Options

Fuck Muscle Cramps, this is a Teddy Roosevelt thread

1161719212262

Posts

  • Options
    ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Man, anarchy is sounding pretty good.

    ChicoBlue on
  • Options
    FutoreFutore Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    DW, i made a natzi pun.

    i'm trying to make you think about angry facist women and how they want you to bring about your 4th reich

    i don't know where i'm going with this. the bottom of this wine tastes horrible. i forgot to cork it last night

    EDIT: Chico, there is anarchy ruling my butt at the moment. Come live in my butt.

    EDIT 2: know what? you can just go ahead and scratch "live" out of that last sentence.

    Futore on
    ETqXK.png
  • Options
    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    DW

    WAIT

    WE HAVE SOMETHING
    'Kill Your Baby' Bill Introduced

    Well, this is certainly a thing.

    Also, I don't have much fondness for the Neo-Nazi folks, so any jokes at their expense are fine by me.

    Darth Waiter on
  • Options
    Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Seriously though?

    Post-partum depression as a defense?

    I get post-partum depression sometimes after I shit. Can I now go about killin' folks legally?

    Dead Legend on
    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
  • Options
    Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I think you'd only be able to kill your own shit, which I hope is already not alive.

    Lost Salient on
    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
  • Options
    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I like (read as 'am appalled by') the assumption that a baby's life is less valuable than a toddler's because they don't have a real personality yet, so it's just like a housepet at that point.

    Darth Waiter on
  • Options
    ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Seriously though?

    Post-partum depression as a defense?

    I get post-partum depression sometimes after I shit. Can I now go about killin' folks legally?

    Only if you pooped those people out.

    Edit: I gotta poop some people out right now.

    ChicoBlue on
  • Options
    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I am about to poop a goddamned city. This half a pot of coffee is murdering the people in my guts.

    Darth Waiter on
  • Options
    Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I like (read as 'am appalled by') the assumption that a baby's life is less valuable than a toddler's because they don't have a real personality yet, so it's just like a housepet at that point.

    Look, it's out of your old stomping grounds, so I'm holding you responsible for the fact that this Farrar cunt got elected.

    That explanation makes no sense!

    I mean, I'm all for abortions, but once it's out of the twat the pattern is full, Ghostrider.

    Dead Legend on
    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
  • Options
    Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Your lower intestine is Hiroshima in this scenario? Or is it like a slow, terrible death? Like London during the height of the Plague?

    Lost Salient on
    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
  • Options
    Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Your lower intestine is Hiroshima in this scenario? Or is it like a slow, terrible death? Like London during the height of the Plague?

    I find comparing it to Tokyo Firebombings or perhaps the bombing of Dresden much better than Hiroshima.

    Dead Legend on
    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
  • Options
    Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    So is Kurt Vonnegut in there writing something at this very moment?

    Lost Salient on
    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
  • Options
    CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    whats going on y'all

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • Options
    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Your lower intestine is Hiroshima in this scenario? Or is it like a slow, terrible death? Like London during the height of the Plague?

    I would say Chicago on fire, but those other cities work well.

    Also, DL, I'm of a similar mind about the issue.

    Darth Waiter on
  • Options
    Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I woke up at 5:30 AM with the urge to purge and I could not do it. So at 7:30 when the breakfast hall was open I went down and got me a bowl of cereal, some orange juice, sausage patties, and some eggs and I have since chipped some porcelain.

    I'm about to go in there for round two.

    Dead Legend on
    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
  • Options
    Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Son of a bitch
    Are Parents Who Allow Their Kids to Learn Evolution "Monsters?"

    claims in new book endorsed by Texas SBOE chair
    By Jim Forsyth
    Monday, March 23, 2009
    As the State board of Education prepares to take a final vote on the future of evolution education in the public schools, 1200 WOAI news reports board chair Don McElroy is endorsing a new book which calls parents who allow their children to learn about Darwin's Theories of Evolution 'monsters.'

