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Revenge of the Strange & Embarrassing Moments

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Posts

  • PicardathonPicardathon Registered User
    edited February 2008
    Oboro wrote: »
    Oboro wrote: »
    jotate wrote: »
    Are you dense?

    Not all of us can be a collection of fucking gaseous water molecules, asshole.
    but but but

    degradation into entropy is the basic tenet of thermodynamics!

    Wait, isn't that the second law though?
    Wouldn't the first law, whatever that may be, be the basic tenet?
    As a practitioner of the laws of thermodynamics, I'm going to waive this criticism under the Seinfeld-Judaism doctrine of 'comedic leeway.'

    A practitioner of the laws of thermodynamics? Are you essentially saying that you are made up of matter and have mass?
    And i'm going to have to continue this line of investigation on the Dykes doctrine of "I'm an asshole who takes things too seriously."

    Picardathon on
  • OboroOboro __BANNED USERS
    edited February 2008
    Oboro wrote: »
    Oboro wrote: »
    jotate wrote: »
    Are you dense?

    Not all of us can be a collection of fucking gaseous water molecules, asshole.
    but but but

    degradation into entropy is the basic tenet of thermodynamics!

    Wait, isn't that the second law though?
    Wouldn't the first law, whatever that may be, be the basic tenet?
    As a practitioner of the laws of thermodynamics, I'm going to waive this criticism under the Seinfeld-Judaism doctrine of 'comedic leeway.'

    A practitioner of the laws of thermodynamics? Are you essentially saying that you are made up of matter and have mass?
    We had the option of opting out of our third trimester Chemistry final in junior year. I was doomed to fail the course regardless, so I figured I would opt out -- no one else in my class was taking that choice, though, so even if I did I would just be bored in the hallway by my lonesome. So, I printed out some Scientology information off the wikipedia, as well as the then-popular youtube video about how ... bananas ... proved intelligent design or something ... and transcribed it all over the test.

    Literally, all over it. Over his words, over the margins. Sometimes I wrote over my own text. Sometimes I would embellish things with oversized and overstated caricatures of bananas with question marks emblazoned onto them.

    He actually gave me the lowest score possible on the test that would give me a passing grade for the course. He said he never wanted to see someone who was such a waste of potential sitting in his class again. I was pretty much overjoyed.

    And that's why I don't have anything more than a baseline knowledge of thermodynamics.

    Oboro on
    words
  • stiliststilist Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    aquabat wrote: »
    stilist wrote: »
    aquabat wrote: »
    stilist wrote: »
    aquabat wrote: »
    Yeah, when I was 4 my penis was my second favourite toy. My first was my Thunder Punch He-man. The best moments of my childhood was when I combined both of those.
    You punched your own wang?
    Thunder punched
    And it’s been down-hill from there, eh? :P
    Actually, I've gone from strength to strength. A random accident with a lighter and the He-man fused it to my penis and when I hit 18, I became a Japanese porn star named Thunder Punch Holmes. I retired in 1967 to write my biography.
    I say, where might one find a copy of this publication? I would greatly enjoy reading of your exploits in the comfort of my home.

    stilist on
    I poop things on my site and twitter
  • PicardathonPicardathon Registered User
    edited February 2008
    Oboro wrote: »
    Oboro wrote: »
    Oboro wrote: »
    jotate wrote: »
    Are you dense?

    Not all of us can be a collection of fucking gaseous water molecules, asshole.
    but but but

    degradation into entropy is the basic tenet of thermodynamics!

    Wait, isn't that the second law though?
    Wouldn't the first law, whatever that may be, be the basic tenet?
    As a practitioner of the laws of thermodynamics, I'm going to waive this criticism under the Seinfeld-Judaism doctrine of 'comedic leeway.'

    A practitioner of the laws of thermodynamics? Are you essentially saying that you are made up of matter and have mass?
    We had the option of opting out of our third trimester Chemistry final in junior year. I was doomed to fail the course regardless, so I figured I would opt out -- no one else in my class was taking that choice, though, so even if I did I would just be bored in the hallway by my lonesome. So, I printed out some Scientology information off the wikipedia, as well as the then-popular youtube video about how ... bananas ... proved intelligent design or something ... and transcribed it all over the test.

