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[Mass Effect] SPOILER ALL ME3 DISCUSSION. EVERY SINGLE BIT. EVEN HINTS.
Deaderinred
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
i hear its pretty good. i wouldn't know, it hasnt arrived yet and you are all too busy playing to make a new thread about it for me peer at like a starving child in a candy shop window.
edit: -Tal op is in the house!
Mass Effect Wiki - N7 Collector’s Edition - Suicide Mission Guide - Import Saves - Face Codes
*
Earth is burning. Striking from beyond known space, a race of terrifying machines have begun their destruction of the human race. As Commander Shepard, an Alliance Marine, your only hope for saving mankind is to rally the civilizations of the galaxy and launch one final mission to take back the Earth. Available March 6, 2012 on PC, Xbox 360, and Playstation 3.
List of Origin/XBL/PSN names here! (Join here!)
Join the Steam group!
Xbox Metatag = PennyA ME3
ME3 Videos
Normandy Tour 2 - Normandy Tour - Hijacking an Atlas - Palaven Gameplay - Live Action Trailer - Mars Gameplay - Galaxy Map - CG Trailer - FemShep Trailer - Ruthless and Intelligent Enemies - Adrenaline-Pumping Gameplay - Integrated Storytelling - Customizable Arsenal - Voice Cast - Multiplayer Trailer - James Vega - Tuchanka Gameplay - Squad Leader Gameplay - E3 Trailer - Earth Demo - Sur'Kesh Demo - Reaper Base Demo - Kinect Demo
*
More Mass Effect
Games!
Comics!
Books!
A motion picture! + An anime!
*
Community Sundries
TychoCelchuuu has been kind enough to provide peeks at Commander Shepard's facebook page:
one two three | FOUR! FIVE!!
GoodKingJayIII provided the following way to skip much of the introduction:
korodullin has kindly offered some R&R with a wonderful game of bingo!
Spoit's far more simple variation:
curly haired boy has been kind enough to provide us a brief history of Mass Effect:
sovereign watches the asari discover citadel
THEY ARE PRETTY, YES. BUT THEY HAVE ALREADY BEGUN A CULTURAL STAGNATION. UNFLAVORFUL AND BLAND I DEEM THEM
salarians come in, ambitious, but under the influence of asari cease progressing as well
OH GOD THEY'RE LIKE POP ROCKS. TOO BAD THEY DON'T LAST LONGER....ANYONE ELSE GOING TO JOIN THE PARTY?
no? oh well guess i'll drop the voice effects it's not like these rachni can appreciate them anyway. ok you bug queens guess i'll trigger this purge early. not much this time around but that's just the way the cookie crumbles. wish you buggers were worth more to me than as a puppet race...ah nevermind
OH FUCK KROGANS
dammit, they didn't even register on my spacefaring, relay-using species list!
looks like this plan ain't gonna work retreeeat
also very odd i sent the signal to open the citadel relay but it didn't work. UPSETTING.
also dammit that was the loss of a good puppet race indoctrinate the queens and everyone follows ugh ugh where am i gonna find another one oh well
ooo turians OOOO they didn't even get to the citadel until they were already worth harvesting? OMFG you guys ALONE are worth this purge i gotta let the guys know~
mebbe they'll give me a puppet race or something too!
um ok they're excited too but they say nobody gets access to the collectors unless it's an EMERGENCY
FUCK
uh, uh *casts around*
OH HO HO SENTIENT TOASTERS YOU SAY? I CAN WORK WITH THAT! NO I DON'T CARE THAT THEY HAVE FLASHLIGHT HEADS
hmm humans? well they're no krogan i don't think i have to worry about them much hahaha
besides i've got enough busy-work traipsing all over the galaxy trying to find this prothean "back door" thingy
did the guys bother to tell me about that? nooooo they just get to point and laugh, specially that bitch harbinger. DENY ME ACCESS TO THE COLLECTORS WILL YOU? YOU JUST WAIT
HOW BOUT I LEAVE YOU ALL IN BLACK SPACE HMMM?
i was just kidding guys- ah you don't have to bring that up-LOOK I SAID I WAS SORRY.
who the fuck is this shepard person?