    "I think we need to be honest with out kids," McElroy said. "To be honest with out kids, we need to present the truth. There is a lot of evidence out there that doesn't support evolution, the evidence doesn’t support evolution. It just doesn't support it."

    "Sewing Atheism: the National Academy of Sciences' Sinister Scheme to Teach Our Children They are Descended From Reptiles," is written by Robert Bowie Johnson. It also calls pastors who allow evolution-based teachings in their churches 'morons.'

    McElroy says he doesn't support 'everything' in Johnson's book, but he does support efforts to discredit evolution.

    "He (Johnson) shows what I would call the 'insecurity' of the National Academy of Science. They assert evolution is true, and that also fits a lot of the testimony we get from a lot of people coming to our board meetings. They assert 'evolution is true, evolution is true,' but...lets see the data."

    People who don't agree with natural selection fall into several different camps, from Creationists, who believe that natural evolution was divinely inspired, to Literalists, who believe literally in the divine creation of Adam and Eve, and say the earth is no more than 6,000 years old.


    The SBOE will vote on Friday on whether to continue language which is currently in place, requiring Texas public schools to teach 'alternatives to evolution' in any class where evolution is mentioned.

    Dead Legend on
    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
  • Options
    FutoreFutore Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    i burnt my hand on my bowl of oatmeal :(

    Futore on
    ETqXK.png
  • Options
    JigrahJigrah Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    The bill isn't saying that killing babies is okay, it is just changing the punishment dealt out for it. Obviously there is an issue where mothers are killing their children out of stress/depression whatever. Locking them away in prison for a standard murder sentence does nothing for that mother or society. I think the sentencing should be longer for two years, but I can understand giving a lesser charge if this is a legitimate issue with mothers.

    Jigrah on
  • Options
    Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Jigrah wrote: »
    The bill isn't saying that killing babies is okay, it is just changing the punishment dealt out for it. Obviously there is an issue where mothers are killing their children out of stress/depression whatever. Locking them away in prison for a standard murder sentence does nothing for that mother or society. I think the sentencing should be longer for two years, but I can understand giving a lesser charge if this is a legitimate issue with mothers.

    I think perhaps killing the crazy whores would be better for the family and society.

    Dead Legend on
    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
  • Options
    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I think perhaps killing the crazy whores would be better for the family and society.

    I'm honestly in favor of thinning the population through this method.

    Darth Waiter on
  • Options
    Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    DL, that makes me want to puke on myself.

    I don't understand, the rest of the world is like "Yeah, evolution. That stuff makes sense. Okay by me!" but NOT AMERICA. And why? I really, really don't get why it's such a horrifying concept that nature works this way according to observable phenomena.

    I might physically attack a Creationist someday. I've never even slapped someone, though, so I'll need to prepare some slick moves beforehand.

    Lost Salient on
    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
  • Options
    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I think perhaps killing the crazy whores would be better for the family and society.

    I'm honestly in favor of thinning the population through this method.

    Crazy people killing their offspring does that too you know. Just saying.

    Hunter on
  • Options
    Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    DL, that makes me want to puke on myself.

    I don't understand, the rest of the world is like "Yeah, evolution. That stuff makes sense. Okay by me!" but NOT AMERICA. And why? I really, really don't get why it's such a horrifying concept that nature works this way according to observable phenomena.

    I might physically attack a Creationist someday. I've never even slapped someone, though, so I'll need to prepare some slick moves beforehand.

    Monster

    Dead Legend on
    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
  • Options
    Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Hunter wrote: »
    I think perhaps killing the crazy whores would be better for the family and society.

    I'm honestly in favor of thinning the population through this method.

    Crazy people killing their offspring does that too you know. Just saying.

    Maybe if the crazy people didn't raise their crazy-prone offspring they wouldn't be crazy. Just saying.

