My friend is in New Jersey and works at a university. She had a student who came out as trans to her, and asked if she knew any resources for transition.
She asked me if I knew any, but to be honest my transition plan was very deeply integrated with quebec medicare policies, and I don't really know what could help this person in the USA.
Do any american trans people here have resources I could send on to my friend to give to this person?
Have them look for a local trans advocacy group, PFLAG group, or see if the transgender law center has any info that is useful for their area? Seems like name change and marker updates and birth cert etc all vary from state to state
Yeah. ‘Homosexual’ gets used by religious right types a lot when they want to seem like they are being polite.
This guy is a very red state/country culture person. I uncharitably assume he is a right-wing Christian but I actually don’t know, so I can’t say for certain.
I will be glad to be rid of him but I’m really pissed he kicked me off a contract where I was delivering excellent technical work and I have started an HR investigation into the matter.
I’m so angry at work right now and very tired and yet here I am staying later than I need to to start some code running because I want to make sure my record of technical performance is fucking impeccable so I can slap him in the face with it if he ever tries to make me look bad
I start HRT 9 days after my 40th birthday which is next month. I know the feels on waiting a while.
Also the interview went poorly. The interviewer asked a bunch of questions about specific commands and their structure. Apparently according to my friend no one else hired in by this guy got those kinds of questions.
That is what the man command was invented for but not for this trans lady.
Seidkona on
Mostly just huntin' monsters.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
I start HRT 9 days after my 40th birthday which is next month. I know the feels on waiting a while.
Also the interview went poorly. The interviewer asked a bunch of questions about specific commands and their structure. Apparently according to my friend no one else hired in by this guy got those kinds of questions.
That is what the man command was invented for but not for this trans lady.
I start HRT 9 days after my 40th birthday which is next month. I know the feels on waiting a while.
Also the interview went poorly. The interviewer asked a bunch of questions about specific commands and their structure. Apparently according to my friend no one else hired in by this guy got those kinds of questions.
That is what the man command was invented for but not for this trans lady.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that BS!
Thanks..not been the best week.
I truly appreciate the support of everyone here, it's helped make it easier.
Mostly just huntin' monsters.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
Mucking around with presentation some more. I still don’t know how to take good selfies and it’s been so long since I did eye makeup that I went a bit too Winter Soldier. My hair looks good though
I was single this year, so I ate pizza and played video games.
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FencingsaxIt is difficult to get a man to understand, when his salary depends upon his not understandingGNU Terry PratchettRegistered Userregular
That is some Good Hair
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Kane Red RobeMaster of MagicArcanusRegistered Userregular
It's been a couple weeks since I put my pronouns in my work email signature and not a single person has noticed or at least brought it up. Not sure if I should be relieved or worried.
Last night, the hubby surprised me and our third with t-shirts for Valentine's Day.
He came out wearing a shield symbol shirt (tank), and gave me the healer shirt, and the bf the DPS shirt.
Each role also has a second connotation that is a bit of a running joke among us and some friends with play WoW with, if you read between the lines, but by and large, I'm usually the healer (for WoW and D&D sessions), the bf is the DPS and the hubby is a tank, so it all works.
Last night, the hubby surprised me and our third with t-shirts for Valentine's Day.
He came out wearing a shield symbol shirt (tank), and gave me the healer shirt, and the bf the DPS shirt.
Each role also has a second connotation that is a bit of a running joke among us and some friends with play WoW with, if you read between the lines, but by and large, I'm usually the healer (for WoW and D&D sessions), the bf is the DPS and the hubby is a tank, so it all works.
One of these days I want to get around to writing up my thoughts on how my experience with MMO roles and my weirdly intense identity as a tank lines up with my experience with gender. "I am a tank, no matter how many people insist that being a paladin defines me as a healer" evoked such a fire in me back in the day. Not sure if it's something anyone would care to read, though.
Last night, the hubby surprised me and our third with t-shirts for Valentine's Day.
He came out wearing a shield symbol shirt (tank), and gave me the healer shirt, and the bf the DPS shirt.
Each role also has a second connotation that is a bit of a running joke among us and some friends with play WoW with, if you read between the lines, but by and large, I'm usually the healer (for WoW and D&D sessions), the bf is the DPS and the hubby is a tank, so it all works.
One of these days I want to get around to writing up my thoughts on how my experience with MMO roles and my weirdly intense identity as a tank lines up with my experience with gender. "I am a tank, no matter how many people insist that being a paladin defines me as a healer" evoked such a fire in me back in the day. Not sure if it's something anyone would care to read, though.
I would 100% read that; I love thoughts on game identities and how they interplay with life identities
Steam, LoL: credeiki
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MsAnthropyThe Lady of Pain Breaks the Rhythm, Breaks the Rhythm, Breaks the RhythmThe City of FlowersRegistered Userregular
Last night, the hubby surprised me and our third with t-shirts for Valentine's Day.
