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Revenge of the Strange & Embarrassing Moments

aquabataquabat Registered User
edited February 2008 in Debate and/or Discourse
Oh yes, its that time again, folks. Make us cringe, make us applaud

The other day I was at work talking to my friend, Dan about this psycho-religious girl I know, Mel. I was telling the story how she had a big black dildo poked in her ear as a joke once and, due to her intensely sheltered life nearly vomited at the sight of a big black dildo. I was really going on about how this girl was annoyingly psycho-religious and how she only hated the dildo because it looked like it was from a black man.

About half way through I remembered the new trainee, Shankar, was sitting behind me.

Singaporean and wears a shiny gold crucifix around his neck. Hasnt said a single word to me since.

Ack.

aquabat on
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Posts

  • SirUltimosSirUltimos Don't talk, Rusty. Just paint. Registered User regular
    edited August 2006
    Hooray! I love these threads!

    SirUltimos on
  • RichyRichy Registered User regular
    edited August 2006
    I had a meeting with my supervisor, whose office is in the building next to the one where I work. So I went there on time, and he wasn't there. No surprise there - he's always late. Then I remembered I left some papers in my lab that I might need. Since he's late, I figured I can run to my lab, pick up the papers, come back and relax until he arrives. So I did.

    I came back right as my supervisor was arriving. So no time to relax. I just ran to another building and back and sat down right away, so I ended up sweating during the entire meeting. And the worst of it is, in the end, I didn't even need those papers.

    Richy on
    sig.gif
  • WerespazWerespaz Registered User
    edited August 2006
    Back in the day, I often greeted my friends with "What up mah nigga!?" especially if we weren't in public or anything. One day, I head over to my friends house, walk and greet him in just such a way. He says, "Let me introduce you to my new roommate," who had just came around the corner behind me. Yup, you guessed it, the new roommate was black. I don't think he ever said more the two words to me the whole time he lived there. Needless to say, I don't use that greeting anymore.

    Werespaz on
    Werespaz.jpgfreaksig5.jpg
  • Phoenix SmasherPhoenix Smasher Registered User regular
    edited August 2006
    I used to work at EB Games a few years back, and like alot of moms who come in to shop, the one I had in this story knew nothing about the game she was about to purchas for her kid. It was GTA: Vice City of course. Little Billy didn't look anymore than 7 years old, so I explained to her that this game probably wouldn't have been the best choice. I pointed out Katamari Damacy instead, and told her that not only was it just $20, she wouldn't have to worry about her kid running around blowing up hookers all day.
    "Mom, what's a hooker?"
    She was gonna kill me right there on the spot. :|

    Phoenix Smasher on
  • yalborapyalborap Registered User regular
    edited August 2006
    I used to work at EB Games a few years back, and like alot of moms who come in to shop, the one I had in this story knew nothing about the game she was about to purchas for her kid. It was GTA: Vice City of course. Little Billy didn't look anymore than 7 years old, so I explained to her that this game probably wouldn't have been the best choice. I pointed out Katamari Damacy instead, and told her that not only was it just $20, she wouldn't have to worry about her kid running around blowing up hookers all day.
    "Mom, what's a hooker?"
    She was gonna kill me right there on the spot. :|

    I think I heard this story once before.

    yalborap on
  • Bionic MonkeyBionic Monkey Registered User, ClubPA
    edited August 2006
    yalborap wrote:
    I used to work at EB Games a few years back, and like alot of moms who come in to shop, the one I had in this story knew nothing about the game she was about to purchas for her kid. It was GTA: Vice City of course. Little Billy didn't look anymore than 7 years old, so I explained to her that this game probably wouldn't have been the best choice. I pointed out Katamari Damacy instead, and told her that not only was it just $20, she wouldn't have to worry about her kid running around blowing up hookers all day.
    "Mom, what's a hooker?"
    She was gonna kill me right there on the spot. :|

    I think I heard this story once before.
    I DEMAND A REFUND!!

    Bionic Monkey on
    sig_megas_armed.jpg
  • ArikadoArikado Southern CaliforniaRegistered User regular
    edited August 2006
    Well lemme see...strange/embarrasing moment...

