Seriously Santa, i've been sitting on shit package for over a month now, either come get it or i'm calling the fed. I can't get caught with this again.
Seriously Santa, i've been sitting on shit package for over a month now, either come get it or i'm calling the fed. I can't get caught with this again.
Hello Melding,
Santa's eraser is poised over your name on the Nice List, young lady.
Seriously Santa, i've been sitting on shit package for over a month now, either come get it or i'm calling the fed. I can't get caught with this again.
Hello Melding,
Santa's eraser is poised over your name on the Nice List, young lady.
Santa, do you and UPS ever work in conjunction to help deliver presents?
Hello Bucketman!
Santa is feeling his age! Santa's diabeetus make travelling long distances. Fortunately, Santa has daily pickup with UPS. It's not cheap, but it works.
Seriously Santa, i've been sitting on shit package for over a month now, either come get it or i'm calling the fed. I can't get caught with this again.
Hello Melding,
Santa's eraser is poised over your name on the Nice List, young lady.
HO HO HO
well see that's your first clerical error
Now now, Lovely Bastard. Don't try to drag others down with you.
Seriously Santa, i've been sitting on shit package for over a month now, either come get it or i'm calling the fed. I can't get caught with this again.
Hello Melding,
Santa's eraser is poised over your name on the Nice List, young lady.
HO HO HO
well see that's your first clerical error
Now now, Lovely Bastard. Don't try to drag others down with you.
Ho ho ho!!!
Well to be fair, he died like 300 years before you were even born.
So i mean, bible doesn't mention me neither, but to say Jesus doesn't accept my existence is silly. Come on Santa, you're better then this.
P.S. I flushed the stash. It'd had gone bad anyway, so really keeping it ain't doing any of us any favours.
Santa, is this finally the year I get that pony I always asked for?
Ho ho ho, Chimera! Santa can provide the pony, but you have forgotten to ask for proper fencing, shelter, and feeding equipment for the pony. Santa cannot in good conscience put the care of a living creature in the hands of a girl so thoughtless!
Santa has been assuming all this time that you expected to house the pony in your small living area. Chimera, ponies cannot flourish in such an environment!
Even if I let it eat from the leaves of my desk fern and house ficus? It doesn't have to be a big pony.... just maybe one of those little miniature ones. I want to name her Professor Snuggles. :c
Seriously Santa, i've been sitting on shit package for over a month now, either come get it or i'm calling the fed. I can't get caught with this again.
Hello Melding,
Santa's eraser is poised over your name on the Nice List, young lady.
HO HO HO
well see that's your first clerical error
Now now, Lovely Bastard. Don't try to drag others down with you.
Ho ho ho!!!
Well to be fair, he died like 300 years before you were even born.
So i mean, bible doesn't mention me neither, but to say Jesus doesn't accept my existence is silly. Come on Santa, you're better then this.
P.S. I flushed the stash. It'd had gone bad anyway, so really keeping it ain't doing any of us any favours.
Ho ho ho! Santa is timeless. Santa is the beginning and the end.
Posts
I fucking love this post.
Why hello there young man. Santa thinks you are a lovely boy but wishes that your name was not so vulgar. Bastards rarely get to be on the Nice List.
HO HO HO!
What voice should I be reading your posts in?
Santa loves you more than Jesus loves you, Natek.
Ho ho ho!
WHY MUST I CONTINUALLY BE PUNISHED BY MY MOTHER'S INDISCRETION
never! I got more beers to drink!
Hello Blank,
Little known fact, Santa voiced Big Mouth Billy Bass!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRtu8FgYIAU
HO HO HO
How come you ignored my letter when I was 8 years old to make my parents happy again and get back together?
Hello Melding,
Santa's eraser is poised over your name on the Nice List, young lady.
HO HO HO
well see that's your first clerical error
Hello Bucketman!
Santa is feeling his age! Santa's diabeetus make travelling long distances. Fortunately, Santa has daily pickup with UPS. It's not cheap, but it works.
Ho ho ho!!
Hello Henroid,
Santa was trying to figure out the most polite way of telling you that the break up was your fault.
Ho ho ho!!
Hello Natek,
Santa doesn't hate Jesus. It's just that Santa only believe in you, if you believe in Santa!
Nowhere in the Bible does Jesus mention Santa. Jesus did not believe in Santa.
Ho ho ho!!
Now now, Lovely Bastard. Don't try to drag others down with you.
Ho ho ho!!!
I spend all year saving it up for you.
One year for Christmas I asked for the transforming Greymon Digimon action figure but I got lame Garurumon instead
why do you hate me
well I hate jesus for you, santa
because I know you just gotta be all nice in front of the kiddies
can't be sayin' you hate jesus and such
Hello Chico,
Santa is lactose intolerant. You should have listened to Tim Allen.
Ho ho ho!!
Santa needs to do better than waiting 20 years! You're losing your touch, old man!
Hello Blank!
Santa's elves made a little mistake it seems.
Beatings Re-education is in order.
HO HO HO
Well to be fair, he died like 300 years before you were even born.
So i mean, bible doesn't mention me neither, but to say Jesus doesn't accept my existence is silly. Come on Santa, you're better then this.
P.S. I flushed the stash. It'd had gone bad anyway, so really keeping it ain't doing any of us any favours.
why did you never bring me happiness
Holy shit that's awesome
Even if I let it eat from the leaves of my desk fern and house ficus? It doesn't have to be a big pony.... just maybe one of those little miniature ones. I want to name her Professor Snuggles. :c
Hello Trippy,
Ho ho ho! Santa is saving you from a horrible life-ending injury by denying the knowledge of Kung-fu.
Lovely Bastard. Santa can only give presents that exist in our reality.
Ho ho ho!
Ho ho ho! Santa is timeless. Santa is the beginning and the end.
for your punishment, bring me a beer
Santa would have kept that secret from you forever if you had kept yourself off the Naughty List!
HO HO HO!
Sorry, like Santa, i can only deliver things to legitimate children.
Thems the rules.
Then how are you starting to feel your age?
Are you saying that the end is nigh and we should all repent?