...
ok, WHO the FUCK is this SHEPARD person?
...
OMFG WHO THE FUCK IS THIS SHEPARD PERSON. I AM GOING TO HAVE A CHAT WITH THIS HUMAN.
....
blah that didn't go as well as i'd liked. doesn't matter anyway, me and my flashlight heads are in the backdoor. the guys will like the taste of the turians and it's just gravy if i get to personally stomp out this humanity species too. GOD they can be ANNOYING.
OMFG SHEPARD I SWEAR TO GOD
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGSHDFSJDKFSDFSDFSDF1011011110001011010111-
__________________________________________
WHAT? DON'T LOOK AT ME THAT WAY GUYS, WE ALL AGREED THAT SOVVY WAS TOO INCOMPETENT TO USE THE COLLECTORS.
OK FINE THIS IS A PROBLEM ALRIGHT I'LL USE THE COLLECTORS TO DEAL WITH IT
BAM
SHEPARD'S DEAD ARE YOU HAPPY? GOOD.
...
WHAT NOW. YOU WANT TO USE THE HUMANS? WHAT ARE YOU, OUT OF YOUR BIOMECHANICAL MINDS?
FINE. BUT I DON'T HAVE TO LIKE IT.
...
OH FUCK OH FUCK SHEPARD'S BACK OH FUCK
I THOUGHT I KILLED HIM TOO DON'T FUCKING BLAME ME IT'S NOT MY FAULT SOVVY LEFT THE HUSK TECH LYING AROUND WHERE THEY COULD RESEARCH IT
oh god.
shepard is in the collector base. ah shit. ah SHIT SHIT SHIIITTTTT
....
look, i'm sorry guys i didn't mean for that to happen. YES i know that was our backup plan. YES i know we don't have any "spare" puppet species. YES i know just how much energy we spent on the collectors and on that base.
just....leave me alone. i gotta think.
Dox the PI converted the Grinch who stole christmas into
The Batarian Who Stole Christmas
Every Human Down in the Milky Way Liked Christmas a lot…
But the Batarian, Who lived just north of The Terminus Systems, Did NOT!
The Batarian hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be their slaving isn't right.
It could be, perhaps, that his jump suits too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that he has eyes, two more then normal!
Whatever the reason, his suits or eyes,
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Humans,
Staring down from his ship with a sadistic, Batarian frown,
At the warm lighted windows below on the planet.
For he knew every human down on Earth bellow,
Was busy now, hanging biotic mistletoes.
“And they’re hanging their ez-zo!” he snarled with a sneer,
“Tomorrow is Christmas! It’s practically here!”
Then he growled, with his brown Batarian fingers nervously drumming,
“I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!”
For Tomorrow, he knew, all the Earth girls and boys,
Would wake bright and early. They’d rush for their consoles!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise!
Noise! Noise! Noise!
That’s one thing he hated! The NOISE!
NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then the Humans, young and old, would sit down to a play.
And they’d play! And they’d play! And they’d play!
play! play! play!
They would play M-E-1 and play M-E-2.
Which was something the Batarian couldn't stand in the least!
And THEN They’d do something He liked least of all!
Every Human down on Earth, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.
They’d stand hand-in-hand. And the Humans would start singing!
They’d sing! And they’d sing! And they’d SING!
SING! SING! SING!
And the more the Batarian thought of this Human Christmas Sing,
The more the Batarian thought, “I must stop this whole thing!”
“Why, for Twenty-Three years I’ve put up with it now!”
“I MUST stop this Christmas from coming! But HOW?”
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE BATARIAN GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
“I know just what to do!” The Batarian laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Space Santa Claus hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, “What a great Batarian trick!”
“With this coat and this hat, I look just like Saint Nick!”
“All I need is a reindeer…” The Batarian looked around.
But, since reindeer are extinct, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Batarian? No! The Batarian simply said,
“If I can’t find a reindeer, I’ll make one instead!”
