I've been watching this thread for a while, a bit apprehensive to actually post a story or two of my own. I have one that might be pretty good.
The story happened in 7th grade, most of you can remember that being 12-13 is a fragile time in a boys life, a time filled with change for a young boy. The outward effect of this change ranged from new hair growth in the crotchel and armpit region and of course, random, uncontrollable hardons.
Anyways, it was 3rd period and I was in my gym class. This was right after brunch, and after an awesome game of butts up, I was ready to play some basketball, maybe some soccer. Who knows? Either way, I'm sitting in the gym, front of my row and my mind is wandering, caught up in silly things like wondering if any girls like me, or what I'm going to do to get money to buy perfect dark. That's when my eyes wander a little to the left and I catch a glimpse of this girl. This girl wasn't an amazing looker, but she was cute. Nice perky tits, or what passed for tits at that age, and a nice tight ass.
Suddenly I'm stuck, I can't stare away. She's wearing tiny pink shorts, and is stretching with her back to me, and for some reason that ass was glorious. Like unearthing an ancient tomb, filled to the brim with golden relics and sacred artifacts, or staring into the eyes of god, I was unable to look away. I didn't know what would happen if I kept staring, but I was absolutely positive that if I looked away, some great tragedy would befall me and my fellow classmates, so like a trooper, I stared on. I stared at that ass for a good 2 minutes, never breaking eye contact. One of us was going to break, the ass or me, and I had an advantage as it already had a crack in it.
Finally my attention is broken as my gym teacher walks in. My gym teacher was a 50 year old man wearing shorts so short, you could see his curlies, in all their graying, crusty splendor. This man was a dick, he made us do homework in PE, he handed out papers, made us keep folders and do actual class work in his class. Kind of pathetic when you realize he's an over the hill man who wears shorts all day and watches kids kick or toss various balls into various goals with an attitude best described with the word lackluster.
As he walks in, he is carrying a stack of papers, and proceeds to dole out 10 or so to each person in the front of the row. I'm in the front of my row, so he hands me a stack of papers. Fuck those papers. The minute those papers are in my hand, I realize that all my ocular adventures have left Danny Tanner and the Olsen twins in a state that could best be described with the term 'stand offish'. Why does that suck, besides the obvious? Because for some asinine reason, the person in the front has to stand up, and hand deliver a paper to each person behind him. You can see my dilemma.
Sweat beads form on my forehead and lowhead as I think of a way out of this. Fuck it, I'll just turn around and hand the girl behind me the papers, and she can do likewise. Fucking brilliant, I thought. I turn, arms outstretched, gaze averted towards the back of the gym. I must have waited about 30 seconds before that bitch, born of shit and liquid hatred in the bowels of some godforsaken, hellish land screeches in a high pitched, whiney voice, "Ummmm you're supposed to hand them to everyone in our row!".
Oh fuck you, skank bitch extraordinaire, fuck you with the biggest, meanest dick in all of Detroit you cock whore.
So there it is, Sgt Pepper is standing at attention, and I'm supposed to get up in front of the class, and walk down the row, handing bits of paper, peppered with dodge ball facts, out to kids I have to see everyday. Not to mention, gym shorts aren't the best method of concealment when your allied forces are flying the white flag.
Sullenly, and hunched, I get up and walk that 20 feet back, handing each girl and boy a piece of fucking paper, trying not to poke someone in the face.
And that's how I earned the nickname Hunchback of Notre Bone.
Filler Inc. on
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Lord DaveGrief CauserBitch Free ZoneRegistered Userregular
There is this gaggle of underclassman nerds at my school and they are so terrible I can't even sit in close proximity to them. Between playing Yu-Gi-Oh and discussing the merits of Wookie Jedi, it's too embarrassing to think about.
I was in barnes and noble once and I was checking out the scifi section so Im feelin a little geeky. But then I hear the loudest, stupidest argument on earth come from like 2 aisles over. "You get the fruits basket! I want the trigun!" 'NO! FUCK YOU! I ALWAYS GET THE FRUITS BASKET! ITS YOUR TURN!! YOU THINK CAUSE YOU HAVE TITS YOURE BETTER THAN ME!!!" So naturally I hear tits and think, hmmm, this could be interesting. I turn the corner to see the fattest, ugliest goth girl ever with horrible spray dye pink hair and those damn pants with zippers all over them arguing with the skinniest marilyn manson impersonator ever. I just wanted to go over there and pull a terrence howard from crash. Just be all, "You embarrass me. You embarrass yourself."
honkymcgoo on
I didn't even know what the fuck and avitar was until about 5 minutes ago.
mine doesn't quite compare. i overheard a bunch of fat chicks with really terrible hair arguing with each other about food on the bus today
one had apparently eaten seven slices of pizza, some toast, some orange juice, and some pop for br/lunch that morning. they all claimed to be on a diet
the worst thing was that they were all lolling around all over the bus seats.
