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Occupy Hell: How come 1% of the forumers get 99% of the gifts?! [Secret Satans]

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Posts

  • WeaverWeaver From here, I can see seven seasRegistered User regular
    I thought Grimace was the coolest back when I was

    six?

    Then I saw a dude in a Grimace suit and OH GOD MOM SAVE ME

    hCpR4ri.jpg
    Steam: weavermatic
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  • KeithKeith Registered User regular
    I don't have the first clue who my Satan is

    unlike last year's GV Secret Supermans where I IMed Nogs saying "hey did you get me" and it turns out he did

    7LmZWpZ.jpg
    Amazon Wishlist | Steam | 3DS: 3497-0691-2891
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  • The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    I never figure out who has me

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  • KeithKeith Registered User regular

    7LmZWpZ.jpg
    Amazon Wishlist | Steam | 3DS: 3497-0691-2891
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  • The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    ewww I ain't want no poor satan

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  • ThreeCubedThreeCubed Registered User
    edited December 2011
    Weaver wrote: »
    I thought Grimace was the coolest back when I was

    six?

    Then I saw a dude in a Grimace suit and OH GOD MOM SAVE ME

    Grimace is terrifying in real life.

    My mother once played Mayor McCheese in a commercial! There's you uninteresting fact of the day.

    ThreeCubed on
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  • UrielUriel Registered User regular

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  • ThreeCubedThreeCubed Registered User
    edited December 2011
    Tasticle gave me Grimace as a nickname and I love it even more than the title that Stale and Usagi bestowed up me ("Clitler")

    ThreeCubed on
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  • UsagiUsagi it’s like someone threw a bowl of loose fruit into a front-loading clothes dryer Registered User regular
    Margarazzi wrote:
    Tasticle gave me Grimace as a nickname and I love it even more than the title that Stale and Usagi bestowed up me ("Clitler")

    Grimace, the Great Purple Clitler

    there you go <3

    Odin wrote: »
    I've learned what is best in life:

    To crush the patriarchy, see it driven before you, and hear the lamentations of its fuckboys.
    HEY SATAN | WISH POST
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  • ThreeCubedThreeCubed Registered User
    edited December 2011
    ThreeCubed on
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  • UsagiUsagi it’s like someone threw a bowl of loose fruit into a front-loading clothes dryer Registered User regular

    Odin wrote: »
    I've learned what is best in life:

    To crush the patriarchy, see it driven before you, and hear the lamentations of its fuckboys.
    HEY SATAN | WISH POST
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  • WeaverWeaver From here, I can see seven seasRegistered User regular
    omg dear satan buy me all of these things

    http://www.santorifinecrafts.com/index.html
    Spoiler:

    hCpR4ri.jpg
    Steam: weavermatic
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  • KeithKeith Registered User regular
    what does that have to do with boners

    7LmZWpZ.jpg
    Amazon Wishlist | Steam | 3DS: 3497-0691-2891
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  • The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    keith you inadvertently made a good post

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  • WeaverWeaver From here, I can see seven seasRegistered User regular
    keith you inadvertently made a good post

    Seriously.

    hCpR4ri.jpg
    Steam: weavermatic
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  • Sweeney TomSweeney Tom Registered User regular
    Keith only makes good posts, so that's unsurprising

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  • The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    sweeney tom I think you are mixing up keith with literally any other poster ever

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  • TonkkaTonkka Some one in the club tonight Has stolen my ideas.Registered User regular
    Well hello there.

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    Gamertag: T0NKKA - Steam: evilumpire Twitter Art blog/Portfolio! HEY SATAN
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  • TonkkaTonkka Some one in the club tonight Has stolen my ideas.Registered User regular
    People are getting things delivered to my building and they are never for me.

    Hey, people in my building, stop ordering stuff you are driving me mad.

    tonkkatrikesig.jpg
    Gamertag: T0NKKA - Steam: evilumpire Twitter Art blog/Portfolio! HEY SATAN
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  • BEAST!BEAST! Adventurer Adventure!!!!!Registered User regular
    edited December 2011
    Previously on "Detective Cats: The Case of the Secret Satan"

    We left our detectives at the dinner bowls as they wondered aloud what could be in the box.

