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NFL Super Bowl XLIX: Lick the Gun

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  • NinjeffNinjeff Registered User regular
    Le_Goat wrote: »
    Ninjeff wrote: »
    Every "why your team sucks" article is supposed to be brutal.
    The Houston one hits a bit below the belt, but probably only because i actually love that city.
    I don't see any reason to get all butt hurt about the article. They equally offend everyone at some point in time! Its all in good humor anyway.
    I grew up in Houston (18 years), left, and have no plans of ever going back (except to visit friends/family). Unless you have a specific reason to go to Houston, there is no reason to go, especially during the months of April through September; fuck that heat and fuck that humidity. Of course, I left in 2001, so apparently a lot has changed with things in the city, but you'll never catch me moving back. I thought the description of how the city is was harsh but kind of accurate.

    That being said, I thought last year's Why Your Team Sucks on the Texans was more cleverly written with the Houston bashing; this year's just ran out of things to say and tried to re-hash last year's. The difference was he took out the Schaub jersey burning (I'm still embarrassed by that) and replaced it with Watt hating.

    Nah, you're missing out man. Its a fantastic city, and lots has changed. Specifically downtown.
    Its a hellova lot nicer than Chicago. Food is better too. (shots fired!)
    And its certainly better than central Illinois (where i'm living now)
    But, i digress.

  • tsmvengytsmvengy Registered User regular
    http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-san-francisco-49ers-1724542048
    Tomsula, as you know, replaces actual football coach Jim Harbaugh, who took a disgraced franchise and immediately shaped it into a perennial winner. He was then forced out by owner Jed York and GM Trent Baaaaaaaalke for being, like, too mean or something. Smart move.

    steam_sig.png
  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    I can't wait for the Ravens one now since that Harbaugh has come out in support of trump.

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • Santa ClaustrophobiaSanta Claustrophobia Ho Ho Ho Disconnecting from Xbox LIVERegistered User regular
    In the meantime, Buffalo! (Tatanka!)
    As you recall, the most amusing thing about the Bills’ 2014 season was when head coach Doug Marrone exploited a contract loophole that guaranteed him $4 million just to leave the team. And the best part is that Marrone overplayed his hand, took the money, and waited for another head coaching job to come rolling in, only to end up marooned in Jacksonville as a lowly assistant. This is how it works in Buffalo: everyone ends up embarrassed. Only Doug Marrone could find a way to make an extra $4 million and still end up looking like a fucking idiot.

    You're muckin' with a G!

    Do not engage the Watermelons.
  • Le_GoatLe_Goat Frechified Goat Person BostonRegistered User regular
    Kelvin Benjamin just got carted off the field. Looks like it could be bad.

    While I agree that being insensitive is an issue, so is being oversensitive.
  • admanbadmanb unionize your workplace Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    They're calling it a sprain, but wait for the MRI.

  • CogCog What'd you expect? Registered User regular
    In the meantime, Buffalo! (Tatanka!)
    As you recall, the most amusing thing about the Bills’ 2014 season was when head coach Doug Marrone exploited a contract loophole that guaranteed him $4 million just to leave the team. And the best part is that Marrone overplayed his hand, took the money, and waited for another head coaching job to come rolling in, only to end up marooned in Jacksonville as a lowly assistant. This is how it works in Buffalo: everyone ends up embarrassed. Only Doug Marrone could find a way to make an extra $4 million and still end up looking like a fucking idiot.

    @Preacher YOUR TIME HAS COME

  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    Hooray one of the few times people remember buffallo is a team other than when they hilariously fuck something up. Or one of their awful new players like becomes Subways new spokesman...

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • Santa ClaustrophobiaSanta Claustrophobia Ho Ho Ho Disconnecting from Xbox LIVERegistered User regular
    I still like this comment related to the movie Draft Day:
    For as long as I have written for this blog, I have chronicled the Battle of Lake Erie between Cleveland and Buffalo for the right to be called America’s most tortured sports city. It turns out I wasn’t the only one paying attention.

