I don't know if it's just because I also don't use a smartphone, but I don't understand why you'd look down on someone for not having one. Hell, maybe they'll be more likely to pay attention to you during a date and not fuck around on their phone.
They are also more likely to be Luddites or poor and that would mean awkward times trying to compare graphene monocles or enjoying robo-falconing, the sport of cyborg kings.
But she's using the phone to answer messages on OKC. That's...odd. I only got a smart phone recently, but I at least had a messaging phone with a slide-out keyboard, and I never used it to do anything Internet related. I'd just wait until I was on my iPod or laptop. That's a bit odd.
Maybe she's just really impatient? I dunno, I get really excited when I get a good conversation going
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NocrenLt Futz, Back in ActionNorth CarolinaRegistered Userregular
Well, I'll make sure to learn all I can about this if I go on a date with her and report back to ya'll
But she's using the phone to answer messages on OKC. That's...odd. I only got a smart phone recently, but I at least had a messaging phone with a slide-out keyboard, and I never used it to do anything Internet related. I'd just wait until I was on my iPod or laptop. That's a bit odd.
That does sound odd, but I still think there are a million other, better things to shoot someone down over. At least try one date to see if she's actually some sort of cave troll or something.
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NocrenLt Futz, Back in ActionNorth CarolinaRegistered Userregular
But she's using the phone to answer messages on OKC. That's...odd. I only got a smart phone recently, but I at least had a messaging phone with a slide-out keyboard, and I never used it to do anything Internet related. I'd just wait until I was on my iPod or laptop. That's a bit odd.
That does sound odd, but I still think there are a million other, better things to shoot someone down over. At least try one date to see if she's actually some sort of cave troll or something.
Don't worry guys. I try things at least 3 times before I decide if its something I like/don't like.
(Reason: "maybe someone involved was having a bad day. Maybe someone else was having a bad day. Ok dammit 3 times in not a coincidence.")
But she's using the phone to answer messages on OKC. That's...odd. I only got a smart phone recently, but I at least had a messaging phone with a slide-out keyboard, and I never used it to do anything Internet related. I'd just wait until I was on my iPod or laptop. That's a bit odd.
Maybe she's just really impatient? I dunno, I get really excited when I get a good conversation going
Maybe, but doing anything internet related on a keypad phone is awkward at the very least. Ah well. It's not terrible, just odd.
But she's using the phone to answer messages on OKC. That's...odd. I only got a smart phone recently, but I at least had a messaging phone with a slide-out keyboard, and I never used it to do anything Internet related. I'd just wait until I was on my iPod or laptop. That's a bit odd.
Maybe she's just really impatient? I dunno, I get really excited when I get a good conversation going
Maybe, but doing anything internet related on a keypad phone is awkward at the very least. Ah well. It's not terrible, just odd.
It certainly says a lot for her ability to put up with annoying, hair pulling, mind bogglingly frustrating bullshit. That's definitely a trait I look for in a significant other.
Though all of ya'll's (dear god is that even a word? Some Texas-isms are hard to break.) concern is nice.
As a former Texan, a free grammar lesson:
Contractions are combinations between two distinct words: "does" + "not" = "doesn't", "he" plus "is" = "he's"
They are not combined at the apostrophe; the apostrophe deletes vowel sounds in order to make the combined word more pronounceable and reflect the verbal slurring that results when speaking aloud.
Since "y'all" is a compound between "you" and "all," the apostrophe could replace the "a" in "all," but that would leave you with "you'll," which is already a different word and a different pronunciation. Instead, the apostrophe replaces the "ou" in "you", resulting in "y'all." Placing the apostrophe in the middle of the "all" is like writing the word "doe'snt."
This concludes y'all's grammar lesson courtesy of my upbringing. It is the only thing I am even remotely proud to have kept from that state.
By Jove, twas nay privy to myself that not possessing a difference engine equipped audio telegraph would render unto me a black mark in courtship and box socials.
In all seriousness, it is useful since it can hook into communication services besides audio and texting to say nothing of Google maps being useful if you're lost on the way to the meetup location or being able to make a reservation with a few taps through opentable and the like.