    Ahh yes. Back in college, I had a girlfriend who was rather rebellious compared to the rest of her family. She had come from a Chinese-Catholic family who stick to tradition. Specifically, they already didn't approve of her dating a Mexican who was majoring in Linguistics (I was actually minoring in Ling and majoring in Architecture). Well, my girlfriend made a case for me in that I was as Catholic as they were, which I was not. I haven't been to church since I skipped out on my First Communion when I was 12.

    Anyways, my girlfriend's sister was in this church group and was putting on a show about how following God can help people make the right choices. My girlfriend was being dragged to see it so I figured I should go with her so she wouldn't suffer alone. So we sat and watched this whole play. I remember one scene had some court convicting some killer who just so happened to be the judge's son. So the judge takes the electric chair for him (yeah that one boggled my mind).

    So, after he play, my and my gf go up to say hi to her sis and make a run for my car. Well, guess who else was there to watch the play? Yep, my girlfriend's mom was near the exit. So aside from the mindless Chinese chatter and constant looks I was getting from her mom, I pretty much was praying to any God to help us out. It got even worse when her mom asked me questions about the play and so forth, almost testing me. Each reply garnered me more angry or dissappointed looks. As the room was clearing out, I managed to walk out with my gf and her mom towards my car (me being in a rush and all).

    My gf is in the passanger seat and talking through the window to her mom while I'm putting our umbrellas in the backseat. As her mom walks away, I get in the car and managed to slam my forehead super hard as I sit down. That's when I yell out "GOD FUCKING DAMMIT" super loud surrounded by Catholics in a parking lot while my girlfriend's Catholic mom is a few feet away from us.

    Yeah...

    Arikado on
    BNet: Arikado#1153 | Steam | LoL: Anzen
  • Phoenix SmasherPhoenix Smasher Registered User regular
    edited August 2006
    yalborap wrote:
    I used to work at EB Games a few years back, and like alot of moms who come in to shop, the one I had in this story knew nothing about the game she was about to purchas for her kid. It was GTA: Vice City of course. Little Billy didn't look anymore than 7 years old, so I explained to her that this game probably wouldn't have been the best choice. I pointed out Katamari Damacy instead, and told her that not only was it just $20, she wouldn't have to worry about her kid running around blowing up hookers all day.
    "Mom, what's a hooker?"
    She was gonna kill me right there on the spot. :|

    I think I heard this story once before.
    I posted it in the employee lounge thread back in the day.

    Phoenix Smasher on
  • SpoonySpoony Registered User regular
    edited August 2006
    I know a girl who is absolutely terrified of the word "vagina." Saying it around her actually makes her throw up. Of course, my friends and I can't let this go. So the entire night, we were just randomly replacing words with "vagina." We were constructing sentances like, "Can you vagina me the vagina?" To make things more interesting, we were at my friends house and he has a cat. An adorable cat. The cat walks in and my very drunk, female friend yells out, "Pussy!" Boom. Girl bolts to the bathroom and starts puking.

    I laughed so hard that my face hurt for two days.

    Spoony on
  • KaputaKaputa Registered User regular
    edited August 2006
    The first two Strange and Embarrassing Moments threads were some of the most entertaining threads ever.

    I posted this story in G&T a while back, but I doubt most of you have seen it, so I'll post it here as well.

    A few weeks ago I was at my dad's house for a couple of days. He was at a bar, and I wanted to play Intelligent Cube, so I decided to look for his PSX games. They were not in the drawer I expected them to be in, so I opened a random closet, and instead saw a pile of porn magazines. This did not describe me, as he is a 50 year old guy who doesn't live with his girlfriend at the moment.

    On top of the magazines, though, was a 300 fucking page hentai manga, which I assume he bought on one of his 5 or so trips to Japan.

    I'm not one to judge people for their tastes in porn, but it was kind of an odd thing to discover about my dad.

    Oh well, at least it wasn't lolicon.

    Kaputa on
  • _J__J_ Pedant Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2006
    ritakarr1.jpg

    I'm going to say this picture will lead to some strange and embarrassing moments...for Rita "I'm a fucking stupid bitch" Cosby.

    _J_ on
  • TreelootTreeloot Registered User regular
    edited August 2006
    The funniest embarrassing moment (I can recall that didn't happen to me) happend in ninth grade Social Studies.

    This black girl was really pissed at a guy for some reason and was reading him the riot act. She finished off her rant with ...And you can eat a big chocolate ass dick. That line would have been damn good by itself, but the moment she saw the teacher behind her was classic.