So he called his Varren, Max. Then he took some red thread,
And he tied a big horn on the top of his head.
THEN He loaded some bags And some old empty sacks,
On a ramshackle sleigh And he hitched up old Max.
Then the Batarian said, “Giddap!” And the sleigh started down,
Toward the homes where the Humans Lay asnooze in their homes.
All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
All the Humans were all dreaming sweet dreams without care.
When he came to the first little house on the square.
“This is stop number one,” the old Batarian Claus hissed,
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.
But, if Santa could do it, then so could the Batarian.
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue.
Where the little Human stockings all hung in a row.
“These stockings,” he grinned, “are the first things to go!”
Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole room, and he took every present!
shotguns! And spaceships! hammerheads! guns!
Mattocks! Locusts! Omni-Gel! And plums!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Batarian, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!
Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Humans’ feast!
He took the Human-pudding! He took the roast beast!
He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.
Why, that Grinch even took their last can of human-hash!
Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.
“And NOW!” grinned the Batarian, “I will stuff up the tree!”
And the Batarian grabbed the tree, and he started to shove,
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
He turned around fast, and he saw a Human!
Little Commander Shepard, who was not more than two.
The Batarian had been caught by this tiny Human,
Who’d got out of bed for a cup of cold water.
He stared at the Batarian and said, “Santy Claus, why,”
“Why are you taking our Christmas tree? WHY?”
But, you know, that old Batarian was so smart and so slick,
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
“Why, my little tot,” the fake Santy Claus lied,
“There’s a light on this tree that won’t light on one side.”
“So I’m taking it home to my ship, my friend.”
“I’ll fix it up there. Then I’ll bring it back here.”
And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted his head,
And he got him a drink and he sent him to bed.
And when Commander Shepard went to bed with his cup,
The Batarian went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up!
Then the last thing he took Was the log for their fire!
Then he went up the chimney, himself, the old liar.
On their walls he left nothing but hooks and some wire.
And the one speck of food That he left in the house,
Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.
Then He did the same thing To the other Humans’ houses
Leaving crumbs Much too small For the other Humans’ mouses!
It was quarter past dawn… All the Humans, still a-bed,
All the Humans, still asnooze When he packed up his sled,
Packed it up with their Cains! The Helmets! The Trophy Bots!
The DLC! And the Amps! The Launchers! The Heat Sinks!
30 million feet up! Up earth atmosphere,
He rode with his load to the ship to dump it!
“PoohPooh to the Humans!” he was humming.
“They’re finding out now that no Christmas is coming!”
“They’re just waking up! I know just what they’ll do!”
“Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,
Then the Humans down on Earth will all cry BooHoo!”
“That’s a noise,” grinned the Batarian, “That I simply MUST hear!”
So he paused. And the Batarian put his hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the lands.
It started in low. Then it started to grow.
But the sound wasn’t sad! Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn’t be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at Earth! The Batarian popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Human down on Earth, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any presents at all!
He HADN’T stopped Christmas from coming! IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And the Batarian, with his feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: “How could it be so?”
“It came with out guns! It came without flames!”
“It came without mattocks, locusts or cains!”
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Batarian thought of something he hadn’t before!
“Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store.”
“Maybe Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!”
And what happened then? Well... on Earth they say,
That the Batarians top eyes fell out that day!
And the minute his eyes didn’t feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light,
And he brought back the guns! And the amps for the fights!
And he, HE HIMSELF! The Batarian was carved up and burned with roast beast!
By little Commander Shepard who sold his testes
Bobble Mad wrote an ode to the death of Batarians to the tune of Gilbert and Sullivan
curly haired boy strikes back with awesome wallpapers taken from the game:
Orca has kindly complied all of the shamelessly awful pictures posted in this thread.
Orca explains how to transfer ME1 to Origin:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bG2mdZ23eP8
edit: -Tal op is in the house!