    "I hope it's some food," hoped Flapjack hopefully.
    "I bet it's an airplane!" cried Swarley.

    It was neither full of food nor were there any airplanes jammed inside that box.

    The first thing to emerge was:
    Spoiler:

    "OMG it's a Thundercats shirt!!! We're just like them!!!" yelled Swarley.
    "Maybe you are with all your loud farts, I'm just a regular cat," Flapjack moaned. He is a grump.

    I wonder what else is crammed into this box.

    Both cats peered inside.
    Spoiler:

    They did not know what the weird shapes were that inhabited the box.
    They were spongy and had weird angles.
    Spoiler:

    "Those, little ones, are foam D&D dice!" said the nice, handsome, totally dong heavy single man (ladies.............).

    The package seemed a lot heavier than these light objects.

    "The box said it weighed 2 pounds!" said Swarley.
    "That it did," Flapjack confirmed, "quite the bit of detective remembering skills you've got there."

    What they found next would shake them to their core.
    Spoiler:

    "AHH!!! A zombie?!?!?" screamed Swarley.
    "That's just the WORD zombie, with an arrow. Frankly I'm amazed you could read that, though....."
    Spoiler:

    Swarley looked up toward Flapjack, "NOW can I be scared?"
    "Yes."
    "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIT A ZOMBIE"

    We continued to turn the cup in our not at all pale hand.
    Spoiler:

    Whoa, now. That's quite the statement. Number 1 dude? NUMBER 1?!?!?! Holy crap I am AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Oh, and it says love...love who, though? I can't quite read it from this angle............
    Spoiler:

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
    "Holy crap!" the three of us screamed in unison.

    Swarley needed to take one last look to confirm that he had just read Khoo on there.
    Spoiler:

    "Yep, using my excellent 3 month old reading skills I have confirmed that does indeed say Khoo."

    This included note further solidified that it was a Khoo of the Robert variety.
    Spoiler:

    Well you know what Robert? I will enjoy the hell out of the present AND the shit you had around your office!!! I LOVE ALL OF YOUR SHIT!

    Swarley wanted to show things off once more.
    Spoiler:

    The case of the Secret Satan has been solved by the Hardly Boys!!! (RIP Flapjack's balls)
    Thank you so much Khoo! Best Christmas ever!!!!!!

    BEAST! on
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  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Certified BrimperRegistered User regular
    All done with stuff for my Satan, planning to ship it

    Now I just have to get stuff for real people

    uuuuugh

    sites: personal | tumblr | abracadaniel dot com | coolguy.me
    services I recommend: tonx coffee *highly recommended* | everlane
    Secret Satan Wishlists: Regular List Coffee Stuff
    FUNTENDO DS BROCODE: 2337-4364-1683
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  • BEAST!BEAST! Adventurer Adventure!!!!!Registered User regular
    edited December 2011
    Dumb ol real people, always wantin stuff.

    BEAST! on
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  • WeaverWeaver From here, I can see seven seasRegistered User regular
    oh no

    Smart Hero is my benefactor and he doesn't consider me a real person

    (I'm not a real person)

    hCpR4ri.jpg
    Steam: weavermatic
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  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Certified BrimperRegistered User regular
    Thankfully, both my mom and sister just got iPhones

    so

    you know

    I'm kind of a big deal in those parts

    sites: personal | tumblr | abracadaniel dot com | coolguy.me
    services I recommend: tonx coffee *highly recommended* | everlane
    Secret Satan Wishlists: Regular List Coffee Stuff
    FUNTENDO DS BROCODE: 2337-4364-1683
    ·
  • Sweeney TomSweeney Tom Registered User regular
    God, I remember last year when Khoo was my G&T Santa

    He gave me a pink DS

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  • SticksSticks Registered User regular
    Khoo would be the most intimidating person to get for a Satanee. I always forget that until after I sign up, and then I'm all "oh god, if I get him, WHAT WILL I GET HIM!?!"

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  • WeaverWeaver From here, I can see seven seasRegistered User regular
    Khoo helped pay for my replacement glasses and comped my PAX pass two years ago when I had my bad bike wreck.