Posts
Company wide emails were being exchanged as they all spoke tech lingo and patted each other on the back.
My company wide response was that very same image.
kpop appreciation station i also like to tweet some
i love doing shit like that
i went to lunch with my dad and some of his minions the other day, they all kiss his ass and are completly intimidated by him
he said something and they all agreed, i started going "Harumh Harumph Harumph, give the governor a harumph!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JN99jshaQbY
The entire tech side of the company got it, which makes sense I suppose.
They just didn't expect it from the marketing side. There is a very "us and them" mentality.
The story happened in 7th grade, most of you can remember that being 12-13 is a fragile time in a boys life, a time filled with change for a young boy. The outward effect of this change ranged from new hair growth in the crotchel and armpit region and of course, random, uncontrollable hardons.
Anyways, it was 3rd period and I was in my gym class. This was right after brunch, and after an awesome game of butts up, I was ready to play some basketball, maybe some soccer. Who knows? Either way, I'm sitting in the gym, front of my row and my mind is wandering, caught up in silly things like wondering if any girls like me, or what I'm going to do to get money to buy perfect dark. That's when my eyes wander a little to the left and I catch a glimpse of this girl. This girl wasn't an amazing looker, but she was cute. Nice perky tits, or what passed for tits at that age, and a nice tight ass.
Suddenly I'm stuck, I can't stare away. She's wearing tiny pink shorts, and is stretching with her back to me, and for some reason that ass was glorious. Like unearthing an ancient tomb, filled to the brim with golden relics and sacred artifacts, or staring into the eyes of god, I was unable to look away. I didn't know what would happen if I kept staring, but I was absolutely positive that if I looked away, some great tragedy would befall me and my fellow classmates, so like a trooper, I stared on. I stared at that ass for a good 2 minutes, never breaking eye contact. One of us was going to break, the ass or me, and I had an advantage as it already had a crack in it.
Finally my attention is broken as my gym teacher walks in. My gym teacher was a 50 year old man wearing shorts so short, you could see his curlies, in all their graying, crusty splendor. This man was a dick, he made us do homework in PE, he handed out papers, made us keep folders and do actual class work in his class. Kind of pathetic when you realize he's an over the hill man who wears shorts all day and watches kids kick or toss various balls into various goals with an attitude best described with the word lackluster.
As he walks in, he is carrying a stack of papers, and proceeds to dole out 10 or so to each person in the front of the row. I'm in the front of my row, so he hands me a stack of papers. Fuck those papers. The minute those papers are in my hand, I realize that all my ocular adventures have left Danny Tanner and the Olsen twins in a state that could best be described with the term 'stand offish'. Why does that suck, besides the obvious? Because for some asinine reason, the person in the front has to stand up, and hand deliver a paper to each person behind him. You can see my dilemma.
Sweat beads form on my forehead and lowhead as I think of a way out of this. Fuck it, I'll just turn around and hand the girl behind me the papers, and she can do likewise. Fucking brilliant, I thought. I turn, arms outstretched, gaze averted towards the back of the gym. I must have waited about 30 seconds before that bitch, born of shit and liquid hatred in the bowels of some godforsaken, hellish land screeches in a high pitched, whiney voice, "Ummmm you're supposed to hand them to everyone in our row!".
Oh fuck you, skank bitch extraordinaire, fuck you with the biggest, meanest dick in all of Detroit you cock whore.
So there it is, Sgt Pepper is standing at attention, and I'm supposed to get up in front of the class, and walk down the row, handing bits of paper, peppered with dodge ball facts, out to kids I have to see everyday. Not to mention, gym shorts aren't the best method of concealment when your allied forces are flying the white flag.
Sullenly, and hunched, I get up and walk that 20 feet back, handing each girl and boy a piece of fucking paper, trying not to poke someone in the face.
And that's how I earned the nickname Hunchback of Notre Bone.
Its was the 15 minute recess after second period and before lunch.
It was called brunch for some reason.
Why thank you.
Venoms eat chocolate too.
Oh so much chocolate.
I suppose someone had to come out and say it.
Man it's a question that is triggering hitherto unfathomed thought processes.
How different would RahXephon be if the protagonist was Beethoven what with all the music.
Aussie wookies.
just because
one had apparently eaten seven slices of pizza, some toast, some orange juice, and some pop for br/lunch that morning. they all claimed to be on a diet
the worst thing was that they were all lolling around all over the bus seats.