I always wanted to do a Let’s Play of this game. With the awesome campaigns by Acquisitions Incorporated, the Might & Magic world and Dungeons & Dragons party could meld quite nicely. I had to take some creative liberties in altering them for roleplay and gameplay purposes, but the two games are relatively similar. Stuff like classes, party size, and objectives were easy to adapt for the characters. If you haven’t seen/heard/known about the three (four? five?) Penny Arcade podcast campaigns in D&D, then just do it now!
There have been LPs of Might and Magic 7 before, but this one is much more focused for the forums and their generous host. However, I will not continue if any of the creators is offended by my using the characters of AQI in this context. This is a fan-made depiction and not affiliated with the originals. I come in peace and I mean you no harm. The reason I enjoy this game is because of the traditional RPG setting and the way the characters grow, with the latter being more open to customization.
The LP is a mix of screenshots, cutscenes, gameplay videos, music (from several related games), and dialogue within the party. This is my second LP. I may or may not be funny; just trying to establish backdrop for the characters. If you have a question about the game mechanics or story, I’ll see if I can make a detailed post trying to answer it. I am also not a writer by any means so bear with my storytelling. Finally, let me know what I can improve.
At a nameless tavern in the town of, oh say, Vale…crest… haven… the associates of Acquisitions Incorporated discuss an intriguing prospect.
Binwin: … and the reward is a castle? For a scavenger hunt?!
Omin: That’s what it says on the invite.
Jim: Nothing has matched up to a castle yet.
Aeofel: Well, it could tie us down. We’d have to be landlords of a town and be diplomats. Do we want to give up adventuring?
Binwin: It doesn’t mean we have to give up our company objective, right Omin? A castle feels like our end goal. Let’s do it.
Aeofel: Fair enough. Melora will guide us.
Omin: Okay then. Jim, could you send a response? Destination is Emerald Island off the continent of Erathia.
Jim: Jim clearly remembers that you don’t want him to use the doves anymore.
Obviously, I had to compromise for the exact details of the party. M&M7 has no half-elf or avenger class like D&D, so I picked the closest thing. Choosing the class for Aeofel was the hardest. He shares roleplaying characteristics from the monk, ranger, and paladin, but I figured he was closer to the ranger in this game.
A good friend of mine was really excited to tell me that this game, a game I never heard of, was on GoG. He downloaded it and played it nonstop for like a month.
Omin: I’m more concerned about what they consider to be violations of civilized behavior here.
Binwin: Does she mean we can’t hunt people for sport? This is a lame scavenger hunt.
Aeofel: No problem, Ms. Docent.
Omin: Sure. I guess if we explore the island right now we’ll find these items before anyone else. Especially if we use all of the skills at our disposal…
Jim: Jim can cast the spells that makes the peoples fall down.
The party makes their way to the headquarters of Lord Markham, the sponsor of the event.
Aeofel: Something doesn’t sit right with me about this lord and his prize.
Omin: Oh whoa, they’re offering a reward on these guys? Let’s make sure to look for them.
Jim: And avoid the dragon.
Omin: We don’t know if there’s really a dragon.
After leaving the HQ, the party encounters a strange, almost sininster-looking salesman.
Omin: The hell?
Omin: Sure, sure. My associates and I would be interested in your proposition if that is the case.
Jim: A favor in the future? Jim doesn’t like the sound of that. Jim does like the sound of a fireball wand though.
Omin: Yeah but he hasn’t presented what this favor could be.
Aeofel: Could be anything, right?
Binwin: I’m not convinced that anyone here can beat us in this hunt anyway. We don’t need the wand. It’d be nice, but Jim’s got the fiery magic thing going well.
After encountering Mr. Malwik, the party begins to question the townsfolk about the missing contestants.
Jim: Oh good.
Jim: Well shit.
While exploring the island and gathering items for the scavenger hunt, the party encounters hostile creatures…
Omin: No. We need to talk to this guy again. We’re going into town to find the tavern.
Binwin: Well I’m up for a fight at least.
Aeofel: I hate goblins.
Jim: Nah, we’re good, thanks. If shit gets bad then we’ll call.
Binwin: Alright, let’s do this!
Omin: Binwin, they really don’t like you
Aeofel: They’re going after you exclusively!
Binwin: Son of a b-
The party eventually rids the castle of goblins, and discovers a note in a trapped chest.
Jim: Check this out.
Aeofel leaves the party.
Binwin: Wait!
Omin: I know exactly what he’s going to do. We have to go after him!
Five minutes later.
Aeofel: You fucker.
Aeofel: I don’t care. You’re a goblin!
Jim: Al!
Jim: …Nice.
Omin: We’re done here.
Omin: So these dwarves, great fixer upper people, right?
Binwin: Dwarves are, but I don’t know about the ones in Stone City.
Omin: We might as well try. It’s likely we’ll have to do something to prove ourselves too.
Aeofel: I wonder why our place is so bad anyway.
Aeofel: Oh, I see. So we were basically tricked into this place from the scavenger hunt. I vow revenge on Lord Markham for tricking us into this situation.
Jim: Did I not ask you guys what would happen if we sucked as lords? Like, before all this?
Omin: Yes you did. But we’ve got our shit together. We just need to find the dwarves.
Binwin: And go through some trial to make them listen to us.
Omin: Listen, it’s going to be okay. The Barrow Downs is just a few days south.
Aeofel: Harmondale is at the northwest part of this area. What’s outside of town?
The team destroys the few remaining goblins, secures the area, and heads back to town. It seems that the townspeople are more optimistic about the party, and one person at the tavern is willing to share his story.
Jim: Jim thinks we should check it out.
Binwin: Yeah, what better way to earn the people’s confidence?
While exploring the surrounding area for the caves, the group comes upon a solitary house.
Binwin: I can imagine why this guy doesn’t like to be bothered.
Omin: Lucky peasants…? Maybe we really did get conned into this job.
Aeofel: We’ll find a way, Omin. We even have a lead with the dwarves.
Omin: Perhaps. Let’s just focus on the task at hand for now.
After dealing with the enemies at the cave entrance, they start to hear the weirdest noises traversing the cave.
Binwin: The hell is that sound? It’s horrifying.
Jim: It sounds like angry, wet fish fighting to the death.
Omin: Looks like they have other problems. Don’t get involved.
Aeofel: I have no idea what this is.
Jim: Uh, guys…
Binwin: Poor bastard. Went crazy in the head and wrote down his ramblings.
Omin: I think that’s actually rules for the game he plays.
Jim: ArcoMage?
Omin: Later. We need to get out of here.
As Omin and his friends prepare to set up camp outside the cave, a feeling of unease comes over him. Thinking back to Judge Grey’s words, he says a prayer to the goddess Avandra for guidance. He does not know what the future will bring.
Really enjoying it so far. I think you've hit the Jim Darkmagic nail on the proverbial head, and have busted out laughing several times at his lines. Good start!
Back in Harmondale… the party is making preparations to attack the medusas and rescue the dwarves in order to repair their newly-acquired castle (which, according to Jim, currently “sucks”). They are approached by a member of the local clergy.
Omin: What do you think, guys?
