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this morning can kiss my ass
Knob
TURN THE BEAT BACKInternetModerator Mod Emeritus
TURN THE BEAT BACKInternetModerator Mod Emeritus
so i'm laying in bed last night, not sleeping well because it's hot as hell and i'm grouchy because i have to work at 5am
i look at the clock and it's a quarter after 2. i'm thirsty. so i grab the bottle of water i keep on my nightstand and start chugging
it isn't until i've got half of it put away that i realize it tastes funny. kinda like cologne. smells strange, too
so i wake up the girlfriend and ask, 'what the hell is this?'
and she says 'smells like the all-purpose cleaner. i was cleaning in here earlier'
oh
oh good
so i sprint to the bathroom and forcibly eject everything i've eaten in the last four years, then call poison control. they immediately tell me that puking was a terrible idea, because if the shit causes chemical burns in my throat, i just exposed it twice
oh
oh lovely
the nice lady tells me not to worry, to drink a glass of milk and stay up for a few hours and call back if my throat starts burning or i start puking involuntarily
so i been sitting here for the last 4 hours, exhausted as hell, feeling like shit, but apparently i'm not going to die, so that's a plus
bonus: calling into work. 'yeah, i'm not going to be in today. i don't feel well, i been drinking cleaning products all night.'
i look at the clock and it's a quarter after 2. i'm thirsty. so i grab the bottle of water i keep on my nightstand and start chugging
it isn't until i've got half of it put away that i realize it tastes funny. kinda like cologne. smells strange, too
so i wake up the girlfriend and ask, 'what the hell is this?'
and she says 'smells like the all-purpose cleaner. i was cleaning in here earlier'
oh
oh good
so i sprint to the bathroom and forcibly eject everything i've eaten in the last four years, then call poison control. they immediately tell me that puking was a terrible idea, because if the shit causes chemical burns in my throat, i just exposed it twice
oh
oh lovely
the nice lady tells me not to worry, to drink a glass of milk and stay up for a few hours and call back if my throat starts burning or i start puking involuntarily
so i been sitting here for the last 4 hours, exhausted as hell, feeling like shit, but apparently i'm not going to die, so that's a plus
bonus: calling into work. 'yeah, i'm not going to be in today. i don't feel well, i been drinking cleaning products all night.'
Knob on
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Posts
Get out while you still can.
but kind of funny at the same time
still, i'd rather be safe than sorry
damn
hell of a way to earn a day off
hope nothing bad happens
I hang out, have heaps of fun.
Go to sleep at 12, as I have an exam at 8:45 the next morning. Cue no sleep at all.
Ride home, shower, ride to exam, write huge essay, ride bike to mall, ride back and blah blah blah
I never sleep properly before exams, I'm never worried in the slightest, but no sleep ever happens.
hahaha
the poison control lady's biggest concern was that someone was trying to kill me
'is there anyone that could have come into your house and put cleaner in your water bottle?'
yeah, my 3 year old son and his busy hands. he's a big fan of pouring things right now.
Yea, he woke up and found himself bald with a shiny gold earing wearing nothing but a white t-shirt and looking ripped.
i was playing xbl games a bit ago, trying to keep my mind occupied and off of 'OH SHIT I AM FULL OF POISON'
i seem to be about 1000% better at doom than i usually am
You've taught him well
But now it's war
Freud was right.
hope there are no negative consequences
it didnt work
go to Plan B
good lord, he's gone wigger on us
fun fact: i just GIS'd pictures of wiggers and wound up at a hilarious stormfront thread about wiggers
wal-mart brand 'all-purpose cleaner'
Mr. Clean is a wigger?
Hahaha!
Is it ok to laugh if it's a mod in distress?
Hahaha!
Oh Knob!
At least your faecal waste will actually clean the bowl rather than dirtying it for a few days.
sick
finish the bottle, maybe you can like start shooting cacodemons out of your pores or something
Does 'all-purpose' include refreshingly thirst-quenching?
now
no man, she'll like that
you can't see from the picture on the bottle, but he is totally sagging his pants and puffin out hsi boxers
oh mr. clean
i just imagined a white guy in a wifebeater wearing gold jewelry and my wigger alert went off
:?:
I though 'bald, gold earing' etc. was how Knob already looks?
is this rascist?
im not sure
and gold is tacky
i sport stainless
https://www.paypal.me/hobnailtaylor