Mass Effect Wiki - N7 Collector’s Edition - Suicide Mission Guide - Import Saves - Face Codes
*
Earth is burning. Striking from beyond known space, a race of terrifying machines have begun their destruction of the human race. As Commander Shepard, an Alliance Marine, your only hope for saving mankind is to rally the civilizations of the galaxy and launch one final mission to take back the Earth. Available March 6, 2012 on PC, Xbox 360, and Playstation 3.
List of Origin/XBL/PSN names here! (Join here!)
Join the Steam group!
Xbox Metatag = PennyA ME3
ME3 Videos
Normandy Tour 2 - Normandy Tour - Hijacking an Atlas - Palaven Gameplay - Live Action Trailer - Mars Gameplay - Galaxy Map - CG Trailer - FemShep Trailer - Ruthless and Intelligent Enemies - Adrenaline-Pumping Gameplay - Integrated Storytelling - Customizable Arsenal - Voice Cast - Multiplayer Trailer - James Vega - Tuchanka Gameplay - Squad Leader Gameplay - E3 Trailer - Earth Demo - Sur'Kesh Demo - Reaper Base Demo - Kinect Demo
*
More Mass Effect
Games!
Comics!
Books!
A motion picture! + An anime!
*
Community Sundries
TychoCelchuuu has been kind enough to provide peeks at Commander Shepard's facebook page:
one two three | FOUR! FIVE!!
GoodKingJayIII provided the following way to skip much of the introduction:
SoundsPlush wrote: »1. A lot of people don't like the opening 10 minute intro movie, but there is a way to get rid of it. Go to
C:....mass effect 2BioGameMovies
Change the extension of the following files to .bak:
Opening_End_Seq.bik
Opening_End_SeqFM.bik
Opening_Seq_INT.bik
ProCer_300_FirstFlight.bik
ME2_Opening_SunMid_INT.bak
ProNor_Pod2.bik
ProNorEscape.bik
ProNorEscapeAsh.bik
ProNorEscapeKaid.bik
ME2_Opening_SunMid_ESN.bik
ME_EAsig_720p_v2_raw.bak
BWLogo.bak
ProNor_Shepard_Rebuilt.bik
This will not get rid of everything, you still have to watch the non-CGI cutscenes and Save Joker. BUt it does cut down quite a bit. If you want those movies back just rename them to .bik again. If you're worried your renaming the wrong thing, you can download a BIK palyer and confirm the files.
2. Changing the first nam of your character does require an external program, but is pretty easy overall.
Download Gib's Save editor here: http://mod.gib.me/masseffect2/saveedit_rev23.zip
Open a save game here: C:Documents and SettingsUSERNAMEMy DocumentsBioWareMass Effect 2Save
Backup whatever save data you want.
Delete all the files except the one you want.
Open it in the editor, go to the Raw tab.
Under squad, click player, and change the first name.
Save the file under something new, since it won't allow you to overwrite for some reason. Make sure it's a save name that makes sense like Save_0002.pcsav, has to follow that format.
Rename the directory the your desired name, and you're done!
3. For those who hate planet scanning and hacking, there is an easy ini file edit floating around. This is just a colaseced editor that you guys have already been playing with but this one seemed pretty idiot proof to me. This again needs an external program but is non-excutable.
http://www.mediafire.com/?yjjzlzzzmyj
This has all kinds of stuff like god mode, extra weapons, infinite ammo etc., but if you just want the money, just use it to get your resources, save, then exit the game and revert to the non-hacked state.
I think that's the same guide I used way back when. It works, just rename the movies to .bik.OLD or something. Pares it from 10 minutes down to ~3 minutes.
korodullin has kindly offered some R&R with a wonderful game of bingo!
Spoit's far more simple variation:
curly haired boy has been kind enough to provide us a brief history of Mass Effect:
sovereign watches the asari discover citadel
THEY ARE PRETTY, YES. BUT THEY HAVE ALREADY BEGUN A CULTURAL STAGNATION. UNFLAVORFUL AND BLAND I DEEM THEM
salarians come in, ambitious, but under the influence of asari cease progressing as well
OH GOD THEY'RE LIKE POP ROCKS. TOO BAD THEY DON'T LAST LONGER....ANYONE ELSE GOING TO JOIN THE PARTY?
no? oh well guess i'll drop the voice effects it's not like these rachni can appreciate them anyway. ok you bug queens guess i'll trigger this purge early. not much this time around but that's just the way the cookie crumbles. wish you buggers were worth more to me than as a puppet race...ah nevermind
OH FUCK KROGANS
dammit, they didn't even register on my spacefaring, relay-using species list!
looks like this plan ain't gonna work retreeeatalso very odd i sent the signal to open the citadel relay but it didn't work. UPSETTING.
also dammit that was the loss of a good puppet race
indoctrinate the queens and everyone follows ugh ugh where am i gonna find another one oh wellooo turians OOOO they didn't even get to the citadel until they were already worth harvesting? OMFG you guys ALONE are worth this purge i gotta let the guys know~
mebbe they'll give me a puppet race or something too!um ok they're excited too but they say nobody gets access to the collectors unless it's an EMERGENCY
FUCK
uh, uh *casts around*
OH HO HO SENTIENT TOASTERS YOU SAY? I CAN WORK WITH THAT! NO I DON'T CARE THAT THEY HAVE FLASHLIGHT HEADS
hmm humans? well they're no krogan i don't think i have to worry about them much hahaha
besides i've got enough busy-work traipsing all over the galaxy trying to find this prothean "back door" thingy
did the guys bother to tell me about that? nooooo they just get to point and laugh, specially that bitch harbinger. DENY ME ACCESS TO THE COLLECTORS WILL YOU? YOU JUST WAIT
HOW BOUT I LEAVE YOU ALL IN BLACK SPACE HMMM?
i was just kidding guys- ah you don't have to bring that up-LOOK I SAID I WAS SORRY.
who the fuck is this shepard person?
...
ok, WHO the FUCK is this SHEPARD person?
...
OMFG WHO THE FUCK IS THIS SHEPARD PERSON. I AM GOING TO HAVE A CHAT WITH THIS HUMAN.
....
blah that didn't go as well as i'd liked. doesn't matter anyway, me and my flashlight heads are in the backdoor. the guys will like the taste of the turians and it's just gravy if i get to personally stomp out this humanity species too. GOD they can be ANNOYING.
OMFG SHEPARD I SWEAR TO GOD
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGSHDFSJDKFSDFSDFSDF1011011110001011010111-
__________________________________________
WHAT? DON'T LOOK AT ME THAT WAY GUYS, WE ALL AGREED THAT SOVVY WAS TOO INCOMPETENT TO USE THE COLLECTORS.
OK FINE THIS IS A PROBLEM ALRIGHT I'LL USE THE COLLECTORS TO DEAL WITH IT
BAM
SHEPARD'S DEAD ARE YOU HAPPY? GOOD.
...
WHAT NOW. YOU WANT TO USE THE HUMANS? WHAT ARE YOU, OUT OF YOUR BIOMECHANICAL MINDS?
FINE. BUT I DON'T HAVE TO LIKE IT.
...
OH FUCK OH FUCK SHEPARD'S BACK OH FUCK
I THOUGHT I KILLED HIM TOO DON'T FUCKING BLAME ME IT'S NOT MY FAULT SOVVY LEFT THE HUSK TECH LYING AROUND WHERE THEY COULD RESEARCH IT
oh god.
shepard is in the collector base. ah shit. ah SHIT SHIT SHIIITTTTT
....
look, i'm sorry guys i didn't mean for that to happen. YES i know that was our backup plan. YES i know we don't have any "spare" puppet species. YES i know just how much energy we spent on the collectors and on that base.
just....leave me alone. i gotta think.
Dox the PI converted the Grinch who stole christmas into
The Batarian Who Stole Christmas
Every Human Down in the Milky Way Liked Christmas a lot…
But the Batarian, Who lived just north of The Terminus Systems, Did NOT!
The Batarian hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be their slaving isn't right.
