Brilliant. That way you won't have to make good on your promises. Well, unless they happen to be self resurrecting necromancers.
Either way, I think "Aunt Maude got eaten by the wardrobe that she bought from the Mimic Ranch outside of town" might come up as a hook in a future D&D game.
This ranch is only staffed by the best dungeon delvers that need some cash on the side between adventures. We will guarantee not only are the mimics properly and humanely slaughtered, but they will be mimics of the highest quality furniture. When we expand the ranch and R&D budget it may be possible in the future to even raise mimic houses to provide cheap affordable roofs for everyone. Visit our gift shop for all sorts of mimic trinkets.
The entire store is an Ancient mimic. The game of luck itself is a con.
"The western world sips from a poisonous cocktail: Polarisation, populism, protectionism and post-truth"
-Antje Jackelén, Archbishop of the Church of Sweden
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Indie Winterdie KräheRudi Hurzlmeier (German, b. 1952)Registered Userregular
Indie Winterdie KräheRudi Hurzlmeier (German, b. 1952)Registered Userregular
edited April 2017
a golem ought to be like a protectron from fallout when it comes to smarts
It can ambulate however you like it to, but if you're not risking a full Prague situation with every creation should you fail to do your work properly then you are infusing an imp or a spirit into a humanoid platform, not constructing a golem
a golem under the current working definition is a mechanical automaton fueled by any sort of magic, and not operating under any known science.
It's a fairly broad category where typically things are only not in it due to specific clarifications. many undead could fit into the category but because the undead being rules removes it from being a golem it's not listed under golem.
a sapient golem would still be a golem because the current definition of sapient being doesn't remove it from any other category outside of "kill on sight" though it doesn't stop it from being re-added to that list.
The Lord of Under-Mountain for example is a sapient golem, it wasn't created from putting a living being inside of it either, more the spell went awry and in time the hulking titanium golem became self aware and took over the warren. It is not on the kill on sight list because of complicated reasons.
Jake the Roper is also a sapient golem, and is on the kill on sight list because it needs to die for all that murder.
In closing, if it quacks like a duck, walks like a duck, but can do advanced maths it's still a duck, it's just a very smart duck and we should try to be friends with that duck. and give it tiny glasses and a lab coat because that would be fucking adorable.
In closing, if it quacks like a duck, walks like a duck, but can do advanced maths it's still a duck, it's just a very smart duck and we should try to be friends with that duck. and give it tiny glasses and a lab coat because that would be fucking adorable.
Until it starts trying to raise the dead.
Then it gets put on the list.
In closing, if it quacks like a duck, walks like a duck, but can do advanced maths it's still a duck, it's just a very smart duck and we should try to be friends with that duck. and give it tiny glasses and a lab coat because that would be fucking adorable.
Until it starts trying to raise the dead.
Then it gets put on the list.
In closing, if it quacks like a duck, walks like a duck, but can do advanced maths it's still a duck, it's just a very smart duck and we should try to be friends with that duck. and give it tiny glasses and a lab coat because that would be fucking adorable.
Until it starts trying to raise the dead.
Then it gets put on the list.
You dare oppose the Great Necromallard?
I very carefully did not specify what list.
Maybe the Necromallard goes on the "Kill on sight" list.
Maybe the Necromallard goes on the "Future benevolent godking of the planet, do not anger" list.
Maybe a third list, one involving being the recipient of large quantities of bread crumbs. Ah yiss. Mutha fukin' bread crumbs.
In closing, if it quacks like a duck, walks like a duck, but can do advanced maths it's still a duck, it's just a very smart duck and we should try to be friends with that duck. and give it tiny glasses and a lab coat because that would be fucking adorable.
Until it starts trying to raise the dead.
Then it gets put on the list.
You dare oppose the Great Necromallard?
I very carefully did not specify what list.
Maybe the Necromallard goes on the "Kill on sight" list.
Maybe the Necromallard goes on the "Future benevolent godking of the planet, do not anger" list.
Maybe a third list, one involving being the recipient of large quantities of bread crumbs. Ah yiss. Mutha fukin' bread crumbs.
Two weeks ago the party in my D&D group fought a troupe of actors who had been commanded by a crazy playwright to kill the lord of this region and kidnap his wife. We didn't know they were responsible at first, and during the course of the attempted murder investigation it turned out that if she was dead that was fine as well. After we subdued the group, managing to save both the lord and lady, the survivors told us where the playwright could be found. We dressed up one of the actors we had killed during the fight in the lady's dress and disguised ourselves as the other actors themselves, intending to sneak our way in and take out the playwright before he realized we were a threat.
When we arrived we found an old, dilapidated opera house, the entire place humming with necromantic energy. As we make our way through it occasionally a voice would call out from the air, describing a narrative which would then play out via skeletal/zombie minions. On the stage were a group of these, reenacting a scene in which a male zombie woos a female zombie before a larger zombie brute comes in and pushes him away, laughing before taking the female zombie off-stage. The voice narrating all the while.