Jim: Jim thinks we have enough to worry about without more treasure hunting.
Binwin: Well, we could always use some more support… and money.
Jim: I guess that’s true.
Binwin: It’s not like we’re in a rush. They’re turned to stone.
Aeofel: Do you want to go, Omin?
Omin: Yeah. I do. At the very least, it will help our cause. The item is for a fellow cleric as well.
Aeofel: There’s likely to be traps in a crypt full of goodies. You are fortunate enough to have an associate in your employ who is trained in the detection and disarming fields.
Binwin: Here we are.
Aeofel: After you, Binwin.
Jim: Okay, we were told to pay attention to these symbols to find our way around.
Omin: And out, eventually.
Aeofel: Well shit.
Binwin: What?
Jim: FIRE IN THE HOLE!
Omin: What do you say, Aeofel?
Aeofel: If they keep bunching up like this and Jim will have no problem with his fireball spell.
Jim: Area of effect fire, undead bitches.
Aeofel: Hold up.
Omin: … what?
Aeofel: Yes!
Jim: Way to go, Al!
Aeofel: It’s Aeofel… but more importantly, it’s treasure!
The party continues through the Barrow Downs. Right out of the path, they are surrounded in one of the rooms.
Omin: You wanted your promotion to Wizard. All the golem parts are scattered around the continent. Deyja is one of those areas.
Binwin: Yeah, Jim. We're dragging our ass around for you when we should be busy reporting to the leaders of the human and elf nations.
Jim: Oh, right. Thanks guys.
Along the way...
Binwin: Pssh, no. We're not paying tax for anything here.
Omin: Especially to a... rotting... tax collector...
Aeofel: What?
Binwin: Yeah get out of here.
Aeofel: ... Oh no.
Binwin: FFFFFFFUUUUUU-
Aeofel: Contact! Many contacts!
Binwin: Yeaaaah Jim!
Omin: Whew, is everyone okay?
Jim: Another contact!
Aeofel: Wait, this one isn't hostile.
Omin: Interesting. I don't think we're in friendly territory though; necromancers appear to run this area.
After wandering through the mountains of Deyja to scattered houses...
Omin: Fuck yeah!
Jim: Man, what is this. Binwin plays exterminator, Aeofel runs around a hill, Omin scares some pirates, and I have to walk all over to find dismembered body parts hidden deep in necromancer central?
Omin: …
Aeofel: So how about that quest we’re on?
Jim: Oh right. That’s the last of the pieces here.
The team returns to Bracada to show their assembled golem.
On the way to meet the leaders of two kingdoms at war over their home, the associates of Acquisitions Incorporated stop by the lowlands of Tatalia to meet with some trainers and pick up supplies.
Aeofel: Do you guys want the good news or the bad news first?
Omin: Aeofel...
Binwin: Good news.
Jim: Good news.
Aeofel: Well, the good news is that I can identify the monsters in range.
Omin: And the bad?
Aeofel: There's like 30 of them.
Omin, Binwin: Shit.
Jim: Once again, Jim has got this. BEGIN ATTACK SEQUENCE!
Is everything pre-written/played? I like interactivity in my LPs, as you could tell if you go find the Civ 4 one I did.
I didn't allow much room for interactivity, unfortunately. If there is something specific from the game you would like to see played out then I will try my best to include it. I have a basic narrative that I'd like to stick to though.
Jim: Ughghgh, I don’t know if I’ll ever get over that place.
Omin: It was really as bad as it could possibly be.
Binwin: Hey, that’s cool. We have our own armorer and blacksmith now.
Omin: I don’t give a shit about a dungeon or torture area.
Back in Celeste, the group visits the advisors…
Aeofel: So, we’re now agents for the Path of Light?
Binwin: When did this happen?
Jim: Hey, if Jim thinks it could lead to more magic, then Jim is all for it.
Omin: I think it happened when we appointed the arbiter from Bracada. This could be a good thing, I mean, there are definitely… lucrative adventures for Acq Inc.
Binwin: I know what you mean. Say no more, say no more.
Omin: We have our first assignment. Let’s get down to business.
Aeofel: Vampires, eh. I remember seeing something in Tatalia that looked suspicious, but we never had any reason to check it out.
On the way to Tatalia, the group encounters a battle!
While planning for the missions given to them, the group considers a potential side quest.
Aeofel: Is this what I think it is?
Omin: This is your second and final promotion quest.
Jim: Holy shit.
Binwin: Jealous, man. Jealous.
In the Tularean Forest...
Aeofel: It looks like we need to avoid the trees to get to the Oldest Tree.
Omin: Why is that?
Aeofel: Because they attack us on sight, remember?
Omin: Oh right.
Binwin: They're attacking everyone because some poachers stole this "heart" he's talking about?
Aeofel: It appears so. If we recover the item, we might be able to calm the trees.
Jim: Jim is less interested about this forest and more interested in your reward, Aeofel.
Omin: It's a win-win, really.
Omin: Hmm... any ideas on the approach?
Binwin: How about we go through the front door and take out whoever is on the other side?
Jim: Jim recommends using invisibility to steal it back.
Aeofel: Gotta say, Jim, I'm with Binwin on this one. Bandits don't deserve an honorable fight, but they do deserve punishment. If we sneak around, we wouldn't get to kill them.
Posts
Binwin: … and the reward is a castle? For a scavenger hunt?!
Omin: That’s what it says on the invite.
Jim: Nothing has matched up to a castle yet.
Aeofel: Well, it could tie us down. We’d have to be landlords of a town and be diplomats. Do we want to give up adventuring?
Binwin: It doesn’t mean we have to give up our company objective, right Omin? A castle feels like our end goal. Let’s do it.
Aeofel: Fair enough. Melora will guide us.
Omin: Okay then. Jim, could you send a response? Destination is Emerald Island off the continent of Erathia.
Jim: Jim clearly remembers that you don’t want him to use the doves anymore.
Obviously, I had to compromise for the exact details of the party. M&M7 has no half-elf or avenger class like D&D, so I picked the closest thing. Choosing the class for Aeofel was the hardest. He shares roleplaying characteristics from the monk, ranger, and paladin, but I figured he was closer to the ranger in this game.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2zef6dARg0
And so, the adventure begins.
Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
I'm interested to see where this goes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McRr3r-iJs4
Aeofel: That was one terrible trip.
Omin: It did seem to go on forever.
Binwin: Where are we? And who are you?
Jim: What the hell is a “docent”?
Omin: I’m more concerned about what they consider to be violations of civilized behavior here.
Binwin: Does she mean we can’t hunt people for sport? This is a lame scavenger hunt.
Aeofel: No problem, Ms. Docent.
Omin: Sure. I guess if we explore the island right now we’ll find these items before anyone else. Especially if we use all of the skills at our disposal…
Jim: Jim can cast the spells that makes the peoples fall down.
The party makes their way to the headquarters of Lord Markham, the sponsor of the event.
Aeofel: Something doesn’t sit right with me about this lord and his prize.
Omin: Oh whoa, they’re offering a reward on these guys? Let’s make sure to look for them.
Jim: And avoid the dragon.
Omin: We don’t know if there’s really a dragon.