    Literally, all over it. Over his words, over the margins. Sometimes I wrote over my own text. Sometimes I would embellish things with oversized and overstated caricatures of bananas with question marks emblazoned onto them.

    He actually gave me the lowest score possible on the test that would give me a passing grade for the course. He said he never wanted to see someone who was such a waste of potential sitting in his class again. I was pretty much overjoyed.

    And that's why I don't have anything more than a baseline knowledge of thermodynamics.

    Man, I wish I was a waste of potential. My teachers just say that I don't put in enough effort.

    Semi-Awkward moment.
    In APUS history we were talking about the political spectrum, and I mentioned that Hitler (I'm sorry but its crucial to the story) was actually a radical who considered himself a reactionary, so do you call him a radical or a reactionary? Because I sort of don't understand my own argument, I repeat it about 5 times to make it somewhat understandable.
    My teacher then proceeded to tell me that I had used the word Hillary in place of Hitler about 20 times in the course of my shpiel.
    This leads to many questions which I end with
    "OKAY I'M VOTING FOR OBAMA, GODDAMN!"
    Everyone laughs, and I get off with a good :oops:

    Picardathon on
  • aquabataquabat Registered User
    edited February 2008
    stilist wrote: »
    aquabat wrote: »
    stilist wrote: »
    aquabat wrote: »
    stilist wrote: »
    aquabat wrote: »
    Yeah, when I was 4 my penis was my second favourite toy. My first was my Thunder Punch He-man. The best moments of my childhood was when I combined both of those.
    You punched your own wang?
    Thunder punched
    And it’s been down-hill from there, eh? :P
    Actually, I've gone from strength to strength. A random accident with a lighter and the He-man fused it to my penis and when I hit 18, I became a Japanese porn star named Thunder Punch Holmes. I retired in 1967 to write my biography.
    I say, where might one find a copy of this publication? I would greatly enjoy reading of your exploits in the comfort of my home.

    Sadly its out of print, but Jason Biggs has purchased the rights and is attempting to create a one man show, off Broadway.

    aquabat on
  • PicardathonPicardathon Registered User
    edited February 2008
    aquabat wrote: »
    stilist wrote: »
    aquabat wrote: »
    stilist wrote: »
    aquabat wrote: »
    stilist wrote: »
    aquabat wrote: »
    Yeah, when I was 4 my penis was my second favourite toy. My first was my Thunder Punch He-man. The best moments of my childhood was when I combined both of those.
    You punched your own wang?
    Thunder punched
    And it’s been down-hill from there, eh? :P
    Actually, I've gone from strength to strength. A random accident with a lighter and the He-man fused it to my penis and when I hit 18, I became a Japanese porn star named Thunder Punch Holmes. I retired in 1967 to write my biography.
    I say, where might one find a copy of this publication? I would greatly enjoy reading of your exploits in the comfort of my home.

    Sadly its out of print, but Jason Biggs has purchased the rights and is attempting to create a one man show, off Broadway.

    That really seems more off-off-broadway to me.

    Picardathon on
  • aquabataquabat Registered User
    edited February 2008
    aquabat wrote: »
    stilist wrote: »
    aquabat wrote: »
    stilist wrote: »
    aquabat wrote: »
    stilist wrote: »
    aquabat wrote: »
    Yeah, when I was 4 my penis was my second favourite toy. My first was my Thunder Punch He-man. The best moments of my childhood was when I combined both of those.
    You punched your own wang?
    Thunder punched
    And it’s been down-hill from there, eh? :P
    Actually, I've gone from strength to strength. A random accident with a lighter and the He-man fused it to my penis and when I hit 18, I became a Japanese porn star named Thunder Punch Holmes. I retired in 1967 to write my biography.
    I say, where might one find a copy of this publication? I would greatly enjoy reading of your exploits in the comfort of my home.

    Sadly its out of print, but Jason Biggs has purchased the rights and is attempting to create a one man show, off Broadway.

    That really seems more off-off-broadway to me.