    In the end she only received a lecture.
    kaputa12 wrote:
    On top of the magazines, though, was a 300 fucking page hentai manga, which I assume he bought on one of his 5 or so trips to Japan

    I remember this guy paid me $5 a few years ago to burn him a porn movie. Originally he wanted lesbian hentai (no dicks or I'll kill you!) but I didn't have any hentai. He was cool getting some regular porn though. The day after he got the disc he told me he only watched it once and then threw it out because he was scared his "ex drug cop dad" would find it.

    Then yesterday a friend of mine was shocked when he found out I wasn't much of a hentai fan.

    What's with people assume I'm a hentai buff?

    Treeloot on
  • KaputaKaputa Registered User regular
    edited August 2006
    Treeloot wrote:
    kaputa12 wrote:
    On top of the magazines, though, was a 300 fucking page hentai manga, which I assume he bought on one of his 5 or so trips to Japan

    I remember this guy paid me $5 a few years ago to burn him a porn movie. Originally he wanted lesbian hentai (no dicks or I'll kill you!) but I didn't have any hentai. He was cool getting some regular porn though. The day after he got the disc he told me he only watched it once and then threw it out because he was scared his "ex drug cop dad" would find it.

    Then yesterday a friend of mine was shocked when he found out I wasn't much of a hentai fan.

    What's with people assume I'm a hentai buff?
    Maybe they just associate "games & anime fan" with "hentai fan" ? There is a bit of a correlation there, especially when it comes to anime.

    And why did your friend even ask for the porn if he was that afraid of his dad finding it? That's silly.

    Kaputa on
  • yalborapyalborap Registered User regular
    edited August 2006
    kaputa12 wrote:
    Treeloot wrote:
    kaputa12 wrote:
    On top of the magazines, though, was a 300 fucking page hentai manga, which I assume he bought on one of his 5 or so trips to Japan

    I remember this guy paid me $5 a few years ago to burn him a porn movie. Originally he wanted lesbian hentai (no dicks or I'll kill you!) but I didn't have any hentai. He was cool getting some regular porn though. The day after he got the disc he told me he only watched it once and then threw it out because he was scared his "ex drug cop dad" would find it.

    Then yesterday a friend of mine was shocked when he found out I wasn't much of a hentai fan.

    What's with people assume I'm a hentai buff?
    Maybe they just associate "games & anime fan" with "hentai fan" ? There is a bit of a correlation there, especially when it comes to anime.

    And why did your friend even ask for the porn if he was that afraid of his dad finding it? That's silly.

    Very much so.

    And yeah, the unwashed masses generally assosciate 'anime' with 'cartoon porn'.

    yalborap on
  • Dread Pirate ArbuthnotDread Pirate Arbuthnot OMG WRIGGLY T O X O P L A S M O S I SRegistered User regular
    edited August 2006
    My older brother is a pretty manly dude. He has a big ol' beard, chest hair. Muscular and tanned. Completely masculine in every way. The man does reps and sasses ladies.

    He also has a copy of Animal Crossing in his apartment.

    One day I asked him if he could pop it in. He got a very strange look on his face and told me it was "for his girlfriend" and "I probably shouldn't touch it. Just in case."

    The next day he wasn't home when I woke up, so I was bored. So I popped it in. His character was a girl in a dress, who walked out of his house. With a pink roof.

    The house is filled with the pink and heart-covered Lovely furniture. The basement is filled with dresses. So many dresses. He has a beautiful flower garden around his house. THERE'S A STATUE OF HIM IN FRONT OF THE TRAIN STATION.

    On the island that you sail to, the flag is a huge cock and balls.

    Later I heard him loudly complaining to his girlfriend over the phone that he didn't have enough room in his house for 'all of my dresses' without 'messing it up, I don't want to get a bad score from the house checker association.'

    Dread Pirate Arbuthnot on
  • yalborapyalborap Registered User regular
    edited August 2006
    Cass wrote:
    My older brother is a pretty manly dude. He has a big ol' beard, chest hair. Muscular and tanned. Completely masculine in every way. The man does reps and sasses ladies.

    He also has a copy of Animal Crossing in his apartment.

    One day I asked him if he could pop it in. He got a very strange look on his face and told me it was "for his girlfriend" and "I probably shouldn't touch it. Just in case."

    The next day he wasn't home when I woke up, so I was bored. So I popped it in. His character was a girl in a dress, who walked out of his house. With a pink roof.

    The house is filled with the pink and heart-covered Lovely furniture. The basement is filled with dresses. So many dresses. He has a beautiful flower garden around his house. THERE'S A STATUE OF HIM IN FRONT OF THE TRAIN STATION.

    On the island that you sail to, the flag is a huge cock and balls.

    Later I heard him loudly complaining to his girlfriend over the phone that he didn't have enough room in his house for 'all of my dresses' without 'messing it up, I don't want to get a bad score from the house checker association.'

    Wait.

    You mean that's NOT how you're supposed to play the game?

    News to me.

    yalborap on
  • KaputaKaputa Registered User regular
    edited August 2006
    Oh god Cass that story is awesome. Does he know you saw his horrible secrets?

    Kaputa on
  • HappylilElfHappylilElf Registered User regular
    edited August 2006
    So this past summer a semi-large group of friends of mine decided to go tubing down a river. Of course we brought along large amounts of drinks. We ended up being on the river for the entire afternoon. Afterwards we hit up a couple of bars in the area and drank some more. We ended up heading back to town at a rather late in the evening. I even met a cute girl who I seemed to get along with very well and actually ended up talking to the entire ride back to town.

    All in all I thought it had turned out to be a pretty good day.

    The next day however I had a message from one of my friends on the phone. You see he was the one who was the DD and had driven me and a couple of other friends back to town. He was also the one who introduced me to said cute girl.

    Apparently I had called him no less than 30 times after getting home, trying to get that girl's number as I had forgotten to ask her for it. I also am told I accused him of stealing some cash from me that fell out on the river which is laughable since A: ot fell outon the river and B: he already has more money than he knows what to do with. I also realized that I had no idea if I had gotten along with that girl at all since I couldn't remember anything we talked about. Her name was pretty much the only thing I remembered. In fact when I saw her again at a party I didn't even recognize her. And when she tried to continue the conversation we were having I was forced to admit I had no memory of it whatsoever. She wasn't very amused.
    Fun >_<

    HappylilElf on
  • Bob The MonkeyBob The Monkey Registered User regular
    edited August 2006
    I was having a chat with my family at the dinner table, and the conversation reminded me of something that happened to me once. So I say:

    "This reminds me of how I found out that Father Christmas wasn't real."

    I went on to tell the anecdote, embellishing it with humourous touches that I was really quite proud of. Talked for about 3 minutes. Then I noticed no-one was laughing, and some were actually giving me sour looks.

    And I turned left, and saw my 4 year old cousin looking very confused.

    Bob The Monkey on
  • yalborapyalborap Registered User regular
    edited August 2006
    I was having a chat with my family at the dinner table, and the conversation reminded me of something that happened to me once. So I say:

    "This reminds me of how I found out that Father Christmas wasn't real."

    I went on to tell the anecdote, embellishing it with humourous touches that I was really quite proud of. Talked for about 3 minutes. Then I noticed no-one was laughing, and some were actually giving me sour looks.

    And I turned left, and saw my 4 year old cousin looking very confused.

    Well now we need to hear the story in the story.

    How'd you find out Father Christmas wasn't real?

    yalborap on
  • Bob The MonkeyBob The Monkey Registered User regular
    edited August 2006
    Oh, that bit's not important. I basically heard my Dad yelling "NO, NO, HE STILL THINKS THE PRESENTS COME FROM FATHER CHRISTMAS, NO, HE HASN'T WORKED IT OUT YET AND WE HAVEN'T TOLD HIM" on the phone to his sister.

    But obviously to make that into a viable anecdote you have to tart it up a bit.

    Bob The Monkey on
  • PotatoNinjaPotatoNinja Fake Gamer Goat Registered User regular
    edited August 2006
    I was really hungry and there were alot of dishes, so I grabbed the first big stovetop pot I could grab and started making myself some Au Gratin Potatoes.

    Did not notice: Was not in fact "pot," but instead "very large glass bowl."

    Everything was going fine, the potatoes were cooking, the cheese goo was in. Then I added ice-cold milk. My sister ran downstairs to see what I was screaming about. "What's wrong, are you ok?"

    The glass bowl had exploded (rather suddenly and loudly), and the kitchen was covered in milky-cheese-goo. I was dumbfounded but otherwise uninjured.

