I'm 41, I have had several times in my life people lie to my face and screw me over. I don't hate myself. Like I'm glad that worked for you, but what you're saying here is basically the equivalent of telling a woman to smile more. I'd appreciate if you didn't with me thank you.
I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.
I'm 41, I have had several times in my life people lie to my face and screw me over. I don't hate myself. Like I'm glad that worked for you, but what you're saying here is basically the equivalent of telling a woman to smile more. I'd appreciate if you didn't with me thank you.
I talked about my personal experiences because something you said reminded me of myself. I gave you no advice ever.
I'm 41, I have had several times in my life people lie to my face and screw me over. I don't hate myself. Like I'm glad that worked for you, but what you're saying here is basically the equivalent of telling a woman to smile more. I'd appreciate if you didn't with me thank you.
My response to strangers or acquaintances leading off with something like "how's it going," is "good, how are you?" It's polite and moves things along. If I ask a friend, I generally do want to know
I'm 41, I have had several times in my life people lie to my face and screw me over. I don't hate myself. Like I'm glad that worked for you, but what you're saying here is basically the equivalent of telling a woman to smile more. I'd appreciate if you didn't with me thank you.
I talked about my personal experiences because something you said reminded me of myself. I gave you no advice ever.
Come on, man.
And now I want to tell you about my late Uncle Alex. He was my father’s kid brother, a childless graduate of Harvard who was an honest life insurance salesman in Indianapolis. He was well-read and wise. And his principal complaint about other human beings was that they so seldom noticed it when they were happy. So when we were drinking lemonade under an apple tree in the summer, say, and talking lazily about this and that, almost buzzing like honeybees, Uncle Alex would suddenly interrupt the agreeable blather to exclaim, If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is. So I do the same now, and so do my kids and grandkids. And I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.
+16
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StraightziHere we may reign secure, and in my choice,To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered Userregular
I mean it earnestly unless I am at work, in which case I am definitely using it as polite filler
Couple of weeks ago I was having a "My battery's drained, I dunno if I have chatting with strangers in me" day. I was out on a picket line, had my headphones in, I was really counting on being left alone.
Some guy started chatting to me anyway, I was kind of annoyed. We made polite small chat, I eagerly awaited all this being over, and then he started talking about his last gig. He was a writer on the MST3K reboot, we started talking about the process of writing on that show, it ended up being super interesting! I'd have never had the chat if I'd listened to my instincts and tuned people out, it was a very cool reminder that I need to keep myself open to things. I listened to my podcast later, it was fine.
Also MAN that sounds like a hard gig. (everyone's nice, it's just a lot of grinding work)
when i ask how's it going, it's not so much i don't mean it, in that i don't expect an actual answer. it's a transitionary phrase, that like, if it lands? awesome, if not, i'll just move on to the next topic.
i also have that philly thing where silence just drives me bonkers, so talking to strangers is a survival tactic more than anything.
i am much like rocky balboa in this way, only i can't ramble to the point there is no dead air in a conversation.
look it gets quiet and i gotta think and neither one of us wants that
+8
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facetiousa wit so dryit shits sandRegistered Userregular
As some of you may remember, I work at the largest and most popular living history museum in the world, where I'm in period clothing talking to guests, giving tours etc. I love my job (mostly), and I love talking to guests, but it's still extremely draining to be so "on" for so long, and interact with thousands of people every week. In my off time, I frequently try to isolate myself as much as possible to recharge.
My not always stable mental health is a problem, too, because when I'm "on" I project this happy, positive persona - and I do genuinely feel that way, in the moment, but when I go home at the end of the day and that goes away, I sometimes feel my depression all the more strongly from it. And sometimes I feel like I'm two completely different people and I can't always fit them together and it gets really confusing.
uhhh I don't know where I was going with this exactly but anyway while community and companionship are extremely important, I don't know that humans were meant to interact with so many thousands of people so constantly. I'm actually considering quitting this career I've been in for over a decade, and which I have so much love and passion for, because it's so physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually draining even when I feel such a strong fulfilment in doing good in the world and helping people better understand history, including the stories that have for so long been ignored or buried.