So I was all kind of at a low point because my dates are going no where, then I message someone on POF (which I just created today) that I recognized through one of our mutual friends. Basically I was like, "Oh fancy seeing you here, good luck with what you're looking for!" and he responded with, "oh haha I was wondering when I would see someone here I recognized," then messaged me again and was like, "hey, wanna give this a try? I totally understand if you don't want to..."
Now we're planning out our first date. & he added me as a friend on Facebook. :P
@Nitsua I would definitely take some new pictures (and in any case, not use both of the ones taken of you in the car, they're almost identical).
I'd also suggest avoiding negative statements. Several times in your profile you say something like "I like all sorts of [x], except for [specific examples]." Because the first part is so general, what sticks out in the mind is the second part of the statement, which is specific and negative. "I love music, except for rap" tells the reader you really dislike rap but it doesn't tell them anything positive about you (everybody likes music). And unless you're so violently anti-rap (or whatever) that you wouldn't date somebody who liked it, you risk putting people like that off because you've insulted something they like. People will respond much better to passion than dislikes. "I like most genres of music, but especially love listening to rock and love songs" is a better way of phrasing that sort of thing.
Your self-summary feels a little rambly--try moving some of these things to elsewhere in your profile. For example, "I'm really good at listening" can go in the "things you're good at" section, which seems a little anemic right now anyways. I would delete this entire phrase: "so don't assume that I won't understand certain things because I'm of the opposite sex" because it's weirdly accusatory and the sentence works fine without it. I would also delete the stuff about how you used to be shy--if you're not shy now, why does anybody need to know it? Clarify what you mean there--do you mean, "I'm gregarious and will talk to anybody," or "I'm quiet but once you get to know me I can talk for hours" or what?
Finally, I suggest giving your self-summary a topic sentence. If this is the only sentence in your profile someone reads before deciding whether to continue, you want them to get a decent idea of who you are and what you're about. "I'm a friendly, sensitive guy who loves the outdoors, is great with computers and is looking for someone to have long, meaningful conversations with." Or something along those lines. Then the rest of your self-summary can be delving into those in more detail like you do currently.
Do you mind if I straight out (or close enough) steal that line there that you mention as a summary? I may use something else, but that actually sums me up pretty well.
Okay, I fixed it up a bit more. How is it now? I spruced it up with different pictures and I hope to get a few new ones taken soon. This is the link if you don't see it from a few pages back: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Nitsua1216?cf=profile
Taking a look at the edit, the pictures look good now (a nice variance and your main pic is the best of them), and it reads better overall. The only other content suggestion I have is to echo what somebody else said upthread, under "What I'm doing with my life," you should put what you want to go back to college for.
Edit: Now to find people to message. I haven't been grabbed by some people as I once was. I struck out a bit on my first two dates from this earlier this month and took a small break. May need to look at things a different day with a different mindset.
I was really glad to find that picture... I get a lot of good comments when I wear that shirt and didn't realize I had a picture wearing it.
Well I made a second profile
Where in it I give a vague description of how I am the slenderman and what I do with my free time yes I really did alter my real photos to look like him
sadly I got a lot more mail than I have in the life of my real account
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AstaerethIn the belly of the beastRegistered Userregular
Ugh. Randomly found an attractive girl in my area, profile is awesome, she's exactly my type, questions show we're pretty compatible... until I get to:
"Would you date a bisexual person?"
"No"
Well, fuck.
I sent her a message anyway to be like, "what the hell, why do you fail" but I don't expect a reply.
I suggested to my friend that this girl was being bigoted, but my friend disagreed... What do you guys think?
Well I made a second profile
Where in it I give a vague description of how I am the slenderman and what I do with my free time yes I really did alter my real photos to look like him
sadly I got a lot more mail than I have in the life of my real account
Because that's clever and interesting, or because people want to get down with the Slenderman? One of those is terrifying.
there are people who think bi folks have a hard time being monogamous.
still sort of bigoted but... maybe less awful than "ewww gays" bigoted. How are her other lgbt/social answers?
edit: I'm somewhat bi and don't feel it needs to be a deal breaker all by itself, but it would be a pretty massive red flag.