After leaving the HQ, the party encounters a strange, almost sininster-looking salesman.
Omin: The hell?
Omin: Sure, sure. My associates and I would be interested in your proposition if that is the case.
Jim: A favor in the future? Jim doesn’t like the sound of that. Jim does like the sound of a fireball wand though.
Omin: Yeah but he hasn’t presented what this favor could be.
Aeofel: Could be anything, right?
Binwin: I’m not convinced that anyone here can beat us in this hunt anyway. We don’t need the wand. It’d be nice, but Jim’s got the fiery magic thing going well.
After encountering Mr. Malwik, the party begins to question the townsfolk about the missing contestants.
Jim: Oh good.
Jim: Well shit.
While exploring the island and gathering items for the scavenger hunt, the party encounters hostile creatures…
… with little trouble, and reaches ominous cave.
Jim: Hey, this looks like the cave wh-
Omin: CHAAAARGE!
Aeofel: What!?
Omin: Pick up all the treasure! GO GO GO!
Binwin: Wheee!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsDX0O8THW8
Omin: Everyone okay?
Binwin: That was pretty cool. Insane, but cool.
Jim: I picked up a note and a shield in there.
Binwin: There’s blood all over it!
Aeofel: It’s got a name on the back… “Serena”. Poor bastard.
Jim: Bitch.
Aeofel: What?
Jim: Serena is a girl’s name.
Aeofel: …yes.
Omin: What does the note say?
Jim: Those bones we saw? That salesman tried the same thing on them and let them wander into this cave without warning them?
Aeofel: Where they got roasted. I bet Malwick is gone by now.
Binwin: It’s signed, “Brian, Docent”. Maybe we can collect the reward with this stuff.
Omin: Sucks that they died in a fire.
The party got a generous reward.
Omin: It was an honor, my lord.
Outside...
Jim: WOOOO!
Omin: Hell yeah! Profiting from others misfortune!
Later… at the last unexplored area of the island.
Jim: Ooh, it’s dark here.
Binwin: Don’t you have, um, FIRE?
Jim: Oh right.
Aeofel: Contact!
Binwin: BEES!
Aeofel: ...Bats.
Binwin: Bats. I meant bats. What did I say?
Aeofel: Bees.
Binwin: Well, the thing about that is-
Omin: Something from the side! Jim?!
Jim: Jim’s got this.
Binwin: Yeah, Jim’s got the fiery magic down solid.
Jim: Shit be on fire, yo.
Omin: Fantastic. Let’s get the the stuff we need and win this. Time to get off this rock.
Omin: Okay guys, we’re good to go.
Jim: What if we can’t do this? Like, what if we’re terrible lords?
Aeofel: It’s likely that our subjects will revolt against us. We’ll be dead, or exiled.
Jim: Meh.
Binwin: I have faith in our ruling capabilities.
Omin: Very well, then…
Aeofel: Let’s go see our new home.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vt1RQIK3x5E
Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
That cliched it. Nightmare fuel.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPiaKcqqjls
Aeofel: …Okay.
Omin: Yeah.
Binwin: Hey wait, person.
Jim: Jim does not like his new home. This sucks.
Omin: No. We need to talk to this guy again. We’re going into town to find the tavern.
Binwin: Well I’m up for a fight at least.
Aeofel: I hate goblins.
Jim: Nah, we’re good, thanks. If shit gets bad then we’ll call.
Binwin: Alright, let’s do this!
Omin: Binwin, they really don’t like you
Aeofel: They’re going after you exclusively!
Binwin: Son of a b-
The party eventually rids the castle of goblins, and discovers a note in a trapped chest.
Jim: Check this out.
Aeofel leaves the party.
Binwin: Wait!
Omin: I know exactly what he’s going to do. We have to go after him!
Five minutes later.
Aeofel: You fucker.
Aeofel: I don’t care. You’re a goblin!
Jim: Al!
Jim: …Nice.
Omin: We’re done here.
Omin: So these dwarves, great fixer upper people, right?
Binwin: Dwarves are, but I don’t know about the ones in Stone City.
Omin: We might as well try. It’s likely we’ll have to do something to prove ourselves too.
Aeofel: I wonder why our place is so bad anyway.
Aeofel: Oh, I see. So we were basically tricked into this place from the scavenger hunt. I vow revenge on Lord Markham for tricking us into this situation.
Jim: Did I not ask you guys what would happen if we sucked as lords? Like, before all this?
Omin: Yes you did. But we’ve got our shit together. We just need to find the dwarves.
Binwin: And go through some trial to make them listen to us.
Omin: Listen, it’s going to be okay. The Barrow Downs is just a few days south.
Aeofel: Harmondale is at the northwest part of this area. What’s outside of town?
Aeofel: Oh.
Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hbaNfHToT8
Omin: We have to defend the town. Rush the stronghold and take it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWefSHp3un4
Jim: We got it, boss.
Binwin: Guys, we have more goblins here.
Aeofel: They got through our artillery.
Binwin: For the love of god, Omin!
Omin: Heal is on the way.
The team destroys the few remaining goblins, secures the area, and heads back to town. It seems that the townspeople are more optimistic about the party, and one person at the tavern is willing to share his story.
Jim: Jim thinks we should check it out.
Binwin: Yeah, what better way to earn the people’s confidence?
While exploring the surrounding area for the caves, the group comes upon a solitary house.
Binwin: I can imagine why this guy doesn’t like to be bothered.
Omin: Lucky peasants…? Maybe we really did get conned into this job.
Aeofel: We’ll find a way, Omin. We even have a lead with the dwarves.
Omin: Perhaps. Let’s just focus on the task at hand for now.
Eventually, they find the White Cliff Caves.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5Wzhr0-olc
Aeofel: Binwin…
Binwin: It wasn’t me!
Jim: Someone, or something, died in here.
Omin: I can’t really see…
Aeofel: There’s quite a few of them!
Omin: Take them out.
After dealing with the enemies at the cave entrance, they start to hear the weirdest noises traversing the cave.
Binwin: The hell is that sound? It’s horrifying.
Jim: It sounds like angry, wet fish fighting to the death.
Omin: Looks like they have other problems. Don’t get involved.
Aeofel: I have no idea what this is.
Jim: Uh, guys…
Binwin: Poor bastard. Went crazy in the head and wrote down his ramblings.
Omin: I think that’s actually rules for the game he plays.
Jim: ArcoMage?
Omin: Later. We need to get out of here.
As Omin and his friends prepare to set up camp outside the cave, a feeling of unease comes over him. Thinking back to Judge Grey’s words, he says a prayer to the goddess Avandra for guidance. He does not know what the future will bring.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hamnGzd9cYo
Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
Binwin: hmph…goaway.
Omin: You heard the elf. We’re off to the Stone City today.
Binwin: …Oh? Really?
Omin: We’re heading back to Harmondale to catch a ride and to tell the guy that his brother is done for.
Jim: Guy was also a huge nerd for this card game.
Jim: Jim doesn’t really have any interest in this game anymore. It sounds like you end up crazy and dead.
Aeofel: Not necessarily in that order.
Jim: What, you think he wrote those notes after he died?