He came out wearing a shield symbol shirt (tank), and gave me the healer shirt, and the bf the DPS shirt.
Each role also has a second connotation that is a bit of a running joke among us and some friends with play WoW with, if you read between the lines, but by and large, I'm usually the healer (for WoW and D&D sessions), the bf is the DPS and the hubby is a tank, so it all works.
One of these days I want to get around to writing up my thoughts on how my experience with MMO roles and my weirdly intense identity as a tank lines up with my experience with gender. "I am a tank, no matter how many people insist that being a paladin defines me as a healer" evoked such a fire in me back in the day. Not sure if it's something anyone would care to read, though.
I would 100% read that; I love thoughts on game identities and how they interplay with life identities
RPGs, both computer and tabletop were soooo important in me figuring all this stuff out. The alien and intimidating Eladrin Paladin | Feylock in the 4e Forgotten Realms game (the real-life inspiration of which drove my choice of name), my Trill Captain in Star Trek: Online, FemShep, my Inquisitor in DA:I, and my unearthly Noldo Spearmaiden in The One Ring... they all helped me get to the point where I felt I could transition and be the kind of person I wanted to be. They are all a part of me and I love all of them dearly.
Being misgendered once can tank an otherwise really good day for me.
I wish I passed. Like... at all. Worst part of it is I'm on hormones and have been for a while but I guess they're just not making me look female enough.
I'd try to put more effort into being really femme with my outfit and put on makeup and such... but most days my brain problems make it hard enough to just shower and leave my apartment.
I managed to talk to a trans woman who had her legal gender changed but still isn't on hormones. I don't yet have all details of her story, but it seems they do indeed lock access to HRT behind the Ministry of Health's guidelines. Which also means a large amount of associated financial costs.
I also continue to be worried about the wait times, I was told on Wednesday that the psychiatric department where I'd like to seek help only has two hours per week set aside for "sexual medicine" (which trans people have to share).
Going through some old blog entries, end of 2013
"Stopped feeling angsty about any identity shit; that's for teenagers on tumblr; I can wear whatever clothes, cut my hair off, fancy whoever, don't care."
....lol that was aspirational, also, so fucking dismissive of this stuff; eek....
I wonder if actually it had gotten confused with the other end of year takeaway:
"Realizing that I don't particularly want to go into academia. The lifestyle (especially getting there, not necessarily when professor) is not worth the imagined prestige. I would have not realized this if not for finally living with Dan; I didn't value my Danless free time highly enough to derail my career plans, although perhaps if I had had such a long commute in Boston I would have felt the same....
I hope I will have a very solid date for graduation next year--or that I will have graduated."
I really think my identity and life path as a scientist took up so much of my brain I couldn't figure out anything else while I was doing that. It all just makes me a bit sad to think about.
I managed to talk to a trans woman who had her legal gender changed but still isn't on hormones. I don't yet have all details of her story, but it seems they do indeed lock access to HRT behind the Ministry of Health's guidelines. Which also means a large amount of associated financial costs.
I also continue to be worried about the wait times, I was told on Wednesday that the psychiatric department where I'd like to seek help only has two hours per week set aside for "sexual medicine" (which trans people have to share).
that's the most bald-faced method of denying access to certain services someone in charge doesn't like while still technically providing those services I've ever seen
They need to please stop telling me to be patient with HR . Week three and they cannot even commit any kind of date structure back to me. I guess we can't make people understand but this isn't something I just want to do. This is something I need to do and not doing it is becoming increasingly painful.
Also my arm hair was an incredible source of dysphoria so I shaved it off. No one has noticed my hands and I am just wearing long sleeves for now.
They take too long and my name will be changed, I'll be on hormones and have my hair styled before they bother to come up with any plan.
Mostly just huntin' monsters.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
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Erin The RedThe Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMABaton Rouge, LARegistered Userregular
They need to please stop telling me to be patient with HR . Week three and they cannot even commit any kind of date structure back to me. I guess we can't make people understand but this isn't something I just want to do. This is something I need to do and not doing it is becoming increasingly painful.
Also my arm hair was an incredible source of dysphoria so I shaved it off. No one has noticed my hands and I am just wearing long sleeves for now.
They take too long and my name will be changed, I'll be on hormones and have my hair styled before they bother to come up with any plan.
I'm really sorry that HR is taking so long. I know that's got to be frustrating as hell. Do you need their sign off before you can change anything? Or can you tell them to shove it?
Posts
Have them look for a local trans advocacy group, PFLAG group, or see if the transgender law center has any info that is useful for their area? Seems like name change and marker updates and birth cert etc all vary from state to state
This guy is a very red state/country culture person. I uncharitably assume he is a right-wing Christian but I actually don’t know, so I can’t say for certain.
I will be glad to be rid of him but I’m really pissed he kicked me off a contract where I was delivering excellent technical work and I have started an HR investigation into the matter.
I’m so angry at work right now and very tired and yet here I am staying later than I need to to start some code running because I want to make sure my record of technical performance is fucking impeccable so I can slap him in the face with it if he ever tries to make me look bad
Also the interview went poorly. The interviewer asked a bunch of questions about specific commands and their structure. Apparently according to my friend no one else hired in by this guy got those kinds of questions.
That is what the man command was invented for but not for this trans lady.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
I'm sorry you had to deal with that BS!
Thanks..not been the best week.
I truly appreciate the support of everyone here, it's helped make it easier.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
I love all you queerdos
That sounds good. I want some hot dogs
I woke up today and found the remainder sitting on the counter where I'd left them. Oops.
Mine had mac & cheese and bacon on top
So good
I felt like a gosh dang cryptid.
Steam ID - VeldrinD | SS Post | Wishlist
Lots figments of their imagination around here. Must be wild, being so imaginative.
Just one big sexual desert
Steam ID - VeldrinD | SS Post | Wishlist
I misread that as sexual dessert at first.
Not sure if I need new glasses or to finish all my greens..
Ocean, tears and heartbreak soup
Half alive in a whitecap foam
Half in love with a white half moon
I've NEVER received flowers before
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
Oh my god
I think I want that + chili
Thanks. . .
Sonic for lunch it is.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
Bad call, he'll just eat all the hotdogs himself and you won't get any. Best to go to lunch alone
He came out wearing a shield symbol shirt (tank), and gave me the healer shirt, and the bf the DPS shirt.
Each role also has a second connotation that is a bit of a running joke among us and some friends with play WoW with, if you read between the lines, but by and large, I'm usually the healer (for WoW and D&D sessions), the bf is the DPS and the hubby is a tank, so it all works.
Steam: TheArcadeBear
But it's dangerous to go alone.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
One of these days I want to get around to writing up my thoughts on how my experience with MMO roles and my weirdly intense identity as a tank lines up with my experience with gender. "I am a tank, no matter how many people insist that being a paladin defines me as a healer" evoked such a fire in me back in the day. Not sure if it's something anyone would care to read, though.
I would 100% read that; I love thoughts on game identities and how they interplay with life identities
RPGs, both computer and tabletop were soooo important in me figuring all this stuff out. The alien and intimidating Eladrin Paladin | Feylock in the 4e Forgotten Realms game (the real-life inspiration of which drove my choice of name), my Trill Captain in Star Trek: Online, FemShep, my Inquisitor in DA:I, and my unearthly Noldo Spearmaiden in The One Ring... they all helped me get to the point where I felt I could transition and be the kind of person I wanted to be. They are all a part of me and I love all of them dearly.
"The only real politics I knew was that if a guy liked Hitler, I’d beat the stuffing out of him and that would be it." -- Jack Kirby
I wish I passed. Like... at all. Worst part of it is I'm on hormones and have been for a while but I guess they're just not making me look female enough.
I'd try to put more effort into being really femme with my outfit and put on makeup and such... but most days my brain problems make it hard enough to just shower and leave my apartment.
*hugs*
I’m pretty positive I’ll just...never pass. It sucks but it’s just kind of the shit hand I was dealt, the shit body I was dealt
Steam
I also continue to be worried about the wait times, I was told on Wednesday that the psychiatric department where I'd like to seek help only has two hours per week set aside for "sexual medicine" (which trans people have to share).
"Stopped feeling angsty about any identity shit; that's for teenagers on tumblr; I can wear whatever clothes, cut my hair off, fancy whoever, don't care."
....lol that was aspirational, also, so fucking dismissive of this stuff; eek....
I wonder if actually it had gotten confused with the other end of year takeaway:
"Realizing that I don't particularly want to go into academia. The lifestyle (especially getting there, not necessarily when professor) is not worth the imagined prestige. I would have not realized this if not for finally living with Dan; I didn't value my Danless free time highly enough to derail my career plans, although perhaps if I had had such a long commute in Boston I would have felt the same....
I hope I will have a very solid date for graduation next year--or that I will have graduated."
I really think my identity and life path as a scientist took up so much of my brain I couldn't figure out anything else while I was doing that. It all just makes me a bit sad to think about.
that's the most bald-faced method of denying access to certain services someone in charge doesn't like while still technically providing those services I've ever seen
They need to please stop telling me to be patient with HR . Week three and they cannot even commit any kind of date structure back to me. I guess we can't make people understand but this isn't something I just want to do. This is something I need to do and not doing it is becoming increasingly painful.
Also my arm hair was an incredible source of dysphoria so I shaved it off. No one has noticed my hands and I am just wearing long sleeves for now.
They take too long and my name will be changed, I'll be on hormones and have my hair styled before they bother to come up with any plan.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
I'm really sorry that HR is taking so long. I know that's got to be frustrating as hell. Do you need their sign off before you can change anything? Or can you tell them to shove it?