I didn't notice any other specific LGBT answers, but she was pretty sexually liberal and an atheist as well, things which (I think) tend to track with LGBT positivity. It was fairly surprising to see the flat-out no.
It might not be a deal breaker for me if I wasn't bi.
uh.. get one good picture of yourself looking into the camera and smiling. Use that as your first photo.
get rid of the backlit one in a suit. maybe drop some of the group ones, and focus on the fantastic stuff like the rock climbing.
the demitre martin quote doesn't do much for you. atlas shrugged is icky. the bit about ender's game... I get what you are doing there, but it is not going to make sense to a lot of people.
your what I am doing... could be a little more straight forward. we know why you work. make that a little simpler. the last paragraph is good material and could maybe have more detail.
I sort of like your profile, very positive. Playful without being self depreciating. it could be a little more focused.
you have some typos, "butl", and the punctuation isn't exactly perfect. maybe like use a dash before the second or in your "message me", where you talk about tennis.
Anyone mind taking a look at my profile? I'm honestly not sure what I'm doing wrong but I have zero success.
okcupid.com/profile/brownchiclets
Your picture in a suit should be your main picture. It's the one where we get the clearest view of you. Remove all pictures where we can't see you or tell who you are: the marathon running picture, the two rock climbing pictures, and the Back to the Future picture (and it pains me to say that because I love BTTF, but I'm looking at it and honestly can't tell where you are in there, if you're even in there at all).
[EDIT: Or better yet, like redx said, get some new pictures where we can see you clearly looking at the camera and smiling.]
specially -> especially
What you're doing with your life:
Paragraph 1: Delete. Remove quote from Demitri Martin that tells us nothing about you (also, he's like the black hole of humour. He absorbs funny from his immediate environment and never allows it to escape, leaving the universe around him a cold desolate humourless place.)
Paragraph 2: Major revamp. You say you have a boring 9-to-5 job (and you actually use the word "boring"), then say you'd rather talk about what you do outside of work. And do not talk about what you do outside of work.
Paragraph 3: is where you actually finally start talking about interesting stuff you do with your life. Too late by then.
To fix it up: Rephrase paragraph 2 to talk about your job in a positive (or at least neutral) sentence, then jump directly to talking about the fun stuff you do outside of work (elements from paragraph 3). Do not call your job or career or life boring, and do not introduce that you're interested in telling us about what you're doing with your life now.
P.S.: Agricola is an amazing board game. Move closer to me so we can play!
I’m really good at
Empetath -> is not a word. I'm not sure if it's meant to be a joke or if you just suck as spelling... better fix it.
Surely you can think of a better example of how you're great at listening to others than "if someone in your family is sick"? Maybe something positive or funny?
First thing people notice:
high stake poker games.. -> high stakes poker games...
I been getting -> I've been getting
Remove "weirdly enough", or put it at the end, not at the beginning where it makes the rest negative.
Favourites:
Holy fuck that's a long section. Like, equal to everything else in your profile so far. I'm not reading that. Trim it down.
Things you couldn't live without:
4)Challenges
5)Politics
Detail, explain, give something as a conversation hook. Politics is borderline ok I guess, but Challenges? "Hey dude, you like challenges? I like challenges too!"
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Empath -> So Empetath earlier really was a typo, not an odd attempt at a joke... Dude, if you misspell your own superhero name, I don't even know why I'm trying here.
Typical Friday:
I have the following: -> I have DONE the following
Seriously, spell-check this bitch.
As for the activities, I'd recommend one or two lines about how active you are, rather than a dry list.
I saw your profile and it looked pretty awesome to me... saw just a single misspelling of when you put Empath the first time. Depends on who you are trying to draw in. Your profile doesn't start seriously and the picture you use goes along with that a number of people may be turned off by how boyish that is. Others may find it cute. You get further in and the serious starts up, but not everyone goes past the opening part.
I don't know... it makes me think you're a fun guy. If that is what you as re going for, stay with it. You may want a bit more about yourself rather than the funny for your opening however. Maybe a picture of just you as your main.
