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BROQUEST

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Posts

  • Mister LongbaughMister Longbaugh Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    speaking of
    I just wrote Blunt Quest I: The Trial of the Weed Lord
    harold and kumar is the best movie ever. this is indisputable FACT
    thorpe wrote: »
    Harold and Kumar is the best film about what it is like to go on a Weed Quest ever.
    i am going to write an interactive fiction. it will be called Blunt Quest. Starring Barack Obama. It will be genius
    we play hoops?
    You are in a room. There is a fat blunt on the ornately clothed coffee table, the clock flashes 4:20, obvious exits are north and east

    what is your command

    >
    Shankusu wrote: »
    hit the blunt
    You don't have a blunt! It sits, lit, yet untoked on the table.

    what is your command

    >
    Fabricate wrote: »
    TOKE THAT BLUNT
    You wrestle your way into the middle of the coffee table, slightly bending its legs. You sucessfully toke the shit out of that blunt.

    Hours pass, yet the clock still flashes 4:20

    obvious exits are north and east

    >
    Shankusu wrote: »
    exit east
    You exit east. A shadow looms over the courtyard in front of you, the figure of what appears to be 5-0 graces the cobbled stone.

    >
    Shankusu wrote: »
    use GAME
    You don't have a game! The sound of footsteps and jingling keys approaches from the west.

    >
    protostorm wrote: »
    Cast lvl 4 Bongrip!
    You cannot cast Bongrips! The sound draws closer, you feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand up

    >
    Sars_Boy wrote: »
    book it
    You book it east! The sound fades away, and the stone beneath your feet gives way to grass, then asphalt. You see a gleaming purple light to the west, and an orange one to the north.

    >
    Sars_Boy wrote: »
    shit dogg go for dat purple
    You meander west. The purple light becomes more intense, yet seems farther away. You feel your high fading, the nugs are slowly leaving you, a source of weed is definitely needed or you are surely to fall victim to the ravages of being sober.

    >
    Sars_Boy wrote: »
    abandon the purple for now

    set a course for weed
    A course for weed is set. You run to the west, across a crowded intersection, and you are immediately hit by a 16-Wheeler truck. You apparently survive the hit, as you awake baked several hours later in what appears to be a gas station in the mid-west

    >
    Sars_Boy wrote: »
    go into the gas station and purchase some drank
    You have no money, but barter with the clerk with the last bits of resin you have in your overcoat for a can of purple flavoured Drank

    Your inventory now contains
    • Can - Drank (purple flavoured: 1)

    >
    DRINK THAT DRANK
    You drink the drank, and slovenly toss the can aside, but it ricochets off the garbage bin and into the face of a rather angry looking biker. He begins to approach you

    >
    Anjin-San wrote: »
    BECOME A BOSS

    BOSS.png
    You begin to push as hard as you can to grow a beard, the Biker begins to shirk away, as your face is bursting with a new, full beard, obviously intimidating him. You've become BOSS.

    >
    protostorm wrote: »
    Make it rain
    You make it rain. Your wads of newfound cash begin to pelt the Biker. You are successful in defeating him, and you now have 800 dollars. As you wandered outside of the Gas Station to pick up yo' paper, you notice a familiar purple glow from down the road to the east.

    >
    find that PURPLE
    You walk towards the purple. It grows apparent that the light is coming from a sign, but you can't quite discern the text on it with your Boss-sunglasses on. A small, pueblo like building sits next to the sign.

    >
    Bibble wrote: »
    enter the mysterious pueblo
    You walk up to the Pueblo, a soft, florescent light emanates from its glass doors. You push them in, and you are suddenly blinded, not even the supreme hustling of your boss sunglasses can protect you from this light

    >
    use HEATER
    You cannot use HEATER! Your vision begins to slowly return

    >

    protostorm wrote: »
    use eyedrops
    You don't have eyedrops! The interior of the building begins to come into focus. A small sign sits near your feet, indicating that the floor is slippery when wet.

    >
    IpseDixit wrote: »
    Whip off yo shades
    You whip off yo shades. The room is fully in view now. It is a Taco Bell, but something is different, the customers standing in line seem like close, but long gone friends.

