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Believe it Or Not: Kid anally killed by chair

124

Posts

  • ANTVGM64ANTVGM64 Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I am always acutely aware of how much weird ass shit happens in this world, from exploding rectum chairs to Testicular Torsion, it creates a small fear of random death or terrible pain. However, on the bright side, being aware of how these random things can occur at any moment, with an extraordinary circumstance, or something as simple as sitting down, has it benefits. I find that being in fear of this random catastrophic happenstances can also make on enjoy the positive random happenstances. For example, the time I flipped a penny, and it landed on it's side.

    Whenever I see a story like this I think of the fact that life is too short or too random to not stand back for a moment and smell the roses.

    ANTVGM64 on
  • Dr.FunkensteinDr.Funkenstein Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Guys Zack and Miri is a really good movie

    Dr.Funkenstein on
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  • MeissnerdMeissnerd Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Guys Zack and Miri is a really good movie

    yyuuuuuuuuuuupppppppppppppppppppp

    Meissnerd on
  • Dr.FunkensteinDr.Funkenstein Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Meissnerd wrote: »
    Guys Zack and Miri is a really good movie

    yyuuuuuuuuuuupppppppppppppppppppp

    Wanna give me a dutch rider Meiss?

    Dr.Funkenstein on
    TERRORSQUADSIG.gif
  • tuggatugga Makin' movies Makin' songsRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    my chairs are made of wood

    will that stop me from taking it anally?

    hardly

    tugga on
  • SoaLSoaL fantastic Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    good man

    SoaL on
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  • StarfuckStarfuck Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited February 2009
    dutch rutter

    and if that chair assploded the kid
    where's all the blood

    do chinese not bleed?

    Starfuck on
    jackfaces
    "If you're going to play tiddly winks, play it with man hole covers."
    - John McCallum
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Starfuck wrote: »
    dutch rutter

    and if that chair assploded the kid
    where's all the blood

    do chinese not bleed?

    blood is generated by the soul

    the marrow lie is perpetrated by the science conspiracy

    PiptheFair on
  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Starfuck wrote: »
    dutch rutter

    and if that chair assploded the kid
    where's all the blood

    do chinese not bleed?
    Rudder.

    Penguin Incarnate on
  • NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    the chinese have acid blood, and abacus hands, their shirts crusted with the blood of hard working capitalists

    Nuzak on
  • TheySlashThemTheySlashThem Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    you guys you guys

    I have found a living, breathing stereotype

    There is an eldery asian woman who has failed a written driving test 775 times

    TheySlashThem on
  • KilljoyKilljoy __BANNED USERS regular
    edited February 2009
    about a dozen of my mother's friends have failed the written test roughly three times each

    Killjoy on
  • tuggatugga Makin' movies Makin' songsRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    you guys you guys

    I have found a living, breathing stereotype

    There is an eldery asian woman who has failed a written driving test 775 times

    our written driving tests here are 20 questions taken from a pool of 30 questions

    and they are multiple choice

    this is beyond the scope of my imagination

    its a damn good thing she isnt behind the wheel

    tugga on
  • ZombiemamboZombiemambo Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    you guys you guys

    I have found a living, breathing stereotype

    There is an eldery asian woman who has failed a written driving test 775 times

    There's some guy in India or something that has been in Elementary School for like 30 years. I'm not kidding.

    Zombiemambo on
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  • Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Hey, so, am I the only one who finds that show Little People, Big World offensive?

    I mean in principle, not to me personally

    I know they advertise it as being like empowering or something, showing that they can still get by in the world despite their condition

    but any time I see it, I feel like it's just a thinly veiled modern version of the "hey come look at the freaks" sideshow attraction

    same thing with the show on MTV with the retarded kids, How's Your News or whatever

    Grey Ghost on
  • FizFiz Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Everybody better send me pictures of their butts so I can make sure they aren't at risk for rectal rupture

    Grey Ghost first

    Fiz on
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  • GafotoGafoto Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    but any time I see it, I feel like it's just a thinly veiled modern version of the "hey come look at the freaks" sideshow attraction

    Welcome to reality television. Usually it's some crippling emotional and psychological disabilities that you get to see rather than something physical though.

    Gafoto on
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  • GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    Hey, so, am I the only one who finds that show Little People, Big World offensive?

    I mean in principle, not to me personally

    I know they advertise it as being like empowering or something, showing that they can still get by in the world despite their condition

    but any time I see it, I feel like it's just a thinly veiled modern version of the "hey come look at the freaks" sideshow attraction

    same thing with the show on MTV with the retarded kids, How's Your News or whatever

    I really hate to admit it, but the first time I caught that show, I started laughing when someone finally spoke, in that high-pitched voice.