First time critiquing here, so you can take what I say with a grain of salt... just saying what I see though.
I disagree about changing your profile picture. The current, with the guns in the pool, attracts more attention. If someone wants to see how you look they can see the whole collection of images by clicking on the album. The thumbnail should be the attention grabber.
I'd ditch a few pictures though. #3 is too dark, for example. In #4 you look tiny! And although you're rock climing in #7 (cool!) the pose isn't flattering The climbing after that one is better
Can't really see anything in that group picture. Last one is good
Self-summary is way too nerdy, that might be what's off-putting You're not on PA there.
there are people who think bi folks have a hard time being monogamous.
still sort of bigoted but... maybe less awful than "ewww gays" bigoted. How are her other lgbt/social answers?
edit: I'm somewhat bi and don't feel it needs to be a deal breaker all by itself, but it would be a pretty massive red flag.
Some folks have had really, really bad experience with bi folks that did have a hard time being monogamous. Or that concluded that they were really gay well into the relationship. I've been around both and it can definitely lead to some "once is more than enough" feelings among even the most commie-hippy folks I know.
Ugh. Randomly found an attractive girl in my area, profile is awesome, she's exactly my type, questions show we're pretty compatible... until I get to:
"Would you date a bisexual person?"
"No"
Well, fuck.
I sent her a message anyway to be like, "what the hell, why do you fail" but I don't expect a reply.
I suggested to my friend that this girl was being bigoted, but my friend disagreed... What do you guys think?
From the answer to that question? No. If she says she hates gays or thinks bisexuals are lesser people, then yeah, that would be bigoted. Having a dating preference doesn't make someone bigoted, though.
Ugh. Randomly found an attractive girl in my area, profile is awesome, she's exactly my type, questions show we're pretty compatible... until I get to:
"Would you date a bisexual person?"
"No"
Well, fuck.
I sent her a message anyway to be like, "what the hell, why do you fail" but I don't expect a reply.
I suggested to my friend that this girl was being bigoted, but my friend disagreed... What do you guys think?
From the answer to that question? No. If she says she hates gays or thinks bisexuals are lesser people, then yeah, that would be bigoted. Having a dating preference doesn't make someone bigoted, though.
Yea, if that was her only question expressing such a opinion, I would have let it slide. She might not like the idea of having the entire local populace as potential competition for your affections. Or she just might not like the idea of you leaving her for another dude. If the rest of her profile was as awesome as you say, then getting confrontational about a random question is not doing you any favours.
How is leaving someone for someone else, or being monogamous, different for bisexuals?
It is just a bunch of bias, particularly reinforced in movies for a time. "Oh hey, if we want to make the villain really devious and villany, we can make them bisexual!" And it works.
Bisexuality has a bunch of stupid baggage that has nothing to do with what it is, sexual preference.
+1
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NocrenLt Futz, Back in ActionNorth CarolinaRegistered Userregular
there are people who think bi folks have a hard time being monogamous.
still sort of bigoted but... maybe less awful than "ewww gays" bigoted. How are her other lgbt/social answers?
edit: I'm somewhat bi and don't feel it needs to be a deal breaker all by itself, but it would be a pretty massive red flag.
I'm kinda like this. In my (very limited) experience, the majority of bi women I've known have never been in a monogamous relationship. Either poly or just never settled. Haven't met to many bi guys and I'm not sure if I qualify or not...
there are people who think bi folks have a hard time being monogamous.
still sort of bigoted but... maybe less awful than "ewww gays" bigoted. How are her other lgbt/social answers?
edit: I'm somewhat bi and don't feel it needs to be a deal breaker all by itself, but it would be a pretty massive red flag.
I'm kinda like this. In my (very limited) experience, the majority of bi women I've known have never been in a monogamous relationship. Either poly or just never settled. Haven't met to many bi guys and I'm not sure if I qualify or not...
I'd chalk that up to bad luck though. I've known and dated a few and some were monogamous, some weren't. Just like straight folk. The paranoia that "they're going to be attracted to more people" may make sense in numbers, but it really doesn't in practice.
