MARCH 2ND, 2015. 0500 HOURS.
OPERATION FROZEN HYMN
MUNICH, GERMANY
...BEGIN MISSION RECORDER PLAYBACK...
DIRECTOR: Delta, report status. DELTA-1 "Vegeta": Status yellow. LZ is clear. DIRECTOR: Copy that. Proceed with sweep & clear. Also, Delta-1, I have special mission parameters for you: if you happen to come across any Bratwursts, I'm going to need you to collect a large sample. DELTA-1 "Vegeta": ...Sir? Director: Just do it. DELTA-1 "Vegeta": ...Roger that.
DELTA-4 "Notorious": Those are some nice TVs. DELTA-1 "Vegeta": ...Eh, I guess. Who even watches those things anymore? ...Woah, HQ, I'm getting some serious headset feedback here. You still read me? DIRECTOR: Just barely, Delta-1. We're going to analyze and filter out the noise...
DIRECTOR: ...Lab thinks it might be another one of those ET gel canisters, Delta. Check it out. DELTA-1 "Vegeta": Copy that.
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": Contact!
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": ...Shit. I see the canister, but I lost visual on the ETs. DELTA-4 "Notorious": I'm moving in to back you up, Vegeta. Beth, take the rookie into the store and get ready to flank 'em.
DELTA-2 "Bethryn": Bethryn. Jesus. DELTA-5 "Anubis": 'The rookie'? Shove it up your ass.
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": I've got movement! Engaging with sidearm!
[Gunfire]
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": Jesus! What the Hell is this thing loaded with, standard-issue BB? They just bounce right off!
[Unknown Weapon Discharge]
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": MotherFUCK! DELTA-5 "Anubis": Chill, cowboy. 'The Rookie's got it.
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": Nice toss, rookie. DELTA-5 "Anubis": Go fuck yourself.
DELTA-2 "Bethryn": I'm moving to secure the canister. DELTA-1 "Vegeta": Hold-up, Bethryn. We don't where the other--
DELTA-2 "Bethryn": Oh, I think I know where the other one is.
DELTA-2 "Bethryn": Area clear.
DIRECTOR: Delta, we've got another reading on exotic materials in your mission area. Just stay frosty and keep doing what you've been doing. DELTA-1 "Vegeta": Copy that, HQ. Let's move, Delta.
DELTA-5 "Anubis": Try to keep pace, chunky. DELTA-4 "Notorious": ...Girl, YOU try hauling ass with this Goddamn rocket launcher strapped to your--
DELTA-5 "Anubis": Contact!
DELTA-5 "Anubis": ...I see the canister...
DELTA-5 "Anubis": ...But my angle on ET is no good. DELTA-1 "Vegeta": Pin 'em back, Delta. Take firing positions.
DELTA-4 "Notorious": What the fuck is that? DELTA-1 "Vegeta": You getting this, HQ? DIRECTOR: Copy, Delta... [inaudible]... hold on...
DIRECTOR: ...Lab thinks it's some kind of KE barrier, Delta. Recommend shooting at the ET at it's source if you can. DELTA-1 "Vegeta": ...Ack. I don't have an angle on that one...
DIRECTOR: ..what? [inaudible] ...calm down you fucking [inaudible] ...'restraint'? you want to lecture about 'restraint', you can do it on your own to Delta's faces when they get back to HQ
DELTA-4 "Notorious": Zone is mopped, HQ. We've got ourselves a sample from the canister-- DELTA-1 "Vegeta": Notorious, what's that in your... oh shit. DIRECTOR: Problem, Delta? DELTA-1 "Vegeta": We've secured our Bratwursts, HQ. DELTA-4 "Notorious": 'Our' Bratwursts? Ah Hell no. You can find your own Goddamn--
DELTA-5 "Anubis": CONTACT! CONTACT!
DELTA-5 "Anubis": I've got no angle! DELTA-1 "Vegeta": Well, let's see if i can get one.
Not to make suggestions above my own station or anything, but should we have the option of responding to an incident in the United Kingdom, I request we secure some Tetley's tea.
So... the inexperienced Rookie got the most contacts?
I shall only assume that my fellow team members didn't have my enthusiasm for engaging the alien menace instead of just sending me out first to let the fresh meat take the first plasma shots.
The Lab completed work today on what it's calling 'Meld': the gel substance we've found stowed in ET canisters. Some kind of bio-mechanical paste...
They think we could use it to graft volunteers onto robotic heavy weapons platforms and / or develop radical bio-molecular enhancements. XCOM management is still debating both the merits and ethics of these potential applications; I'm on the fence, but engineering has shown me schematics of the weapons platform they intend to fabricate, and I have to say that I'm impressed.
The delegates from Egypt are pissed. I don't blame them; Cairo got mauled, and HQ-PRIME had the floor mopped with it's strike team when they arrived.
They just need to hang-in there a little longer, while we get on our feet.
Our UFO interdiction capabilities are shallow and need improving; fir and foremost, that means being able to see them when they slow down enough to be vulnerable to attack. I told engineering to commission as many high atmosphere early warning systems as they could.
We had low-cost lesson at the beginning of the month, at Delta-3's expense. The girl's fine - just laid-up for a few days while the bruising and minor burns heal - and i don't want to take low cost lessons for granted, so i also had engineering commission some field emergency medical equipment. We don't need to lose experienced personnel to injuries that could've been treated.
There's no polite way to say it: the incentive program sucks. I take it as a personal insult that i am not trusted with XCOM's resources, and worse, I have to go pleading to some bottom feeding asshole to get more support.
It is what it is, though, and we do need the support. i had to inform the lab today that our ET specimens were all shipped-out to increase our 'budget'.
The decision was made today: volunteers withstanding, XCOM's combat assets will now include Meld enhanced personnel. I gave the green light for engineering to begin construction of what they're calling a 'cybernetics lab' this morning.
We'll have to see--
WARNING!
WARNING!
UFO ON DETECTED ON SCOPE! INTERCEPTION PARAMETERS MET!
Shit.
Director: Raven-1, report status. RAVEN-1 "GOUMINDONG": Pre-flight checks complete. All systems green. Awaiting launch clearance.
Director: Clearance granted, Raven-1. You are go for launch; repeat, launch is a go. Good hunting. RAVEN-1 "GOUMINDONG": Roger that, HQ.
RAVEN-1 "GOUMINDONG": Radar contact. Target is entering weapon's envelope; requesting permission to engage. Director: You are weapons free, Raven-1. Fire at will.
RAVEN-1 "GOUMINDONG": Splash one, HQ, splash one! Bogey is heading for the deck! Director: FUCK YEAH! ...Good shooting, Raven-1. RTB. Skyranger platform, signal Delta; tell them to suit-up. We've got a smashed space ship to impound.
Germany's catalogue of wars since the Romans
The only points that really matter are from about 1800 to present day. Germany wasn't really a country until then.
Helped defeat Napoleon, Unification Wars, Held its own against Britain, France and Russia in both World Wars and only losing because America has so got damn much stuff.
Look, orientation involved learning when and where to insert a needle into my neck.
I'm scared of needles so I may of missed some things.
Also...picking out your swanky outfit must've been pretty distracting. How is it none of you dapper folk have a tribly?
Have you seen the storage area? XCOM apparently bought an infinite amount of trilbies for the troops.
So the next time you hear the Commander moan about how he's short on funds, just remember that's only because he blew all of XCOM's cash on hats.
After all, who really believes an international council of nation are only willing to spare about a 100 bucks on planetary defense?
So the international council of nations bought out the entire hat supply to deprive EXALT of full dapperness? That's some terrorist level stuff. Not since the Mann Incident have we seen this kind of hatastrophe.