    You'd be surprised how many people want to see a Thunder-punch pie-fucker

    aquabat on
  • OboroOboro __BANNED USERS
    edited February 2008
    Semi-Awkward moment.
    In APUS history we were talking about the political spectrum, and I mentioned that Hitler (I'm sorry but its crucial to the story) was actually a radical who considered himself a reactionary, so do you call him a radical or a reactionary? Because I sort of don't understand my own argument, I repeat it about 5 times to make it somewhat understandable.
    My teacher then proceeded to tell me that I had used the word Hillary in place of Hitler about 20 times in the course of my shpiel.
    This leads to many questions which I end with
    "OKAY I'M VOTING FOR OBAMA, GODDAMN!"
    Everyone laughs, and I get off with a good :oops:
    We didn't have a history course. We played Axis & Allies on a projector with a Jeopardy Tournament of Champions ... champion ... as our instructor. It was our 'trimester-long project.' Yeah. He got fired. It had more to do, though, with the fact he was an overweight lug of a man who had a nasty habit of causing permanent damage to tables and chairs when he sat on them. He never once fell himself, but the man had an almost uncanny habit of passing the chair to a student just so they could fall through.

    The unexpected benefit of this was that simultaneous budget cuts across the board meant that the excess lounge chairs that the theater academy used for props got shuttled over to our history classroom. So, yes: my junior year history course consisted of 1/3 Jeopardy, 1/3 Axis & Allies, and 1/3 letting our teacher regale us with his own stories of Jeopardic fame ... all from the comfort of couches and reclining chairs.

    Oboro on
    words
  • TaximesTaximes Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    I mean, I never had anything close to sex when I was a kid, but childhood sexual curiosity is a pretty common human behavior.

    Taximes on
  • TofystedethTofystedeth Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    stilist wrote: »
    Well little kids like to run around naked and apparently penis sword fighting isn't really very uncommon
    Maybe in your family.

    Guys, guys, guys.

    The appropriate term is Penis Fencing.

    Tofystedeth on
    steam_sig.png
  • jotatejotate Registered User
    edited February 2008
    Taximes wrote: »
    I mean, I never had anything close to sex when I was a kid, but childhood sexual curiosity is a pretty common human behavior.

    Haha, I did that too. A few years later. With the girl down the street. That's actually kind of a funny story too.

    The girl's name was Rachel. She lived with her grandmother three houses down the road. We'd play doctor and generally do other naughty things (for 8 year olds). She eventually moved away or something, and we stopped hanging out.

    Years later when I was a junior in high school, I joined a local community marching/concert/volunteer type band. There were probably 100 people in the band, all ages 11-19. I met a lot of them and was pretty much acquaintance level friends with everyone.

    Driving down my street one day, I saw one of the bell players getting out of her car. I stopped and said "What the hell are you doing on my road?" She was like "My grandma lives in that house" as she pointed to the yellow house I knew quite well. D:

    She noticed my expression and asked where I lived. I pointed to my house. She joined my sentiment. D:

    We ended up laughing about it later, but it was a pretty huge "Holy fuck, small world!" moment.

    jotate on
    aquabat wrote: »
    stilist wrote: »
    aquabat wrote: »
    Yeah, when I was 4 my penis was my second favourite toy. My first was my Thunder Punch He-man. The best moments of my childhood was when I combined both of those.
    You punched your own wang?

    Thunder punched
  • Rear Admiral ChocoRear Admiral Choco Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    I always found childhood curiosity to be a bit strange, but then I remember that in Grade 1 one of my female friends had told me about "something I saw my mommy and daddy doing" and wanted to try it. I, being 6, didn't know what she was getting at, and so she sat on me.

    Another time I saw at my cousin's birthday party a friend licking some other girl between the legs. I didn't think much of it, but didn't stick around.

    Incidentally, I started the first of these threads with the last bit. :P

    Rear Admiral Choco on
    2WJtdLD.png
  • real_pochaccoreal_pochacco Registered User
    edited February 2008
    Toxic Toys wrote: »
    Tarantio wrote: »
    Toxic Toys wrote: »
    Doc wrote: »
    jesus how hard is it to buy some rubbers on your own

    Well when you're 17 and don't have a job, really fucking hard. You can't buy shit when you don't have money.
    Every week day she came over in the morning, we got high and then fucked.