That said, this question does bother me when I see it answered as 'No'. But like others have mentioned (and as a good general rule) if that's the only off putting one, it should slide. Only when flipping through questions and you notice a pattern (or high importance) is it safe to make judgment calls on it.
How is leaving someone for someone else, or being monogamous, different for bisexuals?
It is just a bunch of bias, particularly reinforced in movies for a time. "Oh hey, if we want to make the villain really devious and villany, we can make them bisexual!" And it works.
Bisexuality has a bunch of stupid baggage that has nothing to do with what it is, sexual preference.
it is sort of a sexual preference that people display more when they are young and figuring shit out about themselves.
For some realish reasons, straight and gay people may have had poor experiences with and expectations about them.
I sort see some of it more as people being human than being awful. It is all bad in the sense that they are making decisions about a whole group based on limited experience or baseless stereotypes, but I have a hard time seeing some of it as the same hateful othering that causes homophobia and transphobia.
so while I personally would not seek to date someone who was not into bi folk, I don't have the same repulsion for the I do for other less than tolerant people.
It's a frustratingly common stance. :P And frustratingly irrational. I am sometimes less annoyed by bigots on queer issues because at least they can be consistent.
What are people going to notice about bisexuals if they have no exposure? Likely not much except for the stuff they can't miss, like someone being with a man one time and then a woman another. "OHHHHHH, bisexual!"
What does a bisexual in a steady relationship look like? Not a bisexual. They're either straight or gay, on the surface.
So you're going to see only the bisexuals that flip, and the more they flip the more you're going to notice.
You see those bisexuals and it forms a bias. If you're going to discriminate based on that bias alone, that's bigotry.
And bisexuals have to constantly fight these biases it is frustrating as all fuck.
Posts
They are also more likely to be Luddites or poor and that would mean awkward times trying to compare graphene monocles or enjoying robo-falconing, the sport of cyborg kings.
Steam Profile
3DS: 3454-0268-5595 Battle.net: SteelAngel#1772
wish list
Steam wishlist
Etsy wishlist
Just so long as it is hunting robot birds. Otherwise it is kinda assholish and mean.
Maybe she's just really impatient? I dunno, I get really excited when I get a good conversation going
You are only jealous of robot birds, cruel meatbag.
Don't worry guys. I try things at least 3 times before I decide if its something I like/don't like.
(Reason: "maybe someone involved was having a bad day. Maybe someone else was having a bad day. Ok dammit 3 times in not a coincidence.")
Maybe, but doing anything internet related on a keypad phone is awkward at the very least. Ah well. It's not terrible, just odd.
wish list
Steam wishlist
Etsy wishlist
It certainly says a lot for her ability to put up with annoying, hair pulling, mind bogglingly frustrating bullshit. That's definitely a trait I look for in a significant other.
edit: or casual sex partner.
Edit: not that it even matters, since I'm not the one talking to her. haha. Nocren's the only one who has to figure her out. :-P
wish list
Steam wishlist
Etsy wishlist
Which is to say, none at all.
As a former Texan, a free grammar lesson:
Contractions are combinations between two distinct words: "does" + "not" = "doesn't", "he" plus "is" = "he's"
They are not combined at the apostrophe; the apostrophe deletes vowel sounds in order to make the combined word more pronounceable and reflect the verbal slurring that results when speaking aloud.
Since "y'all" is a compound between "you" and "all," the apostrophe could replace the "a" in "all," but that would leave you with "you'll," which is already a different word and a different pronunciation. Instead, the apostrophe replaces the "ou" in "you", resulting in "y'all." Placing the apostrophe in the middle of the "all" is like writing the word "doe'snt."
This concludes y'all's grammar lesson courtesy of my upbringing. It is the only thing I am even remotely proud to have kept from that state.
In all seriousness, it is useful since it can hook into communication services besides audio and texting to say nothing of Google maps being useful if you're lost on the way to the meetup location or being able to make a reservation with a few taps through opentable and the like.