At the very back of the Opera House there was a large atrium-style room, with a glass ceiling and a gigantic tree growing out of the floor and having broken through the glass up top. Off to the side is the playwright himself. We introduce ourselves as the bride's wedding party, and the playwright narrates our arrival and the beginning of the ceremony. The body we brought with us animates and shuffles up next to him, and a skeletal priest appears and begins to officiate. It's at this point that we wonder why we're just standing and watching this and attack him.
Our initial volley doesn't take him out and he narrates the guests standing and moving to defend the groom from these invaders, upon which a group of 30 or so shadow skeletons appear and begin moving towards us. It is at this point that my character, the Bard, has an idea. She shouts out in her best performance-speak that the guests on the bride's side of the room see the bride's party attacking the groom and join in on their side, helping to fight the now-villainous groom. The necromantic energies filling the place hear a trained actor speaking the narration and respond, and so 15 of the shadow skeletons turn and begin fighting the other 15, leaving us to continue fighting the playwright.
After a little while the playwright shouts out again that his muse cannot stand to see such a disruption to his work and comes to assist in dispatching the intruders. The giant tree then begins to animate, roots tearing out of the ground and more glass shattering above it as it starts to move towards us, branches reaching down. My Bard shouts out again, that the muse despairs to see its influence bent and twisted to serve such a selfish purpose, deciding to put an end to the creature that misused it so much. The tree stops briefly then shudders forward again, its branches closing around the playwright and lifting him into the air while starting to squeeze him. He responds by using magic to break the branches apart, shouting out that the muse had no purpose until he came along, giving its inspiration form when instead there would be nothingness. The tree begins to move towards us again, its remaining branches only barely being held off by the rest of the party.
The Bard shouts out her final narrative, that the muse was so angry about being misused that a limbo state of nonexistence would seem almost like promotion, taking it upon itself to end the nightmare that its misuse has caused. The tree turns back to the playwright and lets out a loud groan as it tips forward, its branches shattering even more of the ceiling and its trunk crashing through the wall, the playwright getting smashed completely underneath it.
The animated bride and priest collapse to the ground, the shadow skeletons that had still been fighting all vanish. The opera house begins to collapse since much of its structure has been damaged by the tree, combined with the dissipating of the necromantic energy ceasing to hold up the broken and rotting supports. We quickly run out, my Bard stopping to collect up the playwright's notes and rantings. After all he had been quite famous before he went crazy and had been banished. Completing his final unreleased play could give her quite a bit of fame down the road.
That's how you kill a necromancer. Be a better actor than him then drop a tree on his face.
What about an undead warlock?
As they died once what's once more?
undead beings have no soul, and i doubt whatever the warlock bargained with is going to let it come back as a wraith or something so it's never really come up.
So is an Evangelion basically a flesh golem whose chem is a scrap of paper that says "I hate my dad"
I would say that the process of creating Evangelions has more in common with demonsummoning. Except instead of summoning a force of formless ur-chaos you're instead molding a human soul&DNA and whatever an angel is into...whatever it is you find at the core of an evangelion. Regardless you have a process where you're trying to harness a multidimensional force by forcing it into a specific shape, give it order and by applying order you apply control. As long as the wards hold the shape holds, and as long as the shape holds you retain control.
Hint: If you see a demon start to bubble, bulge or mutate. Run. It might not help, but unless you're a badass demonsummoner capable of improvising something better than your opponents prepared best, it's still your best bet. You also have the advantage in that the demon is going to try to kill its summoner first unless someone gets in its way.
"The western world sips from a poisonous cocktail: Polarisation, populism, protectionism and post-truth"
-Antje Jackelén, Archbishop of the Church of Sweden
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Tommy2Handswhat is this where am iRegistered Userregular
Unrelated to the topic on undead commanders but have we had a thread on angels yet? I'd imagine that from time to time it must be useful to have some knowledge pertaining to killing the holiest of holies.
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Tommy2Handswhat is this where am iRegistered Userregular
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Brilliant. That way you won't have to make good on your promises. Well, unless they happen to be self resurrecting necromancers.
Either way, I think "Aunt Maude got eaten by the wardrobe that she bought from the Mimic Ranch outside of town" might come up as a hook in a future D&D game.
You keep what you kill!
I'm gonna furnish my entire house in mimic corpses!
mimics are living aberrations that take the shape of mundane things to trick people. very different than a golem.
I was planning to do "how to fight a high level mummy" next, but maybe golems?
The entire store is an Ancient mimic. The game of luck itself is a con.
-Antje Jackelén, Archbishop of the Church of Sweden
okay, but this is very important
if the construct has sentience, of any level, it is no longer a golem
if you disagree on this we must do battle
Are you conflating sapience with sentience?
WANDS AT DAWN
See also my edit, regarding conflation of sentience and sapience.
It can ambulate however you like it to, but if you're not risking a full Prague situation with every creation should you fail to do your work properly then you are infusing an imp or a spirit into a humanoid platform, not constructing a golem
then what would it be?
It's a fairly broad category where typically things are only not in it due to specific clarifications. many undead could fit into the category but because the undead being rules removes it from being a golem it's not listed under golem.
a sapient golem would still be a golem because the current definition of sapient being doesn't remove it from any other category outside of "kill on sight" though it doesn't stop it from being re-added to that list.