    Uh.

    I think, perhaps, that you did not think your cunning plan all the way through.

    No man, all the cool kids are doing it.

    Just put your head in a trash bag, and stick your head in a bucket full of water. Repeat as necessary.
    Nothing cool about it. I was a dumb kid in highschool. Oh, and bite me.


    Just wanted to quote this because it's awesome when people get called out on BS

    Can I just say that stoned sex is so amazingly awesome that this is at least a little more understandable?

    real_pochacco on
  • Rear Admiral ChocoRear Admiral Choco Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    As awesome as stoned sex is, sex without condoms is pretty dumb. I mean, I can understand the whole raging hormones thing, but not using any birth control beyond pulling out?

    I'd keep it in the pants.

    Rear Admiral Choco on
    2WJtdLD.png
  • Casual EddyCasual Eddy The Astral PlaneRegistered User regular
    edited February 2008
    my family is sort of strange, no lie.

    I admire my parents for my liberal upbringing though.

    Casual Eddy on
    Elki wrote: »

    Casual Eddy: best poster 2014.
    tyrannus wrote: »
    Casual Eddy: best poster of 2015

    gotta update that stuff man
  • Rear Admiral ChocoRear Admiral Choco Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    My family isn't so strange so much as they are depressing.

    Rear Admiral Choco on
    2WJtdLD.png
  • real_pochaccoreal_pochacco Registered User
    edited February 2008
    As awesome as stoned sex is, sex without condoms is pretty dumb. I mean, I can understand the whole raging hormones thing, but not using any birth control beyond pulling out?

    I'd keep it in the pants.

    Agreed

    real_pochacco on
  • GimGim a tall glass of water Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    So Choco and I are watching TV at his place, we're sitting side by side and I'm leaning on him and I say something funny. He laughs, goes "You're sooooo cute" and grabs my boob and squidges it around all at once while his mom is about two feet away. What the hell, Choco.

    Choco, how do you plead to the charges against you?

    Gim on
  • Rear Admiral ChocoRear Admiral Choco Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    It was random silly fare which is pretty normal between the two of us. One time while playing Eternal Darkness, Cass proceeded to take my limp scared penis into her mouth when a WWI nurse was attacking me.

    Rear Admiral Choco on
    2WJtdLD.png
  • FalxFalx Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    jotate wrote: »
    jotate wrote: »
    jotate wrote: »
    I managed to find one of my friends from preschool on facebook a few months back. I messaged him and said we should hang out. We got together at a bar, us being 23 and not having seen each other since we were 5. We got to drinking. I'm not sure which of us brought it up, but eventually the conversation shifted to whether each of us remembered what we were up to when we were at our preschool. Confirmed, we went into asking what the fuck was wrong with us.

    We each had girlfriends. In preschool. When we were 4. These were our first physical relationships. I'm really not sure I want to go into details.

    Let's just say that TV does in fact affect children at a very young age.

    We were fucked up kids and that preschool did not do enough to make sure they knew where all the kids were during outside playtime.

    :|

    Okay, this is putting horrible pictures in my head.
    You just made me a pervert, just great, you should be very proud of yourself, you horrible person.

    According to my friend who remembered the rationale that was used at the time, sex was equated to "naked pushups."

    Good god, you freak. (Well, not really, but that is really fucking strange).
    Did any adults ever learn about this? I'm presuming not, because if they did it would have gone down as legal precedent.

    We were 4, dude, I can hardly be tried as an adult at fucking 4. We didn't know any better. :(

    I don't think any adults every learned of it. It happened a lot. If anyone ever was aware, they never said anything. Nothing that I remember anyway. I suppose it's possible that I got caught, got yelled at, and then shut the memory out of my mind.

    A friend of mine in school told me once, he used to be lookout for his twin sister and her "boyfriend" who was also his best and pretty much only friend through most of school when they went into the school bathroom for some alone time. In pre-school. He never told me what exactly went on in there.

    Falx on
  • ElkiElki get busy Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited February 2008
    Hi there, aqua.


    Hacksaw to make the next thread.


    20011008h.gif

    Elki on
    smCQ5WE.jpg
This discussion has been closed.