(which is not even getting into the stress of this career after the last few years of civil war and people - including politicians - trying to suppress these stories)
"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
My natural inclination is to hyper-streamline every social communication so that it’s just over, and I’ve gotten pretty good at doing that in my life (starting from the ‘Why are you asking how I’m doing, you have zero interest in that’ position in middle school). The fastest way to get out is pleasant banality, activating the rhythms people anticipate and not starting a new volley during the lull. Honestly, you can match conversational cadence with no content and people will generally just roll with it.
But frictionless existence is pretty fucking boring and unsatisfying, so I fight that impulse on occasion - I think a lot of social interaction is borderline automated, most people aren’t particularly thrilled about that, and occasionally blowing that up by being more open and weird than expected is usually warmly received in a cold universe where everybody is kind of terrified they’re doing it all fucking wrong.
OneAngryPossum on
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PiptheFairFrequently not in boats.Registered Userregular
I ran into a guy at work that I don't see that often anymore because we're on different floors, and we caught up for a minute and when he asked how I was doing I did the "heh, living the dream" thing we always do that's code for "I am barely hanging in there"
And when he got off the elevator he turned to me and said, very sincerely, "hey man.... take care of yourself"
And I was like shit, is it more obvious than I thought?
Whenever someone asks me how it's going I usually answer honestly and follow it up with an amusing recent anecdote or a low stakes grievance we can commiserate over
If I'm doing well then I get to share a bit of that happiness and if I'm not doing well then a shared venting usually improves both our moods
The trick is not repeating any story throughout the day, breaks up the monotony a little
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Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
i also have that philly thing where silence just drives me bonkers, so talking to strangers is a survival tactic more than anything.
Conversely, people who feel the need to keep talking because they obviously hate a silence make me immediately get nervous and clam up like a mute
God, people who keep trying to talk to me when I'm not giving anything back drive me bonkers. Like I'll be polite as I can and I'll do small talk sometimes but sometimes I just don't have it in me to maintain any kind of interaction and when people keep trying it feels like they're standing 6 inches in front of my face repeatedly poking me.
i'd say i'm probably more comfortable in silence and it's absolutely painful and tiring for me to actually have to lead and steer a conversation
but it's always a good feeling to know when somebody cares and the only way to get that interaction is to actually open yourself up
doesn't need to be soul baring but for example at work when people asked how it was going or how i was i'd reply with "I'm here" when work was feeling unbearable and the few folks who genuinely cared could pick up on that and at least offer some word of support
+1
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PiptheFairFrequently not in boats.Registered Userregular
i also have that philly thing where silence just drives me bonkers, so talking to strangers is a survival tactic more than anything.
Conversely, people who feel the need to keep talking because they obviously hate a silence make me immediately get nervous and clam up like a mute
God, people who keep trying to talk to me when I'm not giving anything back drive me bonkers. Like I'll be polite as I can and I'll do small talk sometimes but sometimes I just don't have it in me to maintain any kind of interaction and when people keep trying it feels like they're standing 6 inches in front of my face repeatedly poking me.
We had a contractor over doing drywall work (who from the way he carried himself, I think might've been a former inmate?), and he spent three straight days calling me "boss" and "sir" and "chief" and meaning it, and giving endless compliments to myself/family/property, and politely requesting to smoke 100 feet near the property, and following me with a broom and dustpan everywhere I walked, and he seemed like the sweetest fella you'd ever met who loved his grandkids and took obvious pride in his work and his standard of customer service, and by the morning of day two I had holed myself up in a nearby closet because I just couldn't anymore
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Indie Winterdie KräheRudi Hurzlmeier (German, b. 1952)Registered Userregular
i also have that philly thing where silence just drives me bonkers, so talking to strangers is a survival tactic more than anything.
