uuugh youre awful and flippant and you ignore me and youre useless useless useless sometimes im so tired of you!! and YOU, YOU'RE a giant crybaby and you need to stop yelling at my mom, and you, i wish i could be a better friend for you (or in general) but im an unrepetant recluse so too bad u_u that doesnt mean i dont like you though so please have patience for my sad attempts at interaction!!! also i really wanna subway sandwich but its too late now sigh
Baroque And RollEvery spark of friendship and loveWill die without a homeRegistered Userregular
I feel like I'm losing my damn mind.
As soon as I'm alone, I feel like a burden and a bother. I feel like texting someone just to have someone to talk to makes me fucking pathetic. I feel emotionally alone all the time. And I know, I fucking know, that just because someone isn't texting me back that doesn't mean I'm being a bother or they're pissed at me or they hate me. But even the slightest rejection throws me for a fucking loop. I can't get a grasp on any of my fucking emotions. I don't know whether to hit something or cry or just be calm. And I know people care! I've been told without ambiguity that people care, but it just falls so emotionally flat. I know they're not lying to me. They want to see me better. But nothing makes me feel better. And I just want to function like a normal fucking person. I'm having so much trouble getting to class because I just wake up and realize that I'm too fucking sad or too fucking scared to go.
ABLOO BLOO BLOO
SteamID: Baroque And Roll
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ceresWhen the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderatormod
As soon as I'm alone, I feel like a burden and a bother. I feel like texting someone just to have someone to talk to makes me fucking pathetic. I feel emotionally alone all the time. And I know, I fucking know, that just because someone isn't texting me back that doesn't mean I'm being a bother or they're pissed at me or they hate me. But even the slightest rejection throws me for a fucking loop. I can't get a grasp on any of my fucking emotions. I don't know whether to hit something or cry or just be calm. And I know people care! I've been told without ambiguity that people care, but it just falls so emotionally flat. I know they're not lying to me. They want to see me better. But nothing makes me feel better. And I just want to function like a normal fucking person. I'm having so much trouble getting to class because I just wake up and realize that I'm too fucking sad or too fucking scared to go.
ABLOO BLOO BLOO
You might be me.
And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
yay for treating your depression with no real effect.
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ceresWhen the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderatormod
Sometimes you need to try a few different things before it works.
And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
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Baroque And RollEvery spark of friendship and loveWill die without a homeRegistered Userregular
Like this happened last year around the same time. And like, I got my shit together and made my life better.
And like, I've been mostly fine since December. But fucking last Tuesday rolled around, and like 4:45 a.m. rolled around and I am awake + crying for no reason and I just hate everything
i've been working on my depression for more than five years at this point. i thought i had a solution until july, when i had the worst drop of my lifetime. now i'm back to work again, but i'm still catching up. it's not something that can be cured, but it is absolutely something that can be treated and treated successfully.
i've been treating mine for about 2 years with no real results from several drugs or therapists
soo tired of working at it at this point
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ceresWhen the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderatormod
I've been off and on medication my entire adult life. I seem to sometimes go years without needing it at all, and then something stupid will come along and I will just break the fuck down. I actually just went back on a few weeks ago.
I've still had some bad times, but they just go away easier now. It helps that I have a couple people in my life who love me, who I can talk to any time about anything. The past couple mornings haven't been great, but I've been able to talk them okay again instead of hanging on for days. It's a big deal.
And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
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Garlic Breadi'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm aRegistered User, Disagreeableregular
As soon as I'm alone, I feel like a burden and a bother. I feel like texting someone just to have someone to talk to makes me fucking pathetic. I feel emotionally alone all the time. And I know, I fucking know, that just because someone isn't texting me back that doesn't mean I'm being a bother or they're pissed at me or they hate me. But even the slightest rejection throws me for a fucking loop. I can't get a grasp on any of my fucking emotions. I don't know whether to hit something or cry or just be calm. And I know people care! I've been told without ambiguity that people care, but it just falls so emotionally flat. I know they're not lying to me. They want to see me better. But nothing makes me feel better. And I just want to function like a normal fucking person. I'm having so much trouble getting to class because I just wake up and realize that I'm too fucking sad or too fucking scared to go.
ABLOO BLOO BLOO
this is literally me right now
I feel like I'm bothering people by talking to them, but when I don't have anyone to talk to I just sit there shaking, feeling sick to my stomach thinking that everyone hates me and is annoyed by me and god why can't I just get over myself
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Baroque And RollEvery spark of friendship and loveWill die without a homeRegistered Userregular
Is this the part where I realize that I'm not actually a fundamentally broken human being?
SteamID: Baroque And Roll
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Garlic Breadi'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm aRegistered User, Disagreeableregular
Is this the part where I realize that I'm not actually a fundamentally broken human being?
It's the part where we're supposed to but we won't because we have crippling anxiety/depression and we're all alone
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ceresWhen the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderatormod
As soon as I'm alone, I feel like a burden and a bother. I feel like texting someone just to have someone to talk to makes me fucking pathetic. I feel emotionally alone all the time. And I know, I fucking know, that just because someone isn't texting me back that doesn't mean I'm being a bother or they're pissed at me or they hate me. But even the slightest rejection throws me for a fucking loop. I can't get a grasp on any of my fucking emotions. I don't know whether to hit something or cry or just be calm. And I know people care! I've been told without ambiguity that people care, but it just falls so emotionally flat. I know they're not lying to me. They want to see me better. But nothing makes me feel better. And I just want to function like a normal fucking person. I'm having so much trouble getting to class because I just wake up and realize that I'm too fucking sad or too fucking scared to go.