    Dead Legend on
    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
  • Options
    MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Son of a bitch
    Are Parents Who Allow Their Kids to Learn Evolution "Monsters?"

    claims in new book endorsed by Texas SBOE chair
    By Jim Forsyth
    Monday, March 23, 2009
    As the State board of Education prepares to take a final vote on the future of evolution education in the public schools, 1200 WOAI news reports board chair Don McElroy is endorsing a new book which calls parents who allow their children to learn about Darwin's Theories of Evolution 'monsters.'

    "I think we need to be honest with out kids," McElroy said. "To be honest with out kids, we need to present the truth. There is a lot of evidence out there that doesn't support evolution, the evidence doesn’t support evolution. It just doesn't support it."

    "Sewing Atheism: the National Academy of Sciences' Sinister Scheme to Teach Our Children They are Descended From Reptiles," is written by Robert Bowie Johnson. It also calls pastors who allow evolution-based teachings in their churches 'morons.'

    McElroy says he doesn't support 'everything' in Johnson's book, but he does support efforts to discredit evolution.

    "He (Johnson) shows what I would call the 'insecurity' of the National Academy of Science. They assert evolution is true, and that also fits a lot of the testimony we get from a lot of people coming to our board meetings. They assert 'evolution is true, evolution is true,' but...lets see the data."

    People who don't agree with natural selection fall into several different camps, from Creationists, who believe that natural evolution was divinely inspired, to Literalists, who believe literally in the divine creation of Adam and Eve, and say the earth is no more than 6,000 years old.


    The SBOE will vote on Friday on whether to continue language which is currently in place, requiring Texas public schools to teach 'alternatives to evolution' in any class where evolution is mentioned.
    so glad i'm not raising a kid in texas and I'll be out of here soon. in ten years this state is going to need a goddamn razing the way shit is going

    Mysst on
    ikbUJdU.jpg
  • Options
    Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    DL, that makes me want to puke on myself.

    I don't understand, the rest of the world is like "Yeah, evolution. That stuff makes sense. Okay by me!" but NOT AMERICA. And why? I really, really don't get why it's such a horrifying concept that nature works this way according to observable phenomena.

    I might physically attack a Creationist someday. I've never even slapped someone, though, so I'll need to prepare some slick moves beforehand.

    Monster

    Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I'ma break a Creationist's nose first!

    Lost Salient on
    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
  • Options
    MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    DL, that makes me want to puke on myself.

    I don't understand, the rest of the world is like "Yeah, evolution. That stuff makes sense. Okay by me!" but NOT AMERICA. And why? I really, really don't get why it's such a horrifying concept that nature works this way according to observable phenomena.

    I might physically attack a Creationist someday. I've never even slapped someone, though, so I'll need to prepare some slick moves beforehand.
    I tattooed SCIENCE on my arm in preparation. I can only hope for the perfect photo op.

    Mysst on
    ikbUJdU.jpg
  • Options
    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I might physically attack a Creationist someday. I've never even slapped someone, though, so I'll need to prepare some slick moves beforehand.

    Wave a dead lizard at them and say, "Booga booga! This was your great grand-daddy! Booga booga!"

    They will be confused by your tactics, guaranteed.

    Darth Waiter on
  • Options
    Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Mysst wrote:
    so glad i'm not raising a kid in texas and I'll be out of here soon. in ten years this state is going to need a goddamn razing the way shit is going

    Well, remember that ole fire at the Governor's Mansion this summer?

    Shhh...

    Dead Legend on
    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
  • Options
    JigrahJigrah Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I think perhaps killing the crazy whores would be better for the family and society.

    I'm honestly in favor of thinning the population through this method.

    Did the Marines contribute to this?

    Or did favoring this method contribute to joining the Marines?

    Jigrah on
  • Options
    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Jigrah wrote: »
    Did the Marines contribute to this?

    Or did favoring this method contribute to joining the Marines?

    I just don't like people who fuck up kid's lives or perpetrate violence upon them.

    Darth Waiter on
  • Options
    Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Okay, I'll distract them with the lizard and Mysst, you can go in with the punches

    You should also get "Darwin" and "Huxley" tattoo'ed on your knuckles, just in case you need backup.