    Took a few weeks to live that down :(

    PotatoNinja on
    Two goats enter, one car leaves
  • RocketSauceRocketSauce Registered User regular
    edited August 2006
    This was a night of first times.

    I was pretty nerdy, and had not really drank until I was almost 21. So my friend and I decide to get drunk (me for the first time). We get his brother to hook us up with some Wild Turkey and some hard lemonade.

    We're in college, and my dormroom was as good a place as any. So my friend and I are getting wasted, my roommate is hilariously watching the whole thing (I did a lot of drunken dancing). Eventually, he starts inviting people over to watch., as well as his girlfriend. They get entertained, especially since I am pretty quiet, keep to myself.

    We get a pretty good buzz going, by drinking 3/4 of the bigass bottle of Wild Turkey. We're just guzzling it straight out of the bottle. We top it off with the hard lemonades.

    After all that, I'm feeling pretty wiped. so I just lay down. Mind you, I'm completely conscious and aware of the entire evening. Interesting side fact: I have never lost recollection, or vomited no matter how much I've drank, just a weird ability I guess. Hooray for generations of alcoholics in my family.

    So my body is nearly paralized (can't do anything but lay, literally). I notice the bed starts shaking (we were in bunk beds). In my drunken haze, I'm like "there's no way that's what I think they're doing". I resign to the fact that it's probably nothing, when shortly later I hear some horendus vomiting noises coming from down below. It's my best friend puking his guts out. Not only that, but the bed keeps on shaking.

    Turns out my friend was in fact puking everything he had eaten onto our floor (pizza), and my roommate lost his virginity while that was happening. Not only that, but my friend started screaming, "I'm going to die!!!" and "I want my mom!!!" in a drunken death yell. It took about an hour of him feeling like he was about to die before things calmed down, and he want and sat in the shower until like 8 in the morning.

    RocketSauce on
  • ElkiElki get busy Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited August 2006
    Cass, that is the first thing that made me laugh today. <3

    Elki on
    smCQ5WE.jpg
  • IloroKamouIloroKamou Registered User
    edited August 2006
    This was a night of first times.

    I was pretty nerdy, and had not really drank until I was almost 21. So my friend and I decide to get drunk (me for the first time). We get his brother to hook us up with some Wild Turkey and some hard lemonade.

    We're in college, and my dormroom was as good a place as any. So my friend and I are getting wasted, my roommate is hilariously watching the whole thing (I did a lot of drunken dancing). Eventually, he starts inviting people over to watch., as well as his girlfriend. They get entertained, especially since I am pretty quiet, keep to myself.

    We get a pretty good buzz going, by drinking 3/4 of the bigass bottle of Wild Turkey. We're just guzzling it straight out of the bottle. We top it off with the hard lemonades.

    After all that, I'm feeling pretty wiped. so I just lay down. Mind you, I'm completely conscious and aware of the entire evening. Interesting side fact: I have never lost recollection, or vomited no matter how much I've drank, just a weird ability I guess. Hooray for generations of alcoholics in my family.

    So my body is nearly paralized (can't do anything but lay, literally). I notice the bed starts shaking (we were in bunk beds). In my drunken haze, I'm like "there's no way that's what I think they're doing". I resign to the fact that it's probably nothing, when shortly later I hear some horendus vomiting noises coming from down below. It's my best friend puking his guts out. Not only that, but the bed keeps on shaking.

    Turns out my friend was in fact puking everything he had eaten onto our floor (pizza), and my roommate lost his virginity while that was happening. Not only that, but my friend started screaming, "I'm going to die!!!" and "I want my mom!!!" in a drunken death yell. It took about an hour of him feeling like he was about to die before things calmed down, and he want and sat in the shower until like 8 in the morning.

    This reminds me of the time when we got the quite nerdy guy in our dorms to drink out of the beer bong we had in our door room. He had never done much drinking, and he had definitely never hit a beer bong, but I'll give him this, the poor guy was determined. Unfortunately, every time he attempted it(4 times, i shit you not), beer would literally shoot out of his nose. This in turn would cause him to tear up and start crying, and then subsequently start laughing as we would all be absolutely busting up. So there's beer covering him and our dorm room floor, and various liquids streaming down his face. 4 times later though, still couldn't keep it down, beer out the nose every time.

    IloroKamou on
    "There are some that only employ words for the purpose of disguising their thoughts."
  • [Tycho?][Tycho?] Registered User regular
    edited August 2006
    This was a night of first times.

    I was pretty nerdy, and had not really drank until I was almost 21. So my friend and I decide to get drunk (me for the first time). We get his brother to hook us up with some Wild Turkey and some hard lemonade.

    We're in college, and my dormroom was as good a place as any. So my friend and I are getting wasted, my roommate is hilariously watching the whole thing (I did a lot of drunken dancing). Eventually, he starts inviting people over to watch., as well as his girlfriend. They get entertained, especially since I am pretty quiet, keep to myself.

    We get a pretty good buzz going, by drinking 3/4 of the bigass bottle of Wild Turkey. We're just guzzling it straight out of the bottle. We top it off with the hard lemonades.

    After all that, I'm feeling pretty wiped. so I just lay down. Mind you, I'm completely conscious and aware of the entire evening. Interesting side fact: I have never lost recollection, or vomited no matter how much I've drank, just a weird ability I guess. Hooray for generations of alcoholics in my family.

    So my body is nearly paralized (can't do anything but lay, literally). I notice the bed starts shaking (we were in bunk beds). In my drunken haze, I'm like "there's no way that's what I think they're doing". I resign to the fact that it's probably nothing, when shortly later I hear some horendus vomiting noises coming from down below. It's my best friend puking his guts out. Not only that, but the bed keeps on shaking.

    Turns out my friend was in fact puking everything he had eaten onto our floor (pizza), and my roommate lost his virginity while that was happening. Not only that, but my friend started screaming, "I'm going to die!!!" and "I want my mom!!!" in a drunken death yell. It took about an hour of him feeling like he was about to die before things calmed down, and he want and sat in the shower until like 8 in the morning.

    Hahahaha, gold.

    [Tycho?] on
    mvaYcgc.jpg
  • Salvation122Salvation122 Registered User regular
    edited August 2006
    I'm in university marching band, as was this girl. I'd been told there was to be some kind of "social thing" that night, and planned on asking her out then.

    I did not realize that said "social thing" would be rollerskating.

    I had not been rollerskating in at least ten years.

    I am also the most uncoordinated sumbitch on the planet.

    So I'm on skates, going around the rink in circles, trying to catch up with Lovely, who is quite visibly more comfortable on wheels than I am, attaining ever-higher speeds. I approached the corner, started to pull up next to her -

    - a motherfucking contact falls out -

    - I swerve to avoid a dark blob that may or may not be a person, lose my balance, flail around wildly, and go ass over teakettle in the opposite direction from Lovely, which shows that someone is listening to my prayers -

    - three other people hit me -

    - and all 150lb of me lands on my left wrist, which now appears to have a rather large tumor growing out of it.

    And she ended up having a boyfriend anyway.

    Salvation122 on
  • KusuguttaiKusuguttai __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2006
    Last night, a big pack of friends and I went to go see Beerfest. When we get out, we start talking loudly about it. I start going on about how the movie had everything: tits and beer. All of a sudden, I hear this female voice say to me, quite sarcastically, "Yeah, it's all about the tits, huh?" To which I reply, "Yes."
    and my friend chimes in with "If there's anything better than tits, I don't want to know what it is." We say all this without turning around or anything. This chick then starts going on about "Yeah, I bet sixteen year olds see a whole bunch of tits, blah blah blah" So I turn around to make a retort, when I see this really fat, really ugly girl walking away. I decided that God had punished her enough, and kept my mouth shut.

    I thought it was pretty strange and rude at the time.

    Kusuguttai on
  • MutePrezMutePrez Registered User regular
    edited August 2006
    Man oh man. I was at a party last month at my friend's orchard. There was plenty of alcohol to be had for all. Some friends and I were sitting on a big trampoline with our sleeping bags out because it's really cold out. Plus the added fun of being on a trampoline while buzzed. One guy, let's name him B, had had a lot to drink. One thing to note : B was the only black guy there, and he was completely wasted. He started getting edgy, spoiling for a fight. First he asked all the guys if they knew how to kickbox. Now he's a big guy, so naturally everyone said no. He took this as a sign he was the baddest motherfucker there and started rapping about his hometown of detroit.