ABLOO BLOO BLOO
this is literally me right now
I feel like I'm bothering people by talking to them, but when I don't have anyone to talk to I just sit there shaking, feeling sick to my stomach thinking that everyone hates me and is annoyed by me and god why can't I just get over myself
Nah, you cool.
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ceresWhen the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderatormod
edited September 2011
You guys can talk to me if you want. I'm pretty much always around somewhere.
It's no bother to me; at this point I'm just paying it forward.
ceres on
And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
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AntimatterDevo Was RightGates of SteelRegistered Userregular
ceresWhen the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderatormod
Seriously. Forumers have come out of the woodwork over the past couple weeks to talk to me until I felt better, until I had a plan, until I didn't feel like walking into traffic if I could be bothered to get up.
If you need to talk and someone offers, take it. Someone might change your life.
And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
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ArtreusI'm a wizardAnd that looks fucked upRegistered Userregular
@Baroque And Roll brodogg I keep telling you you can text or call me whenever and I will talk at you.
Also yeah the whole "I worked so hard and was better" and then BOOMCRASH everything sucks again thing reaallly sucks
Garlic Breadi'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm aRegistered User, Disagreeableregular
and while I think that it's good for me to actually talk to people about it, I get caught up on always being "the strong one" and never showing a sign of weakness to people and after I talk about this shit it makes me feel even worse and wish I'd just clammed up forever and put on a happy face
i am a blubbering wellspring of unsolicited advice for people that i care about and i hate it but i don't know how to stop or to show that i care or to respond to a situation otherwise
and while I think that it's good for me to actually talk to people about it, I get caught up on always being "the strong one" and never showing a sign of weakness to people and after I talk about this shit it makes me feel even worse and wish I'd just clammed up forever and put on a happy face
Nah man that's bullshit. No one can be the 'strong one' all the time. Everybody needs to talk sometimes.
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AntimatterDevo Was RightGates of SteelRegistered Userregular
strong men
also cry
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Donovan PuppyfuckerA dagger in the dark isworth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered Userregular
Yep.
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Garlic Breadi'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm aRegistered User, Disagreeableregular
and while I think that it's good for me to actually talk to people about it, I get caught up on always being "the strong one" and never showing a sign of weakness to people and after I talk about this shit it makes me feel even worse and wish I'd just clammed up forever and put on a happy face
Nah man that's bullshit. No one can be the 'strong one' all the time. Everybody needs to talk sometimes.
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i left early and came late
i'm so good at college and making friends
you could try talking to one or two of the 'leaders' of the group one on one instead
i imagine it can be p intimidating
we started with a game
As soon as I'm alone, I feel like a burden and a bother. I feel like texting someone just to have someone to talk to makes me fucking pathetic. I feel emotionally alone all the time. And I know, I fucking know, that just because someone isn't texting me back that doesn't mean I'm being a bother or they're pissed at me or they hate me. But even the slightest rejection throws me for a fucking loop. I can't get a grasp on any of my fucking emotions. I don't know whether to hit something or cry or just be calm. And I know people care! I've been told without ambiguity that people care, but it just falls so emotionally flat. I know they're not lying to me. They want to see me better. But nothing makes me feel better. And I just want to function like a normal fucking person. I'm having so much trouble getting to class because I just wake up and realize that I'm too fucking sad or too fucking scared to go.
ABLOO BLOO BLOO
SteamID: Baroque And Roll
You might be me.
That's depression, hoss. Get some help about it. I did, and I would not be a functioning human being today if I had not.
SteamID: Baroque And Roll
And like, I've been mostly fine since December. But fucking last Tuesday rolled around, and like 4:45 a.m. rolled around and I am awake + crying for no reason and I just hate everything
SteamID: Baroque And Roll
soo tired of working at it at this point
I've still had some bad times, but they just go away easier now. It helps that I have a couple people in my life who love me, who I can talk to any time about anything. The past couple mornings haven't been great, but I've been able to talk them okay again instead of hanging on for days. It's a big deal.
this is literally me right now
I feel like I'm bothering people by talking to them, but when I don't have anyone to talk to I just sit there shaking, feeling sick to my stomach thinking that everyone hates me and is annoyed by me and god why can't I just get over myself
SteamID: Baroque And Roll
It's the part where we're supposed to but we won't because we have crippling anxiety/depression and we're all alone
No more so than I am, at least.
...I don't know how comforting that is.
Nah, you cool.
It's no bother to me; at this point I'm just paying it forward.
second
If you need to talk and someone offers, take it. Someone might change your life.
Also yeah the whole "I worked so hard and was better" and then BOOMCRASH everything sucks again thing reaallly sucks
and the gengars who are guiding me" -- W.S. Merwin
bluh bluh bluh
Nah man that's bullshit. No one can be the 'strong one' all the time. Everybody needs to talk sometimes.
also cry
or you're drunk
:^: