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It's really hard not to see costs soaring for a wedding, though. It's not just what you want; family and friends tend to put quite a bit of pressure on you. Friends expect to be in the wedding party, siblings expect to have something to do, people expect to see nice flower arrangements and a big cake.
Anyway, happy thoughts. Like cats. Cats are nearly always happy. I groomed my friend's cat tonight (again).
Well then they'll all get nice postcards from somewhere they're not, and I'll throw a great housewarming party.
Trillian on
They cast a shadow like a sundial in the morning light. It was half past 10.
Sorry, I just hate breach of etiquette. Nothing like weddings for bringing out the rudeness! It's impolite and improper to put any registration info, mention of monetary gifts or any kind of gift on the invitation. And yes, this is for the US, too. I've been reading up on my wedding etiquette on a US site.
Also, showers are a horrid idea. The people that showers are good for are for young, poor people who do not have the support of their family. And really you should only have one shower, and it should not be hosted by a family member. Fortunately there is no shower - wedding or baby - tradition in the UK.
We didn't actually put any of that info on the card. It is sort of nice for people to get the info if you are registered somewhere though. Just slip a little something in there saying we're registered here, here and here because honestly it's extra hassle to figure out where people are registered anyways.
As far as showers,
Well.. the first shower was put on by the bridesmaids at her grandmas place. It is basically just a get together and give bonus presents so I don't really get the point of it.
The second shower was a martini party at her moms house where it was mostly the girls buying her sexy underwear and such.
My work wanted to do something for me so we got free lunch then people gave me way too much stuff.
Yeah, registering is fine, and what you did is totally cool - people will ask, and you can give registration info to them then
Janson on
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RankenphilePassersby were amazedby the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, ModeratorMod Emeritus
edited June 2008
know what?
fuck Miss Manners
I got left with the fucking bill for this wedding, it's a goddamn fundraiser, pure and simple. Without these funds, I can't afford to move or start school. Damn right I'm putting that shit on the invitation. I ain't saying "don't come to my wedding if you can't get me something tangible" or anything by any stretch of the imagination, but this is my one chance to cash in and I can't start the next four years of my life without it.
Welp, that's where catering to your budget comes in.
If food is going to cost too much, have an afternoon wedding with drinks and cake instead. Or cut down on the guest list. Go for flowers that are in season. Print your own invitations, that kinda thing.
Yeah, it's hard. I'm working with practically...zilch for my wedding, so a lot of things have been cut off the list (not that I really care, mind you). No wedding party, professionally made cake, flowers, DJ, that kinda thing. Food and drink is probably most important so I'm concentrating on what to do for that. And we can't really afford to hire a place, so I'm thinking of excluding everyone but immediate family and close friends to keep the guest-list down.
Eloping really is the best answer, but sometimes friends and family insist on celebrating too.
We kept ours to local close family only so basically nothign farther than Aunts/Cousins
Then only close friends we wanted there
And still ended up with 155 people
$30 a head for catering adds up real quick. Photography is pricey as shit ($2500 including the fancy album). Flowers are relatively inexpensive compared to what some people spend. Ours worked out to about $900 and we did it through this local company called "just beginnings" that helps out women who are coming from abusive relationships, are single moms, or returning back from prison get a fresh start.
We decided to forgo the normal wedding cake and get a "fake cake" because the catering includes quite the selection of dessert choices. It still costs us $180 for the fake one though (the top layer is real so you can have the photo moment + some to keep for afterwords or whatever you're supposed to do)
Our invites were hand made, but even that can end up adding up in cost.
All the paper that needs to be bought, little flowers to attach, printing costs for stuff, postage for them. Then you start looking at thank you cards for the 2 showers + the wedding.
50 cents a stamp, probably mailing over 250 envelopes between invites/thank yous is another $125 out of nowhere.
FishmanPut your goddamned hand in the goddamned Box of Pain.Registered Userregular
edited June 2008
Janson, you can do what you want for your wedding, but if you start trying to get other people to compromise on what will make them happiest on what should be one of the most joyous days of their life based on your own prejudices, we're going to have to have words.
Fishman - I was really just reacting to bad advice being given...yeah, ultimately it doesn't matter one jot what other people do and it doesn't affect me personally, but it kinda bugs me when people think that something is the 'right' thing to do when really it's not...
Fishman - I was really just reacting to bad advice being given...yeah, ultimately it doesn't matter one jot what other people do and it doesn't affect me personally, but it kinda bugs me when people think that something is the 'right' thing to do when really it's not...
you're the bride that day Janson... whatever you want to do is the right thing for 1 day
First off, it's really the bride's and groom's day.
