ceresWhen the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderatormod
Dungeons and Dragons was directly responsible for me meeting my wife. We have had sex. More than once!
Also how I met my husband, who is pretty great.
Coming this fall to CBS...
The Dungeon Matchmaker.
He sets up people he knows would do well as a couple and then uses a session of D&D to bring them together and hit it off as a team.
His catchphrase is "Looks like Cupid's arrow critically hit"
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ceresWhen the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderatormod
It's a pretty good story IMO.
Although I've always maintained that if my life were a work of fiction the author would be called a talentless hack whose characters never learn anything and fail to experience character growth on even a basic level.
And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
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ceresWhen the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderatormod
I used the term "critical success" in my wedding vows. True story.
And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
As if Dungeons and Dragons has ever led to any kind of sex
I did offer to sleep with an NPC as a joke once and @OminousLozenge was the DM. He let me roll to see if I learned any secrets during pillow talk.
I rolled...really poorly. Then @DrZiplock told all his coworkers about the slutty bard in his campaign and now when I meet any of them they go "Oh! That was you?!"
As if Dungeons and Dragons has ever led to any kind of sex
I did offer to sleep with an NPC as a joke once and @OminousLozenge was the DM. He let me roll to see if I learned any secrets during pillow talk.
I rolled...really poorly. Then @DrZiplock told all his coworkers about the slutty bard in his campaign and now when I meet any of them they go "Oh! That was you?!"
One of my characters once boned down with...an Elf queen I think? Or some kind of noble anyway.
It was pretty much by accident, dude was just taking a bath and some Elf lady wanders in, so he smiles and waves, DM asks for a charisma roll and I rolled pretty good, so she hopped on in.
If memory serves he got some kind of herpes from that.
Any time my players get frisky with the local flavour, I ask for a Constitution roll to resist disease.
[Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
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ceresWhen the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderatormod
Any time my players get frisky with the local flavour, I ask for a Constitution roll to resist disease.
So does my husband! Also when you eat someone's heart.
And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
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ceresWhen the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderatormod
For gross:
In the first of his games I ever played, one of our friends played a troubled tiefling who slept with a number of NPCs. She failed her save pretty badly, so he rolled from some table he had in his head. The next session she found out she had contracted something like a nest full of maggots that was growing, you know, up there.
He has quite the imagination.
And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
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HunterChemist with a heart of AuRegistered Userregular
As if Dungeons and Dragons has ever led to any kind of sex
I did offer to sleep with an NPC as a joke once and @OminousLozenge was the DM. He let me roll to see if I learned any secrets during pillow talk.
I rolled...really poorly. Then @DrZiplock told all his coworkers about the slutty bard in his campaign and now when I meet any of them they go "Oh! That was you?!"
Yea, I'll just confirm this as a true story.
She rolled fucking horribly.
So basically she tried to seduce the NPC by going down on him seductively, and ended up getting poked in the eye and being rushed to the local shaman.
As if Dungeons and Dragons has ever led to any kind of sex
I did offer to sleep with an NPC as a joke once and @OminousLozenge was the DM. He let me roll to see if I learned any secrets during pillow talk.
I rolled...really poorly. Then @DrZiplock told all his coworkers about the slutty bard in his campaign and now when I meet any of them they go "Oh! That was you?!"
Yea, I'll just confirm this as a true story.
She rolled fucking horribly.
So basically she tried to seduce the NPC by going down on him seductively, and ended up getting poked in the eye and being rushed to the local shaman.
Well, she didn't have to roll to sleep with him. That part was a forgone conclusion....because money had changed hands.
Oh.
What that part left out? Right. She offered to drill the NPC for some cash so that the poor man of our merry band could by himself a shiny.
The roll was just to determine if she was good enough to get some information out of him via pillow talk.
As if Dungeons and Dragons has ever led to any kind of sex
I did offer to sleep with an NPC as a joke once and @OminousLozenge was the DM. He let me roll to see if I learned any secrets during pillow talk.
I rolled...really poorly. Then @DrZiplock told all his coworkers about the slutty bard in his campaign and now when I meet any of them they go "Oh! That was you?!"
Yea, I'll just confirm this as a true story.
She rolled fucking horribly.
So basically she tried to seduce the NPC by going down on him seductively, and ended up getting poked in the eye and being rushed to the local shaman.
Well, she didn't have to roll to sleep with him. That part was a forgone conclusion....because money had changed hands.
Oh.
What that part left out? Right. She offered to drill the NPC for some cash so that the poor man of our merry band could by himself a shiny.
The roll was just to determine if she was good enough to get some information out of him via pillow talk.
They needed some quick scratch and didn't want or think to go murderhobo-ing for it. At the time, they might not have yet known about the one shady guy in this ostensibly sleepy hamlet with whom they could have made arrangements. So the bard decided to get entrepreneurial. To the group's credit, they later extorted the shit out of the shady dude.
I once inadvertently caused a liaison to end by answering the fifth repetition of "tell me your fantasy" with "it's like this, but you're not talking".
Dirty talk is the sexual equivalent of giving someone lego for their birthday. It's ostensibly nice, but in reality they're looking at you expectantly to see what you come up with and silently judging you when it's just a house.
@DrZiplock I still remember your story about producing and eyepatch and pirate hook in the middle of liaisons with your then lady, it makes me chuckle every time.
Posts
Masturbation.
Game. Set. Fap.
Secret Satan 2013 Wishlist
I tried one Dungeons and Dragons back in my youth and I had none of those things. I want my money back.
Disgusting!
Also how I met my husband, who is pretty great.
Coming this fall to CBS...
The Dungeon Matchmaker.
He sets up people he knows would do well as a couple and then uses a session of D&D to bring them together and hit it off as a team.
His catchphrase is "Looks like Cupid's arrow critically hit"
Although I've always maintained that if my life were a work of fiction the author would be called a talentless hack whose characters never learn anything and fail to experience character growth on even a basic level.
I did offer to sleep with an NPC as a joke once and @OminousLozenge was the DM. He let me roll to see if I learned any secrets during pillow talk.
I rolled...really poorly. Then @DrZiplock told all his coworkers about the slutty bard in his campaign and now when I meet any of them they go "Oh! That was you?!"
Yea, I'll just confirm this as a true story.
She rolled fucking horribly.
It was pretty much by accident, dude was just taking a bath and some Elf lady wanders in, so he smiles and waves, DM asks for a charisma roll and I rolled pretty good, so she hopped on in.
So does my husband! Also when you eat someone's heart.
He has quite the imagination.
So basically she tried to seduce the NPC by going down on him seductively, and ended up getting poked in the eye and being rushed to the local shaman.
Secret Satan 2013 Wishlist
Well, she didn't have to roll to sleep with him. That part was a forgone conclusion....because money had changed hands.
Oh.
What that part left out? Right. She offered to drill the NPC for some cash so that the poor man of our merry band could by himself a shiny.
The roll was just to determine if she was good enough to get some information out of him via pillow talk.
Turns out, nope. Not that good a lay.
So a toothy BJ and a cold fish lay.
Secret Satan 2013 Wishlist
We've all been there.
things generally aren't false flag operations
Thank you.
I have to be...inspired.
Somebody's logged into Tube's account to discredit false flag operations!
Mods!?
Your local game store might have a pinboard with groups looking for players.
Or Craigslist.
It's worked well for me.
"Here's a harmonica. Play me 'Moon River'."
I'm going to have to stash a harmonica next to the bed soon and then play Amazing Grace.
Bet I can get to the refrain before her brain hardlocks and everything comes to a sudden, yet hilarious, halt.
Go on.