    So now every PAX I drunkenly stumble up to him and try to tell him "Thanks" while he's all "Oh god get away from me I'm busy."

    hCpR4ri.jpg
    Steam: weavermatic
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  • ThreeCubedThreeCubed Registered User
    Sticks wrote: »
    Khoo would be the most intimidating person to get for a Satanee. I always forget that until after I sign up, and then I'm all "oh god, if I get him, WHAT WILL I GET HIM!?!"

    Bigger bull horn.
    Carpal tunnel surgery gift certificate

    EyQGd.jpg
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  • BEAST!BEAST! Adventurer Adventure!!!!!Registered User regular
    edited December 2011
    I like to imagine that Khoo remembers me from when he met up with us in NYC earlier this year, and his #1 Dude statement is absolutely sincere because of that night.

    Khoo is the khooooolest

    BEAST! on
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  • chrishallett83chrishallett83 Hi! Registered User regular
    Khoo

    remembers

    EVERYTHING

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  • SticksSticks Registered User regular
    edited December 2011
    Margarazzi wrote:
    Sticks wrote: »
    Khoo would be the most intimidating person to get for a Satanee. I always forget that until after I sign up, and then I'm all "oh god, if I get him, WHAT WILL I GET HIM!?!"

    Bigger bull horn.
    Carpal tunnel surgery gift certificate

    Actually, I figured it out already. If I ever get him, he is getting cloned ala Multiplicity.

    Athletic Khoo to run around making sure everyone is doing what they are supposed to be doing and completely dominate at ping pong. Smart Khoo to do all of the organizing and keep the business running. Dumb Khoo to be a hilarious new addition for PA Season 3 as a sidekick.

    Real Khoo can just go home and relax for a couple months before everything goes hilariously awry and he learns a valuable lesson about something, but I'm not sure what because I haven't seen that movie in forever.

    Sticks on
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  • MarthMarth Contemplative Kermit Registered User regular
    When I went to the meetup thing in July I met Khoo. I felt honored, I think.

    Steam Xbox Live LoL: SadSchaub
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  • zucchinizucchini pretty much amazing Registered User regular
    If I had @Robert Khoo as my Satanee, I know exactly what I'd get him.

    A metro card and a night full of missed opportunities.

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  • ThreeCubedThreeCubed Registered User
    Marth wrote: »
    When I went to the meetup thing in July I met Khoo. I felt honored, I think.

    He was so hot.

    Like literally he couldn't handle the Texas temperatures. I think he was pretty miserable.

    EyQGd.jpg
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  • MarthMarth Contemplative Kermit Registered User regular
    Margarazzi wrote:
    Marth wrote: »
    When I went to the meetup thing in July I met Khoo. I felt honored, I think.

    He was so hot.

    Like literally he couldn't handle the Texas temperatures. I think he was pretty miserable.

    And we mocked him for it. Now I feel a little sad.
    Spoiler:

    Steam Xbox Live LoL: SadSchaub
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  • ZayZay Registered User regular
    edited December 2011
    Fuck it I am responding to last page's TOTP but I was taking a final so I have an excuse.

    Just gunna pop a quick Penny Arcade on this box so we all know what's inside.

    Zay on
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  • ThreeCubedThreeCubed Registered User
    I worried that we were going to have to pour him into his rental. All the photos I have of him are just a very wet, miserable man searching in vain for the slightest bit of a breeze.

    EyQGd.jpg
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  • MarthMarth Contemplative Kermit Registered User regular
    Hopefully the weather didn't scare him off from Texas forever. You can come down now, Khoo! It's cold out!

    Steam Xbox Live LoL: SadSchaub
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  • Robert KhooRobert Khoo Registered User, Administrator, ClubPA, Penny Arcade Staff, PAX Staff staff
    I promise you that the weather did not scare me off. But I *would* like to remind you that on that very same day, I took this photo:

    http://twitpic.com/5qqh96

    So whoever said 80 meant not 80, but 90, and 90 degrees at 10 PM.

    Glad you enjoyed your gift, Beast! I read what you wanted, and said, WELL I CAN DO THAT.

    Some guy.
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  • SLyMSLyM Registered User regular
    I was gonna say, 80 seems pretty low for a state that far south in July.

    80 is pretty average in Maine in July.

    Steam Starcraft SLeague of Legends
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This discussion has been closed.