleech on
  • Dublo7Dublo7 Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    I was a Telemarketer for about a week. It was single-handedly, the most depressing thing I've ever been through.
    Such a fucking disgusting job.

    Dublo7 on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Subway the restaurant

    Abracadaniel on
  • Dublo7Dublo7 Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    You guys have bullet-proof glass separators in your Subways?

    Wow. Sounds like a great place to be.

    Dublo7 on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Sign In or Register to comment.