Steam Profile
3DS: 3454-0268-5595 Battle.net: SteelAngel#1772
Now we're planning out our first date. & he added me as a friend on Facebook. :P
Do you mind if I straight out (or close enough) steal that line there that you mention as a summary? I may use something else, but that actually sums me up pretty well.
Taking a look at the edit, the pictures look good now (a nice variance and your main pic is the best of them), and it reads better overall. The only other content suggestion I have is to echo what somebody else said upthread, under "What I'm doing with my life," you should put what you want to go back to college for.
Edit: Now to find people to message. I haven't been grabbed by some people as I once was. I struck out a bit on my first two dates from this earlier this month and took a small break. May need to look at things a different day with a different mindset.
I was really glad to find that picture... I get a lot of good comments when I wear that shirt and didn't realize I had a picture wearing it.
Where in it I give a vague description of how I am the slenderman and what I do with my free time yes I really did alter my real photos to look like him
sadly I got a lot more mail than I have in the life of my real account
"Would you date a bisexual person?"
"No"
Well, fuck.
I sent her a message anyway to be like, "what the hell, why do you fail" but I don't expect a reply.
I suggested to my friend that this girl was being bigoted, but my friend disagreed... What do you guys think?
Because that's clever and interesting, or because people want to get down with the Slenderman? One of those is terrifying.
still sort of bigoted but... maybe less awful than "ewww gays" bigoted. How are her other lgbt/social answers?
edit: I'm somewhat bi and don't feel it needs to be a deal breaker all by itself, but it would be a pretty massive red flag.
Coming from Nasioc where Falconing has a much different connotation, this conversation is tops.
okcupid.com/profile/brownchiclets
I didn't notice any other specific LGBT answers, but she was pretty sexually liberal and an atheist as well, things which (I think) tend to track with LGBT positivity. It was fairly surprising to see the flat-out no.
It might not be a deal breaker for me if I wasn't bi.
get rid of the backlit one in a suit. maybe drop some of the group ones, and focus on the fantastic stuff like the rock climbing.
the demitre martin quote doesn't do much for you. atlas shrugged is icky. the bit about ender's game... I get what you are doing there, but it is not going to make sense to a lot of people.
your what I am doing... could be a little more straight forward. we know why you work. make that a little simpler. the last paragraph is good material and could maybe have more detail.
I sort of like your profile, very positive. Playful without being self depreciating. it could be a little more focused.
you have some typos, "butl", and the punctuation isn't exactly perfect. maybe like use a dash before the second or in your "message me", where you talk about tennis.
Your picture in a suit should be your main picture. It's the one where we get the clearest view of you. Remove all pictures where we can't see you or tell who you are: the marathon running picture, the two rock climbing pictures, and the Back to the Future picture (and it pains me to say that because I love BTTF, but I'm looking at it and honestly can't tell where you are in there, if you're even in there at all).
[EDIT: Or better yet, like redx said, get some new pictures where we can see you clearly looking at the camera and smiling.]
specially -> especially
What you're doing with your life:
Paragraph 1: Delete. Remove quote from Demitri Martin that tells us nothing about you (also, he's like the black hole of humour. He absorbs funny from his immediate environment and never allows it to escape, leaving the universe around him a cold desolate humourless place.)
Paragraph 2: Major revamp. You say you have a boring 9-to-5 job (and you actually use the word "boring"), then say you'd rather talk about what you do outside of work. And do not talk about what you do outside of work.
Paragraph 3: is where you actually finally start talking about interesting stuff you do with your life. Too late by then.
To fix it up: Rephrase paragraph 2 to talk about your job in a positive (or at least neutral) sentence, then jump directly to talking about the fun stuff you do outside of work (elements from paragraph 3). Do not call your job or career or life boring, and do not introduce that you're interested in telling us about what you're doing with your life now.
P.S.: Agricola is an amazing board game. Move closer to me so we can play!
I’m really good at
Empetath -> is not a word. I'm not sure if it's meant to be a joke or if you just suck as spelling... better fix it.
Surely you can think of a better example of how you're great at listening to others than "if someone in your family is sick"? Maybe something positive or funny?