Aeofel: I’m saying he could have gone crazy because he knew he was going to die.
Jim: Oh.
As the party prepares to journey to the Stone City, a patron approaches Omin at the tavern.
Omin: Okay! Everyone ready? We’re on the move.
The next day…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBVwle27OxQ
Binwin: This isn’t Stone City, or anything stone-related. What gives?
Omin: We have a job. Also, I thought we might check in with our boss in the capital of Erathia. They might give us some more direction.
Binwin: So wait, I have two bosses now?
Omin: No, no. But our lands in Harmondale are supposedly under dispute between the humans and elves. Right now they’re under human control.
Aeofel: We should talk to the elves too, later on.
The party takes some time to explore the Erathian capital of Steadwick.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Anoc67QPMaQ
Omin: I guess word gets around.
Omin: Looks like we have an reason to explore Tatalia soon.
Binwin: What a coincidence. We were just on our way there. I’m sure we’ll pass by and do some undead killing in the Barrow Downs.
Jim: Jim now has a new opinion about this game.
Omin: Now for the castle. We’re here on business. They don’t know we’re coming, so we have to be extra respectful.
Jim: Who lives here anyway?
Omin: Queen Gryphonheart. This town used to be under the control of the necromancers for a while in Heroes of Mi- I mean… from what I’ve been told.
Aeofel: Ooh. Nice.
Omin: What?!
Binwin: That’s… cocked.
Jim: I’m done with this shit. If they want us, let them send a message or something.
Omin: *sigh* We can still do our job here, even if she won’t speak to us.
Aeofel: You haven’t filled us in on this job.
Omin: I’ll explain on the way.
Binwin: Seems pretty straightforward. I’ll take point.
Binwin: Target acquired.
Jim: Score another one for AQI. This was too easy.
Aeofel: Speak for yourself. They weren’t all attacking you exclusively.
Omin: You’re welcome for the heals.
Binwin: Where did the rest of the bandits go?
Jim: Oh shit!
Binwin: I think we wore out our non-welcome.
Omin: At least someone is going to be grateful today.
Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
I've got entire chapters based on that spell, so yes.
Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
It was a great game, one of the best M&M's.
But if it didn't have Arcomage it probably would have only taken me 1/3 of the time it did to beat it.
Origin: Galedrid - Nintendo: Galedrid/3222-6858-1045
Blizzard: Galedrid#1367 - FFXIV: Galedrid Kingshand
Jim: So, why are we going here again?
Binwin: To get some help to fix our castle, Jim. We can’t really live there yet, and we were told that the dwarves can help us.
Jim: The castle that the guy tricked us into winning.
Omin: Try to make the best of a bad situation.
Jim: What’s to say that they won’t let us in, just like what happened in Erathia?
Omin: I don’t know, but I’m going to try.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2IWkh62NJg
Aeofel: What a blasted wasteland. The dwarves live here?
Binwin: Under here. Didn’t you pay attention to that guy?
Aeofel: !
Binwin: Well? Did you?
Aeofel: In…incoming!
Omin: Undead? Excellent.
After fighting through scattered undead enemies, the party comes to a massive stone building on the highest ridge.
Jim: That has to be it.
Binwin: Let’s go look around.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZkQyQzzhft0
Omin: These networks of tunnels are incredible.
Binwin: We dwarves are at home in here. There’s probably still plenty they haven’t explored.
Binwin: Or maybe too much. We’ll take care of it.
Aeofel: Binwin, we don’t have time to be taking jobs from dwarves.
Binwin: Yeah we do. We need to help them so we can look good.
Jim: But wait, what if that dwarf who gave us that job is a motherfucker?
Binwin: I … what?
Jim: You know, like he’s actually a bad dwarf and wants to use the trogs as manual labor?
Omin: They do the tough jobs that the dwarves don’t want to do?
Jim: Yeah.
Binwin: …Nope. Fuck you. We’re doing it.
Eventually, the party finds the passage to the throne room.
Jim: Hey! They said they’ll see us now.
Omin: Great.
Binwin: Yeah. We have a mission.
Omin: I was being sarcastic. It’s suicide.
Aeofel: Medusas can turn us into stone. We have no defense against that.
Jim: Well, Jim thinks we just need to think about how we’re going to do this.
Aeofel: …Yes. We have time.
The group decides to take on the lower tunnels while they consider their next objective.
Binwin: Let’s do this shit!
Aeofel: Pssh, nothing special about these mindless spawns.
Jim: Is that all of them?
To sum up the adventure to this point...
Omin: Okay. The way I see it now, is that we have our main objective in the Bracada mines to free those dwarves.
Aeofel: Against the Medusas.
Omin: Right. That’s out of the question right now. What we do have is a mission topside for Mr. Bronzebottom.
Binwin: Oh yes. The haunted mansion and how we must destroy many undead!
Omin: After that, we’ll talk to the elves and pay a visit to the guy who sold us our place. Maybe find a way to free the dwarves along the way.
Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
Oh, hey, look what I dug up out of some old memories and Google.
http://arcomage.netvor.sk/
And now…
Binwin: Doesn’t look very inviting.
Jim: Looks a bit creepy to be honest. Jim no likey.
Omin: The guy said it was full of undead. So yeah.
Aeofel: We’re doing this for you, Binwin.
Binwin: Alright. I’ll take point.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNxUvXmqroQ
Binwin: Shit.
Omin: I got this one.
Jim: Ahahaha! Dance for me!
Omin: They’re all over the place. I can’t Turn them forever.
Aeofel: We need to clear the entire house. It doesn’t seem like there’s any more in the main room.
Binwin: More behind the doors!
Jim: And now they’re on fire.
Omin: Nice.
Aeofel: Uhh, guys?
Aeofel: I think the portrait’s eyes are following me.
Jim: Yeah. It’s a haunted mansion with undead that are actively trying to kill us. It’s a miracle this thing hasn’t come alive yet.
Omin: Hold that thought.
Binwin: Enemies in the distance!
Jim: I’m throwing some sparks so they take damage when they try to get close.
Binwin: Clear!
Omin: Copy that.
Back in Erathia…
Binwin: Ohhhhh yeaaaaah!
Aeofel: Whoa.
Omin: So you’re like a super tank now?
Binwin: Yes! I feel like I can master some skills now that I couldn’t before. Fear me, elf!
Aeofel: Trembling here.
Jim: Just so you’re all clear, Jim is dropping everything once he finds a promotion quest for himself, right?
Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
Binwin: Where are we going again?
Aeofel: Oh, I see it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MN30Cd0xLqM
Omin: We’re visiting the elf guy who claims to own our land, too.
Jim: Just like the humans.
Omin: Exactly.
Aeofel: Well…
Omin: You suck.
Aeofel: You didn’t do any better!
Jim: Jim thinks you guys should chill out. Take a walk or something.
Binwin: Uhh guys…?
Omin: That’s never good.
Jim: Okay so back to town now go go go?
Aeofel: Hey, we’re close to Avlee and we have nothing else to do now, right?
Aeofel: Yeah, we’re definitely going right now or Melora help me, I swear I will swear at you.
Omin: Oh shit.
Binwin: Fine. I kind of want to get out of this town on stilts with its creepy forest.
On the way to Avlee…
Omin: What?
Jim: Oh shit.
Binwin: I’m FREAKIN' OUT man.
Jim: We’re all freaking out, man.
Aeofel: …
Binwin: This place is so weird!
Later…
Aeofel: It appears to be an elvish encampment.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFs5nYHejDU
Omin: We’re looking for the faeries. Look around town for any leads.
Aeofel: Got one! Let’s go.
Binwin: … Okay, it’s certainly unsettling in here.
Jim: So it’s like a puzzle? How do we get in?
Aeofel: We should look around back and see if there’s anything around there.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvM1UMPMxy8
Aeofel: Oh. Sweet.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyRfBBgDJ78
Jim: That, and…
Omin: Excellent work, Aeofel. Hunter.
Aeofel: Thanks, boss.
Aeofel: Mission complete.
Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsYjN4wFw4o
Omin: Ugh. Everything here is a hovel.
Binwin: I have water not only in my boots, but my armor too.
Jim: Yeah, I can see where being… less tall… would be a problem here.
Binwin: Underground? Not a problem. Riding a horse? Not really a problem. Swamp lands? Problem.
Aeofel: I would say something now but it would just be mean.
Binwin: Yeah yeah.
Omin: We’re here.
Jim: So all the people here live in shacks while this guy gets his own mansion? Jim thinks that’s a bit more than bullshit.
Omin: He probably has the people literally take out his bullshit.
Omin: Well, I kind of figured that. But we’re here for more than one reason.
Binwin: Jim, I really wish we could light this guy up and not get killed in the process.
Omin: Yeah, we were just going… jackass.
Omin: “Lords of Harmondale.” Yeah, I hope so. Seems like we’re really stuck with it now.
Aeofel: Omin, I have Melora’s blessing that we will be able to find a way to not fail.
Jim: Fire solves many things.
Aeofel: I… what? I just…
Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
Omin: What do you think, guys?
Jim: Jim thinks we have enough to worry about without more treasure hunting.
Binwin: Well, we could always use some more support… and money.
Jim: I guess that’s true.
Binwin: It’s not like we’re in a rush. They’re turned to stone.
Aeofel: Do you want to go, Omin?
Omin: Yeah. I do. At the very least, it will help our cause. The item is for a fellow cleric as well.
Aeofel: There’s likely to be traps in a crypt full of goodies. You are fortunate enough to have an associate in your employ who is trained in the detection and disarming fields.
Binwin: Here we are.
Aeofel: After you, Binwin.
Jim: Okay, we were told to pay attention to these symbols to find our way around.
Omin: And out, eventually.
Aeofel: Well shit.
Binwin: What?
Jim: FIRE IN THE HOLE!
Omin: What do you say, Aeofel?
Aeofel: If they keep bunching up like this and Jim will have no problem with his fireball spell.
Jim: Area of effect fire, undead bitches.
Aeofel: Hold up.
Omin: … what?
Aeofel: Yes!
Jim: Way to go, Al!
Aeofel: It’s Aeofel… but more importantly, it’s treasure!
The party continues through the Barrow Downs. Right out of the path, they are surrounded in one of the rooms.
Omin: Turning!
Omin: Haha!
Later…
Jim: Open room! They’re bunched up!
Omin: No wait-
Jim: Oops. Sorry there.
Binwin: Can you not do that next time?
Aeofel: Be aware of your surroundings.
Jim: Hey, cheer up. I found it!
Omin: Let’s get the fuck out of here!
Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
Omin: We're at Bracada.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVqbnGWqf6c
Aeofel: Where is that, exactly?
Binwin: Gaaah!
Jim: Constructed golems, they're friendly.
Omin: There must be a group of wizards around here.
Jim: Jim is excited to talk magic to people who know magic.
Binwin: Unlike us?
Aeofel: Maybe they've heard of you, Jim.
Omin: You know, if there's one place to find out information about magical resistances, it's here.
The group explores the rocky terrain populated by students and teachers of magical arts.
Jim: So only magic can harm them? Great.
Aeofel: Great for you. We're not so lucky.
Jim: Well, Jim thinks you should have studied magic like he did.
Aeofel spots an odd building, and the group enters.
Aeofel: The Guild of... Illumination?
Binwin: This place is very cool and we know nothing about it.
Meanwhile, Jim is awe-struck by a landmark nearby.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrgQOinNgWI
Jim: Omin?
Omin: Absolutely.
Jim: Promotion quest!
Aeofel: I'll be on the lookout for your parts, Jim.
Binwin: Oh yeah. I picked this up on our way here.
Omin: You were carrying around a giant torso and never bothered to tell us why or how?
Binwin: Nope. Listen, I got this. I knew it was going to be important, and it was.
Aeofel: Speaking of importance...
Aeofel: ... We're here.
Omin: Ready?
Binwin: Yup.
Jim: Jim is ready.
Aeofel: I am prepared.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qp0GYyEvhec
Aeofel: Contact!
Jim: Firing!
Aeofel: It's working!
Omin: Maybe this will help you out some more.
Jim: Sweet.
The upper mines are cleared, but noises are still heard from below. However, the group finds and rescues all the dwarves without needing to descend.
Aeofel: Apparently the medusas are not here now. Let us not test our luck by seeking them out!
Omin: Excellent. Let's do our job and leave intact.
Binwin: Hey Jim, I found this for you.
Jim: Montage?
Omin: Probably soon.
Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
Jim: Wait wait wait.
Binwin: What?
Jim: This is all well and good, but what about Jim's promotion quest?
Omin, Binwin, Aeofel: ... Fine.
Jim: Jim thinks you guys are pretty fucking lucky he's around.
Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAfz6TpDiQE
Omin: You wanted your promotion to Wizard. All the golem parts are scattered around the continent. Deyja is one of those areas.
Binwin: Yeah, Jim. We're dragging our ass around for you when we should be busy reporting to the leaders of the human and elf nations.
Jim: Oh, right. Thanks guys.
Along the way...
Binwin: Pssh, no. We're not paying tax for anything here.
Omin: Especially to a... rotting... tax collector...
Aeofel: What?
Binwin: Yeah get out of here.
Aeofel: ... Oh no.
Binwin: FFFFFFFUUUUUU-
Aeofel: Contact! Many contacts!
Binwin: Yeaaaah Jim!
Omin: Whew, is everyone okay?
Jim: Another contact!
Aeofel: Wait, this one isn't hostile.
Omin: Interesting. I don't think we're in friendly territory though; necromancers appear to run this area.
After wandering through the mountains of Deyja to scattered houses...
Omin: Fuck yeah!
Jim: Man, what is this. Binwin plays exterminator, Aeofel runs around a hill, Omin scares some pirates, and I have to walk all over to find dismembered body parts hidden deep in necromancer central?
Omin: …
Aeofel: So how about that quest we’re on?
Jim: Oh right. That’s the last of the pieces here.
The team returns to Bracada to show their assembled golem.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gwbyw9K0trQ
Binwin: That is awesome.
Aeofel: Well done, Jim.
Jim: Jim feels smarter already.
Binwin: Now all we need to do is get Omin promoted.
