An Otter Refused.

ANTVGM64

The following story (and thread) is particularly NFSW







I was walking home tonight around 4:00 in the am, when an older gentleman stopped me to ask me for fifty cents. I obliged, and gave him fifty cents. He stopped me on my way, and asked if I wanted to "get mai dick sucked" for, quite literally, a dollar..


I gave him another fifty cents, and continued along my way in a hurried pace.





So, Penny Arcade, what strange, weird, or downright disturbing offers have you received, and has it disturbed you as deeply as I have been?

Dr.Funkenstein

Wait you said no?!

Stormin Joe

how could you turn that down?

Wimble

Well someone gave me 50 cents to not suck their dick

Tweaked_Bat_

You should've accepted.

Only a dollar.

And you even said he was a gentleman.

DarkPrimus

You'll never get far in life, passing up bargains like that.

UnbreakableVow

I don't understand why you gave him fifty more cents.

At that point you're paying for a service and then just walking away from it. Why not just walk away and be 50 cents richer?

Orikaeshigitae

borfase?!?!

tugga

dude homeless men give the best blowjobs

ANTVGM64

I suppose I should clarify that I said no, I was good, then continued along my way.

Artreus

Phonehand

that's what we call a "gummy bear"

Artreus

Also this happened to Rolo just after we parted ways when I visited Toronto

tugga

blowbo's face is the place where all the worlds happiness is created

Monoxide

this happened in chicago?

man, you must've found one of the nice bums

edit: also what part of town was this

Calamity Jane

what if he had a dollar already

and you denied him a burned cheeseburger dog

Phonehand

if you haven't been approached by a male prostitute then you aren't hanging out in the wrong parts of town

ANTVGM64

It was Argyle off the redline.

It's quite a curious place.

tugga

do you think he wouldve swallowed?

ANTVGM64

considering I believe he was homeless, I'm sure he'd take whatever protein he could get.

tugga

you fool

Monoxide

ANTVGM64 wrote: »

It was Argyle off the redline.

It's quite a curious place.

oh, uh, yeah, you don't really want to go around there very often at 4am

uptown is where all of the homeless shelters and homeless mental health clinics are

they aren't just bums, they're fucking crazy bums

UnbreakableVow

Am I the only one here who just completely ignores bums?

ANTVGM64

Man, fuck the fair housing act, then.

Monoxide

UnbreakableVow wrote: »

Am I the only one here who just completely ignores bums?

they aren't always passive

EskimoDave

you paid for unrendered services?

UnbreakableVow

Monoxide wrote: »

UnbreakableVow wrote: »

Am I the only one here who just completely ignores bums?

they aren't always passive

Yeah, I guess in bigger cities, I guess they could be a problem. Where I live, they're either near stoplights or outside Wal-Marts in the wee hours. Those are the only ones that try to force interaction by asking for change for a cab or some other crazy reason they made up, but they tend to get the hint when they receive no physical response.

tugga

i try to be polite to bums

i very rarely give out change, usually if i have a pocket full and its bothering me when im walking

Belruel

my (mom's) homeless dude story

Belruel wrote: »

My mom went to vegas this weekend to visit with her sisters, and as she was on her way back she stopped at an albertson's to get some ice for her icechest. It was about noon, broad daylight, right out front of the grocery store, and this homeless guy hopped up on drugs and drunk as can be charges her flailing his arms yelling 'I WANT MONEY' and punches her right on the jaw.

Three gay fellows saw this, and the muscular one punched the homeless guy off my mom to the ground, then held him to the hot cement with his foot pressed against the back of his neck. One of the other guys started soothing my mom giving her hugs and telling her she'd be ok, while the third ran to get security in albertson's.

my poor mom's jaw is all swollen and she's all shaken up. i am really curious now as to how common this sort of thing is, and also pretty thankful those fellows were there to help her.

so have any of you homps been mugged before? have you saved any middle aged women from being mugged? maybe you have mugged old women for a quick lump of cash? maybe you're a heroic gay dude; who knows!

tl;dr: my mom got mugged by a homeless dude and saved by three gays

Volucrisus Aedrius

I once had a crazy bum approach me while I was smoking a cigarette at work.

He asks if I can spot him a few cents so he can make a phonecall to reclaim his luggage.

I guess I looked at him with a quizzical expression because he decided to continue his tale. "From the airport, they lost my luggage. I'm not from here, you see. I'm from London." At this point he's standing there next to me, eating a McDonalds hamburger, speaking in a gruff voice with an accent that is unmistakably American, of the Northwest variety.