    >
    protostorm wrote: »
    Examine patrons of taco bell
    The patrons appear to be the entirety of the living Wu-Tang Clan, and the spectral figures of ODB, Tupac, and Biggie. Your examining has caught their attention, and they all stare at you, as if awaiting some sort of command.

    >
    Start a chess match with the Rza
    The Rza jumps back at your motions to begin a chess game. The Taco Bell falls away around you, and the rappers of days gone by appear in the all encompassing nothingness. The booming voices of the group proclaim, "You have successfully flexed yo' mentals through the trial of Blunt Quest. You are truly, the Weed Lord"

    GAME OVER

    SCORE 2353

    >SAVE Y/N

    CREDITS:

    THE FAR SIDE

    WEED

    COPYRIGHT 2008

    FATBLUNTS LLC
    EPILOGUE

    tacossss.png

    EDIT: There you go, I hate to look like a dick.[/quote]

    any time is a good time for bluntquest.

    Mister Longbaugh on
  • Dr.FunkensteinDr.Funkenstein Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    When Teefs gets a computer the first thing she better do is make another fucking bluntquest

    Dr.Funkenstein on
    TERRORSQUADSIG.gif
  • MrMonroeMrMonroe passed out on the floor nowRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    teefs just got her totally boss computer up and running

    she puts that shit on folding@home it's gonna cure cancer in like yesterday

    MrMonroe on
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    > Goto TARGET demand EMPLOYMENT. Threaten VIOLENCE if not given JOB.

    Melding on
  • George Fornby GrillGeorge Fornby Grill ...Like Clockwork Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Melding wrote: »
    > Goto TARGET demand EMPLOYMENT. Threaten VIOLENCE if not given JOB.

    You walk in to TARGET like you OWN THE PLACE. You ask the MANAGER for a JOB, then threaten the life of his WIFE AND CHILD.

    The MANAGER says the store needs to meet its RETARD QUOTA.
    You can't tell if he's joking or not

    like 7 Moves until your WICKED HIGH fades.

    >|

    George Fornby Grill on
  • Dr.FunkensteinDr.Funkenstein Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    MrMonroe wrote: »
    teefs just got her totally boss computer up and running

    she puts that shit on folding@home it's gonna cure cancer in like yesterday

    Well then I want my fucking bluntquest right now

    Dr.Funkenstein on
    TERRORSQUADSIG.gif
  • iusehappymodiusehappymod Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    > Show the manager your pecks. Tell him you can lift shit. Lift up something heavy nearby to prove your point.

    iusehappymod on

    Hamlet will be Hamlet
    An ineffable tragedy of the human spirit that still resonates, even today.
  • Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    >ASK if his wife s a hella good lay, then ask if his child is 'legal'.

    Donovan Puppyfucker on
  • George Fornby GrillGeorge Fornby Grill ...Like Clockwork Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    > Show the manager your pecks. Tell him you can lift shit. Lift up something heavy nearby to prove your point.

    You lift some heavy shit to show the manager what's up.
    You are no longer whatever that last thing you were was
    You are now a LEVEL FIVE BOX BOY with a starting wage of $8 an hour!

    6 moves left until WICKED HIGH is gone.

    >|

    George Fornby Grill on
  • Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    >WORK until the day is done. Sleep overnight in the store. Steal a toothbrush and some toothpaste to get the tastes of cock, jenkem and fat btch out of yo' mouf.
    >WATCH boxset of Fresh Prince of Bel Air on instore televisions.

    Donovan Puppyfucker on
  • AMP'dAMP'd Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    >Cut a hole in the BOX
    >Put JUNK in BOX

    AMP'd on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • T. J. Nutty Nub T. J. Nutty Nub Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    >lift some shit to earn cash
    >use cash to buy more shit to lift

    T. J. Nutty Nub on
  • P10P10 An Idiot With Low IQ Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    > Give some cash to TREVOR to pay him back for his WICKED SHROOMS

    P10 on
    Shameful pursuits and utterly stupid opinions
  • George Fornby GrillGeorge Fornby Grill ...Like Clockwork Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    >WORK until the day is done. Sleep overnight in the store. Steal a toothbrush and some toothpaste to get the tastes of cock, jenkem and fat btch out of yo' mouf.
    >WATCH boxset of Fresh Prince of Bel Air on instore televisions.

