Craigslist: The Horror Within

Trillian

I like to browse Craigslist every so often, when I feel like taking a peek in to the very bottom of the barrel of internet society. There you find all manner of creeps, losers and downright weirdos looking to get their rocks off in any way that suits them.

I'm not talking just the erotic gigs section either:

Take this post for example http://vancouver.en.craigslist.ca/pet/834778403.html

So, SE++, what has Craigslist brought you?
Love?
A sweet pair of boots?
I'm not sure, but it burns when I pee?

trentsteel

Borfase

Futore

I used to go on craigslist but now I just come here to SE++ when i'm looking for JO buddies

Seattle Thread

Hahaha un-neutered what the hell

Polago

Craigslist has brought me money and sacks of laughs.

Is it weirder that the girl in that ad above says un-neutered and big dog, or that she's petite? the latter almost implies she wants the owner to check her out.

Me Too!

You know I never looked the listings for my town before
Man
There is some weird porn shit going on in the city

trentsteel

"105ave 107th st just behind modern beauty supplies, I get there about 7am, I will be in my little blue aveo just come to my window.. show me what you want and I will deliver I am not a hooker, I am not looking for a relationship just quick sex before the day begins.... I like my men to be dominant, if you need to do something to "get" my attention just call out the name carla then I will know you read this... :-) "


WHOA

This is blocks from my house. Is the whole site full of crazy shit like that?

Polago

Trent,

It's bursting at the seams with it.

Cold Salmon and Hatred

WoW anyone? - w4w

Lesbian gamer seeking other lesbian/bi gamers to play with (both online and offline) I'm attractive, fun, and play world of warcraft. I'm an "altaholic" so if you are already set up on a particular server then that's not a problem.

Lucent

Trent. It is imperitive.

Get a video camera. And go there.

For the internet.

Bucketman

Man theres some really weird shit on there in my area.

Jesus christ theres a ad here were they meet at the school 5 houses down from me.

trentsteel

"Adventurous, curious married male with a fantasy to play with and explore another males cock, balls and ass and ultimately jerk him off to completion.

Get naked and share a shower where I will soap down and manually explore your man parts front and back.

After the shower you lay back and/or assume the postions of my choosing and I will apply lots of lube to your cock, balls and ass and massage and manually pleasure your parts. Ultimately I will jerk you off to a nice cum. I may also insert some fingers in your ass so I can give a gentle but stimulating prostate massage which will definately intensify your cum, perhaps even slowly insert my cock in your ass if mutually agreed..(no ass fucking - just penitration) I will jerk off to my own cum when I feel the need for release. All you have to do is lay back and enjoy "


NO ass-fucking guys, just penetration

Seattle Thread

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/msr/827780616.html

Well, at least she knows exactly what she wants

Polago

This is an ugly fucking couch.

Dex Dynamo

JO on my sons trains

Also take some imitation crab meat it is fine we just bought too much!

Lucent

Someone screencap trent's post for posterity and out of context goodness. We can show it to his grandchildren later.

J3p

Holy shit Polago at least give us a NSFW warning or something

Graves

I am a married white man looking for to have an affair with a married white woman. I'm wanting a married woman because I am looking for discretion and secrecy. I am self employed and can get away when needed. I am sane, kind thoughtful, and in relatively good shape. I am looking for sex yes, but also friendship and romance. If this sounds like something you woul e interested I would like to hear from you.
Till then

Now imagine guys, what if his wife responded to this?

DrIanMalcolm

Go to that address Trent

Polago

Infant Ironman swimsuit. What hardcore grade baby is busting laps in that getup?

Raiden333

Oh Missed Connections page, you always give me a daily laugh.

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/scz/mis/834317224.html

Dely Apple

Cold Salmon and Hatred wrote: »

WoW anyone? - w4w

Lesbian gamer seeking other lesbian/bi gamers to play with (both online and offline) I'm attractive, fun, and play world of warcraft. I'm an "altaholic" so if you are already set up on a particular server then that's not a problem.

Mr. Elliotto's life takes a tragic step in the wrong direction.

Futore

Dex Dynamo wrote: »

JO on my sons trains

Also take some imitation crab meat it is fine we just bought too much!

This and the Twister guy are really awesome

Seattle Thread

"Scott at PAX - w4m - 26 (Seattle, WA)


Hi, Scott!

You gave me your cool business card a day after we waited in line together at the Rock Band 2 booth. Unfortunately, I lost it. Now I'm on craigslist looking for you because this service is handy. Hey, it might work.

-T."

Well, get on it, Scott

Graves

uh http://sfbay.craigslist.org/scz/mis/833998189.html

wow

Polago

The best missed connections are the ones with meticulous detail behind every movement the person made and what they wore, how they smelled, and the intonations of everything they said while ordering a mean bean chalupa, like a stalker awareness ad. The PAX forum has this occasionally but craigslist features the bitch.

Polago

Graves wrote: »

uh http://sfbay.craigslist.org/scz/mis/833998189.html

wow

"selibant"

hahaahaha

Futore

Graves wrote: »

uh http://sfbay.craigslist.org/scz/mis/833998189.html

wow

yar. The sea is a cocktease mistress.

Graves

Mary, This is Michael, We met in Dorrington. We had dinner together. You told me your name & when I put it in my phone it didnt work. I called Margrette Maze Middle school, no help there. You are 190 miles from me & I would love to come see you. You told me I could call you Maria also. I just want to spend more time with you in front of me. I am looking for you, you are definetily on my mind. Peace, If you know the Jr. high teacher thats 37 looks 27 Mexican American female, beautifuk bi-lingual, Please tell her , Thank you Michael



Freudian slip?

Raiden333

That's my hometown for ya.

trentsteel

It is OK to fellate, spank, whip, have anonymous sex with through care window, beat, sodomize this person, but it is NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Raiden333

Raiden333 wrote: »

That's my hometown for ya.

oh, wait, no, this is.

Thank you for your beautiful words. As I read themm I felt you on a deeper than normal level. My eyes welled up with tears the sentence before you wrote that you could feel my tears. You felt them because they were yours. Your love flows through me, as do your tears, fears hopes and dreams.

You were so precise when you spoke of life lessons pertaining to our twin sparks. In our human form we want to control and possess. The human experience of such an intense connection leaves us wanting more. It is difficult to not push for more because it feels so magical. We both know if we do push for more, it won’t be enough. It will never be enough unless we BOTH catch up with one anther. You shift between the matrix, as do I, and you exist with me inside and outside the box. You pulling me as I pull you. We are almost there...so close…My greatest anticipation is for us to unite in the way we were intended – perhaps now but if not, certainly after we leave this earth. Should I go first, I will be waiting to pull the string to guide you back to me as soon as you drift away in search of me. Never fear not waking up, for I am tied to you and I will not let you sleep for long…for we ARE one.

My heart aches for you but I know that you are with me and I am with you. My spirit is calm and at peace in and with you. I wanted to respond to your post as soon as you wrote but I needed time to quiet my mind and body in order to get in touch with the important aspects of what I want to share. And it is important. We both know that in our bodily form our senses are strong. If we lose one sense, our other senses get stronger until it over compensates for all of our weaker one. Is it possible that our spirits have become so week because our bodies and minds have become so strong?

We both know that we can manifest and create our lives here on earth through our mind, heart & body..all of our weakest senses. And those are pretty powerful senses. What happens if we have the power to manifest beyond the physical? What happens if we have the power to manifest the after life? What happens if we can only live the after life if we create it to live here and now? Same rules apply to our life in the bodily form. What makes the afterlife so different? I woke up Monday morning almost paralyzed with this thought. It’s no longer about “faith” in that afterlife. It is about creating the afterlife here and now. I know you fear the lack of afterlife as do I. It is during the afterlife that we will unite.

Perhaps we should both place our intent on manifesting our perfect afterlife by using the intent of our minds along with our powerful spirits. In the process we might be able to create heaven on a earth – an opportunity for us to join in our physical bodies. A connection and reunion that will last forever. I love you too. I am grateful that our angelic souls embraced…For without you, I would be your kite without a string and you would be my wind without a sail.

Trillian

Raiden333 wrote: »

Oh Missed Connections page, you always give me a daily laugh.

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/scz/mis/834317224.html

Jesus look at that fucker's chin

trentsteel

You guys, this is...this is just frightening.

There's people in there that just straight up basically saying "I'm staying over night in Edmonton come fuck me."

What if the other person's not good-looking? They just want a hole or a cock? Doesn't matter who's?


Some even specify like "Yeah I have an extra couple of hours tonight."

Seattle Thread

"Saw you at the laundromat - w4w (Laundromat)
Date: 2008-09-09, 5:40PM PDT


I allowed myself to be sucked into a washing machine. It was going at the highest spin speed possible. I kept wondering if it was safe for me to be in there. The wash temperature was high, not necessarily in a good way. I guess I spun along for a while waiting to see what would happen. My fabric softener was needed, more and more of it, but it was never enough. The machine was running on automatic although it had just started spinning not too long ago. It was the comfort of my fabric softener that was needed -- until the owner realized that no comfort in the world would make this washing machine act the way she had envisioned. The program was cancelled and everything that was in the washing machine was dumped. I was told that the program was suited for light to normal soiling only, not for laundry with large amounts of dirt. Me thinks you need some instructions on how to wash correctly, young lady. Good luck with that."

Me Too!

Baldwinsville Colonial Laundy - m4w - 43 (baldwinsville)
You where there Sunday am. We made eye contact a few times. Im not good at just walking up to someone out of the blue. I had to meet my sister for brunch and when I got back you were gone. I did something in hopes of finding you. I peeked at the lot number you park in on your permit. I have one too.
I was in a red tee shirt. Maybe youll reply here and we can chat a bit.

I know where this is this is in my town
What the fuck Bville

Smasher

http://forums.penny-arcade.com/showthread.php?t=45886

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/chi/814181712.html

Coincidence?

Seattle Thread

I don't know if it's the same for other cities, but the problem with Seattle's Missed Connections is that people mostly use it to write cryptic in-messages to their lovers, perceived or actual.

Things like

"I miss you
I hope you never have to give a monkey the Heimlich"

It gets pretty boring after a while

Me Too!

Oh holy shit
I click men seeking women just for shits and giggles
Number 2 is a guy into pozzing

J3p

http://sydney.craigslist.com.au/msr/799044110.html

Kazhiim

http://slo.craigslist.org/m4m/834851431.html

this gon' be fun