First thing people notice:
high stake poker games.. -> high stakes poker games...
I been getting -> I've been getting
Remove "weirdly enough", or put it at the end, not at the beginning where it makes the rest negative.
Favourites:
Holy fuck that's a long section. Like, equal to everything else in your profile so far. I'm not reading that. Trim it down.
Things you couldn't live without:
4)Challenges
5)Politics
Detail, explain, give something as a conversation hook. Politics is borderline ok I guess, but Challenges? "Hey dude, you like challenges? I like challenges too!"
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Empath -> So Empetath earlier really was a typo, not an odd attempt at a joke... Dude, if you misspell your own superhero name, I don't even know why I'm trying here.
Typical Friday:
I have the following: -> I have DONE the following
Seriously, spell-check this bitch.
As for the activities, I'd recommend one or two lines about how active you are, rather than a dry list.
I don't know... it makes me think you're a fun guy. If that is what you as re going for, stay with it. You may want a bit more about yourself rather than the funny for your opening however. Maybe a picture of just you as your main.
First time critiquing here, so you can take what I say with a grain of salt... just saying what I see though.
I'd ditch a few pictures though. #3 is too dark, for example. In #4 you look tiny! And although you're rock climing in #7 (cool!) the pose isn't flattering
Can't really see anything in that group picture. Last one is good
Self-summary is way too nerdy, that might be what's off-putting
Some folks have had really, really bad experience with bi folks that did have a hard time being monogamous. Or that concluded that they were really gay well into the relationship. I've been around both and it can definitely lead to some "once is more than enough" feelings among even the most commie-hippy folks I know.
Steam Profile
3DS: 3454-0268-5595 Battle.net: SteelAngel#1772
Yea, if that was her only question expressing such a opinion, I would have let it slide. She might not like the idea of having the entire local populace as potential competition for your affections. Or she just might not like the idea of you leaving her for another dude. If the rest of her profile was as awesome as you say, then getting confrontational about a random question is not doing you any favours.
How is leaving someone for someone else, or being monogamous, different for bisexuals?
It is just a bunch of bias, particularly reinforced in movies for a time. "Oh hey, if we want to make the villain really devious and villany, we can make them bisexual!" And it works.
Bisexuality has a bunch of stupid baggage that has nothing to do with what it is, sexual preference.
I'm kinda like this. In my (very limited) experience, the majority of bi women I've known have never been in a monogamous relationship. Either poly or just never settled. Haven't met to many bi guys and I'm not sure if I qualify or not...
I'd chalk that up to bad luck though. I've known and dated a few and some were monogamous, some weren't. Just like straight folk. The paranoia that "they're going to be attracted to more people" may make sense in numbers, but it really doesn't in practice.
That said, this question does bother me when I see it answered as 'No'. But like others have mentioned (and as a good general rule) if that's the only off putting one, it should slide. Only when flipping through questions and you notice a pattern (or high importance) is it safe to make judgment calls on it.
it is sort of a sexual preference that people display more when they are young and figuring shit out about themselves.
For some realish reasons, straight and gay people may have had poor experiences with and expectations about them.
I sort see some of it more as people being human than being awful. It is all bad in the sense that they are making decisions about a whole group based on limited experience or baseless stereotypes, but I have a hard time seeing some of it as the same hateful othering that causes homophobia and transphobia.
so while I personally would not seek to date someone who was not into bi folk, I don't have the same repulsion for the I do for other less than tolerant people.
It's a frustratingly common stance. :P And frustratingly irrational. I am sometimes less annoyed by bigots on queer issues because at least they can be consistent.
What are people going to notice about bisexuals if they have no exposure? Likely not much except for the stuff they can't miss, like someone being with a man one time and then a woman another. "OHHHHHH, bisexual!"
What does a bisexual in a steady relationship look like? Not a bisexual. They're either straight or gay, on the surface.
So you're going to see only the bisexuals that flip, and the more they flip the more you're going to notice.
You see those bisexuals and it forms a bias. If you're going to discriminate based on that bias alone, that's bigotry.
And bisexuals have to constantly fight these biases it is frustrating as all fuck.