    “Draft Day” is a soon-to-be filmed sports comedy starring Kevin Costner as the general manager of a woebegone NFL franchise looking to turn things around. The two cities visited by director Ivan Reitman? Buffalo and Cleveland.

    Apparently Buffalo was the frontrunner. But according to the Buffalo News, Cleveland’s film commission was able to offer the production more incentives, and thus the movie will be about the Browns rather than the Bills. So Buffalo can’t even win for losing. (If you click on the Buffalo News link, please be sure to scroll down to see the reader comments for a new lesson in massive civic depression).

    You're muckin' with a G!

    Do not engage the Watermelons.
  • Le_GoatLe_Goat Frechified Goat Person BostonRegistered User regular
    So Buffalo can't even win for losing.
    Fucking priceless. HA!

    While I agree that being insensitive is an issue, so is being oversensitive.
  • DynagripDynagrip Break me a million hearts HoustonRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Elki wrote: »
    Dynagrip wrote: »
    Thomamelas wrote: »
    Dynagrip wrote: »
    what am i doing, i should be spending my free/slack time preparing for fantasy football drafts

    When is our draft?
    dunno

    @elki can we kick out the people that routinely quit participating about 3 weeks in and put in some new blood? I guess you can be the exception.

    I've been slacking. And do you want to start a discussion about changing the draft rules? Is that something we want to do? It gets brought up, but then I don't do anything about it.

    @elki re: draft rules

    what do you mean exactly? i'm fine with how our drafts proceed but feel like the league has a high rate of dropout during the season. It's only 10 teams so any negligent owners (not updating rosters for byes, injuries, etc.) screw things up pretty good.

  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • Santa ClaustrophobiaSanta Claustrophobia Ho Ho Ho Disconnecting from Xbox LIVERegistered User regular
    Eh. It's kind of low-hanging fruit. Most people who are brought up a certain way are never, if ever, going to admit what they're doing as a result is wrong.

    You're muckin' with a G!

    Do not engage the Watermelons.
  • CaptainPeacockCaptainPeacock Board Game Hoarder Top o' the LakeRegistered User regular
    It's a major cornerstone failing of human beings in general, to never consider that you might be wrong about everything.

    Cluck cluck, gibber gibber, my old man's a mushroom, etc.
  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    Eh. It's kind of low-hanging fruit. Most people who are brought up a certain way are never, if ever, going to admit what they're doing as a result is wrong.

    Yes but most people who do that aren't famous athletes known for beating their kids in the penis with a piece of wood.

    Like I'm an asshole who will never not use bad language, I can definitively say I'm a better person than Adrian Peterson.

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • davidsdurionsdavidsdurions Your Trusty Meatshield Panhandle NebraskaRegistered User regular
    Preacher wrote: »

    Why didn't we trade him? The reverse Herschel walker trade was right fucking there!

  • Sir LandsharkSir Landshark resting shark face Registered User regular
    Torn ACL for Kelvin Benjamin. One of my leagues drafted already (only time that worked for all the out of towners to fly in). Feel bad for the dude that drafted him (and for Benjamin himself obviously).

    Please consider the environment before printing this post.
  • Sir LandsharkSir Landshark resting shark face Registered User regular
    Ninjeff wrote: »
    Le_Goat wrote: »
    Ninjeff wrote: »
    Every "why your team sucks" article is supposed to be brutal.
    The Houston one hits a bit below the belt, but probably only because i actually love that city.
    I don't see any reason to get all butt hurt about the article. They equally offend everyone at some point in time! Its all in good humor anyway.
    I grew up in Houston (18 years), left, and have no plans of ever going back (except to visit friends/family). Unless you have a specific reason to go to Houston, there is no reason to go, especially during the months of April through September; fuck that heat and fuck that humidity. Of course, I left in 2001, so apparently a lot has changed with things in the city, but you'll never catch me moving back. I thought the description of how the city is was harsh but kind of accurate.

    That being said, I thought last year's Why Your Team Sucks on the Texans was more cleverly written with the Houston bashing; this year's just ran out of things to say and tried to re-hash last year's. The difference was he took out the Schaub jersey burning (I'm still embarrassed by that) and replaced it with Watt hating.