Omin: I think I know where to start…
Binwin: How?
Omin: It's called being a leader.
Aeofel: Oh snap! He took your shit apart!
Jim: Uh...
Aeofel: I mean, "indeed".
Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
The group is assisting Omin, who is looking for a secret cave with a map in order to get his promotion.
Omin: I don't give a shit what the map reads, it's just that the guy wants it and I don't want to be stuck as the only guy without an up.
Aeofel: There!
Binwin: Let's do this!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACG59tmAUbQ
Jim: Pirates!
Aeofel: Ninjas!
Jim, Aeofel: Meh.
Omin: Undead!
Binwin: That's a bit more unsettling.
In quick order, the group clears what appears to be a ship hidden in the cave. Aeofel spots a hidden door, and...
Aeofel: Got it.
Omin: To Deyja!
Jim: To Deyja? Goddammit.
Omin: That's why he wanted this map? There's a religious holy war on a bunch of islands?
Binwin: Sounds like we might be called to investigate soon.
Omin: Perhaps, but we've been ignoring our main responsibilities with our kingdom(s), plural. Shall we see what they have for us?
Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
Wilds of Aladrion: [https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/43159014/#Comment_43159014]Ellandryn[/url]
Aeofel: Do you guys want the good news or the bad news first?
Omin: Aeofel...
Binwin: Good news.
Jim: Good news.
Aeofel: Well, the good news is that I can identify the monsters in range.
Omin: And the bad?
Aeofel: There's like 30 of them.
Omin, Binwin: Shit.
Jim: Once again, Jim has got this. BEGIN ATTACK SEQUENCE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSwATqPUsv0
Aeofel: Enemies spotted! Range 30 meters!
Jim: Targeting vanguard! Firing!
Aeofel: Hit, right! Not bad...
Jim: Re-verifying angle, adjust 10 degrees left!
Aeofel: Hit, left! Almost got it!
Jim: Damn, re-verifying angle, adjust 5 degrees right!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFBX0Tky51Y
Jim: Haha, yes!
Aeofel: That's a direct hit!
Omin: No. That is power.
Binwin: Well done. What else you got up your sleeve?
Jim: You'll see.
The group proceeds to the human capital of Erathia, where they were recently not allowed an audience with the queen.
Jim: So...
Omin: Yeah.
Aeofel: If we try to rescue the human spy, the elves will surely attack us.
Binwin: As much as I don't care for the elves, Al has a point.
Aeofel: ...
Omin: We don't have to do anything yet. We have a month.
After hearing the request from the queen, the group travels to the elvish kingdom to hear the elf king's plea.
Jim: Jim thinks this is bad. They both want us to do their dirty work for their war.
Omin: They both want our lands. The question is, what do we do?
Binwin: Sir, I have a cunning plan...
Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
I didn't allow much room for interactivity, unfortunately. If there is something specific from the game you would like to see played out then I will try my best to include it. I have a basic narrative that I'd like to stick to though.
Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
Jim: We can do it. I just got an invisibility spell.
Omin: Sure. As long as we don't attract any attention, we can do our job for both sides and get the reward.
Binwin: They'll never know we were there.
Aeofel: Not a bad plan, Binwin. Assuming we don't screw up.
Binwin: Thanks, Al.
Aeofel: ... It's Aeofel.
Omin: We are already near one of the places. Perhaps that cave the queen spoke of.
Binwin: An escape tunnel, eh?
Jim: Let's go check it out.
Omin, Binwin, Aeofel: ... WHOA.
Jim: Oh yeah, Jim can fly now. He got it on sale with the invisibility spell. I thought you guys knew.
Binwin: I'm never going to get used to that.
Jim: To what? Flight? We got here much faster, didn't we?
Binwin: Yeah, but at the cost of my stomach and its contents. I like living on the ground!
Aeofel, Omin: SHHHHH.
Jim: Oh right, the spell.
Omin: (Now we must be very quiet. We're only invisible, not silent.)
Binwin: Why are we invisible, again?
Aeofel: (Shhhh! We're not allowed to be here. The elves would attack us on sight.)
Omin: (And we don't want them to know we are playing both sides.)
Binwin: (Oh, gotcha. You do know dwarves aren't very stealthy people.)
Aeofel: (Heads up, enemy patrol.)
The party slowly makes their way around the patrol, without being heard.
Jim: (We have less than an hour left on this spell.)
Binwin: (It's okay, I think I found the cell.)
Omin: (Let's make our way back to the surface.)
Once again, Jim grabbed something from a chest nearby.
Binwin: (Who are those guys?)
Omin: No idea, and you don't have to whisper anymore. We're out.
Omin: Yay money.
Jim: Now we go play the other side, right?
Omin: Absolutely.
Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
Jim: (Invisibility ready.)
Omin: (Quietly now...)
The party sneaks into the heavily-guarded fortress in human territory in order to steal documents about its layout for the elves.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13ZIQBCJYzI
Binwin: (Yeah but if we're seen here, it's bad.)
Aeofel: (We want in and out with no questions.)
Binwin: (Heyooo.)
Aeofel: (Quiet you.)
Omin: (Patrol!)
Aeofel: (Trap!)
Omin: (They've got this place loaded for bear.)
Jim: (Jim feels kind of guilty for doing these things. I don't want to see a bunch of people get killed because of us.)
Binwin: (Yeah. I hope it doesn't come to that. They'd get people to do this anyway.)
Aeofel spots a mechanism behind a picture in one of the rooms.
Aeofel: (Hmm?)
Omin: (Good. Now we leave.)
Jim: Ha! On second thought, Jim likes money a bit more.
Binwin: Wouldn't it have been weird if we went to the human queen with those plans? Or if we went to the elf king with their own prisoner?
Omin: It would have been funny for about five seconds before they executed us for treason. In any case, our job here is-
Omin: Well shit.
Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
Jim: There was a firefight!
Omin: (Get down, you fool!)
Binwin: (Ha, Binwin is already down.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBsUXGqzDJE
Jim: (Oh damn, they're really going at it.)
Omin dashes out from their hiding spot, still invisible, and quietly opens the chest.
Aeofel: (Omin!)
Omin: (Get us out of here, Jim. While they're still occupied fighting each other.)
Jim: (Can do, boss.)
Back in Harmondale...
Aeofel: The human and elf ambassadors both think the other side has the artifact. They each want it.
Omin: Don't tell anyone we have it until we figure out what to do.
Binwin: So what now, leader? We've got this death sentence in our hands.
Jim: Jim doesn't like that tone you're taking.
Binwin: What the hell does my tone have to do with it? We're risking our lives here.
Aeofel: I have an idea. Let's give it to the Harmondale Arbiter. That way, no one else has the thing and we can use it to make a statement.
Binwin: What statement would that be?
Aeofel: That we deserve our lands, and it wasn't an accident that we won them.
The group is quiet for a few moments while they consider Aeofel's idea.
Omin: Done.
Back in town...
A few days later, at the tavern in Harmondale.
Binwin: Ahh, this is the life. Well done everyone.
Jim: Not much happening here lately.
Aeofel: Jim, do not jinx our-
Binwin: Son of a-
Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
Binwin: He’s dead, Jim.