    My friend, let's call him P, then makes some compliment about his display. P has been doing martial arts for several years now, and although he's a bit short, he's built like an ox. B mishears him and thinks P just called him something racist. One thing leads to another, and B wants to beat the shit out of P. At first, P thinks he can take him on, but then realizes B's so drunk he wouldn't feel any pain and just keep on going. P runs for it while everyone else tries to hold B back. Cue a half-hour of people running around in the dark trying to make sure B doesn't find P. Finally, B goes back to the party area with some people and waits around for P to come back.

    So there we are, sitting around, trying to convince B to leave. Suddenly, I hear the trampoline starting to squeak, but when I look there's no one jumping up and down on it.

    Upon closer inspection, we notice a lump in one of the sleeping bags bouncing up and down. We all look at each other and laugh a bit, and go back to talking.

    After a few minutes, they stop. We hear the sleeping bag unzip, so naturally, we look to see who it is. The guy pops his head out and glares at us. Being the teenagers we are, we immediately broke out in a rousing
    "EEEEYYYYY!"
    But the guy glares at us some more, then shushes us. He rezipped the sleeping bag, and starts going at it again. We grin and move elsewhere. My friend O goes "wait a second...they're in my sleeping bag..." He had the biggest D= I've ever seen.

    B finally leaves, and P comes out of hiding in the trees. 'twas an interesting night.

    MutePrez on
  • jarednielsonjarednielson Registered User
    edited August 2006
    MutePrez wrote:
    Man oh man. I was at a party last month at my friend's orchard. There was plenty of alcohol to be had for all. Some friends and I were sitting on a big trampoline with our sleeping bags out because it's really cold out. Plus the added fun of being on a trampoline while buzzed. One guy, let's name him B, had had a lot to drink. One thing to note : B was the only black guy there, and he was completely wasted. He started getting edgy, spoiling for a fight. First he asked all the guys if they knew how to kickbox. Now he's a big guy, so naturally everyone said no. He took this as a sign he was the baddest motherfucker there and started rapping about his hometown of detroit.

    My friend, let's call him P, then makes some compliment about his display. P has been doing martial arts for several years now, and although he's a bit short, he's built like an ox. B mishears him and thinks P just called him something racist. One thing leads to another, and B wants to beat the shit out of P. At first, P thinks he can take him on, but then realizes B's so drunk he wouldn't feel any pain and just keep on going. P runs for it while everyone else tries to hold B back. Cue a half-hour of people running around in the dark trying to make sure B doesn't find P. Finally, B goes back to the party area with some people and waits around for P to come back.

    So there we are, sitting around, trying to convince B to leave. Suddenly, I hear the trampoline starting to squeak, but when I look there's no one jumping up and down on it.

    Upon closer inspection, we notice a lump in one of the sleeping bags bouncing up and down. We all look at each other and laugh a bit, and go back to talking.

    After a few minutes, they stop. We hear the sleeping bag unzip, so naturally, we look to see who it is. The guy pops his head out and glares at us. Being the teenagers we are, we immediately broke out in a rousing
    "EEEEYYYYY!"
    But the guy glares at us some more, then shushes us. He rezipped the sleeping bag, and starts going at it again. We grin and move elsewhere. My friend O goes "wait a second...they're in my sleeping bag..." He had the biggest D= I've ever seen.

    B finally leaves, and P comes out of hiding in the trees. 'twas an interesting night.
    I hate people that start shit because they're drunk, douschebags

    jarednielson on
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  • DarkDragoonDarkDragoon Registered User regular
    edited August 2006
    Back during the summer, some friends and I started to regularly go to the next county over and hang out at this public creek. One day, we were horsing around and of the guys grabbed my head, intending to push me off in another direction. Instead, he mistakenly slammed it right into some rocks. Angered (I thought he had done this purposely at first) and in pain, I started screaming random obscene phrases, namely "Jesus Fucking Christ, you fucking slammed my head into the fucking rocks, you mother fucker". He said "Dude, you just told me not to use that type of language when kids are around" (which I did when he had screamed fuck around some kids earlier on). I asked what he was talking about, and then turned around. Standing right behind us, on the area right above where we were swimming in, was a couple and their two small kids.

    DarkDragoon on
    Who was arguing for the sea, and talking about the beach?
    The beach kills sea creatures. It's why we go there. To get naked and watch our enemies die.
  • YodaTunaYodaTuna Registered User regular
    edited August 2006
    Alright, this was fucked up...

    I was finally moving out of my fucking mom's house. I'm busy packing the Uhaul with all my shit. In and out of the house over and over. One time as I'm walking out the door and they thought I was outside, I hear my mom tell her husband "Please cut out my hemmeroids for me!"

    I screamed and almost threw up.

    YodaTuna on
  • Dread Pirate ArbuthnotDread Pirate Arbuthnot OMG WRIGGLY T O X O P L A S M O S I SRegistered User regular
    edited August 2006
    kaputa12 wrote:
    Oh god Cass that story is awesome. Does he know you saw his horrible secrets?

    He suspects, but can't prove anything.

    Dread Pirate Arbuthnot on
  • matt7718matt7718 Registered User
    edited August 2006
    College, I was off campus finally living in a house with some good friends. The first week we are back my ladyfriend at the time comes over a few days before classes start and we get our bone on.

    During said boning, a knock on my door interrupts. "I'm kinda busy!" To which my roommate and best friend at the door replies "I know man, but Daniel has company over... like... actual adults."

    Turns out one of my roommates bosses had come over to see the house and apparently heard us having sex.

    :oops: :oops: :oops:

    matt7718 on
    mattsig.jpg
  • Torso BoyTorso Boy Registered User regular
    edited August 2006
    YodaTuna wrote:
    Alright, this was fucked up...

    I was finally moving out of my fucking mom's house. I'm busy packing the Uhaul with all my shit. In and out of the house over and over. One time as I'm walking out the door and they thought I was outside, I hear my mom tell her husband "Please cut out my hemmeroids for me!"

    I screamed and almost threw up.
    Win? Win.

    Torso Boy on
    Rent wrote: »
    So that's what having no idea what you are talking about looks like
  • nexuscrawlernexuscrawler Registered User regular
    edited August 2006
    Cass wrote:
    kaputa12 wrote:
    Oh god Cass that story is awesome. Does he know you saw his horrible secrets?

    He suspects, but can't prove anything.

    Cass that was one of the most ohrrifying and hilarious things ever

    nexuscrawler on
  • jarednielsonjarednielson Registered User
    edited August 2006
    I moved out of my parents house awhile back but left all my porn movies in the basement since I was gonna have the internet. Anyway i go back there a few weeks later and find one of my movies in the vcr.
    All the movies were rearranged and switched around.
    I do not want think of my mom or dad watching my porn.

    jarednielson on
    1fdd6q1.jpg
  • FyreWulffFyreWulff Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2006
    I moved out of my parents house awhile back but left all my porn movies in the basement since I was gonna have the internet. Anyway i go back there a few weeks later and find one of my movies in the vcr.
    All the movies were rearranged and switched around.
    I do not want think of my mom or dad watching my porn.

    I hate to tell you, but they were probably watching it even before you moved out. :wink:

    FyreWulff on
  • aquabataquabat Registered User
    edited August 2006
    FyreWulff wrote:
    I moved out of my parents house awhile back but left all my porn movies in the basement since I was gonna have the internet. Anyway i go back there a few weeks later and find one of my movies in the vcr.
    All the movies were rearranged and switched around.
    I do not want think of my mom or dad watching my porn.

    I hate to tell you, but they were probably watching it even before you moved out. :wink:

    On your bed
    Cutting hemmeroids

    aquabat on
  • SliverSliver Registered User regular
    edited August 2006
    My cousin was having a social gathering of sorts. And I notice this girl Leah. Imagine Natalie Portman if she were 5 foot 9. I mean this girl looked so much like Natalie Portman she gets mistaken for Natalie Portman. I'd been loading up on food at the party all afternoon and finally I decide it's time to talk to her and try not to make an ass of myself. I get about as far as, "Hello" and then someones twerp brother who could have been no older than 12 starts tugging on my shirt and generally being a pain in my ass. <BRILLIANT IDEA>So I decide to belch in the kids face and hope he gets the hell away from me.</BRILLIANT IDEA> And half way through this baratone whale call of a beltch I notice noodles coming out of my mouth. Before I know it all the food I'd eaten at this party suddenly came cascading out of my mouth creating a 4 foot arc of multicolored vomit. Suffice it to say Leah was less than impressed.

    Sliver on
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