"I don't know anyone around here, I, I got this sandwich here, you call it a hamburger, but I just need a few more cents to call for my luggage."

This guy is so unbelievable I actually decided to fuck with him at this point, so I opened my jacket to display my work uniform and name plaque and said something to the effect of "I work for (company name) and actually I can't have you soliciting for anything on our property." At this point he kinda broke character, eyed me up a little and grunted "well what am I supposed to do about my luggage?"

I responded "I suggest you take a lift to your flat make a buttie watch the tele and wait for the Airport to give you a call." I pull out a cigarette and offer him one. "Want in on this fag?"

He squinted and muttered "I don't speak French (unintelligible)," and stalked off toward the forest.

Never saw him again.

ANTVGM64

I too am curious how common this kind of thing is.

Belruel

also i first read the thread title as 'an otter refused' and wondered if dru was turning tricks and why you broke his heart

Monoxide

it's common enough, I know a handful of guys who've been mugged by bums

two of them were actually in Uptown while they were walking to wait outside of the Riviera box office to get tickets to a show

homeless guy walks right up to them and demands money, they say no

he has his hand in his jacket pocket and says something like "I've got a knife, if you don't give me your wallets I'll cut the both of you"

they tell him to calm down and hand him their wallets

meanwhile a cop pulls up behind them

bum runs, cop catches the bum, returns the wallets, filled out a police report for assault charges, then got back in line for the tickets.

but, yeah, uptown sucks.

edit: oh, by the way, he didn't really have a knife.

Pony

a while back, this guy drove up to Graves while he was walking around at night and offered him a couple hundred bucks so he could suck Graves' dick

that's right

he paid Graves so that Graves could get his dick sucked

and Graves took him up on it

and used the money to buy Guitar Hero 2

Metzger Meister

My uncle almost got mugged by a bum once. Bum shot my uncle, my uncle took the gun from him and pistol whipped the bum almost to death.

Kept the gun, in fact. Still has it.

That was the second time my uncle got shot.

edit: graves got dat mulatto luck

EskimoDave

Back in BC I was cleaning up one of our demolition site downtown with my crew. And this big lady wearing gum boots (i so typed drops) on a incredibly hot spring day comes by. Stops. Looks at us for a few seconds. Then she walks 10 metres down the sidewalk and loiters for a minute. I only take notice cause this lady looked weird. So we're loading the bin with garbage and she comes back and starts talking to one of the guys. I'm inside the building, he is outside. Next thing I know I hear a loud 'go talk to Dave, the one in the orange hard hat' come from the outside. So she stands in the doorway and the guy just starts laughing. 'Great' I think to myself. So I'm out the door to throw some shit in the bin.
'You need anyone?' she asks.
'No' I respond.
'I'm really strong!' she replies.
'I bet you are' I retort.
'How about I help you for a pack of cigarettes?' she asks.
'No' say I.
So she starts to walk away, takes 5 steps, turns around with an counter offer 'how about for 20 bucks?'

how is $20 a better deal than a pack of cigarettes for 5 minutes of work?

UnbreakableVow

Pony wrote: »

a while back, this guy drove up to Graves while he was walking around at night and offered him a couple hundred bucks so he could suck Graves' dick

that's right

he paid Graves so that Graves could get his dick sucked

and Graves took him up on it

and used the money to buy Guitar Hero 2

Hell yeah Guitar Hero II!

Volucrisus Aedrius

Guitar Hero II is awesome because it has Mother.

Guitar Hero II is terrible because the cover of Mother is so bad.

Metzger Meister

Metzger Meister wrote: »

My uncle almost got mugged by a bum once. Bum shot my uncle, my uncle took the gun from him and pistol whipped the bum almost to death.

Kept the gun, in fact. Still has it.

That was the second time my uncle got shot.

edit: graves got dat mulatto luck

This same uncle bit a man's ear off in a fight.

Sir Platypus

This homeless man will track you down.

You will get your dick sucked in your sleep.

lostwords

i saw a bum yelling at a baby on the dc metro one time. somethign about stealing his thoughts and stupid white baby keeping him down. everyone on the car was too surprised and dumbstruck to do anything for a bit, until an anouncement came on the intercom that the police should show up to car #4, whereupon he books it outta there. to be fair, the baby was kinda bein a dick