Occupy Hell: How come 1% of the forumers get 99% of the gifts?! [Secret Satans]

neville

It is December. The Satans have been mailed out.
Now wait for your doooooom.


(Mully continues the tradition of making awesome art for this, so thanks a million mully. !)

Signup info

This is where you do the sign-ups.

THE RULES HAVE CHANGED/BEEN EXPANDED THIS YEAR.
So read them all before you try to sign up.


Rules:

1. I will NOT go back and email you and/or correct it if you do it wrong. I don't have time for that. So save us both some time and do it right.
If I update the thread and you sent you email a full day earlier... you probably messed up. So do it again. Please DO NOT apologize in the email; that makes it harder to send when I'm matching.
It's fine, just trying to keep it efficient. If you really need to tell me something, do it via PM.

2. There is no minimum spending amount and no maximum spending amount. Just because you spend $500 on your person, doesn't mean you'll get the same amount spent on you. And some people make handmade shit because they're poor, talented, or some combination.

3. Wishlists or suggestions ARE REQUIRED this year. If you feel you are a regular and people should know what you like; awesome. You still can't sign up without this info.

4. International people are allowed. There is a field now in the sign up process for if you REALLY are strapped for cash, but I still cannot 100% guarantee you will not get someone in Australia, New Zealand, or lesser Uranus. IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THIS POSSIBILITY, DO NOT SIGN UP. Note: Canada is NOT considered "international."

5. If nobody knows who you are, you probably will not be allowed to sign up. This is to cut down on the number of deadbeat Satans.

6. People who do not send gifts will be banned. Seriously. Not you "might" get banned, you 100% WILL get banned. Lewie P's Stepdad is tired of people whining about not getting shit, so if you sign up, you better fucking send something. Excuses are not accepted. I don't care if you are deployed to Afghanistan, lose your job, or are in love with Jesus; IF YOU SIGN UP AND DON'T SEND YOU WILL BE BANNED. The deadline to receive gifts is JANUARY 22, 2012. That's a full 4 WEEKS after Xmas. If you can't get it in by then at the latest, don't be a silly goose (or worse) -- don't sign up.


7. DO NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT WHAT YOU GOT. But while a joke gift is ok, sending only terrible gifts just to be terrible is not encouraged. I.E. Don't do it.

6. Do NOT send NSFW gifts unless they specifically OK it in the info sent to you when you get your person.


How Do I Sign Up, Boss?
Send an email to mailto:secretsatantwo@gmail.com.

THIS EMAIL MUST HAVE YOUR FORUM USERNAME AS A SUBJECT. DO NOT TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT, WE MIGHT HAVE A THREAD ABOUT THAT! IF WE DO NOT, THEN JUST LINK A WISHLIST IN YOUR SIG.
The email MUST CONTAIN:

Your Name (YOUR REAL ONE. NO ALIASES. NO ABBREVIATIONS. If you aren't comfortable with that, don't sign up.)
Your full Address (INCLUDING country)
Your Preference in Sending Internationally: YES / NO ( I AM A POOR GOOSE BUT I WILL SUCK IT UP IF I GET PAIRED WITH ONE)
If NSFW gifts are OK or NOT
Link to your amazon/foodzie/etsy/etc wishlist OR a few items here**


** Also acceptable: A link to a post containing description of things you do/don't want, T-shirt size, etc.




IF YOUR EMAIL DOES NOT HAVE YOUR FORUM USERNAME AS THE SUBJECT, I WILL THROW IT AWAY, AND I WILL NOT TELL YOU I HAVE DONE SO. IF YOUR NAME DOES NOT APPEAR ON THIS SIGN-UP LIST, ASSUME YOU HAVE FUCKED UP SOMEWHERE.

Signups in this thread WILL NOT BE COUNTED AND YOU WILL BE THOROUGHLY MOCKED.
Or ignored. Perhaps both Probably both..


THE SIGN UP DEADLINE IS 12:01 AM, PST, NOVEMBER 6TH. THERE WILL BE NO EXCUSES.

The traditional.... Framling's Fantastic FAQ For Foisting Freebies On Friendly Forumers!

Q: My person lives outside the country! What if shipping takes a long time?
A: Oh shit! Better plan ahead!

Q: I got evicted from my apartment! I can't afford a present right now.
A: Shouldn't have signed up, Poordilocks!