It could be, perhaps, that his jump suits too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that he has eyes, two more then normal!
Whatever the reason, his suits or eyes,
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Humans,
Staring down from his ship with a sadistic, Batarian frown,
At the warm lighted windows below on the planet.
For he knew every human down on Earth bellow,
Was busy now, hanging biotic mistletoes.
“And they’re hanging their ez-zo!” he snarled with a sneer,
“Tomorrow is Christmas! It’s practically here!”
Then he growled, with his brown Batarian fingers nervously drumming,
“I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!”
For Tomorrow, he knew, all the Earth girls and boys,
Would wake bright and early. They’d rush for their consoles!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise!
Noise! Noise! Noise!
That’s one thing he hated! The NOISE!
NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then the Humans, young and old, would sit down to a play.
And they’d play! And they’d play! And they’d play!
play! play! play!
They would play M-E-1 and play M-E-2.
Which was something the Batarian couldn't stand in the least!
And THEN They’d do something He liked least of all!
Every Human down on Earth, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.
They’d stand hand-in-hand. And the Humans would start singing!
They’d sing! And they’d sing! And they’d SING!
SING! SING! SING!
And the more the Batarian thought of this Human Christmas Sing,
The more the Batarian thought, “I must stop this whole thing!”
“Why, for Twenty-Three years I’ve put up with it now!”
“I MUST stop this Christmas from coming! But HOW?”
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE BATARIAN GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
“I know just what to do!” The Batarian laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Space Santa Claus hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, “What a great Batarian trick!”
“With this coat and this hat, I look just like Saint Nick!”
“All I need is a reindeer…” The Batarian looked around.
But, since reindeer are extinct, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Batarian? No! The Batarian simply said,
“If I can’t find a reindeer, I’ll make one instead!”
So he called his Varren, Max. Then he took some red thread,
And he tied a big horn on the top of his head.
THEN He loaded some bags And some old empty sacks,
On a ramshackle sleigh And he hitched up old Max.
Then the Batarian said, “Giddap!” And the sleigh started down,
Toward the homes where the Humans Lay asnooze in their homes.
All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
All the Humans were all dreaming sweet dreams without care.
When he came to the first little house on the square.
“This is stop number one,” the old Batarian Claus hissed,
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.
But, if Santa could do it, then so could the Batarian.
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue.
Where the little Human stockings all hung in a row.
“These stockings,” he grinned, “are the first things to go!”
Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole room, and he took every present!
shotguns! And spaceships! hammerheads! guns!
Mattocks! Locusts! Omni-Gel! And plums!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Batarian, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!
Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Humans’ feast!
He took the Human-pudding! He took the roast beast!
He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.
Why, that Grinch even took their last can of human-hash!
Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.
“And NOW!” grinned the Batarian, “I will stuff up the tree!”
And the Batarian grabbed the tree, and he started to shove,
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
He turned around fast, and he saw a Human!
Little Commander Shepard, who was not more than two.
The Batarian had been caught by this tiny Human,
Who’d got out of bed for a cup of cold water.
He stared at the Batarian and said, “Santy Claus, why,”
“Why are you taking our Christmas tree? WHY?”
But, you know, that old Batarian was so smart and so slick,
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
“Why, my little tot,” the fake Santy Claus lied,
“There’s a light on this tree that won’t light on one side.”
“So I’m taking it home to my ship, my friend.”
“I’ll fix it up there. Then I’ll bring it back here.”
And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted his head,
And he got him a drink and he sent him to bed.
And when Commander Shepard went to bed with his cup,
The Batarian went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up!
Then the last thing he took Was the log for their fire!
Then he went up the chimney, himself, the old liar.
On their walls he left nothing but hooks and some wire.
And the one speck of food That he left in the house,
Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.
Then He did the same thing To the other Humans’ houses
Leaving crumbs Much too small For the other Humans’ mouses!
It was quarter past dawn… All the Humans, still a-bed,
All the Humans, still asnooze When he packed up his sled,
Packed it up with their Cains! The Helmets! The Trophy Bots!