    You WORK till you SWEAT and get yo CASH MONIES.
    You assemble a FUTON, then go jack some TOOTHPASTE and a TOOTHBRUSH to get the taste of FAT HOE and JENKEM out of your mouth.
    You watch FRESH PRINCE until you can no longer keep your eyes open, you fall into a deep slumber

    >|

    George Fornby Grill on
  • Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    >AWAKEN to teh sounds of the dumpsters being emptied at 4:00 in the morning.
    >LOOK around to dicover they have a console hooked up in the electronics department! It's MADDEN09 time brocrates!

    Donovan Puppyfucker on
  • George Fornby GrillGeorge Fornby Grill ...Like Clockwork Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    You wake up from your slumber
    What's this? It appears you have slept off your WICKED HIGH
    You feel yourself slowly fading out of the BRO-VERSE.

    George Fornby Grill on
  • HadjiQuestHadjiQuest Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Ohh shit.

    >check surroundings

    HadjiQuest on
  • Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    >WONDER if the events you just experienced were all just a JENKEM ILLUSION

    Grey Ghost on
  • AMP'dAMP'd Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    >Awaken in a more employed manner

    AMP'd on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    >REALISE you have woken up in a holding cell.
    >SHIT yo' pants.
    >ASK for your phone call, and a fresh pair of oranges.

    Donovan Puppyfucker on
  • HadjiQuestHadjiQuest Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    I can't believe this is still going.

    It's almost kept on for 6 hours.

    HadjiQuest on
  • George Fornby GrillGeorge Fornby Grill ...Like Clockwork Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Was it all a dream?
    Did TREVOR slip you LSD again?
    As the scene fades out it pulls back and you see a child
    He appears to be shaking some sort of snowglobe, it looks to have a large building in it, probably a school of some sort.
    The child drools a little.

    FADE TO BLACK.

    George Fornby Grill on
  • Calamity JaneCalamity Jane That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    loves this thread

    Calamity Jane on
    twitter https://twitter.com/mperezwritesirl michelle patreon https://www.patreon.com/thatwronglove michelle's comic book from IMAGE COMICS you can order http://a.co/dn5YeUD
  • George Fornby GrillGeorge Fornby Grill ...Like Clockwork Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    CREDITS:
    ME
    PROCRASTINATION
    THAT ONE THREAD THAT KHOO STARTED THAT ENDED UP HAVING BRO JOKES IN IT

    George Fornby Grill on
  • Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Wait is that it

    you just pull a St. Elsewhere on us and you're done

    fuck you

    Grey Ghost on
  • Dr.FunkensteinDr.Funkenstein Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Ok why is Kumar gonna start working for Obama

    Dr.Funkenstein on
    TERRORSQUADSIG.gif
  • HadjiQuestHadjiQuest Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    I'm giving you my hardest golf clap.

    You can almost hear it.

    HadjiQuest on
  • George Fornby GrillGeorge Fornby Grill ...Like Clockwork Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    Wait is that it

    you just pull a St. Elsewhere on us and you're done

    fuck you

    I'm kinda tired and I wouldn't be able to keep it going tomorrow, so yeah.

    George Fornby Grill on
  • HadjiQuestHadjiQuest Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    Wait is that it

    you just pull a St. Elsewhere on us and you're done

    fuck you

    Just because the destination blows, does that make the ride itself shitty?

    HadjiQuest on
  • Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    So does this mean that all threads are just figments of this autistic kid's imagination?

    Grey Ghost on
  • George Fornby GrillGeorge Fornby Grill ...Like Clockwork Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    So does this mean that all threads are just figments of this autistic kid's imagination?

    Yes.
    That Autistic kid?
    it's you.
    What I'm saying here is that all of you are autistic
    Or that the Autistic kid is really just a part of all of us

    George Fornby Grill on
  • iusehappymodiusehappymod Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    I have been known to do some painting.

    iusehappymod on

    Hamlet will be Hamlet
    An ineffable tragedy of the human spirit that still resonates, even today.
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