I should stop before I'm executed for puns against humanity.
MARCH 14TH, 2015. 2000 HOURS.
OPERATION UNCEASING FIST
FUKUOKA, JAPAN
...BEGIN MISSION RECORDER PLAYBACK...
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": ...LZ is clear. No sign of the vehicle's driver or any passengers, no sign of ET, no visual on the UFO. Status remains yellow. DELTA-4 "Notorious": I still can't believe I'm out here with Jack Rizzi Johnson. Holy shit, nobody is going to believe me. DELTA-6 "Rizzi": It's no big deal, man. DELTA-4 "Notorious": You kidding me? Biggest fuckin' deal of my life! I've never met a single celeb before; not even just passing by.
Director: Delta, we've got a spectrometer reading consistent with a Meld cache. Move in and secure it. DELTA-1 "Vegeta": Copy that, HQ.
DELTA-4 "Notorious": I've got a visual on the--shit! Movement!
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": I see them! Contact! Contact!
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": Fuck. Push in, Delta; they're in a bad spot and I'd like it to stay that way. DELTA-2 "Bethryn": Roger. DELTA-4 "Notorious": Roger. DELTA-6 "Rizzi": Roger.
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": Light him up!
DELTA-6 "Rizzi": Holy shit! Look at it move! DELTA-2 "Bethryn": Incoming!
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": Goddammit! DELTA-2 "Bethryn": I've got you covered!
DELTA-2 "Bethryn": Tagged him... fuck. He's still up.
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": ...Nope. DELTA-4 "Notorious": We clear? DELTA-1 "Vegeta": I don't see anything else moving.
DELTA-2 "Bethryn": I think I can see a Meld can over-- DELTA-6 "Rizzi": Beth! Behind you!
DELTA-6 "Rizzi": Contacts! 3 of them! DELTA-2 "Bethryn": Fuck my life... I'm re-positioning, cover me!
DELTA-2 "Bethryn": HQ, we have a new ET contact. You getting this? Director: Copy that, Delta-2; we're running a scan now...
Director: ...Christ... Delta-2, that ET matches the signature of the one that single-handedly wiped-out HQ-PRIME's strike team in Cairo. I want you to pull back from that position and--
DELTA-2 "Bethryn": Handled. Director: ... DELTA-2 "Bethryn": Rizzi, you going to bag that thing or what?
DELTA-2 "Bethryn": *Shakes head* DELTA-6 "Rizzi": I swear to fucking God, I have never seen anything that can-- DELTA-1 "Vegeta": Watch it!
DELTA-6 "Rizzi": OOoomph
DELTA-6 "Rizzi": ...Hell... DELTA-4 "Notorious": Johnson! You hit!? DELTA-6 "Rizzi": ...Not bad. Kevlar took it.
Posts
I'm drawing them in Illustrator.
Wait, Exalt weaponry is made in Germany, I uh suggest you go elsewhere! We're not quite ready yet. RED LIGHT!
!Germany
Steam profile - Twitch - YouTube
Switch: SM-6352-8553-6516
!SIGN UP!
I'd like to be a pilot. I'm not sure what that entails, but I like blowing stuff up and I have good spatial awareness...so there's that.
Battlenet: Judgement#1243
psn: KupoZero
How can I say no to an XCOM LP? My screen name is long I know, so "man with a gun" is a perfectly fine substitute. Assault class if its available.
What? We're not killing germans? Crap.
LETS KILL SOME BUG EYED THINGS FROM OUTER SPACE!
Dark colony was pretty fun.
Edit - after looking at some videos, also very violent.
OPERATION FROZEN HYMN
MUNICH, GERMANY
...BEGIN MISSION RECORDER PLAYBACK...
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": Status yellow. LZ is clear.
DIRECTOR: Copy that. Proceed with sweep & clear. Also, Delta-1, I have special mission parameters for you: if you happen to come across any Bratwursts, I'm going to need you to collect a large sample.
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": ...Sir?
Director: Just do it.
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": ...Roger that.
DELTA-4 "Notorious": Those are some nice TVs.
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": ...Eh, I guess. Who even watches those things anymore? ...Woah, HQ, I'm getting some serious headset feedback here. You still read me?
DIRECTOR: Just barely, Delta-1. We're going to analyze and filter out the noise...
DIRECTOR: ...Lab thinks it might be another one of those ET gel canisters, Delta. Check it out.
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": Copy that.
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": Contact!
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": ...Shit. I see the canister, but I lost visual on the ETs.
DELTA-4 "Notorious": I'm moving in to back you up, Vegeta. Beth, take the rookie into the store and get ready to flank 'em.
DELTA-2 "Bethryn": Bethryn. Jesus.
DELTA-5 "Anubis": 'The rookie'? Shove it up your ass.
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": I've got movement! Engaging with sidearm!
[Gunfire]
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": Jesus! What the Hell is this thing loaded with, standard-issue BB? They just bounce right off!
[Unknown Weapon Discharge]
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": MotherFUCK!
DELTA-5 "Anubis": Chill, cowboy. 'The Rookie's got it.
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": Nice toss, rookie.
DELTA-5 "Anubis": Go fuck yourself.
DELTA-2 "Bethryn": I'm moving to secure the canister.
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": Hold-up, Bethryn. We don't where the other--
DELTA-2 "Bethryn": Oh, I think I know where the other one is.
DELTA-2 "Bethryn": Area clear.
DIRECTOR: Delta, we've got another reading on exotic materials in your mission area. Just stay frosty and keep doing what you've been doing.
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": Copy that, HQ. Let's move, Delta.
DELTA-5 "Anubis": Try to keep pace, chunky.
DELTA-4 "Notorious": ...Girl, YOU try hauling ass with this Goddamn rocket launcher strapped to your--
DELTA-5 "Anubis": Contact!
DELTA-5 "Anubis": ...I see the canister...
DELTA-5 "Anubis": ...But my angle on ET is no good.
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": Pin 'em back, Delta. Take firing positions.
DELTA-4 "Notorious": What the fuck is that?
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": You getting this, HQ?
DIRECTOR: Copy, Delta... [inaudible]... hold on...
DIRECTOR: ...Lab thinks it's some kind of KE barrier, Delta. Recommend shooting at the ET at it's source if you can.
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": ...Ack. I don't have an angle on that one...
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": ...Kinetic barrier, eh?
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": Kinetic barrier what, baby.
DELTA-2 "Bethryn": I've got his pal.
DIRECTOR: ..what? [inaudible] ...calm down you fucking [inaudible] ...'restraint'? you want to lecture about 'restraint', you can do it on your own to Delta's faces when they get back to HQ
DELTA-4 "Notorious": Zone is mopped, HQ. We've got ourselves a sample from the canister--
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": Notorious, what's that in your... oh shit.
DIRECTOR: Problem, Delta?
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": We've secured our Bratwursts, HQ.
DELTA-4 "Notorious": 'Our' Bratwursts? Ah Hell no. You can find your own Goddamn--
DELTA-5 "Anubis": CONTACT! CONTACT!
DELTA-5 "Anubis": I've got no angle!
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": Well, let's see if i can get one.
DELTA-4 "Notorious": They're doing that... thing. Again.
DELTA-4 "Notorious": Watch it!
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": Jesus Christ! Those fucking guns!
DELTA-5 "Anubis": Do you have a shot?
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": ...Well...
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": Don't worry about wearing-out my back, Delta. I ate my greens when I was a kid.
...RECORDER PLAYBACK ENDS...
*Edit for DERPness - it's on sale at GreenManGaming.
Penny Arcade Rockstar Social Club / This is why I despise cyclists
!SignUp
Hot shot Interceptor pilot. Maybe I'll avoid the side of the mountain this time...