Conversely, people who feel the need to keep talking because they obviously hate a silence make me immediately get nervous and clam up like a mute
God, people who keep trying to talk to me when I'm not giving anything back drive me bonkers. Like I'll be polite as I can and I'll do small talk sometimes but sometimes I just don't have it in me to maintain any kind of interaction and when people keep trying it feels like they're standing 6 inches in front of my face repeatedly poking me.
We had a contractor over doing drywall work (who from the way he carried himself, I think might've been a former inmate?), and he spent three straight days calling me "boss" and "sir" and "chief" and meaning it, and giving endless compliments to myself/family/property, and politely requesting to smoke 100 feet near the property, and following me with a broom and dustpan everywhere I walked, and he seemed like the sweetest fella you'd ever met who loved his grandkids and took obvious pride in his work and his standard of customer service, and by the morning of day two I had holed myself up in a nearby closet because I just couldn't anymore
yeah he was trying to go straight if he was old enough for grandkids, otherwise he might've just been out of the service
Finally caught up with this thread after weeks of catching up from the previous thread.
Why is shit so bad and always happening?!
This thread is basically the quarantine chamber for se++. I think we all know what we're getting into when we click on it
But also to answer the question:
We’re a nation literally founded as an extractive colonial project that exploited the resources of the American continent, using genocide to clear out the original occupants of the land and exploitative labor practices ranging from the mere abuse of wage labor to literally owning human beings and their progeny through generations as a captive labor force, and our entire history has been those oppressed groups trying to desperately claw freedoms from the owner class who founded and inherited this project, all while the ruling class, slowly acquiescing to some of those demands, often made with the threat of revolutionary force backing it to some level or another, refusing to meaningfully and truthfully engage with that fetid legacy of evil…
…and then a chunk of them go “why should we abide the lessers? They need to be put back in their place and remember the proper order of things.” And it turns out they have a lot of money, power and resources to work to rip out all the changes and progress, but polite liberal society says you have to still work with them and through proper channels because some of them are good at putting on a good mask about what horrible monsters they are who’d willingly go back to the days of chattel slavery, if they could get away with it, in a heartbeat.
Finally caught up with this thread after weeks of catching up from the previous thread.
Why is shit so bad and always happening?!
This thread is basically the quarantine chamber for se++. I think we all know what we're getting into when we click on it
But also to answer the question:
We’re a nation literally founded as an extractive colonial project that exploited the resources of the American continent, using genocide to clear out the original occupants of the land and exploitative labor practices ranging from the mere abuse of wage labor to literally owning human beings and their progeny through generations as a captive labor force, and our entire history has been those oppressed groups trying to desperately claw freedoms from the owner class who founded and inherited this project, all while the ruling class, slowly acquiescing to some of those demands, often made with the threat of revolutionary force backing it to some level or another, refusing to meaningfully and truthfully engage with that fetid legacy of evil…
…and then a chunk of them go “why should we abide the lessers? They need to be put back in their place and remember the proper order of things.” And it turns out they have a lot of money, power and resources to work to rip out all the changes and progress, but polite liberal society says you have to still work with them and through proper channels because some of them are good at putting on a good mask about what horrible monsters they are who’d willingly go back to the days of chattel slavery, if they could get away with it, in a heartbeat.
Also your cheeses are fuckin terrible
american cheese is the perfect melting cheese thank you very much
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pleasepaypreacher.net
I talked about my personal experiences because something you said reminded me of myself. I gave you no advice ever.
Come on, man.
Is it though
Disgusting
Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
Couple of weeks ago I was having a "My battery's drained, I dunno if I have chatting with strangers in me" day. I was out on a picket line, had my headphones in, I was really counting on being left alone.
Some guy started chatting to me anyway, I was kind of annoyed. We made polite small chat, I eagerly awaited all this being over, and then he started talking about his last gig. He was a writer on the MST3K reboot, we started talking about the process of writing on that show, it ended up being super interesting! I'd have never had the chat if I'd listened to my instincts and tuned people out, it was a very cool reminder that I need to keep myself open to things. I listened to my podcast later, it was fine.
Also MAN that sounds like a hard gig. (everyone's nice, it's just a lot of grinding work)
i also have that philly thing where silence just drives me bonkers, so talking to strangers is a survival tactic more than anything.
i am much like rocky balboa in this way, only i can't ramble to the point there is no dead air in a conversation.
i aspire to get there one day, though
Conversely, people who feel the need to keep talking because they obviously hate a silence make me immediately get nervous and clam up like a mute
My not always stable mental health is a problem, too, because when I'm "on" I project this happy, positive persona - and I do genuinely feel that way, in the moment, but when I go home at the end of the day and that goes away, I sometimes feel my depression all the more strongly from it. And sometimes I feel like I'm two completely different people and I can't always fit them together and it gets really confusing.
uhhh I don't know where I was going with this exactly but anyway while community and companionship are extremely important, I don't know that humans were meant to interact with so many thousands of people so constantly. I'm actually considering quitting this career I've been in for over a decade, and which I have so much love and passion for, because it's so physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually draining even when I feel such a strong fulfilment in doing good in the world and helping people better understand history, including the stories that have for so long been ignored or buried.
(which is not even getting into the stress of this career after the last few years of civil war and people - including politicians - trying to suppress these stories)
Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
!!
my family says that, our full version is "fair to middlin', partly cloudy, chance of rain." because we are not an optimistic family.
But frictionless existence is pretty fucking boring and unsatisfying, so I fight that impulse on occasion - I think a lot of social interaction is borderline automated, most people aren’t particularly thrilled about that, and occasionally blowing that up by being more open and weird than expected is usually warmly received in a cold universe where everybody is kind of terrified they’re doing it all fucking wrong.
And when he got off the elevator he turned to me and said, very sincerely, "hey man.... take care of yourself"
And I was like shit, is it more obvious than I thought?
Getting into somebody’s deal is a risky proposition, but worst case you usually get a story out of it, or murdered, so win win.
If I'm doing well then I get to share a bit of that happiness and if I'm not doing well then a shared venting usually improves both our moods
The trick is not repeating any story throughout the day, breaks up the monotony a little
God, people who keep trying to talk to me when I'm not giving anything back drive me bonkers. Like I'll be polite as I can and I'll do small talk sometimes but sometimes I just don't have it in me to maintain any kind of interaction and when people keep trying it feels like they're standing 6 inches in front of my face repeatedly poking me.
AJ is one of the smartest people I know, bad bit
I went too far, sorry aj
this is true, but for me, the phrase "what's your deal?" has only ever led to shoving.
Interesting shoving?
I don't know if I could physically say the sentence "what's your deal" without it warping in my mouth into a "hey buddy, what's your fucking deal?"
but it's always a good feeling to know when somebody cares and the only way to get that interaction is to actually open yourself up
doesn't need to be soul baring but for example at work when people asked how it was going or how i was i'd reply with "I'm here" when work was feeling unbearable and the few folks who genuinely cared could pick up on that and at least offer some word of support
you have a being bullied kink? have I got the manga writer for you!
Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
To be fair though you got a lot of us chumps bringing down the average
We had a contractor over doing drywall work (who from the way he carried himself, I think might've been a former inmate?), and he spent three straight days calling me "boss" and "sir" and "chief" and meaning it, and giving endless compliments to myself/family/property, and politely requesting to smoke 100 feet near the property, and following me with a broom and dustpan everywhere I walked, and he seemed like the sweetest fella you'd ever met who loved his grandkids and took obvious pride in his work and his standard of customer service, and by the morning of day two I had holed myself up in a nearby closet because I just couldn't anymore
yeah he was trying to go straight if he was old enough for grandkids, otherwise he might've just been out of the service
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
american cheese is the perfect melting cheese thank you very much