Jim: Damn.
Omin, Binwin, Jim, Aeofel: Hey, what?!
Two exotically-clad ambassadors rush the party as they make their way to the throne room. Each are pushing in front of the other for attention.
Omin: Perhaps you can-
Omin: We will consid-
Omin: Well, I-
Omin: The thing is-
Aeofel: Goddammit people, let the man think!
Binwin: Whoa.
Aeofel: Sorry. Human bickering annoys me a lot.
Omin slowly leads the ambassadors to the door, then swiftly sidesteps behind them.
Omin: Thanks guys, we'll take it from here.
The doors bolt closed and the group begins to discuss their options.
Jim: The hell was that about?
Omin: Ugh. We have a problem.
Binwin: What?
Omin: They are relying on us to pick a successor to arbitrate the war over our land.
Jim: Jim does not think that sounds like fun.
Aeofel: It's a senseless war. We kept that artifact to make a point.
Omin: They're still fighting each other though.
Binwin: The one guy is from Bracada, where the mages are. Jim, didn't you like that place a lot?
Jim: That place be blazin, yo.
Omin: I've got less faith in necromancers than most people, if you couldn't tell.
Aeofel: It doesn't seem like we should go with Deyja. That place wasn't exactly welcoming, what with the undead ambush and such.
Binwin: Seems like a decision ought to be made.
Omin: Fortunately, this might be an easy one. To Bracada!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2QQK7LPx58
Jim: Something feels different.
Omin: Didn't your parents ever give you the talk?
Jim: Only when I accidentally had the walls blown out in our house.
Omin: ... Nevermind.
Omin: To Celeste!
Binwin: Uh, Omin? Where is Celeste?
Omin: I ... don't ... know ...
Jim: Oh, okay.
Binwin: What is this!?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXFAa019sIg
Omin, Binwin, Jim, Aeofel: Ooooh. Shiny.
Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfXWkv5Q30g
Aeofel: Quite extraordinary. What are we doing here, again?
Omin: Yes! We were told to report to a guy in a place.
Jim: That place?
Omin: That'll work.
Jim: We have a government?
Binwin: We are the government. I guess.
Jim: Heh, "back door".
Binwin: Heyooo.
Jim: Oh. Well that's not fun.
Omin: It's not easy. Jim, can we rely on your invisibility?
Jim: Not a problem.
Binwin: Well, I'm useless here.
Aeofel: That's not true. If we get attacked, we need you to soak up all the damage.
Binwin: ... I feel so appreciated.
Omin: Here we go!
Several hours later...
Omin: What happened in there, you ask? What happens in the Walls of Mist, stays in the Walls of Mist.
Aeofel: Let's never, ever do that again.
Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
Omin: It was really as bad as it could possibly be.
Binwin: Hey, that’s cool. We have our own armorer and blacksmith now.
Omin: I don’t give a shit about a dungeon or torture area.
Back in Celeste, the group visits the advisors…
Aeofel: So, we’re now agents for the Path of Light?
Binwin: When did this happen?
Jim: Hey, if Jim thinks it could lead to more magic, then Jim is all for it.
Omin: I think it happened when we appointed the arbiter from Bracada. This could be a good thing, I mean, there are definitely… lucrative adventures for Acq Inc.
Binwin: I know what you mean. Say no more, say no more.
Omin: We have our first assignment. Let’s get down to business.
Aeofel: Vampires, eh. I remember seeing something in Tatalia that looked suspicious, but we never had any reason to check it out.
On the way to Tatalia, the group encounters a battle!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=029VKN61Mjg
Omin: That was easy.
Binwin: It’s nice to fly, I guess.
Aeofel: This is it.
Jim: Wine Cellar Investigation. I think we should have an opening montage.
Binwin: Then you can do the honor of analyzing those ominous brown stains on the stairs.
Jim: Ehh, maybe not.
Aeofel: Oh shit, contact!
Omin: On it.
Jim: It’s a tomb…
Omin: A vampire is around here somewhere.
Aeofel: How about two?!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ea5RiOfcF6k
Binwin: Yeaaaah!
Aeofel: Watch out!
Binwin: AHHHH-
Omin: Heal on the way!
Aeofel: No one KO’s my dwarf.
Jim: Jim is readying his direct damage spell.
Omin: Fire everything!
Binwin: Ugh, what happened?
Jim: We beat the bad guys.
Binwin: Was it as bad as the Walls of Mist?
Omin, Jim, Aeofel: … No.
Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
While planning for the missions given to them, the group considers a potential side quest.
Aeofel: Is this what I think it is?
Omin: This is your second and final promotion quest.
Jim: Holy shit.
Binwin: Jealous, man. Jealous.
In the Tularean Forest...
Aeofel: It looks like we need to avoid the trees to get to the Oldest Tree.
Omin: Why is that?
Aeofel: Because they attack us on sight, remember?
Omin: Oh right.
Binwin: They're attacking everyone because some poachers stole this "heart" he's talking about?
Aeofel: It appears so. If we recover the item, we might be able to calm the trees.
Jim: Jim is less interested about this forest and more interested in your reward, Aeofel.
Omin: It's a win-win, really.
Omin: Hmm... any ideas on the approach?
Binwin: How about we go through the front door and take out whoever is on the other side?
Jim: Jim recommends using invisibility to steal it back.
Aeofel: Gotta say, Jim, I'm with Binwin on this one. Bandits don't deserve an honorable fight, but they do deserve punishment. If we sneak around, we wouldn't get to kill them.
Jim: Your call, Al.
Aeofel: Dammit, Jim. But thanks.
Omin: All buffs up? Let's go!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNYV7vCpayg
Binwin: Enemy archers!
Omin: Spread out and keep moving!
Aeofel: This one's mine.
Jim: Clear!
Omin: Check the chests for loot.
Binwin: Found something.
Omin: Ah, nice. Good thing we didn't fall for that trick.
Aeofel: That was a proper decision back then, Omin.
Binwin: Hey buddy.
Binwin: All your's.
Aeofel: What! We were just here! Seriously?!
Jim: Talk faster you goddamn ream of paper.
Binwin: Just give it to him.
Omin: They've quieted...
Binwin: Aeofel the Ranger Lord? Intimidating, but just wait until it's Binwin's turn!
Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
Jim: What happened? Are we going after more stuff?
Omin: It went something like this...
Binwin: Holy wall of text.
Jim: Bottom-line it for me.
Omin: I need my final promotion. We're going to some islands to stop a war. Move out.
Aeofel: Yes, sir!
Omin: Any fucking questions?
Binwin, Jim: Uh, nope.
Jim: Cursed?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFn_a0k5Vpw
Jim: Wait... what are we doing? Jim doesn't like curses!
Aeofel: Contact!
Binwin: Out here? We just pulled into shore!
Omin: Get 'em!
Jim: They're down, but they're undead.
Omin: That's probably the curse.
Jim: Oh. Jim can handle that.
Omin: Let's get to work.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8DPuT64ZFo
Jim: Ooh, dark in here.
Binwin: (Your torch fire spell?)
Jim: ... Right.
Aeofel: Enemy crazy people!