    Lost Salient on
    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
  • Options
    Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Okay, I'll distract them with the lizard and Mysst, you can go in with the punches

    You should also get "Darwin" and "Huxley" tattoo'ed on your knuckles, just in case you need backup.

    What about my dog Linnaeus?

    Dead Legend on
    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
  • Options
    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Hunter wrote: »
    I think perhaps killing the crazy whores would be better for the family and society.

    I'm honestly in favor of thinning the population through this method.

    Crazy people killing their offspring does that too you know. Just saying.

    Maybe if the crazy people didn't raise their crazy-prone offspring they wouldn't be crazy. Just saying.

    That's not the point. He was making a thinning the herd point, which I agree nature needs to start expunging some of the weaker links. Infanticide is a way nature does that in the animal kingdom. A mother will kill her cubs if they aren't right, and a bad mother will accidentally kill her offspring due to her own stupidity. These free up resources for the rest.

    Humans have a fascination beyond nature to protect children, even children that are not biologically their own. In some ways it's good, like when protective services removes a child from a crack whore, and in some ways it's bad, like when some yuppie bitch tells me I can't spank my kid for misbehaving because I'll withdraw from his self-confidence bank.

    Hunter on
  • Options
    FutoreFutore Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Futore wrote: »
    i burnt my hand on my bowl of oatmeal :(

    OATMEAL UPDATE: It's delicious.

    Futore on
    ETqXK.png
  • Options
    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I might physically attack a Creationist someday. I've never even slapped someone, though, so I'll need to prepare some slick moves beforehand.

    Wave a dead lizard at them and say, "Booga booga! This was your great grand-daddy! Booga booga!"

    They will be confused by your tactics, guaranteed.

    I'd be more than willing to at least accept creationists and listen to their point of view if they could understand the basic difference between a monkey and an ape. Alas, none of the creationists I've met could stop themselves from saying "I ain't related to no monkey". I had to hit them with a rolled up newspaper.

    Hunter on
  • Options
    Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Hunter wrote: »
    Hunter wrote: »
    I think perhaps killing the crazy whores would be better for the family and society.

    I'm honestly in favor of thinning the population through this method.

    Crazy people killing their offspring does that too you know. Just saying.

    Maybe if the crazy people didn't raise their crazy-prone offspring they wouldn't be crazy. Just saying.

    That's not the point. He was making a thinning the herd point, which I agree nature needs to start expunging some of the weaker links. Infanticide is a way nature does that in the animal kingdom. A mother will kill her cubs if they aren't right, and a bad mother will accidentally kill her offspring due to her own stupidity. These free up resources for the rest.

    Humans have a fascination beyond nature to protect children, even children that are not biologically their own. In some ways it's good, like when protective services removes a child from a crack whore, and in some ways it's bad, like when some yuppie bitch tells me I can't spank my kid for misbehaving because I'll withdraw from his self-confidence bank.

    There's your problem right there. You're spanking your kid in public, when in reality, you should be thumping the back of his head in public, it's much more discreet. Also, you can grab his sideburns and his ear in one grab and it makes an effective leash. Also discreet.

    Dead Legend on
    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
  • Options
    JigrahJigrah Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Naw, Yuppie bitches are the problem.

    Definitely Yuppie bitches. You know what happens when someone takes from your confidence bank? You make it more secure and develop real self confidence.

    Jigrah on
  • Options
    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Hunter wrote: »
    In some ways it's good, like when protective services removes a child from a crack whore, and in some ways it's bad, like when some yuppie bitch tells me I can't spank my kid for misbehaving because I'll withdraw from his self-confidence bank.

    Depending upon the situation, I'm in favor of some good old fashioned corporal punishment. Sometimes, all the rationalizing in the world fails to compare to the discipline of a swat across the ass.

    Darth Waiter on
  • Options
    ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Or stab him with your little punishment knife.

    It's like a box cutter.

    Only the amount of blade you push up depends on the severity of the crime the child has committed.

    ChicoBlue on
This discussion has been closed.