Secondly, I'm all for unique weddings and people doing what they want, so long as it's not at the expense of others. I mean that emotionally and financially. Weddings are really tricky; there are so many things that can go wrong and destroy family relationships and friendships. Financial help from the parents is common and there's nothing wrong with that, just as there's nothing wrong with accepting presents or monetary contributions, etc., but I feel that they should be offered and not asked for or expected.
Well it's a good thing you're not all marrying each other
Meissnerd on
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RankenphilePassersby were amazedby the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, ModeratorMod Emeritus
edited June 2008
yeah we're doing a shoe-string budget, for the most part
no photographer, we got the place reserved for $50, catering is free/potluck, we're doing our own decorating, rings are already paid for, dress is paid for, my tux is free, we're making a DVD full of music to play instead of hiring a DJ, and the invitations were designed by me and printed at no charge as a gift from my old boss.
the cake is spendy as fuck, but that was agreed on before her stupid fucking father admitted he wasn't going to be able to pay for all this shit (fun fact: he still hasn't admitted it, he's just making me pay for everything and is all "I'll pay you back" even though he can't fucking afford to pay his goddamn phone bill and they're threatening to take his house because he's a fucking MORON)
regardless, I'm being left with a bill that is more than I can afford, and we're entering an extremely difficult financial situation. I have no problem admitting that and asking for help. If anyone has an issue with it, then tough shit, but it ain't like I'm saying "HEY FUCKFACE I NEED CASH DOLLAZ" on the invites. It has a nice little line that just reads "Registration information available at (our website)", and there we have links to our Macys and Target registration and a letter saying "Hey, we need help, here's why, thanks."
I just think it's sad that you see quite a few haggard-looking grooms (heck, we get quite a few H/A threads from them) who are footing the bills for what their bride wants and the poor groom isn't getting a say.
Anyway...I should be off to bed. Weddings make me damn unhappy. I really, really wish that I could go to bed, wake up and find it is six months in the future and that I have amnesia and am already married/moved to the US and have just forgotten the moving/wedding planning/wedding. My mother keeps asking me if I've looked at dresses yet and ugh ugh ugh no I don't want to.
Janson on
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Donovan PuppyfuckerA dagger in the dark isworth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered Userregular
Personally when I die I just want to be burned, stuck in a cardboard box and tossed back into nature.
No wakes, no funeral, just a couple of cases of 24 and a campfire if you're really interested in talking about how I've lived and how much you miss me.
I refuse to cost people more then the bare minimum in order to get rid of my corpse after I die.
I will never get what I want for my wedding, so I'm leaving as much of the organisation as possible to other people.
It makes me really happy that a good online friend's visa petition was approved today. Other people's happy stories get me all choked up; these are people whose stories I've been following for months and it's so heartening to hear.
some dude, upset that he could not use the restroom at our store, went to the stockroom and pissed on some boxes. The closest public restroom was probably 40 steps away.
coldbird. on
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I Win Swordfightsall the traits of greatnessstarlight at my feetRegistered Userregular
edited June 2008
Also, I have spaghettios
I Win Swordfights on
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Jacques L'HommeBAH! He was a rank amateur compared to, DR. COLOSSUS!Registered Userregular
edited June 2008
I'm finally back on track with my schooling after about four months of being ignored by the local technical college.
Also, I just finished baking a batch of warm fudge brownies.
Posts
Well then they'll all get nice postcards from somewhere they're not, and I'll throw a great housewarming party.
They cast a shadow like a sundial in the morning light. It was half past 10.
You hope.
You'll still die some day, ill or not.
Cheers!
We didn't actually put any of that info on the card. It is sort of nice for people to get the info if you are registered somewhere though. Just slip a little something in there saying we're registered here, here and here because honestly it's extra hassle to figure out where people are registered anyways.
As far as showers,
Well.. the first shower was put on by the bridesmaids at her grandmas place. It is basically just a get together and give bonus presents so I don't really get the point of it.
The second shower was a martini party at her moms house where it was mostly the girls buying her sexy underwear and such.
My work wanted to do something for me so we got free lunch then people gave me way too much stuff.
"No really guys stop spending money on me ugh just bring me cookies or something ok."
Seriously when people spend money on me it makes me uncomfortable.
fuck Miss Manners
I got left with the fucking bill for this wedding, it's a goddamn fundraiser, pure and simple. Without these funds, I can't afford to move or start school. Damn right I'm putting that shit on the invitation. I ain't saying "don't come to my wedding if you can't get me something tangible" or anything by any stretch of the imagination, but this is my one chance to cash in and I can't start the next four years of my life without it.
So.
If food is going to cost too much, have an afternoon wedding with drinks and cake instead. Or cut down on the guest list. Go for flowers that are in season. Print your own invitations, that kinda thing.
Yeah, it's hard. I'm working with practically...zilch for my wedding, so a lot of things have been cut off the list (not that I really care, mind you). No wedding party, professionally made cake, flowers, DJ, that kinda thing. Food and drink is probably most important so I'm concentrating on what to do for that. And we can't really afford to hire a place, so I'm thinking of excluding everyone but immediate family and close friends to keep the guest-list down.
Eloping really is the best answer, but sometimes friends and family insist on celebrating too.
Then only close friends we wanted there
And still ended up with 155 people
$30 a head for catering adds up real quick. Photography is pricey as shit ($2500 including the fancy album). Flowers are relatively inexpensive compared to what some people spend. Ours worked out to about $900 and we did it through this local company called "just beginnings" that helps out women who are coming from abusive relationships, are single moms, or returning back from prison get a fresh start.
We decided to forgo the normal wedding cake and get a "fake cake" because the catering includes quite the selection of dessert choices. It still costs us $180 for the fake one though (the top layer is real so you can have the photo moment + some to keep for afterwords or whatever you're supposed to do)
Our invites were hand made, but even that can end up adding up in cost.
All the paper that needs to be bought, little flowers to attach, printing costs for stuff, postage for them. Then you start looking at thank you cards for the 2 showers + the wedding.
50 cents a stamp, probably mailing over 250 envelopes between invites/thank yous is another $125 out of nowhere.
Fishman - I was really just reacting to bad advice being given...yeah, ultimately it doesn't matter one jot what other people do and it doesn't affect me personally, but it kinda bugs me when people think that something is the 'right' thing to do when really it's not...
you're the bride that day Janson... whatever you want to do is the right thing for 1 day
First off, it's really the bride's and groom's day.
Secondly, I'm all for unique weddings and people doing what they want, so long as it's not at the expense of others. I mean that emotionally and financially. Weddings are really tricky; there are so many things that can go wrong and destroy family relationships and friendships. Financial help from the parents is common and there's nothing wrong with that, just as there's nothing wrong with accepting presents or monetary contributions, etc., but I feel that they should be offered and not asked for or expected.
no photographer, we got the place reserved for $50, catering is free/potluck, we're doing our own decorating, rings are already paid for, dress is paid for, my tux is free, we're making a DVD full of music to play instead of hiring a DJ, and the invitations were designed by me and printed at no charge as a gift from my old boss.
the cake is spendy as fuck, but that was agreed on before her stupid fucking father admitted he wasn't going to be able to pay for all this shit (fun fact: he still hasn't admitted it, he's just making me pay for everything and is all "I'll pay you back" even though he can't fucking afford to pay his goddamn phone bill and they're threatening to take his house because he's a fucking MORON)
regardless, I'm being left with a bill that is more than I can afford, and we're entering an extremely difficult financial situation. I have no problem admitting that and asking for help. If anyone has an issue with it, then tough shit, but it ain't like I'm saying "HEY FUCKFACE I NEED CASH DOLLAZ" on the invites. It has a nice little line that just reads "Registration information available at (our website)", and there we have links to our Macys and Target registration and a letter saying "Hey, we need help, here's why, thanks."
So instead of sitting here posting for free, I'm now getting money for it.
Back to the happiness?
*hugs*
Anyway...I should be off to bed. Weddings make me damn unhappy. I really, really wish that I could go to bed, wake up and find it is six months in the future and that I have amnesia and am already married/moved to the US and have just forgotten the moving/wedding planning/wedding. My mother keeps asking me if I've looked at dresses yet and ugh ugh ugh no I don't want to.
Elope, then let your friends and family throw a party for you...
Personally when I die I just want to be burned, stuck in a cardboard box and tossed back into nature.
No wakes, no funeral, just a couple of cases of 24 and a campfire if you're really interested in talking about how I've lived and how much you miss me.
I refuse to cost people more then the bare minimum in order to get rid of my corpse after I die.
I even got to skive off out the back and play skipping stones on the lagoon with my (new) niece.
I'm a simple fellow.
It makes me really happy that a good online friend's visa petition was approved today. Other people's happy stories get me all choked up; these are people whose stories I've been following for months and it's so heartening to hear.
but
right now you're only a red-headed stallion with impeccable glasses
it was a beer cooler screen printed with a groom dragging his bride away by the hair and it said "I got pissed at Dave and Julie's wedding"
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
Also, school's almost out
Also, I just finished baking a batch of warm fudge brownies.
JACQUES L'HOMME