Sign-Up List: (Will likely be updated only ONCE daily during Mon-Fri) - Current as of 10/13/2011 @ 11:40 am PST.
thorgot
Naphtali
Sara Lynn
Butters
Platypus Beirut
DrZiplock
Usagi
Rolo
A duck!
Blake T
Gatsby
godmode
Bucketman
Lost Salient
Marth
Iloveslimes
BYToady
Goose!
That Dave Fella
Centipede Damascus
Stale
Uriel
Smart Hero
lostwords
kadith
Metroidzoid
Slacker71
Keith
Tossrock
2 Marcus 2 Ravens
Squall
Vann Diras
Aphostile
The Lovely Bastard
Hunter
#pipe
Orikaeshigitae
Sweeney Tom
Nogs
SenorTacos
CrackedLens
Ten
Forar
Aeyther
SLyM
skettios
kusuguttai
Mortal Sky
Wombat!!
Sticks
Zonugal
Moriveth
Romanian My Escutcheon
mully
Theidar
Sheri
Okami
Legba
MrDoctorProfessor
Vivixenne
Fletcher
Matey
Munkus Beaver
Neville
George Fornby Grill
dougyfresh
As7
zucchini
Schide
antimatter
Mint
ShimSham
BEAST!
Didgeridoo
feebsicle
Sal
I'd Fuck Chuck Lidell Up
Tox
Caulk Bite 6
DHS Odium
The Geebs That Is A Pony
Zay
Kochikens
B.C.
visionofclarity
Kwoaru
Isoldae
Blackhawk1313
BusterK
Fortytwo
ceres
MoosehatIV
KetBra
Tonkka
Zerofill
spookymuffin
Staleghoti
chrishallett83
Margarazzi
Bogey
TankHammer
CorporateLogo
Tef
egreco
PRD
David Coffman
Robert Khoo
QuickSnap
. (plut)
Perrsun
The_reflection
OminousLozenge
Veretas
Langly
bwanie
Matev
Fearghaill
sarukun
Virgil_Leads_You
Weaver
vermiculture
End
skull man
PkErthbnd
jackisreal



Secret Satan chains:
2 Marcus 2 Ravens :arrow: Margarazzi :arrow: Sal/2/3 :arrow: Uriel :arrow: Aphostile

●Blake T/1.5/2 Lost Salient●

Bogey :arrow: Isoldae/2 :arrow: TankHammer

bwaine :arrow: Robert Khoo :arrow: BEAST! :arrow: Theidar :arrow: neville/2/3 :arrow: Forar/2

Bucketman :arrow: MetroidZoid

BusterK :arrow: Sara Lynn/2

chrishallett83 :arrow: #pipe/2/3/4 :arrow: Platypus Beirut :arrow: Gatsby

DHS Odium :arrow: Vann Diras

Didgeridoo :arrow: dougyfresh :arrow: Keith :arrow: Weaver/2/3 :arrow: Kochikens

End :arrow: godmode/2/3/4 :arrow: Naphtali :arrow: . (plut)

Feebsicle :arrow: Veretas/2 :arrow: Sheri

George Fornby Grill :arrow: Ten :arrow: sarukun/2

I'd Fuck Chuck Lidell Up :arrow: Aeyther/2 :arrow: Orikaeshigitae/1.5

Legba :arrow: zucchini/2/3/4

Marth :arrow: Okami/2/3

MoosehatIV :arrow: ceres/2

●Moriveth&Janson/2 Rolo/2●

Munkus Beaver :arrow: B. C.

SenorTacos (riddlehero) :arrow: Smart Hero/2/3

ShimSham :arrow: Stale/2 :arrow: Romanian My Escutcheon

Skull Man :arrow: PkErthbnd

SLyM :arrow: Usagi

Staleghoti :arrow: Kadith :arrow: skettios

Tef :arrow: KetBra

The Lovely Bastard :arrow: Tox/2/3 :arrow: lostwords/2 :arrow: Sweeney Tom :arrow: Kusuguttai/2/3/4/5

The_reflection :arrow: Antimatter :arrow: Wombat!!/2/3/4

Vivixenne :arrow: That Dave Fella

??? :arrow: Matev

??? :arrow: Mortal Sky :arrow: Schide/2 :arrow: Kwoaru :arrow: Perrsun :arrow: BYToady/2

??? :arrow: PRD :arrow: Mint :arrow: A Duck! :arrow: Virgil_Leads_You

??? :arrow: QuickSnap :arrow: Goose!

??? :arrow: Spookymuffin :arrow: thorgot/2 :arrow: Slacker71/2 :arrow: Nogs

??? :arrow: The Geebs That Is A Pony :arrow: Caulk Bite 6 :arrow: Centipede Damascus/2

??? :arrow: vermiculture

??? :arrow: VisionOfClarity

??? :arrow: Zay :arrow: Hunter/2/3 :arrow: CrackedLens

??? :arrow: Zonugal

thorgot

we are the 666 percent

2 Marcus 2 Ravens

Hey new thread. Nice to meet you.

I think today is a good day to spoil my Satanee with a showering of festive gifts.

Legba

Today is a good day to gift.

Janson

Today would be a great day to gift if companies shipped on time aaaargh

(Hehe, just impatient!)

Janson

Forums, stop it.

ceres

Because only 1% of the forumers signed up?

Dark Raven X

Too late to sign up. I wish I had signed up.

But I was terrified of getting Robert Khoo as a secret satan. And what could I possibly get that man.

JoeUser

Dark Raven X wrote:

Too late to sign up. I wish I had signed up.

But I was terrified of getting Robert Khoo as a secret satan. And what could I possibly get that man.