    Nah, you're missing out man. Its a fantastic city, and lots has changed. Specifically downtown.
    Its a hellova lot nicer than Chicago. Food is better too. (shots fired!)
    And its certainly better than central Illinois (where i'm living now)
    But, i digress.

    man what

    Please consider the environment before printing this post.
  • Sir LandsharkSir Landshark resting shark face Registered User regular
    this regional based aggression

    Please consider the environment before printing this post.
  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    Damn lions couldn't even make it out of the preseason before letting their fans down.

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • tsmvengytsmvengy Registered User regular
    This is why we never draft until the weekend before week 1.

    steam_sig.png
  • Sir LandsharkSir Landshark resting shark face Registered User regular
    tsmvengy wrote: »
    This is why we never draft until the weekend before week 1.

    Yeah that's ideal. But in person drafts are way more fun and the weekend before week 1 is usually labor day weekend which is a busy time for many.

    Please consider the environment before printing this post.
  • ObiFettObiFett Use the Force As You WishRegistered User regular
    Preacher wrote: »
    Damn lions couldn't even make it out of the preseason before letting their fans down.

    What happened?

  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    Kelvin Benjamin tore his ACL.

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    Wait shit I thought he played for the lions, my bad he's a panther.

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • ObiFettObiFett Use the Force As You WishRegistered User regular
    ok, yeah you gave me a heart-attack

    I just assumed Stafford hit his giant head on something

  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    Sorry I didn't mean to start that shit early with you detroit boys. We'll wait for Stafford to crash his car on the way to a "looks like Haley Joel Osment" competition.

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • pyromaniac221pyromaniac221 this just might be an interestin YTRegistered User regular
    Panthers really couldn't afford to lose Benjamin. It was really helpful for Cam to have an eight-billion-foot receiver that was impossible to overthrow.

    psn tooaware, friend code SW-4760-0062-3248 it me
  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    Its ok Cam will just throw to Richard Sherman, that's guy's got decent hands.

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • dlinfinitidlinfiniti Registered User regular
    Dynagrip wrote: »
    Elki wrote: »
    Dynagrip wrote: »
    Thomamelas wrote: »
    Dynagrip wrote: »
    what am i doing, i should be spending my free/slack time preparing for fantasy football drafts

    When is our draft?
    dunno

    @elki can we kick out the people that routinely quit participating about 3 weeks in and put in some new blood? I guess you can be the exception.

    I've been slacking. And do you want to start a discussion about changing the draft rules? Is that something we want to do? It gets brought up, but then I don't do anything about it.

    @elki re: draft rules

    what do you mean exactly? i'm fine with how our drafts proceed but feel like the league has a high rate of dropout during the season. It's only 10 teams so any negligent owners (not updating rosters for byes, injuries, etc.) screw things up pretty good.
    its hard to stay engaged all season long when you have such a perenially dominant juggernaut sitting at the top
    I mean its gotta be discouraging when every time anyone faces the sp00ns they get their ass whupped and it doesn't seem to matter whether they play their starters or bench everyone
    may as well not even try anymore

    AAAAA!!! PLAAAYGUUU!!!!
  • PellaeonPellaeon Registered User regular
    its hard to stay engaged all season long when you have such a perenially dominant juggernaut sitting at the top
    I know, rite, Thom was like, impossible to beat last season
    I mean its gotta be discouraging when every time anyone faces the sp00ns they get their ass whupped and it doesn't seem to matter whether they play their starters or bench everyone
    may as well not even try anymore
    Oh...oh you meant....oh guys, did we not send him the final standings last season? Uh, this is awkward.

  • TexiKenTexiKen Dammit! That fish really got me!Registered User regular
    Hard Knocks showed three things:

    -Cushing's one of those guys who looks like he can dish it out but can't take it, let people get in his head a lot (but seems like he is a good guy underneath all the Jersey Shore stuff)
    -he and his wife have some great veneers
    -athletes need to stop dressing like idiots. I'm looking at you Deandre Hopkins.