Not to make suggestions above my own station or anything, but should we have the option of responding to an incident in the United Kingdom, I request we secure some Tetley's tea.
The stuff at base leaves a lot to be desired.
Steam profile - Twitch - YouTube
Switch: SM-6352-8553-6516
I shall only assume that my fellow team members didn't have my enthusiasm for engaging the alien menace instead of just sending me out first to let the fresh meat take the first plasma shots.
!SignUp
I would like to be a big stompy robot person, Support or Assault
Battlenet: Judgement#1243
psn: KupoZero
If you are reading this, your welcome.
Sincerely,
<<Redacted>>
XCOM Operative
Steam - NotoriusBEN | Uplay - notoriusben | Xbox,Windows Live - ThatBEN
DIRECTOR'S LOG
MARCH 9TH, 2015
The Lab completed work today on what it's calling 'Meld': the gel substance we've found stowed in ET canisters. Some kind of bio-mechanical paste...
They think we could use it to graft volunteers onto robotic heavy weapons platforms and / or develop radical bio-molecular enhancements. XCOM management is still debating both the merits and ethics of these potential applications; I'm on the fence, but engineering has shown me schematics of the weapons platform they intend to fabricate, and I have to say that I'm impressed.
DIRECTOR'S LOG
MARCH 9TH, 2015
They just need to hang-in there a little longer, while we get on our feet.
Our UFO interdiction capabilities are shallow and need improving; fir and foremost, that means being able to see them when they slow down enough to be vulnerable to attack. I told engineering to commission as many high atmosphere early warning systems as they could.
We had low-cost lesson at the beginning of the month, at Delta-3's expense. The girl's fine - just laid-up for a few days while the bruising and minor burns heal - and i don't want to take low cost lessons for granted, so i also had engineering commission some field emergency medical equipment. We don't need to lose experienced personnel to injuries that could've been treated.
There's no polite way to say it: the incentive program sucks. I take it as a personal insult that i am not trusted with XCOM's resources, and worse, I have to go pleading to some bottom feeding asshole to get more support.
It is what it is, though, and we do need the support. i had to inform the lab today that our ET specimens were all shipped-out to increase our 'budget'.
They were not happy.
DIRECTOR'S LOG
MARCH 14TH, 2015
We'll have to see--
WARNING!
WARNING!
UFO ON DETECTED ON SCOPE! INTERCEPTION PARAMETERS MET!
Shit.
Director: Raven-1, report status.
RAVEN-1 "GOUMINDONG": Pre-flight checks complete. All systems green. Awaiting launch clearance.
Director: Clearance granted, Raven-1. You are go for launch; repeat, launch is a go. Good hunting.
RAVEN-1 "GOUMINDONG": Roger that, HQ.
RAVEN-1 "GOUMINDONG": Radar contact. Target is entering weapon's envelope; requesting permission to engage.
Director: You are weapons free, Raven-1. Fire at will.
RAVEN-1 "GOUMINDONG": Splash one, HQ, splash one! Bogey is heading for the deck!
Director: FUCK YEAH! ...Good shooting, Raven-1. RTB. Skyranger platform, signal Delta; tell them to suit-up. We've got a smashed space ship to impound.
Winning them, or starting them?
Germany's catalogue of wars since the Romans
The only points that really matter are from about 1800 to present day. Germany wasn't really a country until then.
Helped defeat Napoleon, Unification Wars, Held its own against Britain, France and Russia in both World Wars and only losing because America has so got damn much stuff.
Steam - NotoriusBEN | Uplay - notoriusben | Xbox,Windows Live - ThatBEN
The Chinese are paying top dollar for grey skins! Something about exploring their medicinal value...
grey skin eyes give great male potency... (confidingly) I've used it for years.
Steam - NotoriusBEN | Uplay - notoriusben | Xbox,Windows Live - ThatBEN
Plan... Morgan?
Merciful god in heaven.
