At least this means extra sleep tonight. I already took advantage of yesterday having the latest sunrise of the year (even later than midwinter, by the clock) to take the first train out to the airport for early breakfast through the rain, and back well before sunrise.
why did my dad tell me you aren't real after I discovered the boxes for all of our new toys in the garage the day after Christmas?
Oh, young Blank, the free gifts were my doing, but your father wanted you to believe that he had bought you all those wonderful toys. Once your father started taking credit for Santa's generosity towards his children, Santa assumed your father no longer needed help providing Christmas Magic for his children.
why did my dad tell me you aren't real after I discovered the boxes for all of our new toys in the garage the day after Christmas?
Oh, young Blank, the free gifts were my doing, but your father wanted you to believe that he had bought you all those wonderful toys. Once your father started taking credit for Santa's generosity towards his children, Santa assumed your father no longer needed help providing Christmas Magic for his children.
So that's why we went into crippling debt in the following years!
Wow, thanks Santa! Now I know
0
Options
#pipeCocky Stride, Musky odoursPope of Chili TownRegistered Userregular
Santa, this year for christmas can you give me the gift of no gifts?
Santa, is this finally the year I get that pony I always asked for?
Ho ho ho, Chimera! Santa can provide the pony, but you have forgotten to ask for proper fencing, shelter, and feeding equipment for the pony. Santa cannot in good conscience put the care of a living creature in the hands of a girl so thoughtless!
Santa has been assuming all this time that you expected to house the pony in your small living area. Chimera, ponies cannot flourish in such an environment!
Santa, this year for christmas can you give me the gift of no gifts?
PARADOX
#pipe, you're getting the same gift you get every year: coal. Because you are on Santa's Permanaughty list for that little act you committed as a young adult. Santa is giving you the gift of not exposing your deviant past to your friends.
Ho ho ho!
0
Options
#pipeCocky Stride, Musky odoursPope of Chili TownRegistered Userregular
Santa, what is the most requested Christmas gift, on average?
Ho ho ho, Godmode!
"A puppy."
Followed by "Please don't let daddy drink too much on Christmas morning. It's much funner when daddy doesn't hit mommy with a detached branch of our fake tree."
Santa how do you make deliveries to people under water
0
Options
HenroidMexican kicked from Immigration ThreadCentrism is Racism :3Registered Userregular
I remember back in the early / mid 90's when Penn Jillette use to do the spot promos for Comedy Central, they made one for DST where he'd repeatedly instruct listeners,
When the time hits two set your clock back to one.
And when the time hits two, set your clock back to one.
Then when the time hits two, set your clock back to one.
Santa, can you get me a working kidney for Christmas?
I've been kind of good!
Hello Fyndir! Unfortunately, none of Santa's elves match your blood type. But Santa types every new elf born into slavery service, and Santa will provide for you as soon as possible. Do not despair, Fyndir!
Posts
it's the tachyons
Ho ho ho!
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON AAAAGH
to 1976
That is true Natek, but you know what you have done these past 10 months.
But don't worry, my little medusozoa , you can still get on Santa's nice list. Sit on Santa's lap.
Ho huh hooooo!
How's it going? haven't seen you in a while. What's up? you avoiding me? Cause Terry says you are, but as we know Terry is a liar.
Ho ho oh, Melding. Santa knows what you do when you are pretending to be sleeping. But Santa knows when you're awake.
I am the night!
why did my dad tell me you aren't real after I discovered the boxes for all of our new toys in the garage the day after Christmas?
Your parents bought you that pony the first year you asked for it. You were bad, though, so they didn't give it to you.
Oh, young Blank, the free gifts were my doing, but your father wanted you to believe that he had bought you all those wonderful toys. Once your father started taking credit for Santa's generosity towards his children, Santa assumed your father no longer needed help providing Christmas Magic for his children.
Wow, thanks Santa! Now I know
PARADOX
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
Ho ho ho, Chimera! Santa can provide the pony, but you have forgotten to ask for proper fencing, shelter, and feeding equipment for the pony. Santa cannot in good conscience put the care of a living creature in the hands of a girl so thoughtless!
Santa has been assuming all this time that you expected to house the pony in your small living area. Chimera, ponies cannot flourish in such an environment!
#pipe, you're getting the same gift you get every year: coal. Because you are on Santa's Permanaughty list for that little act you committed as a young adult. Santa is giving you the gift of not exposing your deviant past to your friends.
Ho ho ho!
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
Santa loves you very much, pipe. But Jesus forgives. Santa does not.
Ho ho ho, Godmode!
"A puppy."
Followed by "Please don't let daddy drink too much on Christmas morning. It's much funner when daddy doesn't hit mommy with a detached branch of our fake tree."
I've been kind of good!
When the time hits two set your clock back to one.
And when the time hits two, set your clock back to one.
Then when the time hits two, set your clock back to one.
I was easily amused as a kid.
Hello Fyndir! Unfortunately, none of Santa's elves match your blood type. But Santa types every new elf born into slavery service, and Santa will provide for you as soon as possible. Do not despair, Fyndir!
Ho ho ho!
Ho ho ho, Mersanta mode!
Aneurhythmia, this is why you never get hardly anything that you want for Christmas!
Ho ho ho!