  • ThomamelasThomamelas Only one man can kill this many Russians. Bring his guitar to me! Registered User regular
    edited August 2015
    dlinfiniti wrote: »
    Dynagrip wrote: »
    Elki wrote: »
    Dynagrip wrote: »
    Thomamelas wrote: »
    Dynagrip wrote: »
    what am i doing, i should be spending my free/slack time preparing for fantasy football drafts

    When is our draft?
    dunno

    @elki can we kick out the people that routinely quit participating about 3 weeks in and put in some new blood? I guess you can be the exception.

    I've been slacking. And do you want to start a discussion about changing the draft rules? Is that something we want to do? It gets brought up, but then I don't do anything about it.

    @elki re: draft rules

    what do you mean exactly? i'm fine with how our drafts proceed but feel like the league has a high rate of dropout during the season. It's only 10 teams so any negligent owners (not updating rosters for byes, injuries, etc.) screw things up pretty good.
    its hard to stay engaged all season long when you have such a perenially dominant juggernaut sitting at the top
    I mean its gotta be discouraging when every time anyone faces the sp00ns they get their ass whupped and it doesn't seem to matter whether they play their starters or bench everyone
    may as well not even try anymore

    Huh, how did I do against you during the season? 115.05 to 103.30 during our regular season game. Not a massive margin of victory for me but I was happy with it. And during the final match? 111.50 to 85.10. Oh. Oh my. Yeah, I can see why you might want to have blocked that out of your memory. Sorry for what ever emotions bringing it up might have triggered.

    Thomamelas on
  • JarsJars Registered User regular
    I didn't have any bad experiences at the ralph because 1) it was late in the season so no one was there(they actually won! tebow threw like 4 ints) 2) did not use the restroom

  • admanbadmanb unionize your workplace Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    I feel like we should complain about the fantasy football talk, but somehow it's still better than preseason nonsense.

  • AsharadAsharad Registered User regular
    TexiKen wrote: »
    Hard Knocks showed three things:

    -Cushing's one of those guys who looks like he can dish it out but can't take it, let people get in his head a lot (but seems like he is a good guy underneath all the Jersey Shore stuff)
    -he and his wife have some great veneers
    -athletes need to stop dressing like idiots. I'm looking at you Deandre Hopkins.

    DeAndre Hopkins looked awesome.

  • y2jake215y2jake215 certified Flat Birther theorist the Last Good Boy onlineRegistered User regular
    admanb wrote: »
    I feel like we should complain about the fantasy football talk, but somehow it's still better than preseason nonsense.

    I can talk about deflategate if you'd like! Ceaselessly in fact

    C8Ft8GE.jpg
    maybe i'm streaming terrible dj right now if i am its here
  • AsharadAsharad Registered User regular
    As a follow up to my previous comment, not only did DeAndrea Hopkins look awesome, he just is awesome.

    His bit on wanting to buy a Yorkshire Terrier and his coffee discussion were the best parts of the episode.

  • ShadowhopeShadowhope Baa. Registered User regular
    y2jake215 wrote: »
    admanb wrote: »
    I feel like we should complain about the fantasy football talk, but somehow it's still better than preseason nonsense.

    I can talk about deflategate if you'd like! Ceaselessly in fact

    Did you know that as things currently stand, Tom Brady will be barred from entering Foxboro stadium as of September 5?

    If he was to sneak in, would the scandal be called Gategate?

    Civics is not a consumer product that you can ignore because you don’t like the options presented.
  • NinjeffNinjeff Registered User regular
    TexiKen wrote: »
    Hard Knocks showed three things:

    -Cushing's one of those guys who looks like he can dish it out but can't take it, let people get in his head a lot (but seems like he is a good guy underneath all the Jersey Shore stuff)
    -he and his wife have some great veneers
    -athletes need to stop dressing like idiots. I'm looking at you Deandre Hopkins.

    I didn't get that impression about Cushing. He just seemed really intense and amped up. A little too amped up for practice but.....

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