The Lord of Under-Mountain for example is a sapient golem, it wasn't created from putting a living being inside of it either, more the spell went awry and in time the hulking titanium golem became self aware and took over the warren. It is not on the kill on sight list because of complicated reasons.
Jake the Roper is also a sapient golem, and is on the kill on sight list because it needs to die for all that murder.
In closing, if it quacks like a duck, walks like a duck, but can do advanced maths it's still a duck, it's just a very smart duck and we should try to be friends with that duck. and give it tiny glasses and a lab coat because that would be fucking adorable.
Until it starts trying to raise the dead.
Then it gets put on the list.
You dare oppose the Great Necromallard?
I very carefully did not specify what list.
Maybe the Necromallard goes on the "Kill on sight" list.
Maybe the Necromallard goes on the "Future benevolent godking of the planet, do not anger" list.
Maybe a third list, one involving being the recipient of large quantities of bread crumbs. Ah yiss. Mutha fukin' bread crumbs.
Only time, and the Necromallard, will tell.
What about the Drake Lich?
When we arrived we found an old, dilapidated opera house, the entire place humming with necromantic energy. As we make our way through it occasionally a voice would call out from the air, describing a narrative which would then play out via skeletal/zombie minions. On the stage were a group of these, reenacting a scene in which a male zombie woos a female zombie before a larger zombie brute comes in and pushes him away, laughing before taking the female zombie off-stage. The voice narrating all the while.
At the very back of the Opera House there was a large atrium-style room, with a glass ceiling and a gigantic tree growing out of the floor and having broken through the glass up top. Off to the side is the playwright himself. We introduce ourselves as the bride's wedding party, and the playwright narrates our arrival and the beginning of the ceremony. The body we brought with us animates and shuffles up next to him, and a skeletal priest appears and begins to officiate. It's at this point that we wonder why we're just standing and watching this and attack him.
Our initial volley doesn't take him out and he narrates the guests standing and moving to defend the groom from these invaders, upon which a group of 30 or so shadow skeletons appear and begin moving towards us. It is at this point that my character, the Bard, has an idea. She shouts out in her best performance-speak that the guests on the bride's side of the room see the bride's party attacking the groom and join in on their side, helping to fight the now-villainous groom. The necromantic energies filling the place hear a trained actor speaking the narration and respond, and so 15 of the shadow skeletons turn and begin fighting the other 15, leaving us to continue fighting the playwright.
After a little while the playwright shouts out again that his muse cannot stand to see such a disruption to his work and comes to assist in dispatching the intruders. The giant tree then begins to animate, roots tearing out of the ground and more glass shattering above it as it starts to move towards us, branches reaching down. My Bard shouts out again, that the muse despairs to see its influence bent and twisted to serve such a selfish purpose, deciding to put an end to the creature that misused it so much. The tree stops briefly then shudders forward again, its branches closing around the playwright and lifting him into the air while starting to squeeze him. He responds by using magic to break the branches apart, shouting out that the muse had no purpose until he came along, giving its inspiration form when instead there would be nothingness. The tree begins to move towards us again, its remaining branches only barely being held off by the rest of the party.
The Bard shouts out her final narrative, that the muse was so angry about being misused that a limbo state of nonexistence would seem almost like promotion, taking it upon itself to end the nightmare that its misuse has caused. The tree turns back to the playwright and lets out a loud groan as it tips forward, its branches shattering even more of the ceiling and its trunk crashing through the wall, the playwright getting smashed completely underneath it.
The animated bride and priest collapse to the ground, the shadow skeletons that had still been fighting all vanish. The opera house begins to collapse since much of its structure has been damaged by the tree, combined with the dissipating of the necromantic energy ceasing to hold up the broken and rotting supports. We quickly run out, my Bard stopping to collect up the playwright's notes and rantings. After all he had been quite famous before he went crazy and had been banished. Completing his final unreleased play could give her quite a bit of fame down the road.
That's how you kill a necromancer. Be a better actor than him then drop a tree on his face.
Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup isnt real
To get perfect IVs and Evs
No, it's a flesh golem whose chem reads
Same thing, really.
As they died once what's once more?
undead beings have no soul, and i doubt whatever the warlock bargained with is going to let it come back as a wraith or something so it's never really come up.
I would say that the process of creating Evangelions has more in common with demonsummoning. Except instead of summoning a force of formless ur-chaos you're instead molding a human soul&DNA and whatever an angel is into...whatever it is you find at the core of an evangelion. Regardless you have a process where you're trying to harness a multidimensional force by forcing it into a specific shape, give it order and by applying order you apply control. As long as the wards hold the shape holds, and as long as the shape holds you retain control.
Hint: If you see a demon start to bubble, bulge or mutate. Run. It might not help, but unless you're a badass demonsummoner capable of improvising something better than your opponents prepared best, it's still your best bet. You also have the advantage in that the demon is going to try to kill its summoner first unless someone gets in its way.
-Antje Jackelén, Archbishop of the Church of Sweden
C'mon Tommy, let's go kill god