Binwin: Yeaaaaah!
Aeofel: Omin, the altar is right here.
Omin: That was simple. The altar was straight in from the front door in plain sight on the main altar.
Jim: Is there a Temple of the Sun? Can we check that out?
Aeofel: Oh shit, they're hostile!
Omin: We weren't sent here to kill them. We were actually sent here to help them! Don't attack them!
Jim: Well fuck, Omin, we need to get out of here then.
Omin: Your CEO just got a big pay raise.
Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
Aeofel: Interesting task.
Jim: Go get the thing from our temple across the street? Why couldn't they get it themselves?
Binwin: Maybe they're hostile. Like the other guys "of Light".
Omin: I hope not. The other guys were at war on an deserted island for years.
Aeofel: No, not hostile.
Binwin: Crap, we have a quest in the Pit. That sounds like a pain.
Jim: Jim is not looking forward to that. Can we put it off as long as possible?
Omin: It doesn't seem like it.
Jim: Another?
Jim: Hey, guys. You know how I said all those things about not going to the Pit?
Aeofel: Change of heart, Jim?
Jim: Well yeah. I just... it's going to suck.
Binwin: We have four quests there!
Omin: It must be done.
Aeofel: What's our plan of attack?
Omin: Invisibility. If we have a look around and decide we can survive in the open, then we'll get into combat.
Jim: Well, how hard are these quests to complete?
Aeofel: So basically we have to do something that even the great mages could not accomplish.
Omin: Fantastic. Let's go! To Deyja!
Jim: Goddammit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXGBh_3J25g
Omin, Binwin, Jim, Aeofel: Well shit.
Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
Jim: So we're basically entering the goddamn maw of hell.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TM6q24bkavY
Binwin: This isn't scary at all.
Aeofel: WAAAGH!
Jim: Oh right, invisibility.
Omin: We can handle this for now.
Binwin: Yeaaaaah!
After a few seconds of combat...
Omin: One down, three to go...
Aeofel: Sorry about that back there.
Jim: No problems, thanks for the heads up though.
Binwin: What's next on the list?
Omin: The other half of the temple key...
Aeofel: ... Heads up.
Omin: From here on, light and noise discipline.
Jim: (Copy that.)
Aeofel: (Civilians...)
Jim: (Eww, gross.)
Omin: (These soul jars are another one of our targets.)
Aeofel: (Watch your six.)
Binwin: (Shit, these guys are tough.)
Aeofel: (Watch your step.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dLVRX2jTYU
Omin: (In. Out. Done.)
Aeofel: (That's what she said.)
Omin: (Dammit, Aeofel.)
Binwin: (Of course, while we're here, might as well pick up some treasure.)
Aeofel: (The water is fake. More stuff down here.)
Jim: (Where is the key?)
Aeofel: (Found it.)
Omin: (Nice. Let's keep moving. Anyone spotted us?)
Jim: (Not that I can tell.)
Omin: (Our source said that the soul jars are ... in ... there...)
Binwin: (Oh great.)
Jim: (We are so fucked.)
Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
Jim: (Soul jars. Soul jars. Where are these things?)
Binwin: (It's not like we're in any real danger, right? Sneaking around a heavily-secured fortress with a countdown on our invisibility.)
Omin: (We need to hurry. Search faster!)
Aeofel: (Hey I found a boat.)
Jim: (See where it goes?)
After an instantaneous boat ride through the lava, the group climbs a staircase to find a chest.
Binwin: (Finally. Now how do we get out?)
Omin: (We follow the same way we came in.)
Binwin: (... Thanks for that. Now I know exactly where to take point.)
Jim: (There is one more thing left to do here, and it's prety important for Jim.)
Omin: (The Breeding Zone?!)
Aeofel: (That sounds horrifying.)
Jim: (Do not touch anything in here except the book I need.)
Binwin: (Can we look around for a while before we get in over our heads?)
Aeofel: (Shit. Elementals.)
Binwin: (Shit Elementals? Do we have a resistance to that?)
Aeofel: (Yeah, it's an earth spell called Dwarven Fla-)
Omin: (Really guys?!)
Jim: (Okay, I figured out that there's nothing up here; we need to drop down into this lower tunnel.)
Binwin: (I thought close tunnels were bad because we risk bumping an enemy and blowing our cover.)
Jim: (Well, we have to do this fast then!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LG0upk3OlUM
The team quickly begins to scan the area, which they begin to realize is much like a maze.
Aeofel: (Spotted something.)
Binwin: (We’ve got a problem. I can’t sneak past these guys; the walls are too close.)
Jim: (Here, let me try…)
Jim: Oh bollocks.
Omin: We’re not invisible anymore! Just go!
The team hurries to their objective, pursued by all the baddies in the area.
Aeofel: It’s got to be around here!
Binwin: I’ve been pressing these buttons on the wall, maybe something happened!?
Jim: There it is!
Binwin: Now how do we get out? We can’t leave this area or else we’ll draw the entire The Pit against us.
Jim: Jim’s got it under control.
Aeofel: Town Portal? When did Jim get this?
Binwin: This is an important question. You mean we’ve been running around all over the place when we could have just used this?!
Jim: Well… Ahahaha! Victory is mine! Now we’re in Celeste.
Binwin: Finally out of there...
Omin: Forever, I hope.
Aeofel: Rewards please!
Binwin: I guess I'm last on the promotions.
Jim: Yeah. We'll get to you, don't worry.
Omin: Afraid not yet. We've been summoned again.
Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
Jim: What?! AGAIN? I can't go back down there.
Omin: ... Yeah.
Binwin: This shit has got to stop. We are being conscripted into these things.
Jim: All we wanted to do was rule our land without being killed by an angry mob. Is that so much to ask for?
Aeofel: I would also like to know how it got this far.
Omin: I don't think this is our choice. I think we are here because we've proven so well that we can handle stuff.
Binwin: But why all this?
Omin: This world is changing, Binwin. We picked a side, settled a war, and our responsibilities extend past ourselves for now.
Aeofel: Do you think it will go back to normal once this is over?
Jim: Once what is over?
Aeofel: ... They haven't told us, have they. Right.
Binwin: It can't go on forever.
Omin: Just do your job. I understand your concerns and am willing to address them.
Binwin: I still haven't had my last promotion, dammit!
Back in the Pit…
Binwin: (Knock knock?)
Jim: (Wellp, I guess no one is home. Back to the surface.)
Aeofel: (Wait.)
Omin: Oh shit! Can we distract him?
Jim: On it.
Binwin: What the hell is that in his hand?
Jim: It looks like a crossbow, but it's smaller... and it lights up.
Omin: Whatever it is, I don't want to get hit by it. Flank him!
Aeofel:
Omin: Whoa.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WD1tr-6l68
Aeofel: That's what you get for trying to shoot me. And hitting. Ouch.
Jim: We got what we came for.
Binwin: And this?
Jim: Jim has no idea what that is.
Jim: Aww, my cube!
Omin: One more mission, okay.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aa4U02lZczM
Jim: That's some pretty serious stuff, guys.
Aeofel: A tunnel system? I've not seen that except in...
Binwin: Dwarf town.
Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!