The DLC! And the Amps! The Launchers! The Heat Sinks!
30 million feet up! Up earth atmosphere,
He rode with his load to the ship to dump it!
“PoohPooh to the Humans!” he was humming.
“They’re finding out now that no Christmas is coming!”
“They’re just waking up! I know just what they’ll do!”
“Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,
Then the Humans down on Earth will all cry BooHoo!”
“That’s a noise,” grinned the Batarian, “That I simply MUST hear!”
So he paused. And the Batarian put his hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the lands.
It started in low. Then it started to grow.
But the sound wasn’t sad! Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn’t be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at Earth! The Batarian popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Human down on Earth, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any presents at all!
He HADN’T stopped Christmas from coming! IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And the Batarian, with his feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: “How could it be so?”
“It came with out guns! It came without flames!”
“It came without mattocks, locusts or cains!”
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Batarian thought of something he hadn’t before!
“Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store.”
“Maybe Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!”
And what happened then? Well... on Earth they say,
That the Batarians top eyes fell out that day!
And the minute his eyes didn’t feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light,
And he brought back the guns! And the amps for the fights!
And he, HE HIMSELF! The Batarian was carved up and burned with roast beast!
By little Commander Shepard who sold his testes
Bobble Mad wrote an ode to the death of Batarians to the tune of Gilbert and Sullivan
I am the very model of a killer of batarians.
I've shot at many orphans, several teachers and librarians.
I love to use explosives in event of an emergency -
and even when it's not they tend to manufacture urgency.
My genocidal point of view is rarely called contrarian -
I am the very model of a killer of batarians!
I've shot at many orphans, several teachers and librarians.
I love to use explosives in event of an emergency -
and even when it's not they tend to manufacture urgency.
My genocidal point of view is rarely called contrarian -
I am the very model of a killer of batarians!
curly haired boy strikes back with awesome wallpapers taken from the game:
curly haired boy wrote: »
Orca has kindly complied all of the shamelessly awful pictures posted in this thread.
Orca explains how to transfer ME1 to Origin:
Orca wrote:manwiththemachinegun wrote:Anyone had sucess transfering ME1 from Steam to Origin? It's not accepting my product key.
From the other thread, enter your info here: https://activate.ea.com/gameactivation.do
then create or link an existing EA classic account. Origin should figure out what's up without you doing anything more at that point.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bG2mdZ23eP8
Deaderinred on
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You're right, it's pretty good.
Still bummed that I don't know when I'll be able to get this game.
Also, I really need to play the single-player. I spent most of yesterday playing multi-player and my wife is getting mad at me. "I want to talk about the single-player but I don't want to spoil any of it for you. Hurry up and play the damn single-player!"
I've been yelling at her for a month to hurry up and finish Saints Row the Third so I can talk to her about that. But oh no, now I'm the bad guy.
Women, am I right fellas?
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561197970666737/
Here is a spoilery link about what the endings do and how to get them: SPOILERS AHOY
So good.
Shitty Tumblr:lighthouse1138.tumblr.com
Looks like someone never played Magic: The Gathering or collected baseball cards before!
Like Quads.
Now I'm not super upset but it's super inconvenient. I don't have a gold account. So I have to make use of the two day pass they gave (and if they didn't give that it would be SUPER bullshit). Now this is inconvenient because I have to wait until later in the game (because readiness can decay? wtf? why?) and make sure that I use it during a 2 day span where I can definitely play enough to get readiness to where it needs to be.
So, really, the multiplayer shouldn't have any bearing on the single player game. It's pretty retarded.
still don't have the game.
More like "looks like someone stopped playing Magic for a reason." :P
And I'm with him. I'd rather have the option to pay 100k credits for an unlock pack for a particular race/class and some related gear. I just want my Salarian Infiltrator. Until then I have to ChargePunchNova all day long. This is Bioware's fault!
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561197970666737/
I'm addicted to MP
But as a consolation, I watched a few more episodes of Game of Thrones last night, so I have that going for me. The commentaries are pretty great.
