Figured the first thread was so full of win, we should continue with a second. I'll go first.
Sadly, the ex gf who tried to stab me over eating the last can of beef ravioli wasn't the first attempt on my life by a girl friend. I also had a girl friend in high school try to run me over because she thought I was cheating.
She confronted me in her car because she heard a girl talk about how she wanted to get with me, which naturally meant I was cheating. I let her know I wasn't and informed her she was acting a little crazy. Her response was to slap the sun glasses off my face (causing a 4 inch long cut from my nose to my cheek) and telling me to get out of her car. Naturally I did.
I start to walk off and hear the car engine revving, turn around, and see a nice muscle car aimed at me doing a good 30mph. Luckily there were concrete pillars (quite popular on Air Force Bases) a few feet from me, and I was able to jump over one before she got to me. Naturally, the relationship ended there.
Funny side story, I never cheated on her. Turns out she cheated on me twice.
Now it's your turn D&D. Regale us with your most twisted stories of past, and current, lovers gone awry.