    I felt pretty bad, honestly. That's gotta be a pretty shitty lot in life, and I definitely agree that it's most likely on TV for the sake of the cheap novelty of "Haha, look at the midgets," which is pretty awful, but nothing new for American TV.

    Goatmon on
    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204


  • A duck!A duck! Moderator, ClubPA Mod Emeritus
    edited February 2009
    The chair company is going to be sued for so much it'll go into arrears.

    A duck! on
  • GafotoGafoto Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    That was terrible Duck.

    Gafoto on
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  • A duck!A duck! Moderator, ClubPA Mod Emeritus
    edited February 2009
    Gafoto wrote: »
    That was terrible Duck.

    You only say that because you had to look that word up.

    A duck! on
  • JC of DIJC of DI I think we're fucked up. I know I am.Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    It'll go bankrumpt.

    JC of DI on
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  • MorkathMorkath Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited February 2009
    tugga wrote: »
    you guys you guys

    I have found a living, breathing stereotype

    There is an eldery asian woman who has failed a written driving test 775 times

    our written driving tests here are 20 questions taken from a pool of 30 questions

    and they are multiple choice

    this is beyond the scope of my imagination

    its a damn good thing she isnt behind the wheel

    Back when I took the written portion it was the same way, and the questions were like:

    "You are driving down the street and a person on a bicycle crosses in front of you illegally, do you;
    a) Speed up, you have right of way.
    b) Slow down, but continue forward, they will get out of the way
    c) Stop and let them pass
    d) None of the above

    If someone can't answer questions like that, they need to just permanently stamp them as not capable of getting a drivers license. =X

    Morkath on
  • LockoutLockout I am still searching Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Have found out whether this is real or not yet

    Lockout on
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  • T. J. Nutty Nub T. J. Nutty Nub Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Morkath wrote: »
    tugga wrote: »
    you guys you guys

    I have found a living, breathing stereotype

    There is an eldery asian woman who has failed a written driving test 775 times

    our written driving tests here are 20 questions taken from a pool of 30 questions

    and they are multiple choice

    this is beyond the scope of my imagination

    its a damn good thing she isnt behind the wheel

    Back when I took the written portion it was the same way, and the questions were like:

    "You are driving down the street and a person on a bicycle crosses in front of you illegally, do you;
    a) Speed up, you have right of way.
    b) Slow down, but continue forward, they will get out of the way
    c) Stop and let them pass
    d) None of the above

    If someone can't answer questions like that, they need to just permanently stamp them as not capable of getting a drivers license. =X

    d) You don't have enough information. Is the bicyclist jaywalking?

    wait a minute

    do bicyclist jaywalk or jaycycle?

    T. J. Nutty Nub on
  • JC of DIJC of DI I think we're fucked up. I know I am.Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    ...Are you seriously questioning the specific placement of a bicycle that is illegally crossing in front of you? What does that have to do with the question in any way?


    Also, I got one question wrong on my driving test, and it was pretty much just youthful ignorance:
    You are going the speed limit on a highway, and a vehicle exceeding the speed limit approaches behind you. You should:

    A) Speed up to match the pace of the car behind you.
    B) Slow down to allow the vehicle to pass.
    C) Do not adjust your speed in any fashion.
    D) Pull over to the shoulder to allow him to pass.

    Totally just guessed that you should slow down and let the speed demon by, but correct driving instructions are to remain at the same speed to avoid road rage or any accidents from the other driver not noticing your reduced speed fast enough and causing an accident.

    JC of DI on
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  • tuggatugga Makin' movies Makin' songsRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    JC of DI wrote: »
    ...Are you seriously questioning the specific placement of a bicycle that is illegally crossing in front of you? What does that have to do with the question in any way?


    Also, I got one question wrong on my driving test, and it was pretty much just youthful ignorance:
    You are going the speed limit on a highway, and a vehicle exceeding the speed limit approaches behind you. You should:

    A) Speed up to match the pace of the car behind you.
    B) Slow down to allow the vehicle to pass.
    C) Do not adjust your speed in any fashion.
    D) Pull over to the shoulder to allow him to pass.

    Totally just guessed that you should slow down and let the speed demon by, but correct driving instructions are to remain at the same speed to avoid road rage or any accidents from the other driver not noticing your reduced speed fast enough and causing an accident.

    E) Move into the right lane, because if youre doing the speed limit the left lane should only be used to pass trucks and old ladies

    tugga on
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    .flac files rock

    Graves on
  • FizFiz Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I remember taking that test and getting a question about rainy weather driving wrong. They didn't seem to hold it against me too much because it only rains here for about three days in the year, and it makes the roads so slippery that it really isn't safe to be driving under any circumstances. Tokyo Drifters left and right

    Fiz on
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  • LockoutLockout I am still searching Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Two lane highways do exist tugga

    Lockout on
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  • tuggatugga Makin' movies Makin' songsRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Lockout wrote: »
    Two lane highways do exist tugga

    well you shouldnt be on them

    have you never watched a teen slasher movie?

    tugga on
  • JC of DIJC of DI I think we're fucked up. I know I am.Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    tugga wrote: »
    JC of DI wrote: »
    ...Are you seriously questioning the specific placement of a bicycle that is illegally crossing in front of you? What does that have to do with the question in any way?


    Also, I got one question wrong on my driving test, and it was pretty much just youthful ignorance:
    You are going the speed limit on a highway, and a vehicle exceeding the speed limit approaches behind you. You should:

    A) Speed up to match the pace of the car behind you.
    B) Slow down to allow the vehicle to pass.
    C) Do not adjust your speed in any fashion.
    D) Pull over to the shoulder to allow him to pass.

    Totally just guessed that you should slow down and let the speed demon by, but correct driving instructions are to remain at the same speed to avoid road rage or any accidents from the other driver not noticing your reduced speed fast enough and causing an accident.

    E) Move into the right lane, because if youre doing the speed limit the left lane should only be used to pass trucks and old ladies

    Totally meant to put two-lane. South Dakota doesn't get many of them fancy four-lane deals so it didn't cross my mind.

    That's a lie they finally started making some in this area just a couple years ago.

    JC of DI on
    PJWczLu.png
  • Volucrisus AedriusVolucrisus Aedrius Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Is it wrong that the thread title made me imagine an upside-down chair he was sitting on? You know, to pleasure himself?

    Volucrisus Aedrius on
  • tuggatugga Makin' movies Makin' songsRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    JC of DI wrote: »
    tugga wrote: »
    JC of DI wrote: »
    ...Are you seriously questioning the specific placement of a bicycle that is illegally crossing in front of you? What does that have to do with the question in any way?


    Also, I got one question wrong on my driving test, and it was pretty much just youthful ignorance:
    You are going the speed limit on a highway, and a vehicle exceeding the speed limit approaches behind you. You should:

    A) Speed up to match the pace of the car behind you.
    B) Slow down to allow the vehicle to pass.
    C) Do not adjust your speed in any fashion.
    D) Pull over to the shoulder to allow him to pass.

    Totally just guessed that you should slow down and let the speed demon by, but correct driving instructions are to remain at the same speed to avoid road rage or any accidents from the other driver not noticing your reduced speed fast enough and causing an accident.

    E) Move into the right lane, because if youre doing the speed limit the left lane should only be used to pass trucks and old ladies

    Totally meant to put two-lane. South Dakota doesn't get many of them fancy four-lane deals so it didn't cross my mind.

    That's a lie they finally started making some in this area just a couple years ago.

    i get confused everytime i pull onto dallas's six lane highway

    and its backed up

    tugga on
  • LockoutLockout I am still searching Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    tugga wrote: »
    Lockout wrote: »
    Two lane highways do exist tugga

    well you shouldnt be on them

    have you never watched a teen slasher movie?

    man, i live where teen slasher movies could be set

    Lockout on
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  • tuggatugga Makin' movies Makin' songsRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Lockout wrote: »
    tugga wrote: »
    Lockout wrote: »
    Two lane highways do exist tugga

    well you shouldnt be on them

    have you never watched a teen slasher movie?

    man, i live where teen slasher movies could be set

    then the answer is A) Speed up cause he is going to kill you

    tugga on
  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Lockout wrote: »
    Two lane highways do exist tugga

    Yeah my sister likes to drive at 80 mph down them

    I didn't even realise we were going so fast until I looked at the speedometer

    We were driving at night, and no one was on the road

    I guess it was pretty teen horror movie-ish

    Janson on
  • JC of DIJC of DI I think we're fucked up. I know I am.Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    F) If the car begins flashing his brights at odd intervals, STOP IMMEDIATELY - THE KILLER IS IN THE BACKSEAT

    JC of DI on
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  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    JC of DI wrote: »
    F) If the car begins flashing his brights at odd intervals, STOP IMMEDIATELY - THE KILLER IS IN THE BACKSEAT

    Or the driver of the car wants you to think that, so that when you stop and get out of the car he can kill you himself.

    DarkPrimus on
  • JC of DIJC of DI I think we're fucked up. I know I am.Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Oh god I'm going to need another sheet of paper for this test.

    JC of DI on
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