We can only hope the pronoun is accurate. The alternative is even more horrible to contemplate.
As for the remainder of the conflict, Commander, we are viewing your reports with... interest. Do not disappoint us.
Good luck.
Why I fear the ocean.
Are you sure you're an EXALT Operative? Surely you recognise the logo of your own organisation without having to ask.
I'm scared of needles so I may of missed some things.
Also...picking out your swanky outfit must've been pretty distracting. How is it none of you dapper folk have a tribly?
Battlenet: Judgement#1243
psn: KupoZero
Have you seen the storage area? XCOM apparently bought an infinite amount of trilbies for the troops.
So the next time you hear the Commander moan about how he's short on funds, just remember that's only because he blew all of XCOM's cash on hats.
After all, who really believes an international council of nations is only willing to spare about a 100 bucks on planetary defense?
Well that and the genetic augmentations, gonna get so alien swole.
So the international council of nations bought out the entire hat supply to deprive EXALT of full dapperness? That's some terrorist level stuff. Not since the Mann Incident have we seen this kind of hatastrophe.
I should stop before I'm executed for puns against humanity.
Battlenet: Judgement#1243
psn: KupoZero
OPERATION UNCEASING FIST
FUKUOKA, JAPAN
...BEGIN MISSION RECORDER PLAYBACK...
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": ...LZ is clear. No sign of the vehicle's driver or any passengers, no sign of ET, no visual on the UFO. Status remains yellow.
DELTA-4 "Notorious": I still can't believe I'm out here with Jack Rizzi Johnson. Holy shit, nobody is going to believe me.
DELTA-6 "Rizzi": It's no big deal, man.
DELTA-4 "Notorious": You kidding me? Biggest fuckin' deal of my life! I've never met a single celeb before; not even just passing by.
Director: Delta, we've got a spectrometer reading consistent with a Meld cache. Move in and secure it.
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": Copy that, HQ.
DELTA-4 "Notorious": I've got a visual on the--shit! Movement!
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": I see them! Contact! Contact!
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": Fuck. Push in, Delta; they're in a bad spot and I'd like it to stay that way.
DELTA-2 "Bethryn": Roger.
DELTA-4 "Notorious": Roger.
DELTA-6 "Rizzi": Roger.
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": Light him up!
DELTA-6 "Rizzi": Holy shit! Look at it move!
DELTA-2 "Bethryn": Incoming!
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": Goddammit!
DELTA-2 "Bethryn": I've got you covered!
DELTA-2 "Bethryn": Tagged him... fuck. He's still up.
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": ...Nope.
DELTA-4 "Notorious": We clear?
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": I don't see anything else moving.
DELTA-2 "Bethryn": I think I can see a Meld can over--
DELTA-6 "Rizzi": Beth! Behind you!
DELTA-6 "Rizzi": Contacts! 3 of them!
DELTA-2 "Bethryn": Fuck my life... I'm re-positioning, cover me!
DELTA-2 "Bethryn": HQ, we have a new ET contact. You getting this?
Director: Copy that, Delta-2; we're running a scan now...
Director: ...Christ... Delta-2, that ET matches the signature of the one that single-handedly wiped-out HQ-PRIME's strike team in Cairo. I want you to pull back from that position and--
DELTA-2 "Bethryn": Handled.
Director: ...
DELTA-2 "Bethryn": Rizzi, you going to bag that thing or what?
DELTA-2 "Bethryn": *Shakes head*
DELTA-6 "Rizzi": I swear to fucking God, I have never seen anything that can--
DELTA-1 "Vegeta": Watch it!
DELTA-6 "Rizzi": OOoomph
DELTA-6 "Rizzi": ...Hell...
DELTA-4 "Notorious": Johnson! You hit!?
DELTA-6 "Rizzi": ...Not bad. Kevlar took it.
DELTA-6 "Rizzi": Dodge that, motherfucker.
...MISSION RECORDER PLAYBACK ENDS...