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Penny Arcade - Comic - Star Trek Wars
Dog
Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
Penny Arcade - Comic - Star Trek Wars
Videogaming-related online strip by Mike Krahulik and Jerry Holkins. Includes news and commentary.
+6
Posts
*it doesn't matter if the star wars ships all hide in hyperspace like cowards, theres a few beings with that interdimensional access now. Hell, i think Wesley becomes a huge threat at that point...
Like, Admiral Ackbar is still a better captain than a force sensitive Borg.
But the thing about getting The Entire Universe involved, fighting for a single side, is that both settings probably have tons of living planets and star eaters and crazy stuff. And Star Wars wouldn't just have a bunch of Force sensitive stuff, it would have The Force, unified, fighting on behalf of its universe in which it is an inviolable rule. The Borg wouldn't be Force Sensitive because there is no Force in their universe, and the Force is a character on the opposing team.
They got no shields, for one. Even an escort could shred several Star Destroyers.
The Star Wars universe is so incredibly stagnant technologically.
I have no intention to get involved in this debate, but what? Star Wars ships definitely have shields.
Unless this was a trick comment to get me to actually get involved in this debate, in which case well played I guess.
Pike would probably win in a cookout. Bu Sisko is the only one of two Captains invited to the cookout (the other being Captain Freeman).
MHWilds ID: JF9LL8L3
Hmmm I guess it depends on what kind of food is being made. They're certainly both contenders for sure.
Once the Borg assimilate some Jedi/Sith either all their midichlorians fuck off or the Borg have the Force now (or the Borg collective is corrupted from the inside by the new Force Ghost). Now could they assimilate other Force sensitives and train them in how to use the Force? That seems unlikely, without some kind of Force Ghost gestalt consciousness stuff happening in the Collective.
Star Trek characters routinely figure out unfamiliar technologies or phenomena from incomplete information completely in their heads.. Not even like your Spocks or Datas, but Harry Goddamn Kim could encounter an exotic elementary particle never before observed by humans and in a few minutes he's already accurately predicting its interactions with the long list of waves and beams he can make the ship emit if he fiddles with those little green memory cards.
This is ultimately Star Trek's trump card in any setting vs. setting battle. They will in short order know your tech better than you do and with the power of the magic meeting room they will come up with some daffy bullshit to nullify your advantages. Humans were barely even in space when they won a war against dudes with planet destroying super weapons from the future. And their guns weren't even cold when they fought the preeminent technological super power to a standstill and followed it up with two hundred years of cold to hot war with a crazy death cult who got a bunch of tech from the last guys, all with the power of Weird Space Shit.
If you dump a Space Marine chapter with all it's various seconded forces into Federation space, the first encounter might go their way. The 12th Fleet might be wiped out and a planet or two lost. But staggering loss of life does not slow down Starfleet when you've interrupted their comet surveys. By the next encounter Starfleet has figured out their tech without any need for incense burners. They've not only found those weird guns that the Imperium never knew their ships had until the machine spirits go haywire, they've figured out how to use the deflector dish to make it fire backwards into the ship. Oh you guys have psykers and once in a while one turns into a monster? Well the ethically questionable Vulcan from Starfleet Intelligence has figured out how to make them ALL transform by mind melding with one of them. Oh and he mind melded with a servitor and reawakened them all to their old personalities and they're all pissed, too. So have fun with that while we link up with Task Force Omega.
If you want to beat the Federation you need somebody like the Culture because it's not about power or numbers but speed - the war needs to be decisively won before the first commercial break. If Janeway gets everyone in the meeting room the power of hack writing will destroy you.
(Do I need to make a proper attribution to a tv show reference?)
-Tycho Brahe
Terrible news from 2021, then.
Eventually, Noah will start shaving. And then you know what that means.
I like the implication that there is a finite amount of hair in the universe and we all have to share it.
The same thing goes for denim. It’s why they sell pre-distressed jeans.
I mean, I can't deny your accusations of Hack writing on various Star Trek series. (The Voyager Episode Threshold is a huge example of this phenomenon) But, I do find it strangely fitting that you would name drop so much Warhammer 40k lore in a rant about hack writing.
40k is certainly full of hacky writing (I'm currently slogging through the Horus Heresy and hooo boy is it on display), but the thing about Star Trek's writing (hack but also a lot of its GOOD writing!) is that it takes everyone else's brand of hack writing and applies it to the enemies (they're never set back by their losses, their ships are huge and terrifying and unbeatable, etc), and then uses its own writing to explain why Starfleet still wins. Starfleet is certainly powerful and we occasionally see it's martial prowess on display, but we far more often see them win by technological mastery, guile, or straight up bullshit.
Kirk, Picard, Janeway, Archer, and Freeman all won fights by bluffing that they had a weapon the enemy didn't know about. In three of these cases the enemy was pretty sure it was a bluff but unwilling to take the chance. Riker destroyed the Borg cube just seconds before the destruction of Earth because they don't guard their off button. Picard repeats the feat a few years later by... they never even explain it, he just gives orders, is told the orders make no sense, and then the orders work perfectly. Hell, Sisko defeated a galaxy crushing doomsday fleet by putting a gun to his own head and telling Space God, "IMA FUCKIN DO IT WATCH ME!"
I have that DVD
Riker on Holodeck: Volume 27
The Rusty Trombone Sessions are volumes 29-36.