Also, @JacksWastedLife it sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders and while I'm sorry you're going through your own tough (?) transition, I have no doubt you're going to enjoy your social life just as soon as you feel ready -- potential partners will also likely have kids, so hopefully that won't be too big an issue for you.
EDIT: How did Geth Awesome that at the exact second it got posted?
I am 32. Most of the potential partners within a decade of my age want to have kids of their own. I already have the two I want and can't have more, even if I wanted to. This is something I'm completely okay with, but I would imagine would limit my options.
And in terms of the transition being tough, the only thing that I worry about is making sure that my kids grow up well adjusted and understand their parents love them but don't want to be together and that there is nothing wrong with that.
I would bet there are more than a few single mothers in your neck of the woods in your age range.
But yeah, you got your priorities in line. Where's the goddamned :thumbs up:?
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Blake TDo you have enemies then?Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered Userregular
Also, @JacksWastedLife it sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders and while I'm sorry you're going through your own tough (?) transition, I have no doubt you're going to enjoy your social life just as soon as you feel ready -- potential partners will also likely have kids, so hopefully that won't be too big an issue for you.
EDIT: How did Geth Awesome that at the exact second it got posted?
Edit: I'm not trying to be mean or anything. It just seems to me like the best course of action is to go to her with your concerns.
I get you're not being mean @ Psykoma and didn't interpret it that way.
But ask who what?
From how i read you post it seemed like you were more interested in K, and are focusing more on A because you're not sure where you are or could be with K.
So I would say talk to K, talk to her about how you feel unsure about if you're ready for a relationship, how you're unsure about the extent of her feelings towards you. I feel that eliminating the "would she?" question would allow you to more clearly consider whether or not you're even ready for a relationship.
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HacksawJ. Duggan Esq.Wrestler at LawRegistered Userregular
Geth is the brutal, uncaring metallic overlord we deserve.
No, I would definitely say I am more interested in A. K is someone I like as a friend, and have fun sexy times with, but neither see a relationship nor with whom I want a romantic relationship with. I just (a) don't want to hurt her or make her feel used, and (b) don't want to string her along if she's got other ideas.
Also, Geth is scary like a motherfucker.
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HacksawJ. Duggan Esq.Wrestler at LawRegistered Userregular
Talk out your feelings with K, then. Adults are cool like that, and tend to be receptive and respectful of such discussions.
My vote is still for you to avoid A, but then I also have a personal history and a bountiful reserve of ancedata in that realm, so I feel that way because reasons.
people know at work not to hand me their phone
The story is a girl was texting someone while drunk. He was at a loss what to say. hands me the phone and says say something to her.
I texted her: Is there were you regrettably send pics of your dick to people and regret it. 15 minutes later she sends him a bunch of dick pics.
So when they say show me after I tell them about a video or such I saw online they ask how to spell it or so to look at it
Any advice on how to know when you're ready to commitment to a person for an indeterminate length of time? How'd you lot know when it was ok to get back on the horse?
So a slightly different perspective from someone a bit further down the line, it's been four years since my divorce was final and admittedly it was a situation that left me with some lingering emotional baggage so forgive me if this isn't something super applicable. Also, probably pretty vague because hey look my personal life all over the forums.
The jist is, there are still some days where I don't know if I'm ready. There are some days (more often than not!) now where I'm all FUCK YES RELATIONSHIIIIIIIPS and I'm totally comfortable talking about my clusterfuck of a marriage and why it ended and why it took me so long to get my mental shit in order. There are also days (fewer but still notable) where I literally never want to see or speak to or touch another human being again.
Honestly, it's not that much different from any other person worried about committing themselves--it's just that we often have an extra layer of armor to push through and the super bitter awareness of what it's like to have your most vulnerable emotions crushed by someone you thought you could trust.
There's a lot of bravery to say that you're willing to try that again, and there's still fear and doubt and anxiety that oh fuck now I'm vulnerable again what if what if what if auuuuuugh.
Just keep breathing. Let yourself trust and be vulnerable in small increments, and then bigger, and then whole chunks. It's so goddamn hard, but it'll happen.
Thanks. I appreciate advice, perspective, and difficulty in putting it out there. Kinda sucks putting all this in public.
It's good advice though, and I thank you for it. For a little more from my perspective, my marriage was over about 2 years before we actually separated, so I'm more in the "Yes I could commit to someone today" vein and really need to rein myself in so I don't jump into something that is going to hurt people (myself included). Hence the "Just date for now" mantra.
But I really like this woman, A. She's 2 liters of awesome in a 1 pint glass. She is overflowing with awesome. And she's about to be incommunicado for 3 weeks.
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KwoaruConfident SmirkFlawless Golden PecsRegistered Userregular
haha no buddy I'm not gonna answer your text asking why I didn't want to at least hook up
Thanks. I appreciate advice, perspective, and difficulty in putting it out there. Kinda sucks putting all this in public.
It's good advice though, and I thank you for it. For a little more from my perspective, my marriage was over about 2 years before we actually separated, so I'm more in the "Yes I could commit to someone today" vein and really need to rein myself in so I don't jump into something that is going to hurt people (myself included). Hence the "Just date for now" mantra.
But I really like this woman, A. She's 2 liters of awesome in a 1 pint glass. She is overflowing with awesome. And she's about to be incommunicado for 3 weeks.
Strangely enough, I can also offer some perspective on that (if you want to talk more, PM me because barf personal life on the forums)
This is a Good Thing for you, whether you believe it or not. Yes, you really like her and she's awesome and HAPPY! But this gives you some You time, time to figure out who You are outside of a relationship. Develop hobbies. Do things. Learn stuff. Make friends. Learn to like, or at least accept, being alone.
Meetup time got pushed up from 5:30 to 7:30, and she wants to go play board games with her friends at 10, and I'm invited.
She's the one who asked me to hang out, so I don't know if inviting me to go hang out with her friends is out of a genuine desire or because she feels uncomfortable just telling me she's changed her mind. All of this seems pretty silly and like a lot of work to hang out with someone, yeah?
I told her I'd love to go play board games, but also if she just wasn't feeling it that was totally cool and I wouldn't get pissy about it. She insisted it wasn't that, she just had a recital and they always all meet up after for board games, so I'll go buuut
Somethin' don't sit right. I think @Jimothy might've stolen her heart already.
It's hard when you're the one wondering what's going on, but from the outside that sounds like she's trying to fit you into her schedule and wants you to meet her friends.
Meetup time got pushed up from 5:30 to 7:30, and she wants to go play board games with her friends at 10, and I'm invited.
She's the one who asked me to hang out, so I don't know if inviting me to go hang out with her friends is out of a genuine desire or because she feels uncomfortable just telling me she's changed her mind. All of this seems pretty silly and like a lot of work to hang out with someone, yeah?
I told her I'd love to go play board games, but also if she just wasn't feeling it that was totally cool and I wouldn't get pissy about it. She insisted it wasn't that, she just had a recital and they always all meet up after for board games, so I'll go buuut
Somethin' don't sit right. I think @Jimothy might've stolen her heart already.
It's hard when you're the one wondering what's going on, but from the outside that sounds like she's trying to fit you into her schedule and wants you to meet her friends.
that sounds pretty good
Also, sometimes people want to meet people with other people around. Fear, shyness, nervousness, these can all be helped with friendly faces around.
Thanks. I appreciate advice, perspective, and difficulty in putting it out there. Kinda sucks putting all this in public.
It's good advice though, and I thank you for it. For a little more from my perspective, my marriage was over about 2 years before we actually separated, so I'm more in the "Yes I could commit to someone today" vein and really need to rein myself in so I don't jump into something that is going to hurt people (myself included). Hence the "Just date for now" mantra.
But I really like this woman, A. She's 2 liters of awesome in a 1 pint glass. She is overflowing with awesome. And she's about to be incommunicado for 3 weeks.
Strangely enough, I can also offer some perspective on that (if you want to talk more, PM me because barf personal life on the forums)
This is a Good Thing for you, whether you believe it or not. Yes, you really like her and she's awesome and HAPPY! But this gives you some You time, time to figure out who You are outside of a relationship. Develop hobbies. Do things. Learn stuff. Make friends. Learn to like, or at least accept, being alone.
Muchas gracias, I may just do that. Short version: I've got too much me time as it is, and it is entirely possible I am already too far inside my own head -- a common problem around these parts
I gotta negotiate some social logistics. It's hard making an extended booty call in the same small university town you spent four years. Do I tell people I'm coming? what if I run into them? what if I'm trying to score free concert tickets off them?
Do you have any friends still in that town? How long ago were you living there?
If you don't know that you still know people there, any one you happen to run into is a coincidence and a friendly(?) greeting, but no obligation on you.
I gotta negotiate some social logistics. It's hard making an extended booty call in the same small university town you spent four years. Do I tell people I'm coming? what if I run into them? what if I'm trying to score free concert tickets off them?
yeah, loads. Left about 18 months ago. Some people I will be desperately trying to avoid, some I do want to catch up with but don't know if I want to take time out from having sex to do so.
edit: to be clear, there are people there who will be horrendously hurt if I come to town and don't say 'hi'. But ... seriously if I caught up with everyone I knew there, I would have no time for actually seeing the person I'm going there to see.
Posts
Always watching.
I am 32. Most of the potential partners within a decade of my age want to have kids of their own. I already have the two I want and can't have more, even if I wanted to. This is something I'm completely okay with, but I would imagine would limit my options.