I do.
But I will have to check!
Shitty Tumblr:lighthouse1138.tumblr.com
Pretty sure there isn't.
MIDGAME AHMAHGAWD SPOILERS JEEZE
Did you take the shot? I bet you did.
Shitty Tumblr:lighthouse1138.tumblr.com
Isn't there some free iOS app that is supposed to contribute to this score? I have no idea how that works (maybe not repeatable), but maybe that could be used in lieu of multiplayer?
Of course the secret ending could be completely rendered in-engine......naaaaaaaaawwwwwwwww.
Shitty Tumblr:lighthouse1138.tumblr.com
Wish we could trade race/class combos...I'm dying to get my asari adept back, and all I got are a worthless krogan soldier, quarian infiltrator, AND a salarian infiltrator. Le sigh...guess I'm stuck spamming singularity/warp/shockwave >.<
What are the repurcussions of my actions? It's great that I fixed the Reaper threat, but there are other problems in the galaxy that I had a major hand in as well that could easily end up being just as important. It definitely feels like the ending of Lost in a way. People wanted to learn about what happened to this but the developers just wanted to show you the end of that story. Now, I picked the Synthesize ending, so I assume everyone who eats different food on the Normandy can now be fine since they're all part synthetic. And I also guess the Reapers went off to debate their newfound organicness and probably killed a bunch of each other? They still seem like threats to me with that ending.
I don't know. I loved every second of the game right up until Shep went up that glowy platform, then it just got weird. I didn't necessarily want a happy ending, but this is just bizarre. I even would have been happy with the "Shep gets locked away for another 50k years and comes back to help the next cycle finally beat them" suggestion someone had. I wonder what the official Bioware "canon" ending is, or if there is one. Because the Destroy ending is the only one that results in a still living Shep.
So far it appears every save is in the cloud for me...
It was pretty awesome.
It was pretty terrible.
I don't care if it makes no sense or spoils the narrative. I wanted at least one "happy" ending where everyone lives and we all ride bikes into the sunset and eat ice cream together.
So bummed.
You didn't accidentally modify it by attaching a scope, perhaps ?
2) Why do the Reapers leave? Why solve with mass murder what could be solved with education?
2a) Or Indoctrination? Work out a lightweight way of Indoctrinating without the Huskification side-effects, and infest species' thought patterns to dissuade them from creating synthetic life?
3) If the organic lives have been saved by placing them in Reapers (???) why are they so compliant with the Catalyst? That doesn't sound like being saved at all.
3a) If they are 'saved', are they actually aware that they're destroying the modern organic species? Do they even feel anything about that? Again, how are they 'saved'?
3b) Do we kill the last remnant of a species every time we kill a Reaper?
4) Why does Shepard reaching the Catalyst mean that the Catalyst's plan has failed?
4a) Why does Shepard get given control just for reaching it? What possible reason is there to assume that the organic life has the capability to make such a wide-sweeping decision, and why is this an option in this cycle and not the cycle when Catalyst was created?
5) If you choose synthesis, what does that mean for the likes of EDI and the Geth? Joker gets glowy eyes but EDI looks unchanged.
6) WTF Normandy crash landing. Just WTF.
There's more where that came from, but those are the ones going through my head over and over.
BF3 code?
I have not, and it's very unfortunate--I was hoping to give it to one of my friends so that she could relish in the glory of shooting mans with various automatic weaponry. Additionally, even though the pre-order bonus only lasted two days, it was also stated to be a retroactive promotion (namely, people who pre-ordered before the promotion was announced would also get it)...and I pre-ordered back in the tail-end of January.
Stutterin' all up in this bitch.
After that ending, I need to shoot mans to recover. Because damn.
I don't know if it's intentional or not, but I've noticed a lot of NPC's in places like the citadel or other places giving air quotes to each other. Seriously, keep an eye out.
I pretty much hate to see multiplayer effect the single-player game in any way whatsoever, considering it's been a single-player game to this point.
That would require some sort of iOS device :P