The antidote

Brolo

JoeUser wrote:

Dark Raven X wrote:

Too late to sign up. I wish I had signed up.

But I was terrified of getting Robert Khoo as a secret satan. And what could I possibly get that man.

The antidote

Robert Khure

neville

JoeUser wrote:

Dark Raven X wrote:

Too late to sign up. I wish I had signed up.

But I was terrified of getting Robert Khoo as a secret satan. And what could I possibly get that man.

The antidote

:^:

Sticks

Love that new thread smell.

Fire and brimstone and oooh is that gingerbread?

riddlehero

Something big is going to happen soon I do believe.

Kadith

Getting Khoo for a Satanee was pretty nerve-racking, that's what I just got him true love.

Also just purchased my gifts, now to hope they get to my parents house by next week so I can add some extra special stuff before sending them.

Aphostile

riddlehero wrote:

Something big is going to happen soon I do believe.

A new caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrr!

Bogey

I impulse bought something for my Satan last night...

Something NSFW!

I'm not sending anything to them until after Thanksgiving though. :P

Sara Lynn

I added a bougie expensive coffee maker to my wishlist. I dunno if I'm adding things too late for my Satan, but obviously anyone can buy it for me. That said I'm going to keep trying to add little things.

MetroidZoid

If I got Khoo, the one thing I know I'd gey him would be a big print of one of my landscape photographs. Something I'd be sure he didn't have. Maybe I should get one developed for my Satanee ...

Janson

Bogey wrote:

I impulse bought something for my Satan last night...

Something NSFW!

I'm not sending anything to them until after Thanksgiving though. :P

NSFW gifts are the most hilarious

JoeUser

Are we doing the thing this year where you can just buy stuff for people without getting anything? I think it was called Secret Saints last year.

Sara Lynn

I know most of us put NSFW-ok, but how many people have actually gotten NSFW stuff over the years? Nothing jumps out in my memory.

End

JoeUser wrote: »

Are we doing the thing this year where you can just buy stuff for people without getting anything? I think it was called Secret Saints last year.

mully said she would set that up later, yeah

Uriel

I got all excited when a ups truck pulled in this afternoon.

But now I'm depressed, not just because it wasn't for me, but because it was a bunch of medical supply looking boxes for my neighbor I think one of them might be sick...

Sheri

IT HAS BEGUN

skettios

Sheri wrote: »

IT HAS BEGUN

what're you making this year??

Legba

What could it be?

Marth

It's obviously for me, I think.

Sheri

it is a mystery

Uriel

Minecraft throw blanket.

Aphostile

I don't know what those are for, but can I compliment the beer coaster coffee table?

It's nifty.

Sheri

Aphostile wrote:

I don't know what those are for, but can I compliment the beer coaster coffee table?

It's nifty.

It's pretty rad

Technically the roommate's, though

ceres

Because only 1% of the forumers signed up?

JoeUser wrote:

Dark Raven X wrote:

Too late to sign up. I wish I had signed up.

But I was terrified of getting Robert Khoo as a secret satan. And what could I possibly get that man.

The antidote

I read this, and my brain for some reason turned it into "The artichoke"

And then all of a sudden I needed to go eat an artichoke

And I did, and it was delicious.

The end.

Legba

ceres wrote:

Because only 1% of the forumers signed up?

JoeUser wrote:

Dark Raven X wrote:

Too late to sign up. I wish I had signed up.

But I was terrified of getting Robert Khoo as a secret satan. And what could I possibly get that man.

The antidote

I read this, and my brain for some reason turned it into "The artichoke"

And then all of a sudden I needed to go eat an artichoke

And I did, and it was delicious.

The end.

It's a holiday fairytale.

CorporateLogo

Sheri stole my TV remote

Sheri

CorporateLogo wrote:

Sheri stole my TV remote

Changing your channels from my living room

Caulk Bite 6

Sara Lynn wrote:

I know most of us put NSFW-ok, but how many people have actually gotten NSFW stuff over the years? Nothing jumps out in my memory.

Technically, the incense I sent as part of Perrsun's gift last year was a little nsfw.

CorporateLogo

I have to use my Comcast remote to change channels, though

SenorTacos

Caulk Bite 6 wrote:

Sara Lynn wrote:

I know most of us put NSFW-ok, but how many people have actually gotten NSFW stuff over the years? Nothing jumps out in my memory.

Technically, the incense I sent as part of Perrsun's gift last year was a little nsfw.

Gonna buy a subscription to WHORES WHORES WHORES ONLINE.

Sheri

CorporateLogo wrote:

I have to use my Comcast remote to change channels, though

Uh oh

Well someone is now watching Jersey Shore against their will

Zonugal

Aphostile wrote:

riddlehero wrote:

Something big is going to happen soon I do believe.

A new caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrr!

ThreeCubed

Sara Lynn wrote: »

I know most of us put NSFW-ok, but how many people have actually gotten NSFW stuff over the years? Nothing jumps out in my memory.

I think a shake weight is pretty racy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXHUdvvHTkw