Again, might I suggest that the decision to invest in ones own new product, to leave the product out in case others want to invest, or to trash a product, be noted in bold cyan so that the next person in line knows when it's their turn to go?
Sorry, guys - had a day-long cable outage, internet was down. You've all got the go ahead to pitch and invest, and I'll be back this evening. Loving the products!
Ladies and Gentlemen, entrepreneurs of Robotic Sunshine Investments, I am not here to offer you some sort of gimmicky new invention. Oh no, far from it. I am here to offer something the likes of which nobody on this earth has ever seen. My name is Rend Miller-Goldstein, and I am on my way to produce the world's very first...
PatrioticLaserMusical
Patriotic Laser Musical - The Future in Entertainment
The Patriotic Laser Musical is the artistic brainchild of our time, capable of carrying our society into realms of entertainment never before experienced. As anyone who has seen a musical will tell you, they are engaging and artistically significant. Lives have been changed by productions such as Wicked, Rent, and other such masterpieces. However, what did those shows lack?
Well, investors, simply: Patriotic Lasers. Imagine, if you will! The scene opens up to soldiers fighting for the freedom of their country against invasion by a different country! BAM, begin musical number featuring the opposing forces walking up to the soldiers singing about their demise. Then, the refrain! The soldiers respond, lasers in the colors of the flag EVERYWHERE at once, shouting the patriotic message of freedom and defense against the wicked!
You would be a fool not to invest in the production of the very first Patriotic Laser Musical.
I will be Investing one of my own chips in this product.
lonelyahavaCall me Ahava ~~She/Her~~Move to New ZealandRegistered Userregular
edited March 2009
Ladies and Gentleman! Boys and Girls! And Wannabe Chefs of all Ages! Come one, come all and witness the most innovative technology in ktichen gadgets that has been invented in many years! But before I show you the brilliant and amazing device that will change how you prepare meals from this day forth, Answer these questions for me!
Have you ever gone to a fancy restaurant and had a delicious meal and wondered just how you can make it happen at home? Have you sat for hours on end on your couch and watched continual cooking shows, all the while trying to fingure out just how that chef has managed to cut those onions and celery so small and yet not lose chunks of flesh to those ultra sharp knives? Have you wanted to recreate a memorable first date meal for the woman of your dreams as the perfect setting for a marriage proposal, but were afraid of landing yourself in the emergency room due to your inept skills with knives and gadgets?
If you have answered yes to any or all of these questions, have no fear! We here at IKG have the solution for you! Allow me to introduce to you, the Mechanical Lubricated Safety Chef Copier!
This small hand-held device is everything that you've always wanted to help solve your problems in the kitchen. Allow me to demonstrate.
have you ever been in the situation where your grill flares into a billowing tower of smoke, suitable not for cooking, but for signalling to the other failed grill-masters in your area that you too are one of them?
Have you spent hours in the kitchen trying to simply slice one onion, but have been brought to tears not only because of the onion, but the heart-stopping fear of losing a finger to your dull knives?
Well, with the wonders of the Mechanical Lubricated Safety Chef Copier, those days are over! The MLSCC is the latest in DNA and brain-wave copying technology. Simply pull out the barcode tattoo form the packaging and apply it to your arm. The Barcode of the MLSCC has an integrated computer chip that will embed itself into your skin and send it's electrodes into your nervous system to connect to your brain.*
*please note: this technology has not been cleared by the FDA. May cause bleeding at the injection site, brain malfunctions, and the desire to continually say "I'm Sorry, I can't do that Dave."
The next step is very simple. Go to your favorite restaurant and speak to the chef there. Explain to him what you want to accomplish by using the MLSCC. Most chefs will have no problem with the procedure. Simply ask, politely, that the chef allow you to apply the second barcode from the MLSCC kit to the back of his neck. The same electrode process will take place, but since this barcode is on the neck, there will be even less pain at the injection site.
Once the Chef has agreed, applied the barcode, and revived himself from the initial shock, simply take the MLSCC device into your hand and scan both the chefs barcode and then your own.
Now, I won't bore you with the technical details of what happens as the device reads the individual barcodes, but let's just say the transformation is amazing. With only this one use of the MLSCC, you, yes YOU will now retain all of the safety knowledge and training from the chef that you scanned. Quickly, Hurry back to your home and test out your new skills with knives and cooking with wine. Everything you have ever wanted to cook will be at your fingertips.*
*provided that the knowledge of said dish was inside the chef you scanned's brain.
The MLSCC kit comes with one individual barcode for the owner/operator and five barcodes for different chefs. Italian, Chinese, Indian, American, it doesn't matter! Now you can copy any chef's knowledge into your brain and safely create their specialty recipes within in your own home.
No more worrying about chopping off fingers or spraying blood into your red sauce. The answer to all of your culinary desires and problems is right here, in this handheld device, the Mechanical Lubricated Safety Chef Copier! Use this every time you need a special meal prepared, and soon enough, you'll be able to place your face here:
So please, Consider the Mechanical Lubricated Safety Chef Copier for yourself, or a friend today!
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud to announce that Bum Corp has done what no government has yet been able to do. We have found life on Mars!
In true capitalist fashion, we decided to exploit them for profit. Later this year we will be opening an amusement park in Florida where selected Martian species will be exhibited.
Most importantly, we have discovered that when we replace traditional Earth eggs with Martian eggs, all kinds of baked goods become incredibly delicious. So we are proud to announce in partnership with the Girl Scouts of America...
The Martian Monster Cookie!
That's right, you can be among the first to eat the offspring of the first alien life found by humans!
Even more exciting though, is that the testers who have sampled the Martian Monster Cookie began losing weight at a rapid rate*. We are proud to have produced not only a delicious cookie, but a healthy cookie as well!
*Rumors that this weight loss was a result of the emergence of a green creature from the tester's chest are completely unfounded. We deny all accusations that our testers have mysteriously disappeared only to be replaced by robots.
Invest in Bum Corp today to join in this exciting opportunity!
(I will invest in this product)
Bum Corp is now hiring product testers.
enlightenedbum on
Self-righteousness is incompatible with coalition building.
You cannot invest more than one token at a time. (So lonelyahava, you can only invest one on the initial presentation.) Otherwise, everyone could invest all their money in their own products and then the game would be simply up to chance. (Of course, that's not really the point of the game either.)
MrBlarney on
0
Options
lonelyahavaCall me Ahava ~~She/Her~~Move to New ZealandRegistered Userregular
In todays sacrilegious sinful pagan society. Men are woman are able to perform terrible deeds such as playing video games, taking the lord's name in vain, sex before marriage, and gay marriage. Without any visible consequence or retribution from our wonderful and merciful god. However today it's your turn to play God with The Deluxe Holy Hammer
Infused with the powers of our lord and savior this hammer can be used to smite down the wicked and evil hearts within our society through vigilante justice. Those who participate in debauchery will prostrate themselves to your feet begging for mercy. However it will be for naught as you strike them down to the fiery hell in which they belong. This hammer also serves as a great decoration for the household and can be used individuals of any age and is a useful tool for a family.
In order to win the culture wars within America a strong investment must be made in order to protect our future, our children, and our very way of life. That investment is The Deluxe Holy Hammer
(Not Investing in my product)
manaleak34 on
XBL/Steam:ManaCrevice
0
Options
lonelyahavaCall me Ahava ~~She/Her~~Move to New ZealandRegistered Userregular
Gentlemen, let me put my product before you now, not as an idea, but an oppurtunity. I intend to carve out a brave new world from this broken one we live in. How, you may ask, could I do this? Carve out an entire new ideology? Well I can, by first carving one, simple structure.
The Theoretical Atomic Obelisk!
I propose that we construct one of these majestic centrepieces in every town and city, so that we build a foundation upon it's teachings. Many in this world are ignorant to the facts of this world, lost in a dream. Well now, it's time to wake up.
Each of these obelisks we have written upon them all of the fundamentals of atomic theory, fully accessible to the public. Imagine the possibilities. A whole new breed of scientists will be created, leading to unfathomable progress in the field. The more we discover, the more we may add to these stone tomes. In time, humanity will have achieved so much.
A new age will be upon us, and the people shall rejoice.
I will not be investing in my own product.
Daius on
0
Options
lonelyahavaCall me Ahava ~~She/Her~~Move to New ZealandRegistered Userregular
What's awesome about Daius' product is how he's hyping it up, and how it's going to usher in a new era to humanity, but then at the end he says, "I will not invest in this product," like he knows something we don't and is afraid.
I love the Deluxe Holy Hammer. I would invest tons in that.
That's everyone, right? Here we go:
Venture Phase (Secret)
Each player now has a chance to invest in one new product introduced in the previous phase. PM the host the product you wish to invest one investment chip in or the decision to decline investing. You may not invest in your own product at this time. Once all investments are submitted, they are revealed simultaneously. The player that created the most popularly-invested product earns a $1 Good Idea Bonus. If there is a tie for most popular product, no bonus is distributed.
Current Financial Standings:
Permanent Phone Book: 0
Patriotic Laser Musical: 1
Mechanical Lubricated Safety Chef Copier: 1
Martian Monster Cookie: 1
Deluxe Holy Hammer: 0
Theoretical Atomic Obelisk: 0
I'm stealing ideas from this thread to use as commercials in the PTA game I'm running (you can find that right here ). If anyone objects for whatever reason, just let me know and I'll remove your product. I posted a link in the first commercial to this here thread.
Mezzanine Phase (Open)
Each player now has a chance to further invest in one more product, both new products and old products left over from the previous round, and including ones own product. Because more information is available, it costs cash to invest in this phase. To invest in a product, you must pay each player $1 for every chip they already have on the product (ignoring the presence of foreign investor chips). Actions are taken in order, starting with the lead player, and at most one investment chip may be placed by each player.
(also guys you should totally make company names and post them)
Current Financial Standings:
Permanent Phone Book: 0
Patriotic Laser Musical: 2
Mechanical Lubricated Safety Chef Copier: 3
Martian Monster Cookie: 1
Deluxe Holy Hammer: 1
Theoretical Atomic Obelisk: 2
If You Invest, You Owe These People
Permanent Phone Book = (no one)
Patriotic Laser Musical = Rend, Daius
Mechanical Lubricated Safety Chef Copier = lonelyahava, enlightenedbum, manaleak34
Martian Monster Cookie = enlightenedbum
Deluxe Holy Hammer = Rend
Theoretical Atomic Obelisk = Utsanomiko, lonelyahava
Turn Order
1. Utsanomiko
2. Rend
3. lonelyahava
4. enlightenedbum
5. manaleak34
6. Daius
Fiscal Sales Reports and Market News
- Exciting news for fans of the Mechanical Lubricated Safety Chef Copier: the investments are pouring in, and with a strong corporate backing and marketing plan, it looks like the new Wonder Toy of the Week is set to hit it big with the public. No word yet on price or affordability: how will the company balance the cost of such a sophisticated piece of technology with the middle-class wannabe-chef demographic it intends to target?
- Casting calls have already started for the new Patriotic Laser Musical. A mole from on the set claims the special effects technicians have been working non-stop to get this thing up and running by August. Word is, President Obama himself may make a surprise appearance, "in one [way] or another." This is bound to be a hit - investors, take note!
- From the We're-Not-Touching-That-One-With-A-Ten-Foot-Pole Department: the first batch of mysterious Theoretical Atomic Obelisks is finishing production and set to display in major cities such as New York, Washington D.C., L.A., Atlanta, and Chicago. Lips are being held superhuman-shut regarding the next wave of expansions.
- Lastly, from our "Actually Useful Invention" file: the Permanent Phone Book is seeing very little investor love, straight out the gate. GPS afficiandos hope the trend doesn't continue.
Posts
Good! That gives me more time to work on mine
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
Patriotic Laser Musical
Patriotic Laser Musical - The Future in Entertainment
The Patriotic Laser Musical is the artistic brainchild of our time, capable of carrying our society into realms of entertainment never before experienced. As anyone who has seen a musical will tell you, they are engaging and artistically significant. Lives have been changed by productions such as Wicked, Rent, and other such masterpieces. However, what did those shows lack?
Well, investors, simply: Patriotic Lasers. Imagine, if you will! The scene opens up to soldiers fighting for the freedom of their country against invasion by a different country! BAM, begin musical number featuring the opposing forces walking up to the soldiers singing about their demise. Then, the refrain! The soldiers respond, lasers in the colors of the flag EVERYWHERE at once, shouting the patriotic message of freedom and defense against the wicked!
You would be a fool not to invest in the production of the very first Patriotic Laser Musical.
I will be Investing one of my own chips in this product.
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
Ladies and Gentleman! Boys and Girls! And Wannabe Chefs of all Ages! Come one, come all and witness the most innovative technology in ktichen gadgets that has been invented in many years! But before I show you the brilliant and amazing device that will change how you prepare meals from this day forth, Answer these questions for me!
Have you ever gone to a fancy restaurant and had a delicious meal and wondered just how you can make it happen at home? Have you sat for hours on end on your couch and watched continual cooking shows, all the while trying to fingure out just how that chef has managed to cut those onions and celery so small and yet not lose chunks of flesh to those ultra sharp knives? Have you wanted to recreate a memorable first date meal for the woman of your dreams as the perfect setting for a marriage proposal, but were afraid of landing yourself in the emergency room due to your inept skills with knives and gadgets?
If you have answered yes to any or all of these questions, have no fear! We here at IKG have the solution for you! Allow me to introduce to you, the Mechanical Lubricated Safety Chef Copier!
This small hand-held device is everything that you've always wanted to help solve your problems in the kitchen. Allow me to demonstrate.
have you ever been in the situation where your grill flares into a billowing tower of smoke, suitable not for cooking, but for signalling to the other failed grill-masters in your area that you too are one of them?
Have you spent hours in the kitchen trying to simply slice one onion, but have been brought to tears not only because of the onion, but the heart-stopping fear of losing a finger to your dull knives?
Well, with the wonders of the Mechanical Lubricated Safety Chef Copier, those days are over! The MLSCC is the latest in DNA and brain-wave copying technology. Simply pull out the barcode tattoo form the packaging and apply it to your arm. The Barcode of the MLSCC has an integrated computer chip that will embed itself into your skin and send it's electrodes into your nervous system to connect to your brain.*
*please note: this technology has not been cleared by the FDA. May cause bleeding at the injection site, brain malfunctions, and the desire to continually say "I'm Sorry, I can't do that Dave."
The next step is very simple. Go to your favorite restaurant and speak to the chef there. Explain to him what you want to accomplish by using the MLSCC. Most chefs will have no problem with the procedure. Simply ask, politely, that the chef allow you to apply the second barcode from the MLSCC kit to the back of his neck. The same electrode process will take place, but since this barcode is on the neck, there will be even less pain at the injection site.
Once the Chef has agreed, applied the barcode, and revived himself from the initial shock, simply take the MLSCC device into your hand and scan both the chefs barcode and then your own.
Now, I won't bore you with the technical details of what happens as the device reads the individual barcodes, but let's just say the transformation is amazing. With only this one use of the MLSCC, you, yes YOU will now retain all of the safety knowledge and training from the chef that you scanned. Quickly, Hurry back to your home and test out your new skills with knives and cooking with wine. Everything you have ever wanted to cook will be at your fingertips.*
*provided that the knowledge of said dish was inside the chef you scanned's brain.
The MLSCC kit comes with one individual barcode for the owner/operator and five barcodes for different chefs. Italian, Chinese, Indian, American, it doesn't matter! Now you can copy any chef's knowledge into your brain and safely create their specialty recipes within in your own home.
No more worrying about chopping off fingers or spraying blood into your red sauce. The answer to all of your culinary desires and problems is right here, in this handheld device, the Mechanical Lubricated Safety Chef Copier! Use this every time you need a special meal prepared, and soon enough, you'll be able to place your face here:
So please, Consider the Mechanical Lubricated Safety Chef Copier for yourself, or a friend today!
((investing one into this product))
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
and ebum, I await with curiosity
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
In true capitalist fashion, we decided to exploit them for profit. Later this year we will be opening an amusement park in Florida where selected Martian species will be exhibited.
Most importantly, we have discovered that when we replace traditional Earth eggs with Martian eggs, all kinds of baked goods become incredibly delicious. So we are proud to announce in partnership with the Girl Scouts of America...
The Martian Monster Cookie!
That's right, you can be among the first to eat the offspring of the first alien life found by humans!
Even more exciting though, is that the testers who have sampled the Martian Monster Cookie began losing weight at a rapid rate*. We are proud to have produced not only a delicious cookie, but a healthy cookie as well!
*Rumors that this weight loss was a result of the emergence of a green creature from the tester's chest are completely unfounded. We deny all accusations that our testers have mysteriously disappeared only to be replaced by robots.
Invest in Bum Corp today to join in this exciting opportunity!
(I will invest in this product)
Bum Corp is now hiring product testers.
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
You cannot invest more than one token at a time. (So lonelyahava, you can only invest one on the initial presentation.) Otherwise, everyone could invest all their money in their own products and then the game would be simply up to chance. (Of course, that's not really the point of the game either.)
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
Infused with the powers of our lord and savior this hammer can be used to smite down the wicked and evil hearts within our society through vigilante justice. Those who participate in debauchery will prostrate themselves to your feet begging for mercy. However it will be for naught as you strike them down to the fiery hell in which they belong. This hammer also serves as a great decoration for the household and can be used individuals of any age and is a useful tool for a family.
In order to win the culture wars within America a strong investment must be made in order to protect our future, our children, and our very way of life. That investment is The Deluxe Holy Hammer
(Not Investing in my product)
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
The Theoretical Atomic Obelisk!
I propose that we construct one of these majestic centrepieces in every town and city, so that we build a foundation upon it's teachings. Many in this world are ignorant to the facts of this world, lost in a dream. Well now, it's time to wake up.
Each of these obelisks we have written upon them all of the fundamentals of atomic theory, fully accessible to the public. Imagine the possibilities. A whole new breed of scientists will be created, leading to unfathomable progress in the field. The more we discover, the more we may add to these stone tomes. In time, humanity will have achieved so much.
A new age will be upon us, and the people shall rejoice.
I will not be investing in my own product.
gorgeous... supremely gorgeous
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
Mine is just as awesome!
just not as ouchies.
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
I meant in that one is creating atheism as a positive outcome and the other is, you know, a hammer to beat God into people.
like smashing 360s and PS3s and such.
but beating people is just as cool I suppose
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
I love the Deluxe Holy Hammer. I would invest tons in that.
That's everyone, right? Here we go:
Venture Phase (Secret)
Each player now has a chance to invest in one new product introduced in the previous phase. PM the host the product you wish to invest one investment chip in or the decision to decline investing. You may not invest in your own product at this time. Once all investments are submitted, they are revealed simultaneously. The player that created the most popularly-invested product earns a $1 Good Idea Bonus. If there is a tie for most popular product, no bonus is distributed.
Current Financial Standings:
I'm stealing ideas from this thread to use as commercials in the PTA game I'm running (you can find that right here ). If anyone objects for whatever reason, just let me know and I'll remove your product. I posted a link in the first commercial to this here thread.
Each player now has a chance to further invest in one more product, both new products and old products left over from the previous round, and including ones own product. Because more information is available, it costs cash to invest in this phase. To invest in a product, you must pay each player $1 for every chip they already have on the product (ignoring the presence of foreign investor chips). Actions are taken in order, starting with the lead player, and at most one investment chip may be placed by each player.
(also guys you should totally make company names and post them)
Current Financial Standings:
If You Invest, You Owe These People
Permanent Phone Book = (no one)
Patriotic Laser Musical = Rend, Daius
Mechanical Lubricated Safety Chef Copier = lonelyahava, enlightenedbum, manaleak34
Martian Monster Cookie = enlightenedbum
Deluxe Holy Hammer = Rend
Theoretical Atomic Obelisk = Utsanomiko, lonelyahava
Turn Order
1. Utsanomiko
2. Rend
3. lonelyahava
4. enlightenedbum
5. manaleak34
6. Daius
Fiscal Sales Reports and Market News
- Exciting news for fans of the Mechanical Lubricated Safety Chef Copier: the investments are pouring in, and with a strong corporate backing and marketing plan, it looks like the new Wonder Toy of the Week is set to hit it big with the public. No word yet on price or affordability: how will the company balance the cost of such a sophisticated piece of technology with the middle-class wannabe-chef demographic it intends to target?
- Casting calls have already started for the new Patriotic Laser Musical. A mole from on the set claims the special effects technicians have been working non-stop to get this thing up and running by August. Word is, President Obama himself may make a surprise appearance, "in one [way] or another." This is bound to be a hit - investors, take note!
- From the We're-Not-Touching-That-One-With-A-Ten-Foot-Pole Department: the first batch of mysterious Theoretical Atomic Obelisks is finishing production and set to display in major cities such as New York, Washington D.C., L.A., Atlanta, and Chicago. Lips are being held superhuman-shut regarding the next wave of expansions.
- Lastly, from our "Actually Useful Invention" file: the Permanent Phone Book is seeing very little investor love, straight out the gate. GPS afficiandos hope the trend doesn't continue.
Investments from the machine.
When you need it done better.