And in terms of the transition being tough, the only thing that I worry about is making sure that my kids grow up well adjusted and understand their parents love them but don't want to be together and that there is nothing wrong with that.
But yeah, you got your priorities in line. Where's the goddamned :thumbs up:?
Satans..... hints.....
Satans..... hints.....
From how i read you post it seemed like you were more interested in K, and are focusing more on A because you're not sure where you are or could be with K.
So I would say talk to K, talk to her about how you feel unsure about if you're ready for a relationship, how you're unsure about the extent of her feelings towards you. I feel that eliminating the "would she?" question would allow you to more clearly consider whether or not you're even ready for a relationship.
Also, Geth is scary like a motherfucker.
My vote is still for you to avoid A, but then I also have a personal history and a bountiful reserve of ancedata in that realm, so I feel that way because reasons.
I am super late to this party but if you can"t have a good time in Ballard you need to go back to Redmond you eastside piece of shit.
EDIT: Oh shit it's Luke.
Fuck you, buddy.
Awwww, @Blake T, Cherno Alpha looks so excited
I just want a hug
I really have needed one for years
Alas I doubt it will ever happen
a bold move
people know at work not to hand me their phone
The story is a girl was texting someone while drunk. He was at a loss what to say. hands me the phone and says say something to her.
I texted her: Is there were you regrettably send pics of your dick to people and regret it. 15 minutes later she sends him a bunch of dick pics.
So when they say show me after I tell them about a video or such I saw online they ask how to spell it or so to look at it
bring it in
ineedmayo.com Eidolon Journal Updated
This is why we're besties
So a slightly different perspective from someone a bit further down the line, it's been four years since my divorce was final and admittedly it was a situation that left me with some lingering emotional baggage so forgive me if this isn't something super applicable. Also, probably pretty vague because hey look my personal life all over the forums.
The jist is, there are still some days where I don't know if I'm ready. There are some days (more often than not!) now where I'm all FUCK YES RELATIONSHIIIIIIIPS and I'm totally comfortable talking about my clusterfuck of a marriage and why it ended and why it took me so long to get my mental shit in order. There are also days (fewer but still notable) where I literally never want to see or speak to or touch another human being again.
Honestly, it's not that much different from any other person worried about committing themselves--it's just that we often have an extra layer of armor to push through and the super bitter awareness of what it's like to have your most vulnerable emotions crushed by someone you thought you could trust.
There's a lot of bravery to say that you're willing to try that again, and there's still fear and doubt and anxiety that oh fuck now I'm vulnerable again what if what if what if auuuuuugh.
Just keep breathing. Let yourself trust and be vulnerable in small increments, and then bigger, and then whole chunks. It's so goddamn hard, but it'll happen.
It's good advice though, and I thank you for it. For a little more from my perspective, my marriage was over about 2 years before we actually separated, so I'm more in the "Yes I could commit to someone today" vein and really need to rein myself in so I don't jump into something that is going to hurt people (myself included). Hence the "Just date for now" mantra.
But I really like this woman, A. She's 2 liters of awesome in a 1 pint glass. She is overflowing with awesome. And she's about to be incommunicado for 3 weeks.
not interested, please do not send another
Strangely enough, I can also offer some perspective on that (if you want to talk more, PM me because barf personal life on the forums)
This is a Good Thing for you, whether you believe it or not. Yes, you really like her and she's awesome and HAPPY! But this gives you some You time, time to figure out who You are outside of a relationship. Develop hobbies. Do things. Learn stuff. Make friends. Learn to like, or at least accept, being alone.
She's the one who asked me to hang out, so I don't know if inviting me to go hang out with her friends is out of a genuine desire or because she feels uncomfortable just telling me she's changed her mind. All of this seems pretty silly and like a lot of work to hang out with someone, yeah?
I told her I'd love to go play board games, but also if she just wasn't feeling it that was totally cool and I wouldn't get pissy about it. She insisted it wasn't that, she just had a recital and they always all meet up after for board games, so I'll go buuut
Somethin' don't sit right. I think @Jimothy might've stolen her heart already.
PSN: Robo_Wizard1
that sounds pretty good
STOP IT
GO PLAY BOARD GAMES
Also, sometimes people want to meet people with other people around. Fear, shyness, nervousness, these can all be helped with friendly faces around.
Muchas gracias, I may just do that. Short version: I've got too much me time as it is, and it is entirely possible I am already too far inside my own head -- a common problem around these parts
If you don't know that you still know people there, any one you happen to run into is a coincidence and a friendly(?) greeting, but no obligation on you.
Tell everybody that you're coming.
edit: to be clear, there are people there who will be horrendously hurt if I come to town and don't say 'hi'. But ... seriously if I caught up with everyone I knew there, I would have no time for actually seeing the person I'm going there to see.
like a movie star!